Title: Sleeping Stephy
Rating: PG
Summary: Princess Stephanie is…ah, you know the story!
Type of fic: Fractured fairy tale
Dedication: For Falcon. She rocks!
Author's notes: Okay, I used a mixture of Disney (though I can't remember the last time I saw the movie), Grimm, and Perrault versions for this. And, of course, my own.
***
Sleeping StephyOnce upon a time in the kingdom of Wrestling there lived King Vince and Queen Linda. They were very unhappy that they did not have any children, so unhappy that it can hardly be expressed. They went to all the watering places in the world, tried vows, pilgrimages, and acts of devotion, but nothing would do. Finally, however, Queen Linda became pregnant and gave birth to a son, whom they named Shane.
Wait. It was supposed to be a daughter, right? Princess…? Aw heck, let's leave Shane-O-Mac in!
There was great partying in the entire kingdom at the arrival of an heir to Wrestling. King Vince and Queen Linda celebrated so much that once again Queen Linda found herself with child. This time she gave birth to a daughter, whom they named Stephanie. They had a fine christening, and for godmothers they gave Princess Stephanie all the Divas that could be found in the country so that when each of them had given her a gift, as was the custom of Divas in those days, Princess Stephanie would in this way have all the perfections imaginable.
After the christening ceremonies, the whole company returned to the palace of King Vince, where a great banquet was held for the Divas. A magnificent set of dinner things was placed before each one of them, with a case of heavy gold in which there were a spoon, a fork, and a knife of solid gold ornamented with diamonds and rubies. But as everyone was taking his place at the table, there appeared a redheaded Diva who had not been invited because she had not left her tower for fifty years, and she was believed to be dead.
Reluctantly, King Vince ordered a place set for her, but he was unable to give her a solid gold case as he had the others because he had had only seven made for the seven Divas. The redheaded Diva, whom was named Lita, thought correctly that she was being held in contempt and muttered several threats under her breath. Young Diva Molly, who was near her, overheard her and since she suspected that Lita might give some harmful gift to Princess Stephanie, she went and hid herself behind the tapestry as soon as they got up from the table in order to be the last to speak and to be able to undo as much as possible the evil that Lita might do.
Meanwhile the Divas began to present their gifts to the little Princess. The gift Trish gave was that Princess Stephanie be the most beautiful person in the world. Torrie gave the gift that she should have an angelic disposition. Stacy gave the gift that she should do whatever she did with a wonderful grace. Jacqueline gave the gift that she should dance perfectly. Victoria gave the gift that she should sing like a nightingale. Jazz gave the gift that she should play all sorts of musical instruments with absolute perfection.
When Lita's turn came, she said, head shaking from spite, that Princess Stephanie should bump her head on a turnbuckle on her fifteenth year and that she should die of it. With a cackle, Lita disappeared in a puff of multicoloured smoke.
The dreadful, awful gift made the whole company shudder, with someone heard whispering, 'What in the blue hell kind of gift is that?' There was not a single person who did not weep at this evilness.
Just then, young Molly stepped out from behind the tapestry and spoke in a loud voice, 'Be assured, King Vince and Queen Linda, that your daughter shall not die. It is true that I have not enough power to undo completely what my evil opponent, whom is undeserving of a shot at my Women's Championship Title, has done. Princess Stephanie will bump her head on a turnbuckle, but instead of dying she will only fall into a deep sleep that will last…well, whenever the worthy Prince destined for her comes to awaken her. I would say one hundred years, but I fear that such a period is much too long.'
Loathe as he was to do it, Prince Shane convinced King Vince to publish an edict forbidding everyone to rid of wrestling shows and pay per views or to build wrestling rings in their backyards, on the pain of death. After some fifteen years, while King Vince and Queen Linda were attending a meeting regarding Prince Shane's tomfoolery at his university, it happened that Princess Stephanie was running about in the estate when she happened upon a curiosity at the very boundary of the castle gardens. It was a wrestling ring, and in it was a young woman practicing how to execute proper wrestling moves.
'What are you doing, my good lady?' Princess Stephanie asked, watching her with interest.
'Wrestling, dear Princess,' the young woman replied, hiding a wicked smile. What Princess Stephanie did not know was that this young woman was the evil Diva, Lita, in disguise.
'How fascinating,' said Princess Stephanie. 'How do you do that? May I try some of the moves?'
'Of course,' said Lita. 'Come inside and I will show you how to do it.'
No sooner did Princess Stephanie step inside the ring than Lita executed a drop-toe, and down went Princess Stephanie, hitting her head on the bottom turnbuckle. Lita saw Princess Stephanie fall in a swoon, and reverting to her true form, she cackled and ran away towards the woods. It was fortunate that Lita did not realise Molly's wish for Princess Stephanie.
The very moment that Princess Stephanie was overcome by a deep sleep, this same sleep spread throughout the entire palace. King Vince and Queen Linda, just having returned from their visit to Prince Shane's university, also fell asleep as they entered the hall. All the people of the court fell asleep, and they were followed by the horses in the stable, the dogs in the courtyard, and even the fire flickering in the hearth became quiet and fell asleep. The roast stopped sizzling, and the Cook Foley, who was just about to pull the Kitchen Boy Crash's hair because he had done something wrong, let him go and both of them fell asleep. Finally, the wind died down so that not even a single leaf stirred.
Within a quarter of an hour there grew up around the castle such a great number of trees, large and small, as well as brambles and thorns, all intertwined with one another, that neither man nor beast could have passed through. One could see the tops of the towers of the castle, and that only from quite a distance. It can hardly be doubted that Molly had exercised a bit of her skill in this so that Princess Stephanie would not have to fear curious visitors while she was sleeping.
News of what happened spread quickly, and it was not long before Prince Shane heard of what became of his kingdom and castle home. He remembered Diva Molly's wish and prophesy for his sister, and at once he set off towards the land of Blonde Canadians, where he knew that Princess Stephanie's soulmate resided, for the two young royals had met the previous year at the Annual Ball. Sparks had flown, and all who were present knew that they were destined to be together.
It took Prince Shane many, many days before he reached the land he seeked, and at once he demanded to see the King. But it was not to be, as the King of the land was away on business. However, Prince Edge received him with a happy grin, and immediately inquired of Princess Stephanie.
'I have bad tidings, Prince Edge,' Prince Shane said without breath, as he had ran all the way into the main hall of the castle from outside.
'What is it?' asked Prince Edge with concern. 'What has become of my Princess Stephanie?'
'You must come at once, for she waits for you,' Prince Shane said. 'My family, my whole kingdom relies on you.'
Prince Edge ordered that his horse be brought for him, and leaving a note of explanation for his parents, the two men rode out, back towards the kingdom of Wrestling. When they arrived a peasant greeted them with these words: 'Prince Edge, our kingdom is all but dead, and we cannot go about our business. The most beautiful Princess Stephanie sleeps in a wrestling ring, and the son of a king whom she had been destined for is the only one who can awaken her. Even I, but a lowly peasant, knows that you are that Prince she is destined for.'
At this speech, Prince Edge felt himself all on fire. Spurred on by love and honour, Prince Edge resolved to awaken his beloved. Hardly had he advanced toward the woods when all those huge trees, brambles, and thorns opened of themselves to let him pass. He walked toward the castle, and was surprised when he saw that none of this servants, and not even Prince Shane, could follow him because the branches came together again after he had passed.
But Prince Edge did not turn back from his path. A young Prince in love is always valiant.
He went into the great forecourt where everything he saw at first might have frozen him with fear. The silence was horrible and the image of death appeared everything in the bodies of men and animals stretched out on the ground, apparently dead. He realised, however, from the crimson faces of the APA guards that they were only asleep, with their mugs of beer still half full and clearly showing that they had fallen asleep while drinking.
As Prince Edge passed through the castle he saw rooms full of lords and ladies, all asleep, some standing and others sitting. Had it not been for their snoring, the heroic Prince would have thought himself walking through a graveyard. He walked out to the castle gardens, awed by the bloom of the numerous flowers he saw. At the very bottom of the gardens he saw the wrestling ring, and he hurried to it.
Prince Edge saw the loveliest sight he had ever seen. Princess Stephanie, the splendour of whose striking beauty seemed to have something divinely luminous about it. He approached her trembling with wonder, and knelt down beside her. With great care, he bent over the form of his Princess and laid a gentle kiss upon her cerise lips.
Princess Stephanie woke up, and looking at him with eyes more tender than a first glance would seem to permit, she said to him, 'It is you, my Prince.'
Prince Edge was charmed by her words, and even more by the way in which she spoke them. He did not know how to express his joy and gratitude, and he assured her that it was he, her destiny.
As the rest of the people shook themselves from sleep, the trees, brambles, and thorns that had protected the castle began to untwine and disappear, the palace of the kingdom of Wrestling being restored to its original glory. Prince Edge then helped Princess Stephanie out of the ring, and led her back into the castle. King Vince, Queen Linda and Prince Shane all greeted Princess Stephanie with much rejoicing, and heaped profuse gratitude on Prince Edge.
After dinner, for those who had been asleep for many weeks were starving, the Wrestling minister D'Von was called forth to marry Prince Edge and Princess Stephanie, but Prince Shane said 'No! Not yet! We must prepare properly for this particular wedding, for it is just not any marriage, but the union of two who are destined for each other.'
The people heeded Prince Shane's words, as he spoke the truth. And anyway, Prince Edge felt uncomfortable at the thought of marrying without the presence of his family and of the subjects of his kingdom. Understandably upset, Princess Stephanie bid a tearful farewell to Prince Edge.
'Do not cry, my Princess, for I will return with haste,' Prince Edge soothed her, and with final kiss, he departed for his kingdom of Blonde Canadians.
True to his word, Prince Edge returned with haste, and wedding preparations were made. In the middle of the kingdom of Wrestling and the kingdom of Blonde Canadians was the small territory of Paradise. It was in this land that the biggest and most extravagant wedding seen in many countries was celebrated in great splendour.
As it had been prophesised, Prince Edge, the son of a king who had been destined for her, had awakened Princess Stephanie, and the two lived happily to the end of their days. end.