As Bella slept beside me, her bandaged arm draped lightly across my shoulder, my resolve solidified. I had to leave her. I didn't relish the idea. The very thought of spending a single day without her, let alone the rest of my existence, left me feeling as if I had been violently ripped in two. Those two parts warred with each other silently in my head. The part of me that wanted to be happy, the part that had won out time and time again as I tried to do what I knew what was best for Bella and failed, told me that I should stay. This part of me delighted in all things pleasurable when it came to her and it was what kept me close to her from the first time I saw her, what drew me back from Denali and kept me close enough to fall in love with her, even when I knew it was wrong. The other part of me demanded that I leave her tonight. This part of me loved her more than myself or my own happiness. It knew that she would never be able to have a normal life, a happy life, while I was a part of it. She would always be in danger while I was with her, not only from monsters like me, but also in danger of missing out on all the important things that made life worth living. Did I love her enough to leave her? Yes, I did. Did I have the strength to actually follow through with the plan this time? That, I didn't know.

I turned my eyes to her beautiful face, trying to find the answers as if they were hidden there, in the color of her cheeks or the dark strands of her hair. I tentatively reached out and ran my index finger lightly across her cheek, wishing there was a simple resolution to the situation I now faced. Even in sleep, she responded to my touch, moving herself closer to my body, as if the cold didn't repulse her as much as I felt it secretly did. "Edward" she said softly, falling into another episode of talking in her sleep. "I love you, Edward." My heart felt like it was being torn from my chest. All I wanted was her, to love her and fill my days with her for the rest of eternity. In that same instant, I knew I had my answer. Yes, I loved her enough to leave her. I loved her more than anything this life had to offer, including existence itself, and I would make good on that love by doing what was best for her, rather than following my repetitive pattern of selfishness by staying with her. I knew I would have to act quickly, before my resolve crumbled and I let the other part of myself win this argument again. I gently slid my shoulder from under her, laying her injured arm gently on the pillow, and then, with one last glance, sprung from her window, leaving her room for maybe the last time.

I ran home, making it to the clearing in which the house sat in less than three minutes. I hadn't allowed myself to think about my choice as I ran, knowing it would only give me another chance to be weak and rescind my decision. As I entered the house, I saw Esme glance up from the book she was reading in the living room, a worried look on her face. When I stayed at Bella's, which was most nights, I rarely returned home before dawn. I wanted to see every move she made, hear every word she spoke as she dreamed the dreams that often involved me, but that, like her mind, were not mine to see. I hadn't realized that it was just after 2 am until I glanced at the clock in the hall as I closed the front door. "Edward, we didn't expect to see you for hours. Is Bella alright?" Esme asked softly, seeing the obvious pain in my eyes. "She's fine," I replied tersely, "Or, she's going to be." Confusion, understanding and then pain all crossed her gentle face in turn, as I knew she was grasping the basics of my unspoken plan. Edward, this isn't your only option, she thought sadly. I ignored her mental pleading and called everyone's name in turn as I walked to our seldom used dining room. One by one, Carlisle, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and finally, with a look of chagrin, Jasper, joined Esme and I and sat at the large table that was used for just such occasions. All their minds were filled with questions, except Jasper's. All that radiated from his thoughts were apologies, regret and unyielding self-loathing. Part of me was livid with him, but the larger part of me new that this was not his fault. He was just the catalyst that happened to set things in motion. It could have been anything and I was positive it would have happened eventually.

"It's time to leave", I stated simply as the six pairs of eyes on me took in the look of resolve I had determinedly fixed on my face. "No!" Rosalie cried. "Edward, I am not moving just so you can change Bella into one of us." Rosalie was slow on the uptake, but the others were much quicker. For her benefit, I spoke my plan aloud. "We need to leave so that Bella can be left here to start over, free from interference from me, or any of us. As long as we are in her life, she will always be in danger, always have to make sacrifices that will dictate the rest of her life. I want more for her than that. I will give her more of a life than what I can offer her." "Then you leave!" Rosalie spat at me, her gold eyes menacing and angry. "You are the one who puts her danger, not us." Carlisle finally spoke at this. "That's not entirely true. As long as any of us have contact with Bella, she remains in our world, always involved in the happenings of our lives. She will continue to play a part in everything we do as long as we are here." His words were slow and thoughtful as he tried to see the situation from every angle. Kid, why don't you just stay with her? Emmett pondered. She's already been through the worst of it. What more could happen to her really? I know she's a bit of a klutz and all, but what's the worst that would happen if we stayed? "The worst that could happen to her, Emmett," I turned to glare at him, "is that she gets killed, or worse, that she spends her whole life with me and then dies, never getting to experience life as it should be. She would miss out on all the things that no human should lose. Is that what you want me to do?" As I said this, I shot a pointed glance in Rosalie's direction. Her shoulders instantly slumped and a look of pain and regret washed over her perfect face. "No", she muttered, refusing to meet my eyes. By the silence my tirade received, I assumed that the other's agreed with Rosalie's sentiment. "She won't let you go that easily", Alice interjected suddenly. The sound of her voice was desperate. Her eyes were fierce as if she were trying to hold back tears that I knew would never come. I could see that this pain had been building in her since I first resolved to leave Bella and that she had remained quiet until she could no longer contain the sadness and anger that had blossomed within her. "I can see that she'll look for you, and me, if we disappear. Please don't do this Edward, it will destroy her. I love her Edward, don't do this. Please." As she spoke, her vision of Bella's future filled my head. Bella was broken and lost, mourning my absence and looking as though she hadn't eaten or slept in an eternity. The thought of Bella in pain sent floods of anguish through my mind. I couldn't let my Bella be hurt the way Alice saw she would be. No, not my Bella. Not anymore. The half of me that demanded I stay by her side made one last play to overtake me, writhing at the thought of her no longer being mine, but I fought to ignore the fresh wound and continued. "Then we don't disappear", I said in a calm, calculating voice. "I will stay long enough convince her that I don't love her and then we'll leave. She won't try to follow us if she thinks I no longer want her." I heard loud cries of anguished protest emanating from Esme and Alice's thoughts, but I was too deeply lost in my own despair at the moment to deal with theirs. The torturous pain of my words hit home and somehow, the numbness that followed allowed me to plan everything with a flawless rationality. I turned to Carlisle and began plotting our dissolution from Forks. "Carlisle, can you call the hospital and tell them something that will allow you to leave quickly?" "I suppose I could tell them that I received a sudden offer from another hospital that required me to make an instant decision, but Edward," he said carefully, "are you absolutely sure this is what you want? We will of course go with you if this is what you truly feel is best, I only want to make sure that you have thought this through." "This is what I want," I stated shortly, knowing it was one of the biggest lies I had ever told. Of course I didn't want this. How could I want to stray from Bella's unfailingly loyal heart and live the rest of eternity mourning the love I had been a part of for such a short time, a love that would stay with me, strong and achingly painful forever? "Then I will call them in the morning," Carlisle said, resigned to my decision. "Please tell the hospital that you would like this kept quiet for now. I don't want Bella to know we're leaving before it's time to tell her. Tell them we're going someplace that Bella would know we hadn't, like San Francisco or L.A."

Now that the first hurdle was cleared, relocating the rest of my family should be simple. Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett had already graduated from high school, so Alice's absence would be the only one Bella would notice. That would be easy enough to conceal. I would tell her that Jasper had left Forks after what had happened last night and that Alice had gone with him out of concern. She would be troubled, but not suspicious. I can't leave her! Alice thought in broken despair, though she knew her effort was wasted. "When are we leaving?" Esme asked timidly, not wanting to cause me any further pain. "Tonight, if possible," I responded shortly. I will stay behind for another day to complete the deception, but it would be best if the rest of you could leave as soon as possible." "I'll call the Denalis," she said. Her voice sounded broken and hollow. I'm sure we can stay with them until we decide where to go." "Thank you," I breathed, finally letting my strong front fall away slightly. "I know I am asking a great deal from all of you, and I am sorry for that. The situation is no one's fault but my own." I looked meaningfully at Jasper as I said this, but he would not meet my gaze. "We are always here for you and will do whatever we need for one another," Esme said gently as she rose gracefully from her chair and came to wrap her arms around my hunched shoulders. The others followed her lead and got up from table, filing slowly out of the room to begin the process of packing whatever they would take with them when they left in just a few short hours. Carlisle and Esme stared fixedly at me, both wishing that they could look into my mind for once and understand what I needed at this moment. I needed Bella. She was the only thing in this life that ever made me feel better. Life without her was meaningless and without hope and she was now gone from my life. I would see her again, in a matter of minutes, to be exact, but in my mind she was already a separate being, no longer joined with me in any way. I was so overwhelmed by this knowledge that I was sure my face was contorted into a display of pain that would have Esme at my side, begging me to reconsider. To prevent her from having the chance, I called, "I'll see you in Denali," and ran out the door.

The trip back to Bella's house took longer than usual. My feet knew the way but my mind was lost. I saw nothing around me as I ran, only Bella's face. How was I going to convince this amazing, trusting creature who had absolute faith in me, to whom I had promised my love and eternity, that I no longer wanted her? I must find a way to make her believe, even if only an infinitesimal amount, that this was the truth. She was human. It would hurt her initially but, as with all humans, she would get over it. She would move on. A new sea of pain washed over me at this thought, but this knowledge was the very reason I was leaving her. I wanted her to get over me, to have a chance at a normal human life. I silently passed through her window and went to her bed. I eased myself back into the position we had taken before she fell asleep. She could not know that I had left in the night to set in motion the plan that would change both our lives. From this moment forward, I vowed to detach myself from the angel sleeping once again in my arms.