Title: Marriage Is A Work In Progress
Series: How I Met Your Mother
Character/Pairing: Marshall/Lily, Ted/Tracy, Barney/Robin
Rating: PG-13
Summary: "Kids, the thing nobody tells you about marriage is it doesn't stop when the music ends. It is the hardest, and most rewarding thing in the world."
Author's note: ignores most of the finale. Done for Sitcomathon.
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"Kids, the thing nobody tells you about marriage is it doesn't stop when the music ends. It is the hardest, and most rewarding thing in the world."
Ted broke off when Tracy came into the room. He broke into a smile as she bent down, a plate of new cookies in hand.
"Sumbitches?" Tracy said.
She smiled, ever patient. "If you're going to go on for ten hours again, at least take breaks."
"Has it been that long?" Ted looked at his watch for a moment, then frowned. "It's been longer than I thought. Still-"
He meant to say something more, but he got lost looking at Tracy. She handed him a cookie, and they laughed together at an unshared secret.
Luke rolled his eyes. "Dad, you're doing it again."
Okay, so perhaps he'd lovingly gone into a digression about their mother when he was supposed to be helping with their math a few times, or pulled her into a slow dance when they were supposed to be making dinner, but who could blame him? She was quite literally, a once in a lifetime kind of girl.
"Like I was saying, Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily make it look easy-"
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When Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily thought about children, they both had very different views. What happened later wasn't the endless band practice or princess dress up either of them had imagined.
She broke the eggs and made the smiley face in the pan. She had a makeshift tiara, though it wasn't her birthday. Daisy was going through a princess phase. Marshall had been sent to work quite a few days with glitter all over his suit.
She remembered then, the bacon. They rarely had time for these little rituals which made up the sum of them. She opened the door and peered in, past the take out from last night, the scary things in the back with expiration dates that dated back to their engagement.
She opened the freezer and checked there, nothing.
"Sorry, no bacon today. I forgot to get it when we went shopping."
It probably would've thawed with their backseat interlude, so it was for he best.
"It's all right; for you, I'd go baconless and bigfootless," he said.
She leaned in to kiss him. He hadn't brushed yet or showered yet, but it didn't matter.
"You're still drunk from last night, aren't you?" Lily said.
Marshall nodded.
"Me too," she said.
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"But Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin learned everything the hard way, and most of all, they survived."
It only took two tries of couples therapy for Barney and Robin to know it wasn't for them. Talking about their feelings wasn't one of their strong points. But somewhere around their travels, Uncle Barney figured it out. He always had a way with these kinds of things-pulling magic out of thin air.
Barney kept a feed of Robin's news. Even if the news was boring and depressing, Robin always nailed it. He loved watching the way she talked, her presence, and the sound of her voice. In fact, he had dozens of her videos saved. He put them under names like Topless Sluts and Bimbos on his computer so no one would guess.
Mental high-five for that idea.
Hanging around the hotel room waiting for her was a bore, but he'd found a lot when wandering around the city. Like who knew that Mexican Wrestler Ted was touring? And that laser tag was that universal? He'd already preemptively planned some alone time with him, Robin and the laser guns, even if he had to pay Mexican Wrestler Ted to do something drastic.
She came into the hotel room looking like not just the best girl he knew, but the one he remembered, and the one he came home to. Red dress, killer heels-he was going to have her keep those on tonight.
"The wifi is working again," she said.
Barney loosened his tie.
"No, I mean the wifi is really working," she said.
They really had to get a new let's have kinky sex in public and semi-public places code phrase.
She brushed her hair back, and he fell a little more. That was the thing about Robin. Just being too near to her brought up every urge to run that he knew. It went against all the rules of the game, and even when he'd burned the playbook, then revived it, then saved it in pieces, it was a hard habit to break.
But he always had a trick up his sleeve. Banrey made a quick gesture with his arm, and the cabinet opened to reveal a video game system, and the best TV money could buy around these parts.
He held up the game controller. "Sherbatsky, you lose, you're buying this round. You lose again, and I've got to buy the rounds for a month in wait for it-New York."
It was one of those gamebreaking moments, like when he got down on his knees and hoped she'd say yes, when he burned the playbook, the minute he got it together and went down the aisle.
She kicked off her heels and took a controller. "You're an idiot," she said, her voice going soft, with the hint of laughter.
After they started doing therapeutic laser tag and video gaming and trips to New York, things started to get better. Uncle Barney even started working on a new book called Marriage The Awesome way.
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"And that's it?" Luke said.
"What was I saying again?" Ted said.
Penny sighed. "About how marriage is hard, but how Uncle Marshall and Aunt Lily are perfect, but Uncle Barney and Aunt Robin really have it figured out."
"Actually, I guess the moral of the story is that with the right person, it's never that hard, because even when it's hard, it's easy. Though sometimes, you run out of bacon," Ted said.
Tracy brought in her laptop from the other room. The Skype window was already pulled up, and Lily and Marshall were dressed together like a pair of cat burglars, even though Halloween wasn't for weeks yet. They always went hardcore, even at their busiest, matching their inventive and creative costumes.
"Remember, party on Thursday. I already warned Barney and Robin that if they don't show up, we're stuffing them in the trunk and kidnapping them," Lily said sweetly.
Marshall leaned in. "Oh, I bet it's life lessons day. What's the topic today?"
"Marriage, and how hard it us, unless it's you guys," Luke said.
"That's because we're adorable, bitch," Lily said. She high-fived Marshall.