Title: Longing for Her
Disclaimer: The characters of "Roswell" belong to Jason Katims, Melinda Metz, WB, and
UPN. They are not mine and no infringement is intended.
Pairings: Mi/L
Rating: Teen
Summary: Six years after the gang has left Roswell Michael's thoughts on Liz and his life.
Author's Note: This is a rewrite of my short story Longing. I rewrote a lot of it but kept some of the original. I came across Longing on my hard drive and I wished I had ended it a different way. So feeling inspired I rewrote it because I also found what I had started of a sequel to this story. I haven't written anything in quite awhile but I have started a rewrite on my story Unplanned Mistakes. I love that story and I really want to finish it so if anyone is interested in either story let me know.
Thank you so much for reading.
Longing for Her
A strong persistent yearning or desire, especially one that cannot be fulfilled
My attraction to her started years before when we were just children. Way back before I could explain the feelings that were pulsing through me.
The first time I saw her she was skipping rope with her friends; laughing as if she didn't have a care in the world. I feel in love with that attitude that just seemed to come off of her in waves; a carefree attitude that I never been allowed even as a small child.
I wish everyday that I could give her just a small part of that innocence back; that carefree attitude.
I saw her first long before Max ever showed his face at our elementary school. That should make her mine; if we go by the old school ground rules but life has not been that simple in a long time.
Max has never played by the rules and it is my job as second in command just to follow behind whatever life alternating mistakes he has made.
She had her way out but she choice to stand by him and come along with us on this journey; this journey that will never end as long as we are all still breathing.
As much as I wish she had chosen a different path; the selfish part of me will never regret her decision to stay with us.
We have been on the road for six years now and every day I fall more in love with her.
She looks up from her journal and gives me a small smile that takes me breath away.
Giving her my signature smirk back she looks back down and continues to write. I have tried to get her to let me read her new journal many times but she always says no.
After I read her original journal the first time way back when this journey between all of us had just began; I felt like I had a piece of her soul that no one not even Max could have. That night I wanted to kiss her, it killed me not to.
I have always put Max's feelings in front of my own. I think it's a DNA trait that they stuck me with; assholes. So deep down I know I will never make her mine.
It was easier to avoid my feelings when Maria was around because even though my feelings for Liz have always been strong, I know in my heart I really did love Maria. I knew she would never make it on the road with us but I don't blame her. If I had a chance to leave this all behind I would in a heartbeat.
Then again I could never leave Liz; she has become my rock. Almost best friends; the only true friend I have ever had that I wasn't destined to be connected too. Spending hours and hours in a cramped van will either bring you closer together or break you completely.
Strangely enough as Maria and I drifted farther and farther apart; Liz and I became closer and closer.
Max never thought anything of it because he knows I will never touch what is his. The night Maria told me she was leaving, she told me it was so I could be happy and stop pretending with her.
Liz stands up distracting me from my thoughts of Maria; stretching her abnormally short legs and arms.
She makes her way over to me and takes a seat. The smell of the cheap stolen motel shampoo making its way to my nose.
After years of moving around we have seemed to have settled down in a small town in Kansas population 400.
"Thinking about Maria?" She asks while looking over at me with those big chocolate eyes that I could get lost in for days.
"Something like that," I chuckle making her smile at me.
She looks down at her wedding ring spinning it on her finger. Her whole attitude has changed lately; even with as close as we have become I can't figure out what is wrong.
"I miss everyone sometimes." She is referring to Isabel, Kyle and Maria of course who of all gone their separate ways for us.
"Yeah but I've said all along we are better off apart. Besides Isabel and Kyle are great; they found what you and Max have in each other." As much as I hate to admit it Max and Liz are soul mates; always have been always will be.
"Yeah," she says looking down at her ring again almost studying it.
"Talk to me Liz, what's been going on? No one else will know Max won't be home for hours." Max and I have terrible jobs working on a local farm in the area but anything to keep food and shelter.
"It's just not working anymore Michael." The tears that she has been holding back for a long time come flooding to her eyes.
"What's not working?" I know what she's talking about but I can't stand the thought that she may want to leave me too.
"Max and I have seemed to have changed so much that I can't even find us anymore."
"Hey, I'm sure things will get better." Trying to comfort her the only way my stone walls will allow me to; distantly.
"I have tried so hard Michael to find the spark that we always use to have but I think I know the problem."
"What's that?" Hoping to God it's not a sexual issue because I know I can't handle thinking about that.
"I fell out of love with him at some point in these last five year Michael. I am just realizing it now." Her sobs over take her; I pull her into my arm not wanting to see her cry anymore.
"Hey, it's okay if anyone can figure this out it's you two. Just stop crying Liz, please for me."
She pulls her head up with tears still sliding down her face at full force. My eyes dart to her perfect lips as her sexy pink tongue comes out to wet them in a way that makes thinking about anything else impossible.
"When did you know that it was over with Maria?"
"I really didn't know till after she left. Her being gone gave me the freedom to admit about how unhappy we both were." It also gave me the freedom to obsess over another girl.
"I think it's over Michael. I feel so trapped when he is here like I have to live up to the person he remembers me as not the person I have become. I am not a child anymore wishing that my soul mate will save me and make everything better."
"Hey, don't kill the dream Missy; I am still waiting for my knight in shiny armor to take me away from all this." I gesture to the dump we are currently living in.
Liz lets out a loud laugh that I haven't heard in such a long time. Before I know it I have a pillow thrown in my face, "Hey what was that for? He's not going to want the merchandise if it's damaged."
"Oh the merchandise huh?" She says throwing the pillow back at me hitting me square in the chest.
"Oh that's it Parker." I throw the pillow back at her catching her off guard enough to start tickling her which I know is her true weakness.
"Okay Michael, I'm sorry I give up." She yells trying to wiggle away from my tickly fingers. I am so caught up in our tickle war that it comes as a surprise we both fall from the couch landing with Liz under me.
For a minute we just stare at one another; both not sure what we should do next.
"Michael, have you ever thought about being with me." Making my breath catch for what seems like hours but is merely seconds.
"Maybe once or twice," I tell her not wanting to give away how much I have wanted her all these years.
"I think about it all the time." Her eyes meet mine.
Our faces slowly make their way closer together not really sure who is going to make the first move or if either one of us is brave enough to take that step. Liz surprises me by brushing her lips against mine in a slow experimental way; we pull back.
"I can't do this to Max Michael." She whispers to me.
"I understand." I really do understand which is what really kills me.
The End