Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter

This one was written with my friend Emma Hartley who has a very weird imagination. It's a one chapter only.

Harry climbed the stairs, hoping for another 'chance' meeting with Cho Chang. They just 'happened' to meet in odd places a lot these days, the letter that he was using as an excuse to visit the Owlrey was screwed in his fist. Meet Cho Chang and annoy his aunt and uncle at the same time. Ideal.

As he made his way to the top of the Owlrey, Harry felt his heart start to pound and sweat break out on his forehead. His heart stopped as he spotted Cho Chang sat stroking Hedwig; she stopped abruptly as she saw Harry and Hedwig took flight to rest in the rafters.

"It's okay I," Harry came further into the Owlrey, "I was just sending-" The world tilted suddenly as Harry slipped on the dirty floor, sending him tumbling back down the tower to land in a heap at the bottom. He heard harsh laughter from above, which was quickly stifled and Harry clambered to his feet, brushing off most of the filth he had accumulated. With a sigh, Harry started back up the stairs, finally reaching the top where Cho was leaning out of a window.

"Sorry Cho, I was just-"

"Er, Harry. You've got some…" Cho prodded her nose meaningfully and Harry blushed, scrubbing at his face with his sleeve.

"And er…" She pointed to her forehead.

"Oh, right." Harry rubbed his face with his robes and shuffled his feet, clearly embarrassed to have fallen down a flight of stairs and be covered in owl crap in front of Cho.

"Has Hedwig flown…" Harry gestured towards the rafters and ducked as a missile was thrown at him.

"What the…" Harry looked round to see a biro embedded in the wall. Glaring up at the mass of birds, Harry spotted Hedwig… and the massive pile of biros next to her. "Oh shi-" Harry ducked as the next biros flew towards him and bounded off the wall. Hearing a manic laughter, Harry looked to his left and was surprised to see Pig bouncing up and down, giving out evil cackles.

"Cho!" Harry shouted, as a biro hit him squarely in the forehead, sending him to the ground. Harry looked towards the window where Cho was emptying her pencil case of all sharp objects and dropping them onto Hedwig's pile.

"Cho!" Harry screamed, as a compass impaled an owl behind him that wasn't quite quick enough.

"Sorry Harry, but I have to do something to stop you following me up here every minute." Cho explained before handing Hedwig a rubber, which rebounded off Harry's shoulder harmlessly.

"I'm sorry Cho! I thought it was what you wanted!" Cho laughed and grabbed the font of her robes, swirling round she revealed what she truly was.

"Voldemort!" Harry gasped, feeling repulsed as he remembered that first kiss and deep feelings. Voldemort clicked his evil fingernails and the owls swooped down around Harry, picking up the discarded biros and moved in for the kill. Harry turned and ran, feeling the prick of biros hitting his back and yelped as a particularly good aim hit him in the buttock. As he skittered down the stairs, he could hear Voldemort's evil laughter following him, he felt a sudden pain in his scar and fell down the remaining stairs, coming to rest at the bottom.

"Harry?" Harry looked up to find Cho stood over him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"