A/N: This fic has MAJOR spoilers for the episode ""The Girl in the Fireplace". This fic will not make any sense at all if you haven't seen that episode yet." This fic is how the end of that episode really happens, because otherwise, it's just too sad.
He stared out the window, watching the carriage carry away the remains of Madame de Pompadour…his sweet Reinette…and another tiny part of his heart died, as it always did when he lost someone he loved. It was the curse of the Time Lords to stay forever young while those around them withered and aged, but it never got any easier. This loss was particularly hard, however, given that his relationship with Reinette had somehow managed to span her whole life and still only comprise a few hours of his own.
He'd missed so much.
Had he realized the hole in time located in her fireplace still had a glitch, he never would have left her that last time. He would have waited there while she packed her bag and picked her star so that they could walk through the fireplace together and he could show her his brave new world. But now her flame had died out, and there was nothing but an empty, cold room on the other side of the fireplace where her warmth used to dwell.
It wasn't supposed to end like this. They were finally supposed to take the slow path together. No more popping back years later to find that she'd aged while he had remained the same. Even though he'd only known her a short time by his estimation, he loved her just as deeply as she loved him. He couldn't help it. He'd entered her mind and she'd entered his, and her love…which had taken years and years to cultivate…had come flowing into him. He'd been powerless to stop it. She'd seen into his very heart, and yet she loved him…not just the funny, exciting man who could take her on her wildest adventures…but all of him, the secret, dark parts included. How could he not love her back?
And now she was gone…died at a young age without ever losing hope that he would return for her. He hated to think of her pining away year after year, truly believing that he would return, only to find her hopes were meaningless in the end. He read her letter…she'd believed in him right up until the very end. But he'd been too late.
Lucky thing he had a time machine then, now wasn't it?
Mickey and Rose could tell he was in poor spirits when he returned to the Tardis. They were more than willing to give him his space when he returned without Reinette. They were smart enough to realize what her absence meant. He returned them to London so Rose could see her mum, but he stayed behind in the ship. Neither of them questioned his motives…they just believed he needed some time alone.
Of course, in a way, that was exactly what he needed. Because as soon as he was certain they were too far away to hear the sound of the Tardis departing, he set the dials on his ship to take him straight back to Reinette's room, only ten minutes after he'd left. Ever since he'd brought Rose back to her mum a year later than she'd been expected, he'd worked on fine-tuning his ability to land his ship at a very specific time, right down to the second. And all that practice paid off now, because when he opened the door to the Tardis, he saw Reinette standing there, bag in hand…the way it should have been.
He loved her so thoroughly. Of all the women he had ever known, she was the only one who had seen so deeply inside of him. The fact that she loved him at all after seeing the things he'd done only made him love her more.
For three decades he traveled with her to the farthest reaches of the universe…just the two of them. When he had her, he didn't feel the need for any other companions. They made love for the first time on the silver beaches of the pleasure planet Paradisio (although that certainly was far from the last time), and at one point she even offered to bear him a child. That had been the one thing he'd ever refused her. Despite his loneliness for his people, he wasn't quite ready to begin spawning baby Time Lords. Even at his age, he knew he wasn't mature enough for that responsibility just yet. There was still too much to see…he couldn't bear the thought of being tied down to one spot to raise a child. Although Reinette made it tempting.
They didn't stop their adventuring until Reinette's body finally began to ache with age. She was 67 then, her physical youth far gone, although the fire of her spirit still burnt bright as ever. He would have stayed with her until the day she died, but she had said that such a thing wouldn't be fair to her people in France. She had given the best years of her life to her sad angel, helping to fend off the loneliness for thirty glorious years, but she owed it to her people and to her king to give the last years of her life to them.
Perhaps she had known, even then, how soon thereafter her body would become riddled with sickness. The Doctor could see in her eyes that she didn't truly wish to leave him, but she also knew the depths of pain he felt every time he lost a companion. In her own way, she was trying to save him from that, letting the departure for once be voluntary rather than violent or tragic.
He made love to her one last time aboard the Tardis, enjoying every line and wrinkle in her skin as much as he had loved the supple skin of her youth. To him, she would always be beautiful. When she finally departed, he left her with one last, lingering kiss before allowing her to exit the Tardis, mere hours after she had departed according to her world's timeline.
And of course, he left her with a personal holographic projection unit as well.
He was certain her servants would be having a proper fit at her vanishing into thin air for several hours…he didn't need to add the shock of her aging thirty years in that time span as well. So long as she wore the device at all times, she would continue to look young and lovely. The image was programmed to age slightly over the years, but he made sure that the years would be kind to his little queen. The device had enough power to last a hundred years…long enough to outlast her, grim as the thought may be.
With a sigh, the Doctor returned to the Tardis and set it to travel back to London, only moments after he'd left Rose and Micky behind. His adventures with Rose seemed so far away now. He'd had to write down the time he left to be certain he wouldn't forget her completely. It wouldn't do for him to save one woman he loved if it meant abandoning another.
When the Tardis landed, his cloud of melancholy returned. She was dead now…his Reinette. Truly dead this time. There'd be no going back again…it would be too heartbreaking for the both of them. He reached inside a drawer in the Tardis to pull out the letter she had written him so long ago while on her deathbed…the letter that had prompted him to go back and make things right. With a start, he realized that the words had changed.
My dearest Doctor, if you are reading this, it means that my path has finally come to an end. To the world around me, my sickness seems like an unjust tragedy. They believe it cruel that one so young and full of life should be struck down in such a manner. But you and I know better. I've had a secret life…a true life…with you, my love, walking the slow path together. My only regret is that now you must go on without me, my lonely angel once more. Reason says that I shall never see you again, but I think I shall not listen to reason. My heart says we will meet again in the great beyond, where sickness and age and time are nothing but a shadowed memory. My time grows short now, and I must rest. God speed, my love, and remember, so long as my memory lives on in your heart, I will be with you always.
The Doctor gave a sad smile at reading her words. So, the carriage he had seen riding away hadn't been carrying the tragic figure of Madame de Pompadour, unjustly struck down at the young age of 43. It had been carrying the body of his dear lover, a woman who had lived a life full of danger and adventure before settling down in her final years by returning to the (relative) calm of the royal court. He could not ask for a better ending (short of defying death itself).
But now it was time for him to take the bookmark out of the chapter of his life labeled 'Rose' and pick up where he had left off. In a way, he finally knew how Reinette must have felt during her younger years. She had taken the slow path while he remained the same. Now he had taken the long route, and Rose would be the same as he had left her. It would be quite an adjustment…his adventures with her were a lifetime ago in his mind. But he was nothing if not a brilliant actor, and he could easily blame any oddities that occurred during the transition on his grief over Reinette. It would barely be lying.
Perhaps some day he'd tell Rose what had happened. Or perhaps not. She did seem to be the jealous sort. He'd never have a moment's peace if she believed that every time she left him alone, he was popping off to have some grand romance and adventure without her.
Yes, best to leave her in the dark. After all, what she didn't know couldn't hurt her (or him for that matter).