Secrets In The Closet
RarusuTLS
Cargan fic One-shot (with a smidgen of Kames)
Author's Note: So here it is Ladies & Gentlemen! My first Cargan & Kames. Please read and review!
Carlos laid in his bed "asleep" like Logan usually found him on Saturday mornings. Trouble was, Carlos was never actually asleep, and Carlos found it odd that Logan never figured this out. Anyways, Carlos never got up Saturday mornings because he wanted to feel Logan rub his arm slowly, whispering his name, 'Carlos...' then he would still his hand and say firmer, "Carlos." then he would finally shake Carlos enough to "wake" him shouting , "CARLOS!", exactly as this morning went.
Carlos shot up and murmured "I'm awake." Logan sighed and said something about breakfast that Carlos didn't catch. He sighed. Sometimes, he'd try so hard to get Logan to notice why. Why Carlos came out to Logan first. Why he went to Logan for all his troubles. Why he jumped into Logan's arms whenever scared. Why he would whimper Logan's name whenever he had a nightmare. And they call Logan the smart one. Well he may be smart, but he is dense as morning fog!
Logan watches from the couch as Carlos stumbles slowly out to the kitchen, presumably to make his breakfast. Carlos is walking abnormally slow, but he can't pinpoint why.
As if breakfast magically cleared up whatever was bothering him, Carlos flounders around the room happily, seemingly ignoring those around him. He realizes the time (and that he was the only one not dressed) so he made a mad dash to his and Logan's shared room, and ran into the walk-in closet.
Carlos' side of the closet, unfortunately was very messy. Therefore, Carlos failed to notice Logan walk into their room. "Carlos! Where are you? It's almost time to go." Logan said loudly.
"I'm in the closet, Logie!" Carlos replied, Logan's nickname slipping out like butter.
"No you aren't!" Logan replied humorously.
Carlos joking replied, "Ha ha, very funny Logie! You're just jealous 'cause I'm out and you're not!" However when Carlos came out of the closet (literally), he noticed the hard, scared face Logan was showing. "Logie-" Carlos began, but it was too late. Logan ran like he was on fire.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Logan stood in Fairday Park [A/N: I made this place up], almost on the opposite side of LA from the Palmwoods. Logan sat underneath a weeping willow, said to be the only one in LA but Logan never cared enough to check. Logan loved weeping willow trees because because, like him, they never seemed to "perk up" as Carlos always told him to.
Now, as he laid here, Logan thought of Carlos. For the longest time, or rather since the four of them met, Carlos was the one he attached himself to the most. He didn't really know it at the time, but he was attracted to Carlos from the beginning, although Logan would never admit it, not even to Kendall (the most trusting of the other three). Hell, he never told any of them he was gay! But Carlos probably knows by now.
Carlos isn't dumb or dull at all. In fact, he was probably the smartest of them all. Sure Logan was smart academically, but Carlos was fearless. Not in the stupid way, like most think, but he just didn't care what everyone else thought of him. He could let himself go and just be Carlos.
It was truly something all of them could learn from him. James would put down the products and be just James, not The Face. Kendall could learn to care about himself first. Logan would stop caring about others, especially his parents, he would belt out notes freely, and love Carlos in front of the whole world. But alas, we can't all be as carefree as Carlos.
Logan sighed. He finally noticed the sun was in the middle of the sky, signaling it was time to leave. He slowly trudged to the front of the Palmwoods, finding Kelly about to storm into the place. "I'm sorry Kelly, it's probably my fault. I kind of left earlier today."
Kelly stood there, soaking in his words before saying, "Oh okay, Logan I guess I can get the story later. I suppose this means you want me to go get the boys then?"
"Well yea, but I'm going to walk to the studio anyways. I'll see you guys there." Logan replied, and off he went, down the street.
Kelly sighed, but that didn't stop her from gathering the rest of the boys. She entered the elevator, pressing the second floor, like every other day. However, when she entered apartment 2J, she found a very different sight.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
"What!" Kendall asked/screamed at Carlos. "What do you mean he just ran out of here?"
"I- I didn't mean to he- he was joking, and I was j-joking and then he ran a-and he j-just ran!" Carlos stuttered.
"Kendall, please calm down. You know that whatever happened, it wasn't Carlos' fault. If anything, Logan was just scared or surprised and wanted to clear his head. He'll be fine." James soothed. It would be an understatement to say James had a big heart, and his heart also seemed to be quite contagious.
"Yea, I'm sorry Carlos. I hope you're right James." Kendall replied, patting Carlos on the back.
Kelly cleared her throat, announcing herself to the boys. "Um, Logan is walking to Rocque Records, so... Shall we go now?" Kelly asked.
Carlos suddenly turned frozen, where as Kendall and James seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. "Um, can I stay here? I don't feel so good." Carlos said. He really didn't look too good either, but that went unnoticed by Kelly.
"No, Carlos. Gustavo needs you guys to record the newest song." Kelly replies forcefully. Had Mrs. Knight been here, she may have not been alone in this fight.
After a bit of fighting Carlos some more, she finally convinced the boys to head to Rocque Records.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Logan walked along the final street left before arriving at Rocque Records with a mind full of worry. 'Carlos knows!' he repeats in his head over and over again, digging himself deeper in his worry. Fortunately, he arrived before anyone else, so he didn't have to deal with Carlos, yet, he added as an afterthought.
As he entered the studio, an ill feeling, one he couldn't place, fell over him. He stumbled a bit, before ultimately falling to his knees and barfing on the studio floor. He collapsed.
Although he was barely conscious, he swore he heard Kelly, and perhaps James, fussing over him, before passing out altogether.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Logan awoke on the couch in the studio, an ice pack held to his head, and a certain Latino sitting next to him, holding said ice pack. However, Carlos didn't notice that he was awake, so he stayed there, murmuring sweet things like 'Don't worry Logie, everything will be okay.' and 'No one knows Logie. You don't have to fret. I won't tell no one.' Although at that time Logan murmured. "It's anybody."
Carlos was startled but smiled. "Hey Logie. Glad to see you're awake."
"Yea I'm fine Carlos I promise." Logan reassured. When he looked to Carlos, he noticed a look of pain on his face. "What's wrong, Carlos?"
"W-what do you mean L-Logie?" Carlos replied, although his uneasiness was obvious.
Logan looked long and hard at Carlos. He simply shook his head. "Nothin' I guess. Do you think they'll yell at me if I stay here a little longer?" Carlos shook his head. "M'kay. I'll be okay Carlos, go join the others." Logan smiled softly and turned over. Carlos sighed and stood. He turned away before whispering something not caught by Logan.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Carlos closed the office door behind him and sighed. He slouched down into the chair next to Gustavo. It may sound odd, but this wasn't actually Gustavo. This was his little niece (she's six). Her name however, was Rocquel (pronunciation: Rock-ell) Gustavo Rocque. Talk about one hell of a name to inherit! Anyways, while James and Kendall recorded their verse (it was a duet kind of song) and Logan was out, Carlos was asked to babysit Rocquel.
"So Rocquel, what did you draw me?" Carlos asked. She smiled up to him and showed her little drawing of a two fishes kissing (you know, like fish do). One said 'Logie' over it, the other said 'Carlitos'.
"You told me all those stories about Logie, and I really liked the one about how when you were my age, you kissed him when his fishy died, so I drew this!" Rocquel spoke happily. Carlos smiled and ran up to her and gave her a big hug.
"Oh it's wonderful, Rocquel!" Carlos said.
She giggled, wiggling out of his grasp, "I'm gonna go show Logie!" she exclaimed, escaping out the door.
"Rocquel, wait!" Carlos yelled after her, but was no match for an energetic six-year-old.
She ran down the hall, quite fast for her age, and ran right up to the not-so-asleep Logan. "Logie! Logie! My name is Rocquel Gustavo Rocque and I wanted to show you the picture I drew of you and Carlitos!" Logan smiled at her energy, but it slowly crept away as he took in Rocquel's drawing. Who knew a six-year-old's drawing could have such an effect?
Carlos finally entered the area and exclaimed, "There you are Rocquel! D-did you..." But his question was lost as he took in Logan's sullen expression upon the little girls' drawing. "I'm sorry Logie. I just told her stories about our childhood- when we were her age- and she liked the fish one the most and-"
"Carlos, you're rambling. Listen, it's a child's drawing. It doesn't m-mean anything." Logan replied, but Carlos caught his stutter in the middle of his sentence. Logan was nervous.
"Logan, I wasn't upset about the drawing, I was afraid you'd be upset about the drawing. I already pushed you out of the closet, I don't wanna trip you now." Carlos tries, but Logan keeps his head down still. "Dammit Logan! I know you're upset or scared or- or- whatever! But would you look at me! Would you swallow your pride, your shame, your fear for one goddamn minute and look at me." Carlos now had tears rolling down his face.
Carlos takes a deep breath and wipes away his tears. "Come on, Rocquel. Let's leave Logan alone." Carlos says, ushering the little girl out of the room. Logan seemed hurt by the way Carlos spat his name. In truth, he was hurt. But not because Carlos was angry at him, but because he himself, had done these things to Carlos.
Logan sighed deeply, going over what just happened, only pulling the headache back to his head. "Dammit Carlos." Logan whispered before passing out once again.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Kendall shook Logan's shoulder roughly. "Hey sleepyhead!" he yelled. "It's time to go home!" but Logan stayed asleep. James then bent down and picked up Logan, slinging him over his back. Kendall smiled up at James, only for a moment, before following the taller boy to the limo. Carlos was far ahead of them, simply telling them he and Logan had a 'disagreement'.
Somewhere between the studio and the Palmwoods, Logan awoke. Carlos simply ignored him, while Kendall and James stared at him and Carlos concernedly. As the limo pulled up to the Palmwoods, Carlos was itching to get out of there. Logan, however, still felt sluggish, and barely registered where they were.
Carlos darted out of there as soon as the limo stopped. Kendall and James looked concernedly at Carlos before helping Logan out of the limo. "I'll be fine." Logan murmured, shooing the two boys off of him.
Kendall and James shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll be off then. See you later Logie." Kendall replied. As the two walked off, Logan noticed James wrapping his arm over Kendall's shoulders, causing the thought 'I wish Carlos and I could have that.' to pass through his mind, before he forcefully pushed it aside.
As Logan climbed the steps, one at a time, he chanted 'Please let Carlos be at the pool' numerous times in his head.
Alas, as he entered apartment 2J, all his hopes fell because Carlos stood in the kitchen, making supper. Their eyes met for only a moment, before Carlos returned to his cooking and Logan mumbled something about going to their room.
"Wait! Logie can we talk?" Carlos asked. He turned the oven on low and threw his apron over his head and to the side. Carlos ran over to Logan's side. "Please? You know I can't stay upset at you and I sure as hell I can't stand it when you're upset with me. Can we just- just work all this out?"
Logan smiled a soft smile, nodding Carlos into their shared room.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
"James, what if we were wrong?" Kendall asked, "What if Logan didn't really feel that way for Carlos? Or if Carlos already likes somebody? Of if-"
James interrupted Kendall, "Shh, Kendall. We won't know until later, but what's done is done. Asking 'what if?' will only worry you more, and you know I hate it when you worry." James answered. He pulled Kendall just a bit closer to him next to the fire pit. Looking into the fire was intense, but, to Kendall, it was nothing like looking into the fire in James' hazel eyes.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
"So, how shall I start this..." Logan says. "Carlos, I'm sorry about what I said to you, or how meaningless I made Rocquel's drawing. Maybe it does mean something, but I don't know and I'm scared, you know that Carlos! I- I'm sorry for being so cold towards you."
Carlos stares at Logan. "Listen, Logie. I should be the one apologizing. I shouldn't have been so upset with you over Rocquel's drawing. I was just so happy being around her and the silliness of her drawing, that I wanted to show it to you. It doesn't have to mean anything Logan." Carlos added as an afterthought, "You're always right, Logan."
At that, Logan snapped his head to Carlos, getting lost in his milk chocolate eyes only for a moment before saying, "But Carlos, sometimes I don't want to be right. Sometimes I want to be wrong. Sometimes I want to step down and give-in to someone else." Logan blushes, realizing what he's saying. But as he turns his head away, he feels Carlos' hand come up to his chin and pull his head to Carlos' own.
Their lips met softly, shortly, before Carlos pulled away, apologizing. "I'm sorry, Logan. I just- I didn't- I mean-"
Logan smiled before pulling Carlos back to him. "Shh Carlos. I get it. I like you too." The two settled softly on the bed, still holding each other closely. Unknown to them, the fell asleep together, as content and warm as needed.
~Person/Place/Time Change~
Kendall awoke, untangling limbs from James'. "Hey, Pretty, wake up. I smell old-fashioned Carlos breakfast and you know he only cooks when he's happy!" After a shake to his shoulder... and maybe a little shove off the bed, James gathered Kendall in his arms and carried him to the kitchen, accompanied by the protests of said blonde.
Carlos stood in the kitchen in an apron and pajama pants as the two walked into the kitchen. "What'cha cookin' me Carlos?" Kendall asked playfully after being sat down by James, whom scooted his chair as close as possible to Kendall, as usual.
Logan came in next and smiled at James and Kendall before coming up behind Carlos and hugging him closely. "I love you." Logan whispered into Carlos' ear. He placed a kiss on Carlos' cheek before settling at the table with the other two, blushing at their all-knowing stares.
~End~
A/N: Lame place to end I know! AND I know it was rushed. Probably made Carlos somewhat bi-polar or something and YES I am VERY pessimistic but aren't we all and OKAY I will stop rambling. Hope someone likes this! Sorry it took me forever! Please Read and review!
~Love & Fluff, RarusuTLS