The Doctor Shakes His Asteroid by Emachinescat
A Doctor Who and Phineas and Ferb Crossover Fan-Fiction
SUMMARY: The Doctor and Rose take a side-trip to an intergalactic milkshake bar, and upon arrival, they discover that the place has changed ownership since the last time the Doctor had visited. "Hey, aren't they a little young to own a milkshake bar in deep space?"
A/N: This takes place during the episode "Out to Launch" in P&F and sometime between "Tooth and Claw" and "School Reunion" in DW.. Just a bit of fun as I attempt to bring together two of the greatest shows EVER! Enjoy, and please review! :)
The Doctor Shakes His Asteroid
Part One
"Here we are!" crowed the Doctor, grinning madly as he swung open the TARDIS doors and stepped out onto the rocky ground. "The Shooting Star Milkshake Bar, one of the oldest – and filthiest – earth-diner inspired galactic ice-cream shops in the universe!" he spread his arms in a grand gesture, his long overcoat flapping as he did so. "Whaddya think?"
Rose followed him out of the TARDS, eyebrows raised, obviously not too impressed. She noted the bland ground, dark sky, and pink-flowery rocket parked next to them. "It's… nice."
"Nice? Nice? No, it's not nice at all, in fact, the music's horrible, the patrons are boring, the milkshakes are horrid, and the atmosphere, although physically nearly identical to Earth's, is quite dull."
"That's my point!" Rose agreed, rolling her brown eyes. "I mean, we just finished getting knighted and banished by Queen Victoria, who wasn't amused, thank you very much, and now we're visiting a shady ol' space bar in the year…?" She raised an eyebrow questioningly.
The Doctor licked his finger and held it up, considering. "Early twenty-first century, definitely." He ran the same finger across the dusty rock ground and licked it. "Blech!" he complained at the taste, and Rose wrinkled her nose. "Yep, definitely early twenty-first. 2009. Yuck, not my favorite year. Now, 3009, that was a good year! That's when… well, suffice it to say I'm not allowed to talk about that year or time could collapse… well, would collapse. Definitely. Still, brilliant year."
Rose blinked, quite used to his mad rambling by now, and the Doctor didn't elaborate. He stuck his hands in his pinstripe suit pockets and rocked back and forth cheerily on his heels. "Anyway, Doctor, if it's such a beat-up, run-down place, why're you taking me here?"
"Didn't I tell you? Everything else is, well, blech, but they've got great coffee. Granted, it doubles as rocket fuel, but all the same, yum! And they've got little tea cakes shaped like bananas! Bananas, Rose!"
"Well, that changes everything!" Rose grinned, taking the Doctor's hand and steering him toward the neon-sign-lit entrance. "Come on!"
As they moved in closer to the building, the two travelers saw that a line had formed at the front doors and a buff, extraterrestrial security guard was busy keeping other aliens behind a thick, velvet rope. Lights flashed from inside and muffled music emanated from the milkshake bar. Rose glanced sidelong at the Doctor as they picked their way to the front of the line. "If this place is such a dump, why are there so many people… er… aliens… here?" she asked, and the Doctor shrugged.
"Last time I was here, the only customers were me, a Rexicorifalibitorian named Ted, and a couple other blokes. Now it's party-central, apparently. Wonder what happened?"
"Change of ownership," supplied the security guard, who had overheard their conversation. "This 'star' was bought by a couple of earthlings earlier today, and they've already shown up and started major renovations. Even going to change the name of the joint and everything. It's rockin' now!"
"Really?" the Doctor asked curiously. "Earthlings… but humans don't make it past the moon for years. You sure they're from Earth?"
The guard rolled his eyes – all five of them – and scoffed. "Listen, pal, if you're not on the list, you're gonna have to leave." He cracked his knuckles to emphasize his point.
"Ah," said the Doctor, reaching into his coat and pulling out the psychic paper. "I've got an invitation, special from management, right here. I'm here to inspect the new renovations and this is Rose, the… milkshake tester."
Rose wiggled her fingers at the guard. "Hullo."
"Well, everything seems to be in order; so sorry for the inconvenience, Mr. Smith," the security guard said, his eyes scanning the blank paper. "Come on in."
As the Doctor and Rose were ushered past the velvet rope and into the milkshake bar, they heard an alien further back in line insist, "I'm a taste-tester too!"
The guard spat back sarcastically, "Thought you were the owners' sister?"
"Yeah, that too!"
"Oh, cannit… you're not getting in and that's final."
The Doctor and Rose entered the Shooting Star Milkshake Bar to find that it was, indeed, "rocking". The whole place was bursting with music, dancing, and milkshakes. Rose noted with amusement that the Doctor looked flabbergasted, which was new for the Time Lord who always seemed to know what was going on.
The song was catchy, and dozens of aliens on the dance floor and at the bar and tables sang along.
"Yeah! There's a jumping little rock in the outer spiral arm, may not be pretty but it's got a lotta charm! It's the shooting star milkshake bar, yeah! It's not a nebula, it's not a quasar, it's the shooting star milkshake bar! At the speed of light, you know you're never too far from the meatiest meteor that you'll ever find in this big ol' galactic void… You've gotta shake, shake, shake, shake your asteroid! Shake, shake, shake…"
"Doctor." Rose nudged him in the side, pointing to the middle of the restaurant where two kids – two humanoid kids – were standing on top of the bar, dancing along with the aliens, singing, and mixing shakes. "Those aren't the owners, are they?"
"Only one way to find out," the Doctor beamed as he led Rose through the crowd. The song over, the customers dispersed to their respective seats, talking excitedly as they did so.
They made it to the middle of the milkshake bar right as the two boys – they couldn't be more than ten or eleven – were talking to an older girl, also appearing to be human. "This is our star, Candace!" the shorter, red-haired kid announced. "We decided to fix it up a bit. Pride in ownership, you know."
The red-haired teenager opened her mouth to respond, but was cut off as the Doctor and Rose approached. "Hullo," the Doctor grinned. "I'd heard there were some new owners of this place and decided to have a peek. Haven't been here in years. You've certainly livened the place up! Not that it could've been less lively, considering the last owner had been dead for fifteen years. His consciousness was stuck on a continuous loop in the Bluetooth-based exoskeleton. Nice chap, not exactly the life of the party, though. Oooh. Bad pun."
Rose stuck her tongue out from the corner of her mouth, grinning at the Time Lord's digression. She had a feeling that whatever he was talking about was way over the heads of a couple of human children.
To her complete astonishment, the red-haired kid replied, "But if his exoskeleton was based on Bluetooth tech, and he was looping, wouldn't he just do the same thing over and over?"
The Doctor raised his eyebrows, obviously impressed that these kids had even understood a word of what he'd just said. "'Course, you're absolutely right," he admitted, "but he told great stories. The same one every forty-two point seven minutes. Could set your watch by him."
"Uh… excuse me," the teenage girl snapped impatiently. "Who exactly are you, anyway?" She rounded on the red-haired kid and his companion, who had green hair. "And what are we still doing here? We've got to get back in time for the dance!"
"Ooooh, a dance!" the Doctor said excitedly. "I love dances; I'm rubbish at the Macarena, though. Sorry, I'm the Doctor. And this is Rose. Say hi, Rose."
Rose smiled cheekily. "Hi, Rose!" she repeated.
"I'm Phineas, and this is Ferb," said the ginger boy. "And this is Candace."
"So you really own this place? How'd that happen? Matter of fact…" The Doctor whipped out his sonic screwdriver and began to scan the boys, whose eyes widened at the contraption. "…yep, definitely human. But… humans don't reach this far for decades. How did you get here?"
Phineas and Ferb were still eying the sonic dreamily, but Phineas managed to tear his mind away from the device long enough to explain, "In our rocket. Well, Candace's rocket. She got over-excited and took ours instead. Then she lost it, but that's okay, because we had hers! It's always great to have two ships, just in case one gets pummeled by asteroids, don't ya think?"
The Doctor frowned. "Where'd you get a rocket from, anyway? Technology that advanced isn't supposed to be around for… well, a long time."
"We built it."
The Doctor and Rose both stared, astonished, at the two boys that stood before them. They blinked up innocently. "You built a rocket?" Rose echoed. She chuckled. "They're cute, aren't they, Doctor?"
"No, it's not cute," Candace interrupted. "It's annoying. They do stuff like this all the time. Elevators to the moon, roller coasters in the backyard, a backyard beach..."
"There's no way these kids did all that, right, Doctor? I mean, no one's got this kind of technology, 'specially not a bunch of kids."
The Doctor was smiling so wide that Rose was afraid he'd split his face in two. "Oh, you boys, you clever, clever boys!" he crowed. "You're brilliant, you are! Humans at their best. See, Rose, if the human race would stop looking toward all those high and mighty people in authority, maybe they'd come to realize that some of the best minds are right in their own backyard!"
"Well, we do start every day's activity in the backyard," Phineas supplied helpfully.
"Brilliant!"
"I don't believe this," Candace muttered, and stormed off across the bar and plopped down in an empty chair beside a two-faced green alien.
Rose smiled at Phineas and Ferb before following the other girl. It was obvious that something was bothering her and even though this wasn't the normal sort of trouble they encountered on their adventures, Rose just didn't feel right about leaving without helping someone out, even if it was nothing more than helping an over-dramatic fifteen-year-old with boy trouble.
Besides, with the Doctor gabbing away with his two new friends about sonic screwdrivers and rockets and nanobots and who knows what else, they'd probably be there for a while.
A/N: So there's the first bit. Next, we'll have Phineas and Ferb's POV! This is just going to be a two-part story, and the next part should be posted within the next couple of days. If I don't post it by the end of the week, message me, or even have Doof zap me with a Write-faster-inator! :) Hope you enjoyed, please review because your feedback is going to help me finish the fic well! Oh, and if you're a fan of awesome P&F fan-fiction, check out my little sister's first fan-fic, "Moments Like These." Her username is HeroWhiskers4427, so check out her story, it's great! :) Please read and review and I'll update ASAP! XD
~Emachinescat ^..^