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Post series.
Obvious.
It was obvious, so obvious, it's painful. Obvious! Except for the fact I was pregnant in the future, it was pretty much written right in front of my face. I'm a Charmed one. I need to expect the unexpected, because the unexpected will happen. Nothing in my life is normal, why should my pregnancy be?
Coop could've been pointing right towards her or there could've been big, flashing neon signs and I would've been looking around her for where he and those signs were pointing.
And now it's killing me because I was looking too hard. Maybe, just maybe if I fell in love with her earlier, I could've found a way to dodge the crisis. She would've believed me when I said Kristy was evil.
But now I can't find her. I've been looking for 5 days straight, and nothing but false leads. I've been sitting in my apartment for two days straight, the phone ringing every 5 minutes. That one shower I took was the only thing that mildly calmed me. I haven't eaten. I just can't, my hand was shaking too bad to even hold that cup of coffee I attempted to drink earlier. So all I can do is lie on my bed, silently or sobbing.
I keep going over in my mind how I realized. Awe, pain and ecstasy from that realization. When I thought I was in love before, I was wrong. It was so simple, so obvious. I shudder every time I think of how we could be, simple: after that heart wrenching – I don't want to call it this, but I don't know what else to call it – battle, my sisters were furious. I just couldn't be mad, and also couldn't bring myself to try either, every moment after that the passion inside me grew. Every time I pictured her smile, every time I remembered her touch. I needed her. My heart wrenched just now, and that's just from the word need. I need her, but I haven't seen her beauty in a week.
I realized the phone hasn't rung in quite a while, as there's a knock on the door. I stay where I am; it's obvious who's at the door. I let out a small, pained giggle at that. At least I figured this one out in time.
"Phoebe sweetie?" Piper asks from somewhere behind me. Thanks so much for the privacy! I ignore her and continue focusing on the wall in front of me. I feel the bed shift, then Piper comes into view. She looks worried. I try not to feel angry towards them, but I do. Piper leans down in front of me, her worry turning into concern. I look into her eyes, and the anger softens, but doesn't fade. I'm still in love with a woman who I haven't seen in a week. I feel Paige's hand slowly run up and down my arm.
"You haven't spoken to us for two days straight now, and even before that we hardly got a word, you were always running someplace." She looks at Paige, then back into my eyes.
"We haven't seen you like this since Cole." Paige says. Piper cups my cheek.
"What's wrong Phoebe?" Piper says with such sincerity, that I can't help but feel I can tell her anything, but I just sigh and turn my face into the pillow. My chest hitches with another sob. I can't tell them.
"Phoebe –" Paige says but I cut her off.
"I just can't tell you." I yell at them into the pillow. Piper hates Billie, I heard her say it myself. Paige is undecided. They wouldn't understand for those reasons, and the fact I'm in love with a girl. It doesn't matter to me, sure I've never even kissed a girl, but I'm irrevocably in love right now. And in the end she killed her own sister. In the end she didn't kill us.
"Phoebe, please. You know you can tell us anything, especially when it's leaving you like this." Piper pretty much begged, but it worked, and I gave in. What if they do understand? They can help, after all Paige is Billie's Whitelider. If they don't understand, it can't possibly get worse than it already is. They just wouldn't abandon me. I slowly turned onto my back and sat up. Paige was already sitting next to me and Piper sat down in front of me. They each took one of my hands.
"There's our girl." Paige said and lifted her free hands to wipe a stray tear. I took a deep breath.
"It was obvious." I said and took small breaths as another sob threatened its way out of my throat. Piper squeezed my hand and I could just imagine the quick, small looks they probably just exchanged. Paige rubbed my arm with her free hand. "Coop and a bunch of signs were pointing to one person, leading me in the right direction, but I mistook them… badly." I looked up, both of them looked confused.
"Did you ever notice how my visions of the far future came more frequently when Billie came into our lives." I didn't ask it as a question because I didn't want them to answer. "Those signs were pointing to Billie, and 7 days ago I ran headfirst into those signs. I fell madly in love with Billie Jenkins." They're reactions were slow to come but when they did they were opposite each other. Paige squeezed my hand reassuringly and Piper let go off the other hand completely and got off the bed.
"What?" She asked breathless. I put my head on Paige's shoulder, trying to control the racking sobs.
"After what she did, that's when you fall in love with her?" She didn't sound mad, just exasperated. After a couple of minutes she sat back down on the bed, letting out a loud sigh. I felt her hand rub comfortingly along my back. I tried to apologize in between my sobs, and I did with a horrible stutter.
"Shh." Paige whispered. "I wish you told us this earlier. Did you forget I'm her whitelighter?" I lifted my head to look at her, and there was a smile that goes from ear to ear on her face. My sobs slowed considerly from that smile, it looked so hopeful. Then she wrapped both arms around me in a tight hug. "Promise me you'll be at the house tonight and i'll promise to find Billie."
"Yes, the boys miss their aunt Phoebe." Piper said, and I put a arm around both of their necks for another hug.
"I promise." I said, the crying stopping all together and a smile appeared on my face. They got off the bed and Paige took Piper's hand, a second later gone.
I squealed like a little girl. Why didn't I ask Paige earlier? She can just sense where Billie is in that Whitlighter way! I got up and found something to eat.
Smiling the whole time.
Next Chapter: Finding Billie.