Corazon
Disclaimer: I don't own Black Cat.
A/N: OI, OH. LET'S GO!
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
The man I love.
Hah.
The man I love.
Haha.
That word's not strong enough to describe what I feel for him. And man isn't the right word to describe him.
Creed Diskence.
A man who wants to be god.
The man I crave.
Hmmm. No, sounds too animalistic.
The man I desire.
Too minimalist.
The man I cannot have.
Accurate, at least.
The man that makes up my whole damn world.
Alright, now it's getting stupid.
He's just lying there. On the bed. With his half-healed arm. The blast barely shook him. Well, I mean emotionally. My nerves are still rattled by the Time Guardians' display. But him? Hah.
Hah.
I breathe out, and breathe in. Ah.
He breathes out, and breathes in.
0000
The doctor says it's impossible, that he healed so quickly. But to me it's only right. He's Creed, for the love of everything worth loving. Of course he wouldn't let an injury stand in the way of world domination.
000
For some inexplicable reason, I find myself giving him a sponge bath.
Oh, right. He doesn't trust the nurses. Guess the reason's not so inexplicable after all.
I feel wanted.
And stupid. He's sitting in a tub, naked, with his knees drawn up to his chest, with his head tucked to his knees, and I'm squatting behind him, mopping him up.
But I feel so damn good.
"Train," he whispers.
The fall from cloud nine to the depths of hell is a very, very long one.
000
"My sword. Where the hell is my sword?" he asks, for the tenth time.
"It's in your scabbard," I tell him, also for the tenth time.
He's nervous.
He looks like a million bucks, but he's nervous.
The plan is to lure Train's new partner here, and thus Train himself. I'm not too happy about this. But then, nothing to do with Train makes me happy.
Unfortunately, the Black Cat seems to be the only thing that keeps Creed happy.
Funny old thing, this world is. Makes me want to kick it.
"Right," he pats his sword reassuringly, as though trying to tell it that everything will be alright. Coincidentally, that's the very same thing I want to tell him. But I can't. Because he's the boss. The temperamental, ambitious, homicidal boss that might just take my life for such an act of familiarity.
Besides. I don't know that everything will be alright.
000
"Echidna?"
"Yes, Creed?"
"Do you think there's at all a chance of Train joining forces with me?"
"No."
I didn't mean to say the truth.
"I see."
I don't think he meant to hear it, either.
"Good night, Echidna."
"Good night, Creed."
Maybe that's why I still have my head.
Yes, that must be it.
000
He's doing it again.
Yelling.
Yelling to the sky about Train.
I don't know what he's thinking. And that scares me a little bit.
I watch from the inside.
And think poisonous thoughts about the Black Cat.
000
The high road.
I'm going to take the high road.
When I see the Black Cat again, I will not say a word. I will not think anything. He's just an enemy who happens to be the man my boss is in love with. And I'm in love with my boss. It happens.
I will not think ill thoughts about this man whom my boss loves because I have no ill will towards him.
It's not his fault Creed has such miserable taste in men.
000
"Creed, you're an idiot."
So much for the high road.
"What?"
"An absolute idiot."
So much for the road that keeps me alive, even.
"Echidna?"
"Can't you see that the Black Cat has no interest in joining you? He doesn't care! He doesn't love—please, Creed, let it go! Let's just take over without him. Please. Please. Please."
From name-calling to begging in a record time.
Excellent.
000
"You shouldn't have said that."
"I know."
The doctor takes a long, hard look at me. "You really shouldn't have said that."
"I know."
"He wants to get rid of everyone useless."
My heartbeat quickens.
"You might be on the list, Echidna. The out-going one."
"My power—"
"Failed to kill a weak scientist. And you had the ape with you."
"I'm not expendable—"
"You were. But your stock fell. Way down."
The bastard. The crazy bastard. The crazy, lovelorn bastard.
000
It's the middle of the night.
No one should be awake.
So what's Creed Diskence doing in my bed, squatting casually on his haunches and studying me in a disturbingly contemplative way?
"The doctor says you're in love with me."
That bastard. That was the bastard I should've been cursing.
I glance around frantically for something that my eyes can look at without combusting. Unfortunately, pathetically, unreasonably, Creed seems to be taking up my whole vision.
"It's true?"
I don't want to say anything. I really don't. But of course I do.
"It doesn't matter. You love Train."
"Yes," he says, "It doesn't matter. I just feel sorry for you."
Oh, come on. Isn't he supposed to say something like, what? Love Train! Me? Whatever gave you that idea!? Now let's go disabuse you of it while I ravish you senseless!
If this sounds far fetched, you should hear some of the other things I'd like him to say.
"Hmmm," I tell him.
"I mean," he continues, unfazed by the demolition of my heart, "That's just awful. To be in love with someone you don't even stand a chance with. And I'm not saying that like you're unattractive, so you don't stand a chance. You'd still stand some chance. But you have no chance at all because you're not my type in the most complete way you can not be my type."
The man's insane.
But it's all a part of the man I love.
Crave/desire/cannot have, yes, whatever.
"You really there's no chance for Train to join me?"
He sounds so wistful. Damn it. I have to lie.
"A snowball's chance in hell."
What, is there a truth switch on me somewhere? Who keeps turning the damn thing on?
"Hmm."
Oh, is there anything more depressing than hearing the one you love say hmm in that small, forlorn voice?
Yes. It's my voice when I comfort him.
"Creed, don't worry. It's still a chance."
"Yeah."
"Yeah."
And then he puts his head against my stomach, and falls asleep, just like that.
Definitely dotty.
But what I can't tell is, me or him?
000
He wakes up on my stomach. And its not enough that he wakes up, he wants company, so he wakes me up.
"I'll kill him," he says.
"The sun?" I reply groggily, because that's what I want to kill right now. Wide beams of golden happiness are shining on me, and I'll have none of that. I'm too old for irony, damn it. I'm too old to be in love with a gay man and appreciate the small things in life.
"Train. If he won't join me, seriously. What else can I do? How can I let him leave me?"
"The same way I'm letting you go."
He looks at me. His eyes are sleep-crusted, his lips are sticking together slightly. His hair's a mess, and he certainly doesn't look like a prize. So why does he look so earth-shatteringly beautiful?
It's the sun.
"You're in this pain?" he asks in disbelief, "You know what it's like, to not be able to hold someone you love?"
I don't have anything to say. I just wait for the telepathic message screaming you idiot to hit him in the forehead.
It does.
"Right," he nods, and looks away.
"Creed?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are you here? Why are you paying attention to me?"
"I like you. Sure, not the way you want me to, but that's the way the cookie gets pulverized. You're my favorite among all the people who're helping me and I don't need you hating me."
"I want to eat the cookie," I say randomly.
"I want pie."
It worries me that he's making sense.
000
I wasn't on the list. I get to stay. I'm not fired.
I almost want to celebrate.
But I figure its just another way of the world to let me know it loves to watch me suffer.
Because let's face it. Creed's gonna think of more Black Cat related plans. And I'll be asked to execute them. And the high road will be forgotten as I try my damnedest to kill something as I do.
My lot in life.
It totally sucks.
x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x.x
A bit of a weak ending, in my opinion. Maybe I'll change it later. But I like it, for the most part, though Echidna seems a little…off.
Concrit needed.