Hi! This is my first fanfic so.. PLEASE take it easy on the comments.. I was extremely bored one day so I just suddenly decided to make this.. I hadn't planned it out so well so the storyline may be a little cheesy.. also it took me forever to get off my lazy ass and post it.. but I finally did :D.. anyway I should stop rambling on.. no one reads this part anyway.. so.. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters (Light, Sayu, L, etc.) they all belong to Tsugumi Obha..

I hate it. Everytime she says his very name my heart shatters into billions of pieces. One of the worst parts is that he's always over at our house, on the couch, cuddling with her. I don't understand it. At all. He's literally 10 years older than her and my parents except that. Everytime I'd bring a girlfriend home my parents immediate response would just be 'she's cute' or 'she seems like a nice girl'. But every single time Sayu has him over my parents are all over those two. I feel as if they've completely forgotten that I ever existed. That's exactly how I wish it was. How much better would the world be if I was never been brought to this planet? The only thing they noticed about me was how smart I was and the A+ average that I had in every single one of my classes. But all that was starting to go away too. I was too in over my head about Sayu and .. L's relationship. He doesn't deserve her. It should be me sitting on that couch, wrapped in his warm embrace. Why can't it be that way? Why couldn't one thing be the way I wanted it to be? That's all I want. For him to love me. Not her.

"Li~ight, L's coming over for dinner tonight. Get down here and set the table!" Light immediatly snapped out of his daze and glanced at the clock sitting on the desk in front of him. ~Damnit. Another painful night, watching my sister crawl all over him~. He sighed, giving in and went downstairs. There they were. Sitting on the couch like always. L looked up at Light and smiled. ~His smile, damn that smile. Every time I see that beautiful smile the world around me disappears and nothing matters anymore. Those perfect lips, carved in such a way that makes him look so unreal.~ Light put his hand up to his forehead and tried to calm himself. ~Damnit Light. Get a hold of yourself. You can't do this in front of them! They can't suspect a thing or your life is going to be ruined..forever.~

Many different thoughts raced through his mind as he sat at the table directly across from L and Sayu. Watching them just made him absolutely sick. The way she stroked his hair. The sound of her giggling after every kiss he gave her. He couldn't stand it. The fork fell out of his hand and the screech of the chair on the floor echoed the room as Light stood up.

"Excuse me. I'm not hungry. I'm going up to my room."

"Fine. Just be down in time for the movie." Ignoring the last thing his mom said, Light walked back up the stairs and into the bathroom. He looked into the mirror.

"What have I become... I'm secluding myself from my whole family.. just because of some.. guy?" He muttered to himself and studied his reflection.

"I mean, what is it that I see in him any way? How could someone be attracted to a man that looks as if he just crawled out from under the bed?"

Several minutes passed that seemed to Light like hours before his mom shouted from the bottom of the stairs once more.

"Light! Come downstairs! We're going to watch the movie now!" The brunette heaved himself off of the counter, walked down the stair steps, shoulders slouched, and walked into the family room. He searched for a place to sit until it seemed to him that there was no where available.

"Hey Light-kun, you can sit next to me." Light almost froze at the sound of that warm voice that made his stomach flip and his face turned white.

"U-uh sure Ryuzaki.." Light stuttered and sat down right beside L and Sayu. He tried to focus on the movie that played on the tv screen but couldn't get over the fact that he was sitting next to the one person that he would give anything in the world to be with. The fact that his leg was right up against L's didn't help either. Several times he tried to move over but the arm of the couch denied that. He sighed and moved his arm over a little, accidentally elbowing L in his 'soft spot.' The gesture made L jump and squeak a little.

"M-my apologies Ryuz-zaki!" Light stuttered, his face flushed.

"No worries Light-kun, forget anything happened. It's like not you did it on purpose."

That was the problem right there. He DID do it on purpose.

"Right Ryuzaki, I'll just be careful about where I put my arm next time.." Light nervously scratched the back of his head and looked back at the tv. ~Great. He probably thinks I'm some freak that has a strange fetish for touching people like that now.. God what am I going to do..?~ He tried to keep his mind off of L but the exerting heat coming from L's leg was a constant reminder of how he was trapped.

"E-excuse me, I need to use the bathroom.." The brown haired boy barely managed to say. L nodded and Sayu ignored him, too focused on the movie. Light heaved himself off of the couch, finally escaping the trapped position he was in, and walked back up the stairs. ~This is it.. I can finally end it all.. and I know exactly what to do..~ He thought and walked into his bedroom, not the bathroom. Walking over to his dresser, he pulled out a long leather belt and looked to the closet. He stepped inside the dark, walk-in room and turned on the light. He tied the belt in such a way that no matter how much he struggled, would not come untied from the pole lying horizontally between two walls. He took the loop of the noose and pulled it over his head and tightened it around his neck. "Farewell everyone... I love you.. Mom, Dad, Sayu... Law..liet.." He choked, gasping for air as he let all his weight hang from the gallow that he had hung from the rack. Face turning pale and body becoming colder, and Light slowly lost feeling in his body as the world around him slowly faded into an eternal blackness...

Until..

He felt two cold hands lift his body up and shakily untie the belt from around his neck.

"Light!"

Was he dreaming? Was this an angel coming to take him to his final damnation? No. It couldn't' have been. This... angel looked too familiar. Too human. The angel had long, shaggy black hair and wore saggy clothes that barely fit his body.

"Light!"

"God..?" Light asked and slowly opened his eyes.

"No.." L spoke in his deep, monotone voice. Light opened his eyes fully and stared at the sleep deprived detective in front of him. He looked down ashamed.

"What on earth do you think you're doing?" The raven continued, voice now uneven.

"I.. I.. was.. trying... to kill myself." Light rasped and slowly gained the color back in his face.

"Why?"

"I'm not wanted here... my parents only care about you.. and my sister.. I tried to make them proud, but they didn't want me.. I'm a disgrace as a human and you know that damn well." He cursed.

"Light! How could you? No matter how much you may think you're hated you can't give up like that! You have to stay strong! Your parents love you! Sayu loves you! I.. love you.." Light looked up confused.

"What?"

"I love you Light.." L murmered as his bangs cast a shadow upon his face.

"But what about Sa-." He was cut off.

"No. She was just a tool. To help me with the Kira case. Obviously it's not really working that well..I'm a failure as a detective.. "

"No you're not.. L... I have something to tell you.."

"What is it?" L said, looking up and for once, looked like a 25 year old man, not a strange insomniac with an odd sweets addiction. Light hesistated.

"I-I... I'm... K-kira.." L looked down and snickered maniacally as an evil grin twisted its way onto his face.

"Thank you. That is all I need to know." L said, dropping Light and stood up straight.

"Guards. Take him away." Light looked up.

"What? This was a trick?" He screamed, devastated.

"I never loved you! You're so stupid for thinking that!" L scoffed as two men in suits came up from behind him and handcuffed Light.

"You're sick! You're a monster!" Light cried as the guards carried him out of the bedroom.

"Not sick. Nor a monster." L retorted. "Just the world's. Best. Detective." He laughed, a smirk forming on his face while the guards carried Light down the stairs, out of the house, and to a police car, sitting on the curb.

~This is it..~ Many different thoughts raced through the young boys' mind as he stared up at the blank, lifeless ceiling. The chill of the metal table that Light was strapped to radiated off and caused him to shiver. The man that Light once believed to be the man he looked up to and longed to spend eternity with crept into the room with a silver case. The brunette's eyes followed L to where he set the case down on the plain white counter and unlocked it. He pulled out a syringe, longer than any Light had ever seen before. The terrified teen counted L's footsteps then looked up at the raven haired man, who was now a stranger in Light's eyes. Slowly, he could feel the slight sting as needle punctured his skin and the cold touch of L's hand on Light's arm. The feeling in Light's body faded and his own skin turned pale and lifeless. Darkness slowly crept its way into his vision until he couldn't even see L's sick, twisted grin. The entire time not one word was spoken and the room beheld an eerie silence all except for a single tear drop that shattered on the floor. Light was finally gone.

Forever.