(Characters: Sean O'Haire, Toni, NCAA Champion Brock "the next big thing" Lesnar and Paul Heyman plus other visitors.)
Standard Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction which contains character names of wrestlers owned by WWE that I have borrowed simply for your reading pleasure. There is no copyright infringement intended and the author is not making any money from the publication of this story. Toni is the only character that I own - enjoy!
FRIDAY - June 7, 2002
"I'm so glad to be back baby. I have missed you so much. It seems like forever since I last saw you" Sean said as we'd just left my apartment in Hales Corners to drive out to his home in Atlanta.
I left work at 4:30pm so I could be at home waiting for him when he got in as I expected him around 5:15pm and he arrived on the dot.
"I've missed you too sweetie. You know, it's funny how I was just thinking about how we met on the train when I first moved up here. Remember that?" I asked as he held my hand.
"Yeah, that was something else. Knowing that I found my heart on the train that night, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat because that was a very special time in my life" he updated.
"Oh, that's so sweet Sean. Thank you baby" I said as I reached over and caressed his face.
He looked over at me and smiled then squeezed my hand but soon refocused on the road ahead as he drove.
Sean had called me over a week ago to let me know that he would be returning today and was coming for me.
He said that our time was "now" and that he missed me so much that I'd be best not to have any plans for the weekend when he got back because he was taking me back to Atlanta with him this time around. Especially since he was going to return to Louisville next Saturday which gave him just a week to be back.
After that, I put in for three additional days off but Mr. Dithers told me that I could take the entire week off next week.
"Kool with me", I thought.
When I informed Sean, he was more ecstatic than I was.
"Thank god you have such a wonderful boss to give you so much time off on such short notice. Regardless, I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to get back in time to go with you to visit your family. How did everything go when you got there?" he asked.
"It also helped to know that my boss is a big fan of yours. But anyway about my family, they missed me of course, but they were also very happy to know that I had moved on and was enjoying my life and wasn't just sitting around moping about the past. As a matter of fact, the trip turned out to be pretty entertaining as well because I got to see that the relationship between two people from my past was not going as smoothly as they thought it would but I still could have done without seeing them regardless. Anyway, what goes around comes around, right?" I asked.
Sean looked at me and smiled.
"Well, that may be true but for our sake, I'm also very happy to know that you're past it so that we can focus on each other. Though also as you've said, what goes around comes around because he was a complete fool to do that to you in the first place. Now he's reaping what he has sewn but sweetie it's not good to gloat about their problems because it would be like one misses being with that person. Regardless in all honesty, if he ever comes this way and tries to make another play for you, I'm going to knock his brains in" he updated.
It was my turn to look at him now.
"Sean, I know exactly what you mean but, I got over it a long time ago because I'm not one to dwell on the past like that and I'm looking forward to a very prospective future here in Georgia and I'm not planning to let anything come between us. Anyway, when he finally saw me, he was acting like some kind of lost puppy dog or something. But I do have to admit that I was thinking of the words "eat your heart out" at that time" I explained.
Just then Sean started laughing really hard which made me smile.
"Eat your heart out indeed because he now knows what he's missing and can no longer have. As I've said before, his loss" he said.
"Right about that. Anyway, what were you going to tell me about your plans with the WWE?" I asked.
"Oh that's right, I have great news. I'm going to be back home in Atlanta in six weeks and won't be traveling again until late November of this year" he explained.
"That's wonderful Sean. So now we'll have about, umm let's see......... about three months together before you start traveling again" I said after I counted the time.
"That's right sweetie and I'm going to spend as much time with you as I possibly can, that is if it's ok with you" he said.
"If it's ok with me? Get out of town. Of course it's ok with me and anyway, the timing is perfect because not only will I have to go out to Chevy's plant in Atlanta around July 25th for a few days, you'll also be here to celebrate my birthday on November 12th so the timing is just so right on time" I said.
"That's wonderful but I have to admit that I'm embarrassed because we have never even mentioned the subject of our birthday's before but I'm glad to know that I'll be here with you baby" he said then smiled.
"That's right but it's ok. By the way, when is your birthday?" I asked before I took a drink from the bottle of water that I was holding.
"It's February 25th. I'll be 30 on my next birthday" he said.
Just then, I started choking which started a bout of coughing that I couldn't stop. It seemed to go on forever.
"Toni, are you ok?" Sean suddenly asked as he pulled over to the side of the road.
I couldn't answer him because I was busy trying to clear my throat so I grabbed my water and took a few swallows as I continuously tried to clear it.
When the truck finally stopped, I jumped out and bent over just in case I would throw up or something.
Sean came over a few seconds later and started hitting me in my back to try to help me.
"Oh my God sweetie..... what's the matter?" Sean asked hysterically.
I finally felt my throat clearing and was able to shake my head in semi-answer to let him know that I was ok.
"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I should have waited until you were finished drinking before I answered you" he said then hugged me when I stood up.
"That's ok. You just took me by surprise that's all" I finally answered then cleared my throat again.
He walked me back over to the truck then shut the door after I got inside.
"Are you sure that you're going to be ok now?" he asked again.
I just shook my head but didn't speak again until he got back in the driver's seat.
"Sean I can't believe that you're going to be just 30. That's what made me choke" I said.
He stared at me for a minute.
"What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"Well, I mean that all this time, I thought that you were older than 29. I was just shocked that's all" I said.
"Why? Do I look older or something?" he asked.
"Yes, as a matter of fact you do. I thought that you were at least about 34 but I never would have guessed that you were just 29" I explained.
"Why would you think that? Are you older than me or something?" he asked then started laughing.
I just looked at him again.
"As a matter of fact, I am" I said.
He stopped laughing then looked at me.
"You are? Get out of town I don't believe you" he said.
"It's true Sean. I wouldn't lie about a thing like that" I said.
Just then, I pulled out my license and showed him.
He started reading my vitals.
"Ms. Toni Barnhart, blah blah blah Claire Vista Apartments, Date of Birth - November 12, 1971?? So that means that you're....... 31 right now.... correct?" he asked.
"That's right and that makes me 2 years older than you are now" I said.
"Wow, guys usually call a woman who's older than them a "vet" Sean said then smiled.
I just looked at him but didn't smile at all because though I was thinking the same thing that he just voiced, I really didn't think that it was a big deal age-wise.
"If that's the word for a woman who is older than the man she's seeing and with us actually being together as a couple, then so be it Sean. But I hope that you're not going to start using that term while we're together because it sounds like I've been through the war or something" I updated.
"You're not upset or anything like that are you?" he asked.
"No, not at all but I do suddenly feel that you have a problem with it. So I just want to let you know that my feelings and thoughts haven't changed about you age-wise as my being older shouldn't make a difference because I don't let things like that bother me and I hope you don't either. Age isn't anything but a number because it's the heart that takes the biggest toll no matter what the outcome is. Overall, I was just taken back when you told me your true age but it's not an issue" I said.
"Well, it is something new for me to think about" he said.
"I guess what you're now saying is that though it really doesn't matter, in all honesty it really does in a sense because your friends are going to joke you about it or something. Overall, you're not sure if you should knock them out over it to defend us or if we should end our relationship to make you feel better so you can search for someone around your age or younger to make you feel better as a man. Is that correct Sean?" I asked.
"What in the.......??? Where did all of that come from?" he suddenly asked.
"It came from my heart Sean. At least I'm being fair to myself and honest up front by admitting what I feel that you're thinking now. But if you can't be true to yourself with your thoughts then maybe you need to sit down with yourself and think it over before we go any further" I updated.
"Look, let's stop talking about this because I don't want you getting all upset on me here" he said.
"Believe me, getting upset is the furthest thing from my mind" I updated.
He turned around and finally pulled back onto the highway.
I watched him for a while then reached for his hand just as he was moving it over to the steering wheel.
I pulled my hand back when I realized that he hadn't known that I was reaching for his.
"Anyway back to what we were originally talking about. When you come to Atlanta, you can stay with me" he said.
"That's great but I don't want to overcrowd you or anything Sean. I don't want to get in the way" I updated.
He looked over at me just then and smirked.
"Are you kidding me Toni. I'm most definitely not going to let you stay at some hotel when you're so near to me" he said.
"Well, that would be best expense-wise but let me think about it, ok?" I asked.
Sean looked over at me again.
"Ok, but it would only make sense especially since I'll be back home" he said.
"You're right but if you weren't going to be back in town, I would have to stay at a hotel anyway Sean" I explained.
"I know but........ oh, never mind" he said then he pulled off the highway again but this time we went into the lot of one of the Oasis restaurants then he turned off the engine.
With that, we got out of the truck and went inside.
Upon entering, I noticed that it wasn't an ordinary restaurant because they offered a choice of Chinese, Pizza, Italian, Mexican or McDonald's.
"I want Mickey D's" Sean said.
I just looked at him.
"Get out of here. That's so ordinary" I said.
"But I love McDonald's" he whined.
"Alright, already but I'm going to have Szechwan Teriyaki Chicken. Though if you get gas from all of that grease, you're going to be sleeping by yourself though now that I think about it, all that hot pepper will probably keep me up all night also so maybe we should get some Pepto" I said.
Sean started laughing afterward which got me started as well.
After we'd both individually stood in line at both restaurants, we met up at one of the vacant boothed tables then finally sat down to eat.
In looking over at Sean's food, I realized that he had a few "Happy Meal" toys on his tray.
When I looked at him, he was grinning like a kid.
"So that's why you wanted to go to MD's, huh?" I asked.
"Yeah but I also love their Big Mac's" he updated as he pulled his jacket off.
"Secret sauce and all. Yuck" I said then smiled.
Afterward, I realized that he had something silver around his neck that I hadn't seen before.
"Sean, what's that around your neck?" I asked him after I took my jacket off as well.
He reached up to touch the pendant that hung there.
"Oh this? It's something that I found in one of the shops in my travels. It's a symbol that represents pure energy for "The Mind, The Body and the Spirit". When I saw it, I fell in love with it because I felt that it represented a lot about me especially in what I do for a living as well as the way that I take care of myself. I really love the fact that it's on a leather cord with this silver clasp" he explained as he turned it around to show me.
"That's a nice gift for yourself. At first I thought that it was some kind of heritage symbol or something" I said.
"Unfortunately, it's not but it's probably as close as I'll every get to feeling in touch with my true self" he said.
"Do you every take it off?" I asked.
"The only time I do is when I'm bathing. Other than that it's pretty much a part of me" he said.
"Oh Wow, I just got another flash from that night again. I am still so embarrassed to have been like that" I said.
"Toni, I can't believe that that's still bothering you. That was so long ago" he said.
"But Sean, I hate that we had to meet like that though I wasn't expecting to meet anyone that night myself. So I guess I'm really embarrassed because I was pretty wasted since we'd just informally met for the first time and I was almost out of it" I explained.
"I know honey but don't worry about it yet if you feel really bad about it, maybe you shouldn't drink at all" he said.
"I'm not worried, but you may be right. Though it was just three glasses of wine, maybe I should just stick to drinking around the house and limit myself more closely when we're out because I don't want anything to happen that I have no control over. But I do wish that things were different that night because sometimes when I drink, I may tend to go overboard or even forget what I'd done the night before" I said.
"Well regardless, I forgive you because we hit if off so well but I still love you anyway. Though I can't imagine that it gets so bad that you forget what you did, we all go overboard every now and then so don't let it weigh heavily on your mind, ok sweets?" he asked.
"Yeah, I can do that" I said.
I smiled afterward.
Over the past two months, Sean and I had kept in constant contact with each other and we were always there for each other with either him listening to my daily complaints or with my listening to him whenever something wasn't going right at OVW.
Regardless of all this, my feelings grew for him more and more and I couldn't wait until he returned.
So when he told me about the break in his travels and schedule at OVW, I was ecstatic to know that he couldn't wait to get back home. Especially since he wanted to pickup where we left off knowing that his first stop would be directly at my house when he returned to Georgia.
We finished eating then finally left the Oasis.
Sean actually let me drive for about 30 minutes after giving me directions when we left the restaurant.
It's pretty strange that I noticed how he seemed to be pretty indifferent after I told him that I was older than he was but I also realized that he seemed to have a concerned look on his face as well.
Maybe it was my imagination working in overdrive.
"Whatever", I thought.
Sometime later after we switched driving positions once again, he took us on into Atlanta and I didn't worry about it again.
We finally arrived at his home around 8:00pm and I was amazed at how beautiful his home was when we pulled up the driveway.
"Here we are" he said then smiled over at me.
"Beautiful home Sean. It really compliments you" I said as I noticed it's surroundings.
"Thank you. I've had it for about a year now. No matter where I'm sent, this will always be home to me" he said.
I got out of the truck after he parked and waited until he came over to my side. I started walking around the grounds and realized that the more I looked at the place, the more I could see "Sean O'Haire" written all over it.
"This is you alright. There is no way that anyone can ever say that it isn't" I said.
When I turned to look at him, I realized that he was staring at me.
"Sean, are you ok?" I asked.
He seemed to have suddenly snapped back to the present almost immediately.
"Oh...... yeah, I'm ok. I was just looking at you that's all" he said in what seemed to be a forced response.
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I asked.
"It's all good because I was just thinking about getting you into my bed that's all" he said slyly.
"I bet you are" I responded then smiled myself.
I wondered about if what he'd just said was really what he was thinking or if he was concerned with what we'd discussed earlier.
We unpacked the truck and took everything inside.
He'd stopped to retrieve his mail from the inside shoot of the built-in drop box and flipped on the light switch just inside of the front door.
The foyer light and the livingroom lights came on automatically.
"Wow", I thought as he closed the door behind us.
I dropped my bags and went directly into his front room.
It was one of those expanse type of living room's which had ceiling to floor walk-through window's which led off to the back of the house.
Pretty hard to explain but you had to be here to recognize.
I walked over to the front window and peeped out. That's when I realized how the walkway outside of the window curved off to the back of the house.
"Hmmmmmm...... really nice", I thought.
The place had to have been costly because it was also sitting on the corner of the block so I know that he was paying for that additional necessity as well.
Sean didn't really know what to think when Toni told him that she thought that he was at least 34 years old but in all actuality, when she told him that she was two years older than he was, he almost died.
He had never ever dated a woman older than him.
The strangest thing about it was that he would have never known had she not brought it up.
To be honest, he really didn't know what to think now.
He wasn't mad that's for sure but he did honestly feel strange all of a sudden.
He figured that she also knew something was up especially when she caught him staring at her.
"I can't believe that she's older than I am", he thought to himself.
Though she told him not to sweat it, age really isn't anything but a number.
She was probably right about his feelings on the age difference because men are usually supposed to have the upper hand on things like this.
He really loved her and hoped that this new information didn't become a problem with them and though he loved her, love should really conquer all no matter what.
He just had to convince himself of that as soon as possible - before it was too late.
"I know it's not really late but let me show you around then we can get settled" he said.
"That's ok. I can do it myself because you might want to check your messages or something before we finally settle down for the night" I said.
"Uh sure..... if you don't mind" he said as he looked at me strangely.
"I'm just being courteous Sean because you've been away for so long. I know how those things are so I'll just look around if you don't mind" I said.
"Ok, I'll join you soon. The kitchen and den are toward the back through there; my training, storage and laundry rooms are downstairs through that door over there and I have three bedrooms and two bathrooms upstairs. The master bedroom has a private bathroom and the other one can be entered through the main hall. I know how you ladies love your privacy sometimes so you can have either one of the other rooms or you can sleep with me if you want" he explained.
"Well I know what you mean about the privacy but I've been by myself for quite some time so I think that I'd be best to sleep with you" I explained.
"Fair enough" he said.
With that, I left him to check his messages then went toward the back of the house which took a minute to get to but eventually I found the kitchen and den then browsed quite a bit.
Eventually, I found the stairway leading to the downstairs and over to the laundry and storage rooms.
I was pretty amazed at some of the things that he had in various parts of his home but nothing could have prepared me for when I saw that he had a collection of Samurai swords in his well-maintained training room. He had some sort of oversized mat in one corner of the room, which I believe that he either used for exercises or training.
After looking at all of the equipment that he had, I made a note to ask him about the backgrounds on his swords.
"Are you hungry?" Sean asked me from behind.
I jumped because I hadn't known that he had come into the room.
I was admiring one of his swords at the time.
"Oh, no I'm ok but you can get something if you're hungry or I can make something for you" I said.
"I'll just grab a quick sandwich. I see that you're admiring my collection" he said as he came over to me.
"Yes, I wanted to ask you about them. It looks like you have close to 30 or so" I said.
"Something like that. I've been collecting for years and they range anywhere from $1,000-$5,000 each. Oh, let's see. These two were specially ordered from Japan, this one was sent to me in Louisville from one of my many fans who just so happens to run one of those fan oriented websites(it's one of my favorites), several I collected from all over in my travels, my boss gave me this black lacquer double-sided one(it's one of my favorites too), I got this one when the company had an autograph signing once in Chicago, I received some from friends and different people that I know.........." he explained.
Sean went on and on for a while explaining everything to me. He had his favorites of course and though I knew nothing about them, I was pretty amazed at what I was hearing because I was very interested.
After a while, we finally left the room and went to the kitchen because his stomach started growling something awful.
"Sounds like you're pretty hungry" I said.
"I stay hungry all the time babe" he responded.
With that, we finally left to go to the kitchen. I realized that he was smiling because I knew that it wasn't just food that he was talking about.
Sean didn't realize that he had listened to the same message at least 8 times before he looked down and saw that he was holding the "replay" button on the recorder.
Suddenly he took his finger off the button and went on to the next messages until he was done.
He still wasn't sure of how he felt about their age difference but he also didn't want his friends joking with him about it either no matter what.
It's strange that he really felt that it was a problem as well as he knew that it was one that he couldn't solve - period.
Either he'd have to get over it or as she said, he would have to speak with her on their separating which would kill him - of course she was fooling but he wasn't really sure that he would be should it come down to that fact.
"What the hell am I thinking?", he wondered.
He knew that he loved her and this was one of those obstacles that love was supposed to overcome, right?
But if that were true, why was he having a tough time convincing himself of the same?
"This is most definitely something that we have to talk about as soon as possible", he thought after he was done with retrieving all the messages that he needed to return.
Sean tended to a few other things then went to seek Toni out after about 15 minutes.
When he found her in his training room, he didn't want to startle her because she was looking over his collection of swords. That made him smile because she had a look of fascination on her face.
God how he hated if it came to them separating because of this one minor problem that existed no matter what.
When his stomach growled, next thing he knew he asked if she were hungry. That's when he realized that she didn't know that he'd come into the room because she jumped.
Before they went to the kitchen though, he explained to her all about the history of his sword collection.
After another 20 minutes, his stomach growled again so they decided to go to the kitchen.
After we went to the kitchen, I followed and watched as he made himself a sandwich.
"I'm going to workout early in the morning then catch up on some paperwork in the early afternoon. After my shower, I'm going to take you sightseeing. If that's ok with you" he said.
"Sounds like a plan to me" I answered.
I watched him for a minute.
"Sean, I was wondering. Do you ever keep in contact with any of the guys from OVW when you guys are not wrestling or traveling together?" I asked as he ate.
"As a matter of fact I keep in contact with most of them but not as much as when we're traveling. A few of the guys have families in Gainesville and here in Atlanta" he updated.
"Kool. Maybe we'll run into a few of them while we're here and can have a barbecue or something" I said.
"Who knows - maybe we will. Anyway, since I'm done here, let's get our things so I can show you around upstairs" he said.
With that, we went back to the front room entrance and retrieved our things then I followed him up the staircase and to two nicely decorated bedrooms and the hall entry bathroom that he told me about.
I knew that I was jumping the gun but I most definitely could see that the second bedroom was the place for me.
Even though there's the possibility that we might not even make it that far, you can't blame a girl for dreaming.
He finally led me into his bedroom that once again immediately reeked of his presence.
"As I've said before Sean, this place has your name written all over it" I updated.
He just stood there smiling.
"Yeah, it did kind of grow on me sometime ago so I guess that after a while I added some of the things I thought would enhance my overall surroundings and it eventually took on my overall presence" he said.
"And a king-size bed to boot" I added.
"Yeah, a lot more room to move around in so that we can have more freedom to do what we please" he said slyly.
"Tell me about it" I said.
"Ok, you can hang some of your stuff in here and I have two vacant chest drawers for you as well. The bathroom has my stuff all over but you'll find it fairly clean. There are fresh towels and some toiletry stuff in the closet behind the bathroom door and you can use my robe that's on the back of the door - it's clean" he explained.
"A true gentleman for sure" I said.
"Yes I am and I'll even let you sleep on my side of the bed if you want to which is the left side" he updated.
Maybe I did read him all wrong earlier in reference to him seeming to be indifferent about what I'd told him about my age though if he did have a problem with it, he sure was real good at hiding it that's for sure.
SATURDAY (5:30am)
Sean woke early and left the room after he changed into his workout clothes.
He looked over at Toni before he left and though their lovemaking session was like heaven last night, he was torn between being with her and dealing with their age difference or possibly losing her forever.
With that, he worked himself into a frenzy because he wasn't sure what he wanted to do about them.
I woke and realized that Sean was nowhere around so I got out of bed and wandered around until I found him.
He was in his training room in the basement.
I quietly watched him then slowly crept over to a little spot over by his weight-bench and sat down.
He was magnificent as he did some kind of gymnastics that consisted of kicking and judo or something.
He never once saw me as I sat there throughout each and every routine that he performed but I could have sworn that he was pissed about something.
Sean was beating the hell out of his dummy training bag because he was pondering the decision of telling her that he wanted to end their relationship or yet maybe they could continue seeing each other but not as much because of that issue though it was probably a waste of time as he knew that she wouldn't ever go for it no matter what. Regardless, she'd probably just tell him that sooner or later the relationship would really sour and they'd find themselves alone without each other.
One thing he knew was that he'd definitely miss their lovemaking because she filled him completely but he wasn't even sure if that was enough to settle him.
He was like a ball of confusion and he knew these thoughts would not have been swirling around in his head had she kept her age a secret.
Regardless sooner or later he would have been bound to find out though.
Soon he turned and saw her sitting there watching him.
She was over by his weight-bench.
He wondered how long she'd been their watching him workout.
"Hi there, couldn't sleep?" he asked after he came over.
"No, I'm ok. I was going to go back to bed until I saw you down here so I came in quite some time ago and decided not to disturb you while you worked out" I said.
"I felt out of shape so I came down earlier than normal" he said.
"You were fantastic Sean. I loved watching you" I admitted.
"Thanks sweetheart. I'm going to handle some paperwork so we can leave soon" he said.
"Great. I'll make breakfast for us" I said.
"Kool" he said then led me back upstairs.
I went to shower and he joined me.
"Hey Sweetpotato" I said when he entered the shower.
"Hey babe. Let me wash your back for you" he said.
With that, I turned so that he could get to it better.
"You were wonderful last night sweetie" I said.
"You're pretty outstanding your damn self" he admitted.
I smiled then we continued to wash each other.
11:00am
I put the dishes in the dishwasher after breakfast and I was feeling good all morning especially after I watched Sean workout.
He went to take care of his paperwork and while he was busy doing that, I walked around the house for a while until I ended up back in his training room.
I really wanted to try out his workout mat so I undressed down to my leotard and went to the middle of it.
Sean finally finished what he was doing and went looking for Toni so they could leave for downtown.
He found her on his training mat.
She was doing a handstand.
He didn't move from his current position in the doorway as he stood there watching her.
He also didn't know that she was athletic because she never mentioned it.
Next, she stood and did a standing split in which she lifted one leg high above her head while the other one remained stationery in one place on the floor.
When she did that, he became really amazed because her leg went directly up to her shoulder with no problem.
She looked like she was getting ready to kick some real ass.
He continued watching her until she looked pretty much done then he went back upstairs and called her to let her know that he was ready.
I did bends and stretches that I didn't realize that I could still do.
I stayed down there until I was bushed but moreso until I finally heard Sean calling out to me.
"Ok, I'll be right up" I hollered back up the stairs to let him know that I was coming.
I finally redressed then went up to meet him.
"What are you smiling at?" he asked when he saw me.
"Oh nothing. I was just downstairs checking out your workout mat. I almost forgot how flexible I am" I said.
"Um hum. Now let's get out of here so I can take you sightseeing and shopping" he said.
4:45pm
I was happy for the most part but when people came over to him for autographs, I was even happier because I almost forgot how it was to be with him while so many people knew and loved him just as much.
While he was busy with autographs, I browsed one of the nearby shops and admired a dress that I thought was really pretty.
I don't know why but for the life of me as I caught his reflection in the window, I could have sworn that he was smirking at me.
"Ok Toni, don't start that stuff again. You know that he loves you so cut it out already", I thought to myself.
I ignored my thoughts and finally rejoined him just as he was finishing up.
Finally, we finished sightseeing and shopping downtown and then returned to the house.
6:35pm
Sean was in the den relaxing when he called out to me in the kitchen as I was preparing dinner.
When I entered the den, I saw him over by the bookcase then he took a seat on the sofa.
I had a strange feeling that this wasn't going to be good. My stomach began to tie in knots.
"Toni, please come here sweetheart I have something that I want to talk to you about" he said.
Why did I suddenly feel a ghost walk past me? I couldn't answer that question but I was soon to find out.
15 minutes later.......
I was on my feet with the quickness with what was just laid on me.
"Sean, you're joking right? I mean please tell me that this is some kind of late April Fool's joke, yes?" I asked as I realized what he'd just said.
"I'm sorry but I can't help thinking this way Toni. I don't know why this is happening but it is and I feel that the best thing for me to do is to tell you now" he explained.
I cautiously went over to him and sat on the chair across from him.
"And all this time I thought that I was hallucinating or something each time I caught you looking at me strangely" I said.
"Toni, please understand. I love you with all of my heart right down to my bones but I just can't go another day without letting you know that this is an issue with me" he explained.
"If you love someone, you don't do that to them. You don't let how you truly feel swelter and build until you can't take it anymore - that's not being fair to the person you're with. If you had a problem with our age difference, overall you should have been man enough to let me know up front and not lead me to think that everything was ok. You're no different than that asshole ex-fiancée of mine was Sean O'Haire. You're just a different person but there were secrets which existed just the same. Remember when I said "Men, What Assholes" on the train? Now that I think about it, I meant every word" I cried as I stood there.
"Baby, please don't hate me. I don't want you to lose you" he cried.
"If that's the case then you would have gotten past this a long time ago Sean and you're the one letting this break us up not me. I can't help it if I was born two year's before you were but if love is supposed to conquer all then age shouldn't make a difference either" I updated.
"Toni.... sweetheart.... baby..... I need you with me" he cried further.
"You don't have the right to call me "baby" or "sweetheart" ever again. I'm going home Sean because it's the right thing for me to do. I don't know how I'll get there but at least I will no longer be here. And since you want away from me so bad, I'll make it easier on you and leave right now" I suddenly cried as I ran from the room and upstairs to pack.
I went into his room as quick as I could then closed the door and started crying.
I couldn't fathom being there any longer than I had to be.
It's so strange how things suddenly changed.
While I was blindly packing with lightening speed, I thanked God that I knew the # to the International Cab Co. which had branches all over Georgia.
I dialed their # from my cell phone........
"Hello, International Cab" the operation said.
"Yes, can you please send a taxi to 876 Morton Road as soon as possible? I'm in a hurry" I said as I continued stuffing things into my bags.
Just then, the bedroom door opened and Sean came in.........
I wiped at my eyes.
"Ma'am, we'll be there in 10 minutes" the operator informed me.
"Please hurry" I said then hung up.
I next grabbed my jeans and blouse then quickly changed all the while ignoring his presence.
He was sitting in a nearby chair......
"Toni, please don't leave me. Don't go" he said.
"I can't stay here with you Sean" I said as I almost tripped while putting on my sneakers.
"Please, I'm begging you. I love you" he cried as he came over to me.
I grabbed my things and brushed past him without looking then literally ran down the stairs and over to the front door.
"Toni, wait...... please don't leave" he said over my shoulder, as he was close behind me.
I stopped and turned around.....
"You know Sean, this reminds me once again of when I left Chicago. How I was in a hurry to leave there to start anew. I never thought that I'd be doing it once again. I always seem to be running away from things. But at least one thing is good here, with my going home I'm not across the street or down the road from you - I'm going home to Hales Corners where you don't have to look at me anymore and you can get on with living the "young yet single life". That way you can find someone your age or younger so you can feel more of a man but if that's what it takes to make you happy, then you're just a big phony materialistic asshole. Regardless, you don't have to worry about this old maid ever again" I said.
"But that's not what I really want. I......." he started but I cut him off.
"Just always remember one thing, you chased after me in the first place when I was in a vulnerable state and I let us happen just after I'd just gotten my heart broken - just when I was starting over so I guess we both should be ashamed of ourselves here. You also should have checked out the merchandise further before you decided to put in a purchase but I guess that just goes to show me that "all men are the same" - they just come in their own different packaging of race, color and creed. Strangest thing about this, you had no problem with our difference in race but you have a problem with our age? I don't get it and for the life of me as long as I live on this earth, I will never understand that" I explained.
I stood there knowing that I would not cry in front of him no matter what.
"There's just one wish that I have now and that is that I wish that you never came back for me Sean and as much as I want to say that I wish that I never met you, I won't because time allowed me to love you as you are. Why oh why does hell break out just when love gets the best of a person? As a matter of fact, I also remember saying that "I'm not planning to let anything come between us". Yeah, that was me alright and I felt it in my heart also though since I wasn't the one who let this happen, I now feel like a fool to have gotten into anything with another man again" I explained.
He stepped to me once again but I took a few steps back.........
"Damn you for loving me and giving me your heart Sean O'Haire and shame on me for accepting it and believing in us each and every time I held and kissed you with my eyes shut tight" I said then finally turned and walked toward the door.
Next thing I knew, I heard a horn blowing outside then I walked out without looking back.
"Thank God I know Amtrak's schedule like the back of my hand", I thought as the cabby came to help me with my baggage.
If we didn't run into any problems, I would make it to the station with 10 minutes to spare before the next train left for HC.
I never knew that I would once again be taking this long trip to Hales Corners like this but if it's what I had to do then so be it.
"No one to blame this time because I have a life to live though I know that it'll kick in sooner or later. Though now is not the time" I stated matter of factly.
I lastly looked back and saw him standing in the doorway looking defeated or something......
That was 3 days ago.......