We all know That JK Rowling is going to end the series in some improbable heroic fashion, with Snape dying to save Harry at the last minute and Harry blasting Lord Voldemort into oblivion in a cataclysmic final battle.

But that's not very realistic is it? A poorly trained teenager versus a psychotic wizard that has personally killed dozens of Aurors and Hit Wizards?

Well, here are a series of more likely endings.

Italics indicates thoughts

()\/()\/()\/()\/()\/()

Lord Voldemort leaned back and let out a long suffering sigh.

It was good to be king, but did his subjects have to be such complete morons? Lucius had been the smartest one of the lot. When he was alive, he kept the other idiots in check, If I am the king, he was Prime Minister mused the creature that was once Tom Riddle , but Lucius couldn't get it through his head that as a dualist, he was mediocre at best. He just HAD to keep challenging Potter and his friends. Sure, he liquefied the Granger mudblood, but the Weasley boy blasted him as gloated.

Sigh.

Good lieutenants are hard to find

Lord Voldemort adjusted his robes as he made himself more comfortable on the commode. His only refuge from his idiot disciples.

Now the only Death Eater with any leadership skills was Dolohov. And while he was a brilliant tactician, his constant pure-blood supremacy rants grated on the nerves. Pure-bloods this, and Pure-bloods that. The man just won't shut up

And his inability to admit that a mudblood could outwit him had lead to more than one failed plan.

One of these days, He'll piss me off on a bad day, and then, POW. And I'll need a new lieutenant

Lord Voldemort watched a cockroach crawl out of a crack where the wall met the floor. He contemplated Avada Kedavra'ing it, just for the hell of it, but his wand was tangled up in his hiked up robes, so it wasn't worth the hassle. He turned back to his musings

And that Bellatrix bitch. That rabid attack dog kept demanding a leadership position, but all she could do was kill and torture. Admittedly, those are useful skills, but her unrepentant glee as she did so scared some of the newer recruits. To be honest, it gave most of the old guard Heebie Jeebies as well.

Snape was ... He was a useful spy, but nobody trusts spies.

And Pettigrew. Please. Lord Voldemort gave a snort of humor. At least Dumbledore's idiots were no better off. They couldn't find their collective ass with their hands tied behind their back.

Old man Moody - The senile old coot ran around yelling "Constant Vigilance" and lecturing teenage boys on wand polishing.

Voldemort shook his head To think that once he had been a serious threat.

The only one in their outfit with any brains was the werewolf, and nobody paid attention to him, because he was a werewolf. And they call me a racist

Voldemort stopped watching the cockroach crawl along the wall and reached for the toilet paper.

The only useful idea to ever come from a muggle

Despite the prophesy, the Potter boy was no threat. He lacked talent or any drive to excel. And most of the teachers at good old Hogwarts were dried up fossils that avoided teaching anything practical for fear that their students would show them up by actually accomplishing something. A half trained schoolboy posed little threat on the battlefield.

As lord Voldemort leaned forward, a wad of toilet paper in his hand, out of the corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of motion.

The cockroach had transformed into a teenage boy.

A cockroach Animagus?

"Reducto!" Shouted Harry Potter.