Crack 1: Rise of the Mega Crab
On arriving at the Worlds End, Sora could tell that there was something special about this world. Something that wasn't just pirate booty. He saw crabs carry a ship across dry land. How strange that was.
Tia Dalma whispered in his ear. "I know what you want. Free me and I'll give you the power of the seas."
Sora liked this plan. Before he could put his magic key into her keyhole tragedy struck. Sora was washed ashore with Jack Sparrow so he never got the booty. When they got back to Port Royal Jack turned into Crabs. This was what the power of the sea was. Sora knew he could use the power of crabs to make a body.
A dark corridor opened behind Sora. Glancing back cautiously to see a tall figure robed in black. Sora back-stepped almost immediately as the figure emerged from the abyss. Keyblade in hand he readied himself only to find the figure cowering before him.
"Wait, wait!" he exclaimed whimpishly. "Stop! It's me."
The figure pulled back his hood slowly as if at half the frame rate as normal, to reveal a familiar hair style which was awfully pointy.
"Hey, I know", Sora uttered. "I'd recognise that terrible hair anywhere."
"My hair isn't as bad as yours. Besides, mines pointier than yours", said the boy.
Sonic the hedgehog jumped out of Sora's phone. "Fuck you", he said as he spontaneously combusted because he doesn't belong in this universe. Sora decided to dye his hair blue. Don't know where he got that idea...
Meanwhile Roxas walked sideways to a pirate and used his pincer hands to cut his dick off. It seemed like a good idea at the time. The pirate screamed in a high pitched voice and chased them with his pistol and cutlass. Donald used Flare. It was not very effective.
"Don't worry. I got this!" yelled Sora. Sora used the power of crabs to summon Mega Crab. Xehanort who watched from far away wet himself.
"I will defeat you with Mega Crab!" exclaimed Sora.
What Sora didn't know is that there was someone else aside from them. Xigbar from a distance called out to Sora. "Hey Sora, I got something you might need."
Xigbar walked out holding a mysterious box. Sora and Mega Crab looked at him and said, "We are kinda busy here".
"Oh but just you wait", Xigbar said, smiling. He opened the box slowly, only for a torrent of crabs to come flying out. The crabs bonded to Mega Crab to become Crab Jesus.
"It's over now", said Crab Jesus, swinging its divine claw at his foe, killing instantly.
The day was finally saved and Crab Jesus went home with Sora, happy. The End.