Really, this new abundance of episodes has got me itching to write some more. There won't be much dialogue in the first half. Sorry! Tell me if you like?
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It was rare that any of them were to see such a spectacular gleam of photic light this early in the morning. Given South Park's constantly frigid climate, any of these adolescents would have been pleasantly surprised to be greeted with such a bright stream of light past eleven AM. Except in July, when the temperature was absolutely sweltering and not one could bear to be outside, anyway.
But this wasn't July, it was September and the Junior Class had been granted the funds for a class trip to Lions Beach, New Mexico, which was only a five hour bus ride from South Park itself. And with only Mr. Hills (their lazy, safety-conscious History teacher) and Mrs. Kullberg (an elderly widow who was just about deaf and hardly competent) to chaperone, the excitement amongst the group was nearly tangible.
Four same-gender students were assigned to each condo near a resort on the beach. The two-story chalets were modest but livable with two bedrooms and a small kitchenette. The windows were big, offering a pleasant view of the lake.
Having arrived at half- past noon, the boys wasted no time unpacking, and instead headed straight for the beach.
Kenny soon grew impatient, and began complaining about the ridiculous amount of time it took the girls to get ready.
"Why are they even bothering to put on their bikinis?" He mused, anxiously tapping his foot. "Like, it's not like they're going to stay on by the time we're through with them!"
"Gross, Ken!" Kyle scolded with a roll of his eyes.
"You would say that, fag." Cartman commented.
"Shut up, Cartman!" Kyle shrieked. "I'm not a fag!"
Cartman chuckled. "Whatever you say, fag."
Defensively, Kyle slugged Cartman in the arm. This, predictably, caused Cartman to totally rage at him – thus resulting in a mediocre beach brawl, something no vacation fic can be without. However, this particular author is in fact horrendous at describing fight scenes and will hence skip to the aftermath.
Said aftermath consisted of Stan holding a thrashing Kyle back and helplessly attempting to calm him. Cartman was laughing at the sheer faggotry of it all.
This pathetic episode was interrupted when the female parties emerged from the other side of the area. Clyde whistled from the hammock in which he was casually nestled, and Kenny sauntered over to Bebe, whose delightful crimson bikini left very little to the imagination.
"Hot damn," Clyde remarked. "I didn't know Millie had such a fantastic ass."
"Red's isn't so bad, either." Kevin mused.
"You're only saying that because she's your girlfriend," Token chided, and Kevin only shrugged in response before turning his attention to his PSP.
Craig chivalrously laid a beach towel on the seashore, with an ironic expression of nonchalance plastered on his features. Within seconds, he had Tweek pinned down and they were making out ravenously. Wendy eyed them judgmentally; she had never been much of a fan of PDA, especially after she and Stan had broken up.
It wasn't long before Kenny got Bebe to dive into the ocean with him, and when they came up for air his hands were enveloping her chest and her lips were plastered to his. As he began to disentangle her bikini string, she pulled him down under again.
Butters was making a sandcastle.
A few kids took it upon themselves to organize a game of beach volleyball. The pupils who weren't otherwise engaged in sexual activities ("They're all a bunch of whores," Wendy cogitated), kicked off their sandals and began to play.
It wasn't too long before sundown that Stan observed the rosy tinge on Kyle's regularly ivory complexion. Not like he was examining his deliciously slender form, like he always did – no, of course not! Stan was simply concerned for his best friend's health, and Kyle's near-emaciated appearance certainly couldn't be healthy. Because denying his own blatant homosexuality would be far too cliché.
Ah, but I am a sucker for the classics. Make of that paragraph what you wish.
Right, like I was saying. Stan was checking Kyle out because apparently that is a habitual thing for him. He missed what would have been an awesome spike because of Kyle's distracting feminine sexiness. Obviously.
"Damn it, Stan! Quit checking out your boyfriend and get your head in the game!"
Yeah. That obvious.
Soon after, the sun went down and the management refused to light the torches past ten at night, which rendered all those without night vision (ie. everyone) basically blind.
The crowd then retired to their respective cabins, except for Kenny, who drowned. Bebe appeared unaffected.
Nothing interesting happened within the following few hours. Cartman called Stan and Kyle fags countless times before heading to his room to do whatever it is that Cartman does on his laptop. Kyle and Stan watched a movie. Maybe they made out. I don't know, I wasn't there and it really isn't all that important.
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"Fuck! Shit, fuck, god damn it!"
Stan awoke to the familiar shrill string of obscenities and groggily rubbed his eyes. "Shit, Kyle, close the window."
"Dude, fuck. I'm red."
Stan sat up and scanned Kyle's body. He raised his eyebrows, impressed. Clad in only his boxers (due to the ridiculously warm climate of the beach, get your mind out of the gutter!), Kyle's torso and arms were scathed a light pink color, while his shoulders, nose, and cheeks were just a hue lighter than crimson. It looked particularly painful.
"Oh my God, Kyle." Stan uttered. "You wore sunscreen, right?"
Kyle pondered this briefly, and then his expression became frightened. "…fuck. My mom's gonna kill me."
"Aw, dude." Stan winced in sympathy. "You of all people forgot to wear sunscreen. Unbelievable." Not unbelievable that Kyle had forgotten, because although he was impressively bright, he tended to be reckless and forgetful on terms of details. No, it was unbelievable given Kyle's incredibly fair complexion, which was exceptionally susceptible to UV damage.
Yes, Kyle was indeed screwed.
"Do you have any like, aloe lotion?" Stan asked, and Kyle dejectedly shook his head.
"Alright, I'll be right back. I'll go see if anyone else has anything." Stan offered. "Do you need anything else? Aspirin?"
"Yeah, actually. Ibuprofen would be great, thanks." Kyle flashed a smile at his raven-haired companion (or boyfriend or lover or however you wish to imagine them), and Stan was out the door in a flash.
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It wasn't long before Stan returned with a bag of essentials for sunburn relief. Kyle was sprawled on his bed, absently staring at the fan which was running full blast.
"Hey," Kyle greeted. "That was fast."
"Tweek came prepared," Stan informed, and pulled out a bottle of milk and a washcloth. Ignoring the redhead's bewildered expression, he dampened the cloth with the milk and dabbed it across Kyle's abdomen.
"Is that really supposed to help?" Kyle asked.
"It creates like, a protein film. Helps with discomfort, I think." Stan said. He then handed a bottle of Gatorade and two Ibuprofen tablets to Kyle.
"I'm so pissed," Kyle complained. "I probably can't go out in sunlight for the rest of the week. This sucks."
"Like a ginger?" Stan teased.
Without missing a beat, Kyle whacked him on the head with the half-empty Gatorade bottle.
Stan laughed, obviously unharmed, and proceeded to cover Kyle in an abundance of magical aloe gel. When he was done applying it to Kyle's cheeks, he made it a point to feel his forehead.
"You probably have a fever," He figured.
"Fucking sunburn," Kyle seethed.
"It's not so bad," Stan comforted, setting the aloe dispenser on the table beside Kyle. "I'll stay inside with you if you want, I really don't mind."
"I won't be much fun to be around, I can barely move." Kyle reminded.
"Well, let's see if we can get you to the couch!" Stan challenged, and swiftly carried the Jew, bridal-style, to the miniature living room and placed him on said couch.
They then proceeded to spend the remainder of the afternoon watching common rate programs on TV, Kyle still without a shirt.
"Fags!"
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Sorry for the lack of dialogue in the beginning. I tried to set the mood so this wasn't exclusively Stan and Kyle making out. As much as I would like that to happen. Lol.
What did you think? Review!