DISCLAIMER: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, CLAMP does.

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Fanny chan: I have prolonged this chapter from my original script… is it considered angst?

Tomoyo: *sighs* You are now trying to do a humor/romance/angst fic. Don't influence your thoughts with something dark for the time being after all the encouragement from AA-chan.

Chibi Fanny: That's right.

Fanny chan: *looks from Tomoyo to Chibi fanny* Why are the both of you always agreeing? Are you forming a conspiracy or something?

Tomoyo and Chibi Fanny: *grins innocently*

Fanny chan: *sweatdropped* Anyway, enjoy this light-hearted angst. I think that is a good enough term to describe it. Oh yes. Remember to tell me how the first page of my newly created website looks like. *gushes* Those I only done the first page and still have a lot more to go. I would be grateful if you would just take a look. I make the image and background there. I would like to hear your opinions =^_^= ARIGATOU!!!! R&R!

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Summary of this story: Haha… I couldn't stand not writing angst… hehe. Must be something in my blood. So here is a short-story ExT fic… *smiles* R&R please. I don't know why… *ponders* But I find angst fic more touching, more beautiful… *turns to readers and smiles* Right?


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Crying without tears

By Fanny chan

Ending of memories, starting anew

Tomoyo stared out of the window, across the street with soft genial amethysts. In the distance, one could barely make out the faint outlines of a secluded mansion. Keen, sharp and beautiful. These words described Tomoyo perfectly. But what if one were to add another word to describe her? Let's say… the word 'anguished'?

Tomoyo smiled as she walked towards her movie theatre, where she usually viewed her kawaii Sakura-chan. But no, this time was different. Her smile faded as she entered that room she had forbiddened herself to enter.

Her gaze leveled with the rows and shelves of tapes. It was neat, arranged in perfect alphabetical order. Calmly, she walked towards a shelf, eyes overcomed with a dull glow.

Gently, she removed a tape and placed it into the tape recorder. An image appeared. It was of the first time she taped Sakura. There was a beautiful full moon in the background, alone in the starry night sky.

Two flying shapes were evident in that cool night. Who else could it be but our lovely cardcaptor Sakura along with her guardian beast, kero-chan?

Tomoyo's eyes hardened, growing dull and lifeless. In an eeriely slow manner, she ejected the tape and stared at it. Turning it around, she nimbly opened the shell, exposing the most important part, exposed the memories the tape contained of Sakura, her own beloved Sakura-chan.

No… Sakura was not hers any longer. She belonged to Syaoran now and she was happy to be his. Tomoyo felt tears trickle down her cheeks. She pulled and tugged on the film. Then she glared at the remaining tapes.

Glaring was not frequently seen on Tomoyo's perfect face. She was perfect, believed to have no worries and problem. Till now, she still wondered why she encouraged Syaoran to confess his love. Then she shook her head, as if trying to clear all these negative thoughts yet to no avail.

She gritted her teeth, trying all her best to supress her jealousy.

All of a sudden, a knock on the door broke her intense train of thoughts. Tomoyo fell to the ground weeping. Sakura must be having a lovely time with Syaoran in Hong Kong. They should be arranging a marriage soon and she would definitely be the bride's maid, Sakura had promised her that one day long ago, during their usual walk home. That day was long before Syaoran Li entered their lives.

A warm pair of hands grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "Tomoyo, are you okay?" Tomoyo gave no answer only to continue weeping softly.

Sonomi stared worriedly at her child. It was like déjà vu all over again.

She was well aware on how much her child loved Sakura. Not just the kind of friendship love. It was something much deeper than that. She knew. She felt that way before towards Kinomoto Nadeshiko, towards her cousin.

Tomoyo suddenly shook her head and turned to her, wiping her eyes.

"Daijoubu Okaa-san. I'm okay," Tomoyo managed a smile as she wiped her eyes, trying to rid them of tears. Sonomi did not believe her. Her eyes suddenly landed on one of her daughter's precious tapes. Its film had been ripped, the tape, destroyed.

Directing her attention back to her daughter, she forced a smile. "Do you want me to help you destroy those tapes?" Tomoyo smile slowly brightened.

"Hontou ne okaa-san? Will you really do that for me? Arigatou gozaimasu…" Tomoyo bowed down, sadly thanking the heavens of saving her the misery of doing it herself.

Sonomi felt tears forming in her own purple-blue eyes. She must really love Sakura-chan. Sonomi collected the tapes, placing them into a large garbage bag.

Just as she was about to leave the room, Tomoyo called out. "Okaa-san, will you burn them?" Sonomi nodded. Gradually, Tomoyo eyes watered. "Arigatou…"

As the last of her memories of Sakura exited from her room, never to be seen again, she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Flashback

Tomoyo smiled as Sakura bounded towards her humming a joyful tune.

Stopping in front of her, Sakura smiled. "Syaoran-kun invited my family to visit Hong Kong for a while. Kero-chan is going too. Do you want to come along Tomoyo-chan?" Sakura clasped Tomoyo's hands in her own. "Onegai?"

Tomoyo shook her head sadly. "Okaa-san is sick. I must assist her with the company. Gomen nasai Sakura-chan."

Pouting cutely, Sakura shook her head. "Iie Tomoyo-chan. You should take care of your okaa-san. I'll miss you though."

"Daijoubu Sakura-chan. Enjoy yourself in Hong Kong with Syaoran!" Tomoyo smile dimmed as she saw the faint blush on Sakura's face. "Promise you will come back soon?" she added as an afterthought.

"Hai! Chigiru (Promise)," Sakura gave her one last smile before turning around and running back into school

Watching her Sakura-chan running away stirred something inside her. "Sakura gave me her word, yet why do I feel she is simply making an empty promise." Sighing, she walked towards her classroom and sat down, all this while watching Sakura.

I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy…

Tomoyo froze at the phrase that she had said to Sakura-chan some time ago.

I believe that. I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy… but why do I feel as if I am simply deceiving myself?

"Daijoubu Daidouji-san?" Tomoyo stared up into deep azures. "Daijoubu Hiragizawa-kun. Arigatou."

Eriol frowned, the first time she had ever seen he do so. "Then why do you look so sad?"

Tomoyo smiled, shaking her head. "Iie. Okaa-san is sick. I'm simply worried."

"I see."

At that moment, Terada-sensei entered the classroom causing the students to scramble back to their seats.

Tomoyo paid little attention as she thought about her little phrase.

I'm happy as long as the person I love is happy…

***Three weeks after Sakura leaving for her vaccation***

The phone rang loudly in the Daidouji residance.

Tomoyo hurriedly picked it up, hoping it was Sakura-chan.

"Moshi moshi. Daidouji desu."

She was right.

"Tomoyo-chan! You won't believe what had happened! Otou-san said that we would be staying here in Hong Kong! He find it a very pleasant country."

"Better than Tomoeda?" Tomoyo asked, eyes watering.

"Iie Tomoyo-chan. Tomoeda will forever have a special place in our hearts. We would just like to stay here for a year and see how it goes. And Tomoyo, Syaoran and I are engaged now!" Sakura squealed gleefully.

Tomoyo staggered back but still manages to hold herself together.

"I'm glad for you," Tomoyo muttered, hiding her anguish perfectly.

"Arigatou Tomoyo-chan…" Tomoyo could practically see Sakura's red face.

"I'll miss you Tomoyo-chan. We will still be in contact ne?"

"H…Hai." Tomoyo forced out, trying to keep her voice from breaking.

"Waiii!!! Ja ne Tomoyo-chan."

"Syaonara… Sakura-chan."

There was a soft click as the other line went dead.

The phone slowly slipped out of her hand landing with a soft thud.

"Sakura-chan…".

A dark stain appeared on her sky blue dress where the crystalized tear had vanished.

***A week after that phonecall***

Tomoyo traced the intricate design of the jewellry box. "Sakura-chan helped me to open this… when the shield card was preventing it so." Her eyes filled up with tears again as her wobbly fingers placed the key in the lock and twisted it.

A soft metallic click signaled the opening of the treasured box.

Pulling over the top, she slipped her hand past the cherry blossoms and came into contact with a silky velvet cloth.

Gripping it with determination, she snapped the box close and headed towards the garden.

The garden was vast with so many places to hide this treasure. Gradually, she pinpointed a location…

She diug desperately at the muddy earth, not caring on how dirty her fingernails had become. Hiding the small object, she covered the hole once more, running back to her mansion, tears streaming down her cheek.

"That was Sakura's first gift to… me…" Tomoyo dashed inside without a second glance.

Suddenly, a tiny flower petal, one from a beautiful cherry blossom tree, landed on the earth before blowing away again.

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Tomoyo raced to her room, throwing herself on the floor.

"Sakura-chan… sakura-chan… NANDE? NANDE SAKURA-CHAN?"

However, admist her crying, she caught sight of a blurry silhouette. It felt as if it was radiating soothing warmth onto her shaking figure. Wiping her eyes with the long, clean sleeve of her dress, she stared into the manor of Eriol Hiragizawa.

End of Flashback

Picking herself up from the carpetted floor, she made her way back towards the window, staring back at the secluded manor.

Her hopes for Sakura were lost.

Now, she decides to pine for another.

"Suki desu… Eriol-kun…"

Once again, Tomoyo Daidouji felt a new hope in life. Yet she knew, deep in her heart, that this relationship would be nearly impossible. Eriol Hiragizawa had already taken an interest in a woman, a woman that she calls Kaho-sensei.

But one has to take risk to go ahead in life, don't they? One has to take a daring stab at fate…

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And I need to ask a favor from anyone of you. What is the Japanese word Sakura always mutter when everything goes well. It is pronouced as = Yogata... or something like that. What is the correct Japanese speling? Can someone tell me? Please? I couldn't find it in any of my Japanese-English Dictionaries… help?

Arigatou in advance and JA NE!!!!

P/S: This chapter is just the beginning. Interesting parts in the next chapter. =^_^= Oh yes. And don't ask me about the title. It doesn't suit. I know.

~Completed on: 9th September 2002~