Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VII, I only wish
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Eternities End
Cloud's POV
I crawl through the dark, it consumes me the thoughts of suicide rest heavy on my conscious. But I cannot for if I do he still will not return to his normal state, he will still be living, attempting to destroy anything and everything. I thought I was the only one who could save him but the more I thought about it the more I realized it was my own fault I could have saved him all those many years ago. Before he started killing, before he found his "mother", but I did nothing, only made matters worse. Even through the pain and heartbreak I still loved…Love him. It all seems like a reoccurring dream. But I cant even escape into my dreams, for he lives there too.
"Cloud" I hear Tifa try to wake me from my half sleep like state. "Cloud, get up now, we have to get moving. Sephiroth isn't gunna kill himself you know."
I move slightly, sitting up, grunting my good morning as a way to keep from breaking down over hearing his name. I dare not reply for fear I might regret it. No one must know how much he captivates me, they may not trust my judgment if they knew the truth. But for how long can I keep it secret? How long can I keep this lie? Those questions haunt me every day of my miserable life.
I reluctantly get up, throw on some clothes and grab my sword, walk out of the inn to find my "friends" waiting for me.
"Finally, now we can get out of this shit hole" Cid sighed. Again I make no attempt to reply, for I am still trying to compose myself.
Climbing into the Highwind we take off with an uneasy silence enveloping everyone, even Yuffie makes no attempt to talk.
It seems like just yesterday he was smiling and laughing with me. Just us, with no distractions, no heart break, no pain, just happiness. But our world was fading with the increasing missions and visits to Hojo. That one last mission tearing us apart forever. What was in those books? I didn't have the courage to look. I should have known his past would catch up with him. But I wouldn't have expected him to go mad. To murder thousands, for some unknown purpose. What did this to him?
Reality pulls me back into the present with the realization that I'm on my way to kill my lover. Yes, I still consider him my lover, for its not really him. The closer we get the more anxious I become, each mile tearing a hole in my already torn heart . I feel myself faltering, I don't feel like I have the strength to continue. What's one life, for billions? But that one life belongs to me. Or at least did. Shouldn't this be easy? Killing one evil soul for the benefit of all else?
Suddenly the air ship comes to a halt, I only now realize I've been crying. Wiping the tears from my face, I turn to the others hoping they have not seen the tears for our enemy. But luck was not my side.
Everyone, except Tifa was staring at me with both concern and confusion written on their countenances. The hush broken by my silent tears.
Cid was the first to speak, "What's with the tears?"
Yuffie took the initiative and shut Cid up by saying, "Don't worry Cloud, very soon we'll avenge Aeris's death." She smiled brightly in hopes to cheer me up, no such luck.
"I…ya… soon we will." I couldn't bring myself to say any else, since I know they wouldn't trust me if I did. But truth be told Aeris was the last thing on my mind right now, everyone got the wrong impression about us, we were only good friends. "Let's mossy." I said after a long silence. I guess everyone believed me, Yuffie was simple enough to believe anything, Cid didn't rightly care, I couldn't help but to think Vincent saw through my pathetic rouse though. He was always the one to look farther than the outside appearance.
We walked slowly as if to sneak up on Sephiroth, although I knew he knew we were here. Everything was back to normal, Yuffie was chatting away, Tifa was talking about the "bastard" we were off to kill, Cid was complaining about Yuffie's incessant talking, Barrett was joining in the talk with Tifa, and Vincent was being apathetic as usual although he looked at me more skeptically. Once more I was feeling as though we should head back and pretend this never happened. But if we were to do so I'd never see "my" Sephiroth again, although I'm not quite sure I'll see him anyways.
Anyone who's ever seen Northern Crater would agree that it was very small and not worth the trip. To me it seemed immensely huge, hundreds of thousands of miles, each step only taking a few inches.
The entrance to the cave was closing fast as if it itself was moving closer to taunt me. Taking in a shaky breath I walked into the dark nothingness, knowing his and my fate was sealed.
I felt myself falling, people screaming my name. The blackness around me seemed to take on a life of its own, taking me to an unknown specter. I knew where though, I always knew. A light appeared in front of me, inching closer, a lone figure stood in the center. Elegant silver hair flowed in nonexistent wind, a sword glistened in the light.
"My puppet." The figure smiled, though kindness was not held within, only bitter resentment.
There he was, right in front of me. The bane of my existence. I pulled out my sword and prepared for the battle to come. It took all I had to fight him, forcing myself to harm my one true love. The tears stung, but I bit then back, I couldn't let him see how much this hurt. Our swords clashed and my heart broke. "You cannot win!" I forced myself to yell at him, forced the hatred that was never there.
For what seemed like hours we continued our death dance. Neither of us wanting to lose, but I could tell, he couldn't continue for much longer. We both were growing tired, both slowly bleeding to death. With the last of my strength I plunged my sword deep inside his stomach.
A look of shock appeared on his face. "How..?" He could barely speak. Dropping his sword, he began to fall forward.
"Sephiroth!" I yelled and ran toward him. For some reason I felt as though I could save him. I caught him in my arms. Tears fell, I didn't bother to try and stop them. I had my love back, my soul, my protector.
He coughed up blood, "Don't… cry…" Lifting a hand, he tried to wipe the tears away, but his hand fell.
I whispered his name and cried harder. "Please, don't die!" I brought his hand up to rest on my face. Kissing it once, I looked down at him. A genuine smile spread across his face.
"I…love…you…" His eyes became dull and his hand fell.
"No! Please! I need you!" I pleaded to his limp body, even though he couldn't hear me. "Don't…" I kissed his lips, one last time. So cold. Darkness claimed me.
"Cloud!… Cloud!" I heard someone call me. "Cloud!"
I came to, looking around I saw Tifa, Yuffie, Barrett, and Cid huddled around me. I must have been a sight. Blood everywhere, tear stains on my face. Tifa tried to help me up, but I shook her off. She looked at me confused. I got up and pulled my sword out of my lover, I then walked over to his sword. Picking it up as well I attached them both to my back.
"Can we go yet, the ass hole's already dead. No use stayin' here" Cid chimed in, looking at me strangely.
I looked at him in pure sorrow and walked over to Sephiroth. Leaning down I picked him up. He seemed so lite, so fragile. I received looks of shock, confusion, and disbelief. I walked away before anyone had a chance to comment.
I did it, I saved the planet. But then why? Why don't I feel happy. I killed my life, my world, and I suppose, my sanity.
Upon reaching the Highwind, I turned to Cid. "Take me to the city of the Ancients." I said no more and walked inside, leaving him to fume about how I can't tell him what to do. However I know he'll take me there. Once inside I sat on the floor by where Cid was flying the airship. I still had Sephiroth in my arms.
Tifa looked over at me and asked with resentment, "Why are you holding him! He was the one who killed Aeris! You should just toss him off the deck!"
The thought of doing so made my broken heart bleed. "You want to know why!?" I snapped at her, I just couldn't deal with it any more. " Because I love him! I always have! Through all of this little adventure, since I joined SOLDIER. The whole fucking time! But you were too dense to see that! You could only see your petty revenge!"
Everyone stopped, in my rage I had just told everyone I was in love. With the enemy. Vincent gave me a knowing nod, he had always known.
I got up and left the room. No one came after me. Noticing the airship stop I fled, into the ancient forest. Giving the Highwind one final glance, I walked to the pool I had put Aeris in.
I set Sephiroth in the water. "I will always love you." I let him go, watching him sink to the bottom. After his body settled and the water around me, I realized that I wasn't going to leave. I couldn't go on, pretending I was fine. The only reason for me to live was gone, so I'm gone too. The pain will stop and life will go on around me, no one will even notice. Without Sephiroth I can not, will not go on.
The forest around me was on fire. A fitting end for me, to die in fire as my lover in water.
Tifa's POV
I can't understand why he would love such a man. A man? I never thought of Cloud in that way. I always figured he was playing hard to get, not truly ignoring my advances. Maybe, hoping I'd make a move. But this, I did not expect. I decide to go for a little walk, to clear my head, while waiting for Cloud to come back. I'd apologize and everything would be set right. I reached the door to the deck, only to find a piece of paper attached to it. It was written in Cloud's handwriting.
The difference between them
Is a hazy mix,
Of the subtle, and the outright
Where blue meets green
Gold clashes with silver
And depression slips into insanity
The difference between their relationship
As enemies, or as lovers
As subtle as the difference between
Blue and green
As outright as the difference between
One burns
While the other drowns
Since they can find no other way,
Better to be together in death
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Yay!! I finally finished... this took forever. But it was a labor of love. The lovely poem/ suicide note was written by Halo ShinRa. Once again thanks for letting me use it! Please R&R. I love reviews!!