Summary: At Day, Ben Solo is the CEO and the owner of "the First Order"; a courier company that ensures its customers all of their packages are delivered without so much as a single scratch.
Ben Solo goes to bed at 9 p.m. Ben Solo is a good man.
At night, however, Kylo Ren is the CEO and the owner of "the Falcon"; an adult dating/escorting application with only one employee; Kylo Ren; the Man behind the Mask who attracts women with a MASK kink.
Kylo Ren is a very, very naughty man.
First of all, I need to confess that in this story, I am WAY out of my comfort zone. I have never written M-rated stories before, so I guess you can imagine why this is such a scary challenge for me. Also, this is my first Star Wars fanfiction, so, it seems the challenge just got bigger xD
NOTE: New tags will be added as the story progresses. So, please, mind the tags.
Enough rambling and let's start.
To the outside world, and for a very long time, Ben Solo was a lost cause.
Unbalanced, oversensitive, a control freak, can't control his emotions, has anger and trust issues, power hungry, dominant, etc. In other words, he was a complete disaster.
But to Leia Organa and Han Solo, Ben was just Ben; their child. Their only child for whom they were willing to go to the end of the world if it meant he could return to who he once was; Benjamin Solo, not Kylo Ren.
Unbeknownst to many people, Ben Solo, during his earlier adult years, fell for a scheme planned by a man named Andy Snoke. To the outside world, Andy Snoke was a famous businessman, or what some people would call a tycoon. But in the dark shadows, and to his very private and well-chosen inner circle, Lord Snoke was the head of a secret cult that he founded and named "the First Order".
Snoke's vision was so similar to the dark side of Eugenics; lesser people don't deserve to live, they are a burden that constantly demands money, nutrition, free education, free medication and other services while their contributions to the world are very small, if not null.
Snoke's vision was that people are valued as humans based on their intellect and how much money they have, or can have if they used said intellect "wisely", according to his definition of "wisely". Snoke's mission was to recruit as many young people as possible, people who were so captivated and fascinated by his success as a businessman that it was enough to lure them to his lair, then, using some extra effort, he could manipulate them and convince them with his vision. Snoke was very careful in choosing his apprentices, paying extra attention to those he chose to join him, making sure they were malleable enough to accept his twisted vision, weak enough to allow his ideas into their minds, but smart enough to add value to the organization and not strong enough to take over control or escape; In other words; his mission was to recruit chess pawns.
Snoke had a previous experience with being sloppy choosing a new apprentice. She was a brilliant young woman who worked at his company. He saw that she fit the profile, and unfortunately she took the first bait. But when things got more serious, she refused joining him, which left Snoke no other choice but to kill her as she was already informed with some of the cult's secrets and those should never come out to the light. Snoke arranged for her murder, and he had to pay a good sum of money to cover it up. While money wasn't an issue to Snoke, either was murder per se, Snoke hated mistakes, and whenever he laid eyes on a new potential follower, he would always set that young woman in front of his eyes as a reminder of a grave mistake he would never repeat.
Unfortunately, Ben Solo fell for Snoke's trap. As a somewhat troubled young man who thrived to build his own legacy, other than living in the shadows of his parents' legacies, Ben seized every opportunity to keep away from his parents' lines of work; Leia Organa was a well-known senator and Han Solo was a famous pilot. Being the son of two popular people was more than Ben could handle, and he always suspected that people liked him or treated him well only because of his parents, so he couldn't wait to make a name for himself, and unfortunately, Snoke sensed the young man's turmoil and used it to his own advantage. It was even better because Ben was the son of Snoke's fiercest enemy; Senator Leia Organa.
At the end, after Snoke was defeated, Ben found himself back to square one. Guilt ate at him for doing all those horrible things under Snoke's supervision, for breaking his parents' heart, but most of all, because somehow, in the middle of his inner emotional turmoil, sometimes he would catch himself searching for the other man, Kylo Ren, the man he once was, back in Snoke's cult. The man behind the mask.
Four years later, after so many tears, confessions, misplaced emotions and much-needed apologies and support, Ben Solo was back on his feet with one dream coming true; he made himself a name away from his parents' legacies.
Ben knew and understood that one of the reasons he agreed to join Snoke was that he wanted to build his own legacy. And now, his dream was accomplished with his own company: the First Order.
Much to his parents' dismay, Ben insisted on naming his courier company after the name of Snoke's fallen organization. To him, it was some sort of bitter-sweet revenge. To take something from Snoke's evil empire and turn it into such a mundane thing by Snoke's "high" standards, and Ben now flourished in defeating Snoke, even if the old man was already six feet under.
"Ben, why would you do that?" Leia exclaimed.
"I like it." Ben shrugged.
"The hell you are." Han shouted.
"Ben?" Leia said softly.
Ben gazed at her silently.
"Seriously, why?" Leia insisted.
Ben took a deep breath then said, "It fits the company's field, you know, ordering packages and shipping, the first because we are in a competitive market, and also…."
"BEN!" Han yelled, willing his son to stop bluffing and say the truth.
Ben exhaled sharply then cried "Alright, that's it. You need, and I also need, to accept that some part of me will always be attached to this place, even if all that remains of it is a name."
As soon as the words left his mouth, Ben regretted saying them as he saw the look of horror on his parents' faces.
Ben raised his hands in a placating gesture, "I don't mean emotionally attached. This phase of my life is completely behind me and you both know that."
Ben took a breath of relief when he saw that his words somehow made his parents look a bit more comfortable, so he continued, "I feel like he owes me that. It's like revenge; taking something so precious to him and converting it to something that's truly mine. Something that fits my plans and my goals."
Han sighed deeply, then said calmly, though his features were sad, still looking at his son, "Leia, I think Ben is right. We need to accept his decision."
Leia and Han were more than grateful that their son was back, but they had a hard time accepting that a small part of him will always live and thrive in darkness. They knew Ben now had a better control on this part, and it was definitely better than losing their son for good. They needed to live with the fact that no one is perfect, and appreciate and support their son knowing he was trying so hard to suppress this dark side and keep it under control.
One of the things that helped Ben's recovery a lot after Snoke's cult fell was visiting a psychologist. Though he never admitted it to anyone, Ben was grateful for Phasma, his psychologist, as she helped him through his journey back to the light. One of the biggest issues that Ben and Phasma worked on was Ben's anger issues and anger management. Phasma noticed Ben's anger issues since their first session, and though Ben tried to deny it for a long time, claiming that it was only stress, Phasma succeeded in making him confess that he did indeed have such issues.
"Sometimes, I feel like I need to punch something, or someone." Ben said, exasperated.
"Someone?" Phasma raised an eyebrow.
Ben closed his eyes for moment and said, "It's usually Snoke's face that I want to punch, but since he is dead, it makes me even angrier because I can't punch him now."
"So, what do you do when you feel that way?" Phasma asked calmly.
"I run."
"You run?"
"Yes. I put on my sportswear and go running until I can't breathe."
"And does that help?"
"Only temporarily." Ben answered, annoyed.
There was silence for ten seconds before Phasma leaned forward a little and asked, "Why do you feel angry, Ben?"
"What do you mean?" Ben said, trying to avoid that conversation.
"My question is simple. You seem to feel angry a lot, which is neither usual nor healthy. What makes you angry most of the time? What triggers it? Can you sense a pattern? Something or a group of things, or people, that trigger such emotions?"
Suddenly, Ben stood up and started pacing the room. "I am angry because I was weak enough to be seduced by the dark side. To fail my parents and to hurt so many people."
"Are you angry because a part of you still doesn't seem to see a problem with that?"
Ben turned to face her, furrowed his brows and said nothing.
Phasma gestured for him to sit and he obliged. Phasma knew she was stepping into a dangerous territory, so she spoke as calmly and steadily as she could. "Ben, it is not wrong to have a dark side. We all have darkness inside us. It is true that yours is a bit stronger, but still, you can control it now. You learned how to do that. You wanted to learn how to do that. That counts, Ben."
"I don't want to be that person again." Ben said in a low voice, rubbing his temples tiredly.
"You won't, as long as you know how to control it and control your anger."
Ben clinched his fists angrily, "I feel angry because of what I did and this voice inside me keeps saying that it wasn't my fault and it makes me angrier because the voice in my head sounds like me. It's like a fucking endless loop and I can't get out of it."
Phasma leaned backwards on her chair and said, "What about more physical activity? You say running helps you. Maybe, you can let the anger out by doing some tough physical activities."
"Like what?" Ben asked, more than glad that they changed the topic, for now at least.
"Anything. It doesn't matter. As long as it makes you comfortable and release the negative emotions and built-up energy inside you. And as long as it's safe, of course."
And that's when Ben started taking Phasma's advice.
Screaming at walls didn't work. Mainly because Ben didn't live in an empty neighborhood.
Boxing helped for a while, but only physically, with the extra physical energy.
Running in the wee hours of the morning was also good for a while. Swimming, kickboxing also had their fair share.
Meditation was a no-no, because, hell, he was Ben Solo and Ben Solo was no man of meditation and sitting quite still for more than 2 minutes. That's why work meetings were his second-worst nightmare.
Ben searched and searched for another way to release his darker impulses; impulses that he tried not to indulge too much but without completely ignoring them, otherwise things might get out of control and no one, including him, wants Kylo Ren to raise from his ashes.
So, Ben came up with the best (probably the worst) and most basic and instinctual idea ever.
Sex.
And Kylo Ren.
Because little did Phasma know, that Ben hid a tiny detail from her; it wasn't always about anger. But a part of him thrived on dominance. He was an Alpha by nature, and all this built up energy inside him could only be released by one man, and that man was Kylo Ren.
Also, there is that proverb that says: If you can't beat them, join them.
So, as a solution, and unknown to everyone around him, Ben coded a mobile application called "the Falcon"; an online dating/escorting application where women can create their personal "anonymous" accounts and request the special service from the only employee; Kylo Ren.
Because what's better than sex to release all energy? What's more effective than a power play? What is better than indulging his own little fantasy; wearing the mask, being super-dominant, even if it's temporary and even if it's only a game?
At night, Ben Solo goes to sleep early because he has to wake up early for work. Ben Solo is a very good and punctual man.
But some other nights, Kylo Ren puts Ben Solo to bed, wears the mask and goes on a late-night date.
Ben Solo and Kylo Ren are two sides of the same coin.
Ben Solo's vision for his company was as clear as day:
"Time is of essence."
"Quality is the cherry on top."
Ben Solo chose his employees very carefully. Every employee in "the First Order" has to have an interview with Mr. Solo before having an interview with the head of department or the team's manager. His own hiring criteria was very specific and quite demanding.
Much to Ben's secret delight, employees of "The First Order" were on the verge of respect mixed with a bit of wariness when it came to him. No one feared him, of course, he wasn't a scary man, but he was as sharp as a lightsaber and when needed, as menacing as a Vader.
Yet, everyone was happy with this arrangement, the employees did their job perfectly, he was polite, if not in a social manner, but polite nonetheless, an unspoken agreement that everyone in "the First Order" accepted.
Nearly everyone.
Except her.
The head of "Scavenging" department as she likes to name it, against his will.
Rey Niima.
So, there is that, and I honestly have no idea if this is a twisted idea or not (Maybe time for me to visit a psychiatrist myself!)
Seriously, I believe that if we are so lucky to have a redemption scene for Ben Solo in Star Wars: Episode XI, we need to be prepared that there will always be a part of him that stays in the dark. I mean, it does run in the family, doesn't it? For me, it will be more realistic, because no one is actually perfect. Ben Solo has a light side and Rey also has her dark side.
Anyway, there is the first chapter. So, let me know what you think J