A castle, forty feet high
Synopsis: Fixing broken things takes time.
Disclaimer: I do not own Riverdale or the song "Down in the Valley".
I haven´t done any fanfic in a long time and honestly I´m feeling a lillte weird about it right now but that scene between FP and Jellybean was just too good to not do something on their relationship.
Please notice that I neither have a beta, nor is English my native tongue and I am sorry for any mistakes. The title is taken from the song "Down in the valley". The song is used in this fic, too.
Warnings: This is FP´s POV so there´s bad language.
one
It´s December, so it is freezing cold in the camp they built a few miles away from town to crash and FP is shivering, but of cause he would never admit that he´s cold. Instead he walks a few feet down to the river a bucket in his hands. He breaks the ice with his feet and fills the bucket up.
Camping in the mids of winter because your town is on lockdown is not exactly what he had in mind for the first Christmas he got to spent with his entire family since a long time, but at least now they´re together. Jughead and Jellybean and Gladys and him. Of corse there´s also Alice and Betty, but Fp´s mind is not ready to solve the riddle that surrounds that part of his heart, he´s never been a man of thinking or words. And his action have taken him nowhere so far.
So he simply fills up the bucket and is about to head back to camp when his eyes catch Jellybean – JB now, he corrects himself – sitting a few feet away clearly lost in thoughts. He takes a deep breath, maybe to gather his strength and walks towards her, even if he doesn´t know what he should say, what he could say, to make up to all the mistakes he did in the past. Her hair is a mess but its bright color reminds him of the way his hair used to be when he was younger and that´s hurting even more, because it clearly shows that he´s her father even if he´s somehow not.
She must have noticed him because now her head shoots up in the air and her eyes fix him, so he´s glued to the ground and can´t come further.
He´s about to say something – even if he doesn´t know what – when suddenly Jughead appears out of nowhere.
"Dad!" FP´s attention shifts towards his son, and part of him is so relieved that he does not have to have that conversation right now that he simple wants to take Jughead into a crushing hug.
"Mr. Andrew´s here", Jughead exclaims with wide eyes and FP nods and follows him, the bucket sitll in his hands and curses and praises Fred Andrews both at the same time for saving his ass once again.
two
It´s January when they first come forward with a plan to break into their own town – something that is just as fucked up as it sounds.
The plan is simple and stupid but no one had a better idea – not even Jughead and FP´s is worried the cold might have killed tons of his sons brain cells.
They just try to sneek in from six different places at once, while the biggest part of the group – all these kids from the Quiet Mercy – attack the front to disctract the guards.
FP doesn´t like it and what he hates the most is that both his kids are sneaking in with him on the west side, putting themselves in danger. He wants to tell Jellybean – JB he corrects himself – to wait outside and stand guard, but she would never listen to him, so she comes with them and FP has to admit that she is the best at sneaking anyway.
Everything goes well, Jughead is five feet in front of him waving him over, telling him that there´s no guard around, when suddenly a scream fills the air of the night.
FP would regognize this scream anywhere, cause he was there when the kid sceamed for the first time when it came to this world and he´s a man of actions and not thinking, so next thing he knows he turns around on his heels and runs to her rescue. A guard has caught her and FP can see even from ten feet away, that the guy is grabbing her to tight, that he hurts her and after that everything is just a blur, because when FP´s getting boiled up with emotion – fear, sadness, whatsoever – he tends to rage up. He´s never been good with emotions, but anger is the one thing he knows and he doesn´t really know what happens that leads to the guard lying unconssious on the ground and him and the kids running away, back to camp, somewhere safe.
Later they will learn that the entire plan failed, three of them got caught, Fred being one of them, and FP is so filled up with rage, that he doesn´t know what to do. But he kinda bottles it up, because of the look on Jugheads face. The boy blames himself because it was his plan and now his best friends father is in there, in the clutches of Hiram Lodge, or the Gargoyle King or even worse.
So instead of breaking anything, he goes down to the river, fills up the bucket with water and tries to scrab of the blood off his knuckles. His mind kinda tries to get through him and tell him, that there´s also blood flowing down his temple, which would explain the throbbing pain on the left side of his head but he´s too slow in processing.
He flinces when suddenly someone kneels in front of him, and he´s confused when he realises it´s Jellybean. She´s grown so tall, is all he can think and therefore fails to come up with something to say. Instead he silenty allows her to take the cloth from his hand and wash the blood from his face.
He knows he needs to say something, anything, but they haven´t talked in all these weeks, not alone, only when Jughead or Gladys were there and even then it´s never been – deep.
So he just stares, at his daughter he did not see growing up to the person she´s now and bites his lips.
"Jellybean -", is what he says when he finally gets his voice working.
"It´s JB now", she corrects him in a tone that puts an end to the coversation before it even started and part of him is glad for it, because he had no idea what to say.
Later that night he and Jughead sit down at the campfire alone, everybody else is sleeping and they agreed to take the first watch. They might as well live in a zombie apocalyptic world, FP thinks bitterly. He´s in no mood of talking but Jughead is that kind of kid that get´s it all just by watching him – did FP ever tell him, that he´s too smart for his own good?
"She loves you, you know that, right?"
FP flinches, shifts on his mark and is about to make a smart remark to tell the boy he´s got no idea who he´s talking about, but he doesn´t. Instead he looks on the ground and smiles sadly. Truth is, he isn´t afraid of her not loving him. He´s afraid of her not knowing how much he loves her.
three
It´s Febuary when it all comes to conclusion.
It´s been two weeks since everybody finally gave in to Alice Cooper and went to live at that barn of the farm of Edgar Evernever – honestly the dumbest name he ever heard of – because being outside day and night in the freaking cold is hardly what everybody wants and the farm is warm and comfy.
It doesn´t take long, for Jughead and Betty to figure out the links and when the Gargoyle King is finally revealed, FP should be relieved, happy or maybe confused but mainly he´s just tired. Too tired to do anything than just sitting there, so he´s glad that there are other people to take control.
It doens´t take long from then for the walls around Riverdale to come down, the castle finally crumbling, mainly because Veronica and Fred and the Keller family where working from the inside of this ridiculous built up to free the town and reunite with the people they care about.
So now he´s sitting on that tree stump watching everybody putting that wall down. He should help them but he´s still tired and maybe it´s also because he knows these are not the walls he needs to break through.
He´s caught up in his thoughts that he doesn´t realize that someone´s sitting down next to him, only when her voice gets through him, he sees her, JB, with her bright hair covered under a thick beanie. She shouldn´t take fashion advices from her older brother, FP thinks, but shuts up about it, because Jughead is probably the only thing that keeps her here.
They sit in silence for a while, and when they finally – finally – talk, it is JB who speaks first.
"Guess I finally have to go to school again", she says, tucking her jacket closer around her.
FP chuckles a bit, fiddling with his own jacket, trying to figure out what to say.
"It doesn´t have to be that bad", he gets out and doesn´t even know what he´s referring to. JB does not answer, she just sits there, just a feet away, a short distance he could cross in a second, his arm even long enough to reach out for her witout moving from his spot at all. But he doesn´t, instead he looks up into the sky as if the answer to this problem would fall from the sky like bird shit.
"JB", he starts, and curses himself for not being able to put his feelings into words. They are just too much, too much love, too much anger, too much fear, too much pain.
So when he finally brings out something comprehensible it´s just three words. "I am sorry", he says. And he means it.
four
It´s later that month and for some reason the town seems to be back to normal, and people can say what they want, FP hasn´t been that happy in a long time. Things are far from perfect. He´s still got to figure out a lot of stuff that has to do with the women in his life but he´s working at the diner and Jughead, JB and Gladys are all living with him in the trailer that is honestly too small for four people. FP can´t remember how they crowded in here before but than he thinks, that was when the kids were younger and smaller and he shared the bed with his wife and not the couch with his son.
Jughead isn´t home, he´s probably with Betty, getting their heads together on a new case and FP just simply hopes they do not get him involved this time. Gladys is out, too and he has no idea where she went, but JB´s lying on the couch watching TV while FP is cleaning the trailer the best he can.
He doesn´t even notice he´s singing the song, until he´s halfway into it and JB does call him out for it.
Down in the valley, the valley so low,
hang your head over, hear the wind blow.
Hear the wind blow dear, hear the wind blow,
hang your head over, hear the wind blow.
"You used to sing that song to me when I was sick", she says and FP stops on his tracks.
"I didn´t thought you´d remember", he mumbles, not looking at her.
"Of cause I do", she whispers, barely loud enough to not get drowned by the television.
He thinks that maybe he should say something, but then he just goes on cleaing the counter.
Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,
angels in heaven, know I love you.
He doesn`t know if she even notices herself, but he can clearly hear her sing along while he continues cleaning the counter.
If you don't love me love whom you please
Throw your arms 'round me give my heart ease
Give my heart ease love give my heart ease
Throw your arms round me give my heart ease.
five
The next day is the first day he sees her at Pop´s since she returned to Riverdale. He is taking an order from Cheryl Blossom – what´s stressfull enough – when the bell rings and the wind blows through the diner. He normally never looks up to see who came in, but this time he does and he smiles when he sees JB sitting down at the counter. He walks over there, starting to make Cheryls milkshake not trying to sound to desperate when he asks:
"What does a young lady like you bring in here?"
"Burgers and milkshake", she answers. "What else? I´m related to the late Jughead Jones, so I´m constalty hungry."
He shuckles and finishes the milkshake for Cheryl, than he pulls out the menu from behind the counter and gives it to her. "Take you´re time", he says, and he´s not only talking about the order.
six
In the middle of March everything is quiet fine and FP sometimes forgets to worry about how, when or if it all breaks down. He´s still working at Pop´s, no ones been shot, poisened or hung up since a while now and even Archie Andrews returned without the town breaking out into chaos (he knows that´s not fair on the kid, but the redhead just has this stupid aura around him that seems to make his entire world falling even if he doesn´t touch it, and FP can help but compare the kid to himself).
Yes, there were some minor setbacks (Jughead and Betty had broken up just to be back together two days later, but those two days were utterly stressful for everyone in the Jones family) and Riverdale High had to be closed just a week after being reopened because some idiot thought it would be funny to throw his last blast of Slivester Fireworks into the school toilet, but all in all it was fine.
He was not thinking of course about the conversations he and Gladys shared about her and JB returning to Toledo, because there was where Gladys had her business and JB had her friends, and he tried to forget about the call he expected from his probation officer (he used to forget he was still on probation till May). But sometimes his mind wandered off to those dark places where he would find himself all alone again, because he knew one simple mistake would make it all turn into dusk. One word, one action from him that was not well thought through and he would ruin it all.
When FP comes home that day Gladys isn´t there – he did not expect her to be - and Jughead is eating a boil of cereal so fast that FP knows that he will be off to the Coopers house within the next minutes again. It´s a routine he got used to, even if he knows it will stop eventually.
He takes off his jacket and shoes, and sits down onto the couch next to JB. Jughead is already on his way out, saying something about being back for dinner – it´s food, so why wouldn´t he – and than there´s just him and JB and the TV that shows some guys turning and old rotten car into a party caravan.
He doesn´t really watch the show, instead he tries to memorize everything about JB, like she could vanish into thin air the next moment.
"So, JB, I thought we could rent a movie and make some popcorn?", he says watching her for any reaction. But there is none, and he sighs because he is really trying here and moments like this give him the feeling, that it´s no use, it´s too late, the train has left the station.
But than she turns around and shurgs. "Sure, why not."
"Cool", he says, and stands up, maybe to put his shoes back on, or just to not have to lean further into conversation.
"And Dad?", she says all of a sudden. She smiles. "For you, I can be Jellybean."
He didn´t know his heart was still fit enough to do a backflip.
seven
It´s the first of April so FP still kinda has his hopes up that Gladys and Jellybean returning to Toledo is just a joke. But here they are two miles out of town, Jughead and him on their bikes and Gladys and Jellybean in the car, with all their stuff packed together.
Jughead is biting his lip and FP knows the boy doesn´t like it any more than he does, but in the end they all agreed it would be best if Gladys and Jellybean went back. For the next months. When summer vacation arrived, Jug and him would follow and try out living all together in enviorment that is not freaking Riverdale. It would be a whole new level of probation.
So here they are and FP thinks it should not be that weird to give your wife a goodbye kiss, but it´s been so long that he does not even know if they´re still a thing. They barely were during her stay here, were they?
But it also still feels great and that makes the sting a little bit less.
After it, Gladys turns to Jughead, tells him that she loves him, how he could come over everytime – for real this time – and FP stands there in front of his daughter, who´s grown almost as tall as him, and she´s only turning thirteen next month.
"Guess it´s goodbye, Dad", she says and looks as awkward as he feels.
"More like a see you later, Aligator situation", he answers, tyring to smiled.
She nods and than all of a sudden she pulls him into a hug. It´s fierce and different as he remembers, but that´s mainly because he can not simply pull her up into his arms anymore. He returns it, tries to hold her forever, to remember every tiny little detail, but as sudden as it started, she pulls away again.
And as he watches the two of them get into the car and slowly vanishing into the sun, he thinks, that maybe, it´s going to be alright.
At least until his son comes up with another stupid idea that might get them killed.
Built me a castle, forty feet high
So I an see him, as he rides by
I do know the timeline is probably fucked up in this storyand so is the geography but my mind wanted it that way.
Also I did not want to dive to deep into the real story of the lockdown etc. that the show gives us, because it´s to complicated. I simply wanted to lay the focuse on FP and JB. Also the idea of FP singing his kids a lullaby in which he tells them to "Send him a letter to ... Jail" got stuck into my head.
Hope you liked it. Leave a review. Constructive critism is welcome.