(Cartman's POV, Mr Mackey's office)
Shut up! Shut the fuck up!
This bell is pissing me off! It's been ringing for 3 seconds now! Shut your goddamn mouth or so help me I'll rip your metallic nuts off!
5 seconds now and it has officially been declared over. That was the longest ringer ever at this elementary school, it's just not kewl.
I guess I should tell you where I am, since you gaywads are aching so hard for my location you basically have a boner.
I'm in Mr Mackey's office, sitting on a stupid chair with my stupid mother sitting next to me, with the stupid over inflated head attached to the skinny body himself, otherwise known as Mr Mackey. God fuck, this situation sucks the balls of every slut we have in South Park. Apparently, I was sent to this bull crap because I'm in trouble. Who gives a fuck? I sure don't!
"Mrs Cartman, we have had it with your sons behavior, mmkay?"
Said behavior represents me being harmful towards a kid named Billy fucking Turner. What kind of a name is Turner? What a freaking loser! What a fag! Ha! But I didn't use my awesome skills of hurting for a last name, no, that's gay. You'll find out though, I know you will.
"Little Billy Turner is how being treated at the hospital!"
He shouldn't be at the hospital! He should be in a place of torture, a place of unkindness and suffer where he could hopefully rot for saying something so awful!
"Eric, why would you do such a thing?" Came the upset voice of my mother. Is she questioning my authoritah?
Rolling my eyes and resisting the urge to scoff, "I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to the school flagpole"
I wasn't avoiding their eyes boring into mine, goddamn it no!, I was simply trying to not look at the buttfuckers. They're differences! Don't look at me like that or I'll skin your dick off!
"You know that's not the point!"
Mr Mackey, put that finger away or I'll rip it off like paper! You hear that, just like paper, son of a bitch!
"I'm sorry I handcuffed Billy Turner's ankle to the school flagpole, and then gave him a hacksaw, and then told him I poisoned his lunch milk and to get to the only antidote in time would be to saw through his leg"
"That's very naughty Eric" my mother chastises
me. Goddamn she's such a buttfucking suck up.
And, hey! Isn't she supposed to be taking my side? Not this skinny ass uptight dickhole! Goddamn it, my mother should know better!
I had to defend myself, and do it precisely and quickly!
"Well he called me chubby!"
I think I just struck something within the whore sitting beside me, and the cocksucker of a counselor across from me. They looked shocked and a little unsettled, I can see it in their eyes, that I go to a level of sawing through a leg, excited to see blood gushing out of Billy's leg and spilling all over the floor. I was feeling a little bloodthirsty at the time, why, I can't help feeling like that, it's part of me.
"We have tried at this school to make Eric understand that there are boundaries, mmkay? But frankly we believe his behavioral problems started home!"
Well, no shit asshole, you figured out that bullcrap on your own? If so, I give you a C-. You're breaking my balls with that bullshit you're trying to force on my pathetic mother.
"I know. I know he's out of control"
What?! How dare that bitchy whore agree with this asshole?! Mom, you're supposed to be on my side, you slutty motherfucker!
"But, you don't know what it's like!"
Now she's crying. Must need to roll my eyes and slap her, must need to—.
"I'm sorry, it's just, he seems to get worse every day, he just never listens!"
Now she's going in hysterics. Having a couple tissues and bawling like a alcoholic with no alcohol. But in her case, it's me she needs, it's me she needs to be .. obedient. Fuck. That! But, my twisted little heart is feeling a little defensive of my mother, as this piece of shit Mackey made my mother cry.
"Well, nice going asshole, you made my mom cry"
Don't give me that look, you son of a bitch! Don't be all confused as if you're wondering 'why are you blaming me?'
Of course I'm blaming you dicktard! She wouldn't be a sniveling crappy mess if it wasn't for your complaints and accusations of her son.
"It's not him, it's you Eric!"
What? You mean, I'm the one causing this drama?
"I don't know what to do with you!"
And she's back to crying. What a little bitch. Can't take some trouble that I cause and can't suck it up and deal with it like a man! The only thing she can suck up and deal with is her multiple sexual inter- courses! Sucking up 2-3 dicks in her mouth while playing around with the man's balls! Yes, mother I know about your sex toys and your sex slaves and what differs from your sexual screams to a frightened scream.
However, I needed to pretend like I cared about her loud sobs. A little dose of manipulation should do it.
"Sure you do, you're a great mom!"
We're just getting started. My twisted heart loves to wrap itself around her brain and twist her mind to obey my own.
(Cartman)- Who's got the greatest mom in the world? I do
My mom is number one in my heart, it's true
(Cartman and Mrs Cartman)- My mom's the best mom
Better than your mom
It's Singing together in harmony!
(Back to cartmans POV)
See, making that dumb song in the past and forcing it in her mind to make her feel better and tricking her into her thinking that she's the best mom did the trick instead of physical assault.
"Mrs Cartman"
Oh. The cocksucking counselor is still here. I hope he dies of aids, like Kyle. God, I hate Kyle! That sneaky son of a Jew! How dare that bitchy Jesus killer enter my mind when I'm at schewl when he's not even present today at this punk ass elementary building!
Forget you Kahl! I don't need you! Never did!
Anyways...
"I know this is extremely difficult, but there is help out there for people like you. Have you ever heard of a show called Nanny 911?"
Mom and I were having a super weak family moment, until the piece of shit opened his unnaturally large mouth.
Dude, get the fuck out of here! I'll kick your nuts so hard they'll go through your ass if you don't cooperate! Take that as a fair warning.
(Cartman's house)
Yes, yes! This fucker's head will explode with flesh and blood shooting in the musty air, and will coat the ground with the thick crimson liquid and fleshy remains!
With the press of a button, the motherfucker I was beating the shit out of, burst and his head fell right off, and he was now lifeless with the blood gushing out of his neck and made a puddle of scarlet surrounding him.
My insides were boiling with cruel happiness, wanting to try this on a living thing, it could be an animal or a human, whatever's living, I needed them to be cut open, skinned alive, etc. Just be dead and make me happy, yea?
Knock-knock-knock.
I don't look once from my sweet videogame, but I do wait for the usual footsteps of my mother to answer the door.
Nothing. Is she trying to get me pissed off? It's definitely working.
Knock-knock-knock.
"Mom, are you deaf?! Somebody's at the door!"
Maybe that will get that lazy slut off her feet and do her work. No way am I opening the door, as it's her job to open whatever goddamn looking hippie is present, as long it's not actually hippies. Then we'll have a problem.
"Yes I think it's the nanny, poopsikins"
I would've told the bitch to get out of the way as this video game is so killer, but my mouth didn't even care to fly out curse words, not this time. And don't you think I'm gonna stop cursing or I'll kick your nuts until they fly out of your mouth! You hear, out your fucking mouth!
The nanny? The only thing sweet about her white ass is the fact I will be on television. I know she's white.
"Killer, I'm gonna be on TV now"
I burp for extra effect. This video game is so cool! I just killed another mofo! Hurray for me.
The faint sounds of conversation reach my ears, but no matter. I need to find a gay mofo and blast his fucking legs apart!
I was so into this awesome game, I didn't notice another bitch come up to me. Maybe if I ignore her, she'll get upset and leave my white ass alone.
"And you must be Eric"
Shut the fuck up, I'm playing a game!
Just ignore her, and only pay attention in shooting someone. Good idea.
But, I'm also hungry. That's something I can't ignore.
"Mom, I want a Twinkie"
That's an order! Don't starve me, skinny slut! I need food to boost up my energy and to kill this motherfucker on the screen once and for all!
"Oh, alright dear"
I can't focus on anything else but this video game, but if I wanted to, I bet my mother's face looks defeated and her body language obedient.
"Hold on Mrs Cartman, there are gonna be some rule changes around here, Eric. First of all.. no video games until chores are done"
That made me look up from my playing. Is she serious? What a lying bastard this woman is! I look up from my video game, without pausing it, and look and behold. She's a lard ass! I laugh for about three seconds at her weight, and at her pathetic joke of no video game! Now that's hysterical ... laugh with me!
"I'm serious. Let's put down the video game and go to the kitchen!"
This hippo thinks she can command me? Bitch please! I'd rather get along with Jew Kahl then listen to her dirty Brit accent.
She even has the audacity to point to where the kitchen is!
With a crooked smile, I mockingly reply "no thanks I'd rather not"
Ha! I even said it in her accent! I think I got the English vibes down better than this bitch with the fucked up teeth and fucked up face!
"Right, then I'm going to have to take it"
Abruptly my controller gets snatched right out of my hands. What the fuck is this fat ass doing?! Trying to steal my controller without her shriveled up vagina getting kicked is pissing me off! But one step at a time.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I demand to her, as she waddles over to my system and unplugs everything set up to my television! The nerve of this white hippo!
"Come on"
She's waddling over to the kitchen... with my freaking Xbox!
I follow her into my kitchen to get my beloved Xbox back. I was in the middle of killing a motherfucker, stupid lard ass!
"This video game is going right her on the counter until we've done some chores. Now, first thing we're going to do is make your bed"
My laughter bubbles up to the surface again, but I don't release it. Does this over inflated hippo think I'm actually gonna do chores? What a dumb fucker she is! Ha! The only thing I'm gonna work on is killing more white people on the screen.
Reaching up and grabbing my precious, I casually walk back to my living room to set everything back up. If you count four steps in before it got ripped out of my hands again!
"Eric, no! This is not acceptable!"
Acceptable my ass! I don't give bull crap about your rules! You're an inflated cow that has been run over!
"Stop trying to bogart my Xbox, ya fat bitch!"
That struck something in the white hippo. Frankly, I don't care, I just need to play my fucking videogame!
"Alright, that's it! You're going to time out"
"Time out?" I question with a mix of confusion and disbelief. Is this fat bitch serious?
The tubby white hippo drags me over to a high stool, then freaking picks me up without permission,
and places me on this wooden piece of crap. She's an even bigger piece of crap. Every time she talks, it feels like huge loads of shit coming out of a toilet.
"Whenever you are naughty Eric, you're going to sit on this stool for 5 minutes"
She's waiting for my response. She's looking at me not caring about the fact that she's pissing me off. I wanted to gouge her eyes out.
"And, what exactly keeps me on the stool?"
I'm trying to test her patience, see how long she'll last with a child like me.
"It's the time out stool. You can't get down until the time is up"
Put that damn finger away! God, it's like a fucking hobby of hers to keep pointing at the ceiling! See those knifes behind you, I'll cut your pointies off!
Then we'll see how well you could point in the air!
However, I needed to get under her skin, provoke the hippo into leaving me and my mom.
Smoothly jumping off the stool, I try another comment that could possibly anger her.
"Woah! How'd I do that?"
It's simple, you just get off the crafted wood and go on with your life. Now, I can finally murder the mofos! Take that sons of bitches!
It was a great silence, if only for a few seconds, as I was walking back to my sweet Xbox, but she had to open her large hippo maw.
"Eric you have to stay in time out!"
Bitch please! Like I'm gonna listen to your super weak, screeching rules.
"Umm" Was all I said, but the word after is gonna be super fun to say. What will it be? Guess!
"No"
Ha! Isn't that amazing? Telling an amateur nanny that I'm not listening to her bullshit? Awesome.
All I got in my hands was the controller, before the son of a bloated bitch, grabbed my controller, left it dangling from the counter, and my anger started to make itself known on my face.
"Alright seriously, you're starting to piss me off now"
What's even more irritating is that she was holding my hand and dragging me even more so to that piece of shit I was sitting on moments ago, the pathetic stool.
She picks me up and sits me down on the stool more forcefully then the first. I could feel in her clenched hands she wanted to do more than just place me on this crafted wood, perhaps crash my head on the stool?
"Eric, you need to listen to me"
Like hell I will.
"This is very important"
No, it's really not.
To my concerned mother, she tried to reassure her by saying "I'm getting down to eye level with Eric so that I can talk to him on his level"
Now her crappy face, with her ugly teeth and messed up nose, is close to my perfect American face.
"Eric, you need to understand why you're being punished, alright?"
Putting emphasis on the word 'why' isn't gonna help donkey balls.
"I'm just gonna get down as soon as you move"
That got me somewhere. Her face contorted into anger and she was no longer doing her stupid hippie crap of helping, for now. Her decision was to not move from her kneeling position and see how long that will last to keep me on the damn stool.
"Well then, I'll just stand right here!"
Like that could keep me from leaving! Just because you're in my way and your disfigured face the only thing in my view, doesn't mean I'm quitting from leaving this goddamn stool.
Snorting up all the spit I could in my mouth, I gathered it all together and spat dead center in her mouth, her mouth was open so it was a perfect shot. I get points for that.
That got her to move and recoil in disgust. She put her hands over her mouth and made a disgusted noise to make me feel better.
"He spit in my mouth!" Was all I cared to hear from the hippo before my Xbox was rightfully in my hands again, and I left without a trace.
XX
"Don't stop believing. Hold on to that fe-al-ang!"
And.. I think we're good to go! Good as in I can finally beat the gray colored shit out of the mofos.
Walking back to my couch with my controller back in its rightful place, my hands, I need no distractions in my gamed murders.
I never got to get away from the TV, as the fucked up inflated cow and my mother came crawling back into this room.
Now what? Is one of them gonna apologize for having this disfigured hippo trailing everywhere I go?
"Eric, can I talk to you for a quick second?"
You don't sound disgusted anymore. Is she gonna use some psychological crap on me? I can tell where these things lead.
And get your fucking hands off me!
"Why are you so angry?"
Simple, because you're wasting my time with your goddamn mouth spurting things out with help and support to cure me, and you took away one of the most important things in my life.
"Because you took my Xbox" was my straightforward answer.
"Is this about more than your video game? Are you feeling angry at me because you think I'm here to change your life?"
That's right.
"Well yea"
Now I sound less angry, and more calm and tolerant.
"And you're feeling like I have no right to come and tell you how to live"
Yes! You have it solved! I don't need you! You're a pathetic nanny, and a dirty bastard for not letting me play my fucking videogame. I'll kill her rotting vagina! Or is there other options besides harming genitals?
But, my anger didn't show. I needed to give a childish response to this fat bitch.
"Yea, I guess so"
Nailed that. Nailed it hard like an erection and well like a good little piece of meat.
I was looking down the whole as the.. I'm choking this word out.. the nanny is explaining to my mother
about taking the time to get to know the child's feelings.
I was still looking down as the nanny turned her attention back to me. I can perfectly play the part of a pussy child- upset, showing your weak spot, and being afraid to take a stand.
"What else are you feeling Eric?" She asks me gently, still having her hands on my shoulders. In this moment, I won't shrug them off harshly.
"I'm feeling confused because I don't understand why you became a nanny"
That's what I'm feeling. Now, dig into her heart and see what's she's feeling. It could be like reverse therapy.
"Me? Well because I love children, like you"
Those last words got me a stroke to the cheek. Its fine now if you're touching my shoulders but don't go overboard by petting my face.
I'm still keeping this sweet childish mask on, I need to play with her feelings.
"Right, but if you love children so much, how come you're not a mommy?"
She hesitates before answering. I can feel she's getting a little uncomfortable but is covering it up to act like my questions aren't bothering her.
"Oh, I just never had kids"
"Why not?" Goddamn I sound like a young naive child, but just keep this facade up for now. All in good time.
Now she's getting uncomfortable, it's visible on her face.
"It just.."
Just what? Just say it. I won't be too nasty.
"It just didn't happen"
Interesting. But, I know the real reason.
"You're sterile, is that it?"
Not a guess, but a fact. The truth if you will. Nobody wanted to get her pregnant, nobody wanted to share a baby with her, and nobody cared enough to put their genitals in hers. How do you think I knew that her uterus was shriveling up, becoming totally worthless? Just by her appearance, it shares a little of her past. Even the little facts can be the most useful to use, the biggest things to manipulate.
My plaything, I mean, my nanny, leanedbackand took her hands off me. Thank god. She looked shocked that I knew her secret of becoming a nanny. I'm not holding back into my interrogation, coercion and/or manipulation.
"No, that's too convenient of an excuse. Nobody ever wanted to have babies with you, is that it?"
Don't deny it, I know you better than you know yourself. You were desperate for sex, for a kid, as you love children, but nobody very wanted to because they thought you were too ugly, or because
you're too much of a fat bitch to get the penis inside. No that's too pathetic of an excuse. This woman loved kids a whole ton, but nobody gave her the satisfaction of being pregnant. What she loves, she never got to have herself.
"Always the moms maid and never the mom"
She has that classic British look on her face. Jaw dropping with the ugly teeth showing, making her face even more fucked up.
"Must be hard on you. Knowing that the years are ticking away, your friends all getting married and all the while your uterus is slowly shriveling away, drying up, becoming totally worthless"
Her face contorted into rage, while my face remained unfazed, body unflinching, as she stood up and put her hands on her IMAX wide hips.
"Why you..you.. you little bastard! How dare you!"
How dare me? How dare you yell at my honesty? It's the freaking truth! Are you too scared to admit my truthfulness has broken through your crappy idea of becoming a nanny?
"Eric, naughty!"
Shut up mom! We're having a moment between the amateur nanny and the kid who's not afraid to tell the truth.
"What kind of monster would-"
I felt myself getting picked up in her anger, her one arm clutching where my neck is, and the cord attached to my controller lifts up as I was lifted up.
"Yes let the anger come!"
Yes, that's good anger you got there.
"Strike me down while you can!"
Just don't strike my Xbox.
"But it won't make your dried up ovaries any more fertile!"
That struck a cord inside her, another one in that over sized body, and although she softly puts me down, her announcement is shrill and hard to the ears, especially to my ears. This hippo is yelling and making wild hand gestures, but the words coming out of her mouth is what I needed. I screwed her job over and twisted her mind into quitting.
"That's it! I'm not doing this!"
That's great with me, as it was my plan to get you out, but it didn't do so good with mother, as she
looks upset about my former nanny's quit of her job.
"But we really need some help!"
The hippo shakes her head, frantically clearing any thoughts of trying to help another kid, then, she looks down at me scared out of her wits. She looks on edge and nervous that I'll exploit another one of her secrets. Now's not the time to make use of her life, I just did it not so long ago. What I need to do is play my fucking videogame! No more assholes and no more distractions.
"Find yourself another nanny..television show!"
She's gone, her bloated ass and her fucked up face are officially out of my house!
(Cartman's House)
Knock-knock-knock.
My mother has told me about another son of a bitch. Is he a minority? Is he white? My questions will be answered once the front door opens. I'm not opening the damn door, that's the hookers' job.
My mom politely gets the door, I roll my eyes in disgust as she kindly invites the unknown colored fucker in.
He's not white! He's brown! No fucking way! But my eyes were seeing the skin of a minority, so it's a yes way. Possibly Hispanic? I don't care what ethnicity he is, just get out of my house before I kick your foreign balls!
"So tell me the child's problems"
Problems? I don't have any problems! I wanted to skin his dick off and then sell its parts to Caucasians.
"Well, he's just out of control" says my mother with her eyes looking at the floor, rather then the Spanish jackass.
"He never listens to me, and he pretty much runs my life"
Damn it all! Suck my dick mother for saying it with casualty! You're supposed to say it with emotion like you're an over sensitive pussy with mental problems! Bitch.
"So the child needs to learn that he's not the most important person in the house"
Who the fuck does this asshole think he is?! Not most important? Bitch I'll fuck you up! And kick your ass!
"You can stop talking being my back, I'm right here fruitcake"
Damn it, these gay little pussies aren't even acknowledging my presence! What a bunch of crap
these two are made of!
"See, I'm not looking at the child, I'm not acknowledging the child, I'm just letting the child know I'm not interested in him"
Not, not interested in me? What the fuck are you talking about!
"Not interested in me?" I questioned confused, confused and definitely pissed as to why this asshole is acting like I'm non existent!
"See the child thinks your world revolves around him, because it does. Because everything he does, gets a response from you"
Well duh. But I don't see why you're being such a inconsiderate asshole the minute you walk into my house!
I started to say "Well I don't see why-" before I got interrupted. An interruption of being pinched in my neck!
What the fuck is wrong with this asshole?! First it's saying I'm not worth shit to be seen, then he says I'm not interesting enough, and for the fucking epilogue, I get my neck pinched like it's totally alright with this Mexican dick to physically touch me!
My mom looks worried that her son is being touched by a minority, and I shout 'hey!' in anger after my neck gets a little heartless pinch.
"Don't look at the child, just keep looking at me. Let the child know we're having a conversation"
Conversation my ass! If that conversation involves me being abused in the neck!
"Mom, this guy doesn't-"
There it is again! Son of a goddamn bitch! This guy deserved a punch to the balls and a skinning of his dick.
"What is that you're doing?" My mother carefully asks the idiotic foreigner.
That's what I'd like to know! This man is pissing me off, his presence alone when he walked in made me want to kick his minoritized nuts!
"Dogs show their dominance by nipping each other on the neck, but it works equally well on the child. I just use 2 fingers, nip at the child's neck, doesn't hurt the child, just lets him know I am dominant"
Is he seriously comparing me to a dog?! That's also like calling me a Jew! God, I hate both of those!
I start out indignantly, "Look Mexican"
Cause thats what he is!
"If you really think you can-"
Another fucking pinch to my sensitive skin!
"KNOCKITOFF!"
Of course, the Mexican jackass does another pinch to my neck, with his so called two fingers. I swear I felt an extra in that grip of this minoritized asshole! He's cheating!
"See, I'm not validating his bad behavior with either negative or positive response"
Suck my white dick, motherfucker!
"Oh, that's very interesting"
Interesting?! This Caucasian bastard is pinching me the fuck up, and you say it's interesting, mother?!
"I think the first thing we need to work on is some exercise"
I was in a daze all right, processing the facts that my slutty mother is agreeing with this Hispanic whore!
"He's fat and all this pent up energy-"
I damn well interrupted! I'm not fat, asshole, I'm well thin for my age!
"I'm not fat!"
Guess what he did? Another squeeze to my flesh!
My hand went up instantly, reflexively, to rub the spot where he keeps gripping and squeezing.
"Do you take walks with your son?"
What do you think?! Since you called me fat, buttfucker, you should know where your intelligence lies. Use your mind and just know, for once in your worthless life, that I don't take those things called walks! Unless it's around the house.
"Well, no I don't"
I bared my teeth, ready to give an animalistic growl, and to bite his face, and claw it up, I was so pissed as he suggested a walk to help me release all of my 'pent up energy'.
"Well, take your son for a walk"
(The streets of South Park)
He only got away with a few scratches to his face.
I had to take my gloves off, claw his arms like a rabid dog, until he gave me this navy blue harness attached to a leash he was holding, as if I was an actual dog!
"Ey!"
I had to speed walk and get my harness covered body fucking dragged as he pulls me along disapprovingly still like I'm a dog who's not being obedient. Fuck you Hispanic jackass!
"You think this is funny, you son of a bitch?!"
I was trying with a lot of strength, using it to try and break out of this piece of shit harness. Albeit pathetically. It was like 'god fuck! This stupid crap is stronger than it appears! Must fight it!'.
"Once again, I am the one going for a walk. It's about me, the child's lucky enough to come along"
Fuck you! Why isn't my mother doing shit like usual?! That slut is supposed to be helping me, that slut!
"Mom this is degrading!"
Stop touching me asshole! Every time I talk, a new tight squeeze to my flesh is produced, and I'm probably getting a few bruises now, thanks to this loathsome fuckup of a man! A minority keeps touching my white skin!
I almost lose it right then and there. I wildly scream out unintelligible words with being restrained on this
revolting harness and wrestle around with being restrained.
It's pathetic. It's useless. It's to no avail.
The first tug of my leash doesn't stop me from being
hysterical. The second tug slows me down, but doesn't bring me to a halt. The third slowly brings me into exhaustion, I tried getting loose but as you can see it was fucking futile, useless, a pathetic attempt.
"Mooom"
Nothing.
"Moooom"
Still not a goddamn thing.
"Why don't you try it now? Take your son"
I feel myself being handed over to my mom, this is just too much. I can see people momentarily watching me, some even the kids at my elementary school! God fuck!
"Mom, seriously people are seeing me!"
These 2 assholes don't give a shit! I'm so seriously, get me the fuck outta of this bitch!
"Good, just keep your confidence, shoulders back, eyes straight ahead"
I can't believe it. My mother is listening to this Hispanic fucking jackass! She's not even following me, her only child.
"The child can pick up on that confidence, learning he's supposed to follow you, not lead you"
I look up at her, putting a mask of sadness, where my real face is pissed the hell out of this bitch, angry.
"Mom, don't you love me? Can't you see I'm unhappy right now?"
Woah, woahhh.
She's fucking pinching me too, that bitch!
I got 'tsst'd' in the neck, once again, but now, it's by my freaking mother!
"Mom!"
I really didn't think she wouldn't follow the other whore, the dick of a man who treats me like a freaking dog!
"Good, Mrs. Cartman, good"
I swear he smirked at me, I don't know if I'm hallucinating, but that motherfucker is either going to get his ass kicked, his balls kicked, or his dick chopped off! This is brutal savagery! And I won't stand for it!
(Back at Cartman's House, living room)
"It is important to understand that dogs run in packs. And one dog is always dominant: the pack leader"
Again with the dog descriptions! Well, he is the dog whisperer, but I'm not one of them! Get the fuck out of here bitch! God, This guy is such a jizzy cock!
"Goddamn it, stop ignoring me!"
These hellish dick fuckers are still at it. I'm not giving up, some kids may have been defeated by their parent and some Mexican cock sucker, but I'm not one of them.
"You must assert yourself as pack leader with dominant energy"
Oh no, no no no. You are not putting your dickish ways into my mothers bitch tits.
"All right"
Goddamn it mother! Stop agreeing with this Mexican!
"This is abuse!"
It is abuse, I say!
"I am a child, and I'm entitled to attention!"
Kids aren't supposed to be ignored! They're supposed to be addressed, acknowledged!
My mother pinched me on the neck again, to no fucking surprise there! Should I be?! After all the physical assaults my neck had to put up with!
"Quit it mom!"
She's not gonna listen, she's listening to the other slut in the room, the bastard of the week, the Mexican himself. Don't even think about applauding for the jackass! He's done nothing but embarrass me, mock me of my position.
"It doesn't seem to work as well when I do it"
Then stop doing it, for Christ's sake!
"Let me show you how to express the dominant energy"
Like you have anything good or even decent in that paper bag! You're a ball licking, jizzed up Mexican donkey!
"What I have done is brought over some Kentucky Fried Chicken"
Just like that, my anger reformed into hunger, my mind at peace.
"Ooo, Colonel?"
Now I'm trailing behind him, without even giving him a bad nickname like I have been doing before, he better give me some goddamn chicken! I hold an attachment to KFC!
"I'm going to eat first, because that is what the pack leader does"
I need that chicken, I need the chicken immediately! I'm so seriously, that stuff does wonders to my body, it makes me act like I've been starved and I'll get cured with the fresh tender chicken pieces, Its so finger licking good, must have some chicken!
"G-gimme the chicken, gimme some chicken"
I reach out ready for this Mexican asshole to be nice for once in his fucked up life, to hand the bucket of KFC, but I'm ignored! Again! That motherfucker!
Ahh!
He pinched me again, just because I wanted some finger licking, tender snapping food!
"What are you doing?! I want chicken! Gimme the fucking chicken, gimme the fucking chicken!"
Through my demands of 'gimme the goddamn chicken!', I hear the holder of my dearest food proclaim "I'm not gonna acknowledge the child's attempt at aggressive dominant behavior"
Then he does the unbelievable. He hands the chicken over to my mother, and she gratefully, freely eats the chicken, my chicken!
I am a fucking child, and I deserve food to help me get through in life! And Kentucky Fried Chicken is one of them!
"Mom, gimme some chicken, I want some chicken mom!"
She won't give me anything! Did her love for me die out, just like my former nanny's uterus? Does my affection for KFC not even matter to her? Is it worthless?
"We won't reward him until he's in a calm, submissive behavior"
Stop treating me like a dog! I'm not! I'm a fucking human being who needs some goddamn food! Specifically chicken from these two pussy whores.
"Goddamn it I am not a dog!!"
Says the same person who jumps up and down like an excited mutt for meat.
"Gimme the chicken, gimme the chicken, I want-want chicken! Give me the chicken!"
And those were just a few screams of want and cravings. The rest is just me as a broken track record of longing for my savory delectable meat.
"We need him to be relaxed and submissive"
Ok, ok. I'll try to work this thing out and see how it goes and maybe, hopefully, I'll be able to eat my food! Maybe the next few seconds will be kind to me.
"Ok, I'm cool now, I'm fine. May I have some chicken please?"
The word 'please' sounded more foul mouthed then the words I use on a regular basis, but my face didn't show any signs of disgust so I'm good to hide that, and what's great is that my stupid mother actually believed I used the word please sweetly! She should know that it was too sweet, like fouling sweet, disgusting, but she don't need to know that.
She grabbed a piece of chicken, possibly to hand it to me for good behavior, albeit exaggeratingly fake, but oh yea, the Hispanic dicktard is still in this very room, with his negative forbidding attitude.
"No, no. You can tell from his stance, that he's still aggressive dominant"
Snarling my teeth in an animalistic way of a predator, I point a straight as a dick, no bad example, dicks can be floppy, straight as a virgin finger at the man who has been ruining my life more so than that fat cow nanny did.
"Suck my asshole taco bender!"
He looks unimpressed, unfazed, but a triumphant look in his eyes that he's got me all pissed off, that I'm showing a response of aggressive behavior, that he's winning this battle and I'm losing by giving into his cocked up assholing ways of life of controlling children! Gaaah!!
"Goddamn it, you can't stand here and eat KFC in front of me!"
Glaring up at my bucket wielding, chicken stealing fucking mother, I demand she hand it over at once!
Pinch!
"You can't do that to me, I-"
I never got to finish my rageful sentence of rage, as every time words uttered out of my mouth, the more pinches to my sensitive neck.
This is absolutely outrageous!
I couldn't even get words in, just unintelligible murmurs, as I got the 'tsst'ed of a lifetime, five of them, each harder and more wounding than the last, until I appeared to be paralyzed on my back, legs in the air, immovable.
What the hell did he just do?! This asshole is doing physical assault! Mom, why the fuck aren't you doing anything?! Why can't I move?!
"I'm not being aggressive, I'm being dominant"
"Wow I have a lot to learn"
Shut the fuck up mom! God, when I thought I could trust that bitch, she's still on the cocksucking carrot fucking asshole's side!
Moving a finger to make sure I'm not actually motionless, I succeed in bending that finger, and to be on my feet again, pissed off as any.
"Mom, I'm serious"
Seriously pissed! Couldn't resist, even if it's the truth!
"This has gone on long enough!"
Damn right it has!
"Get this.."
Asshole, Mexican jackass, potato fucker, jizzed up orange sucker..
"Guy outta here"
I apologize for my lack of cussing.
"And give me a piece of chicken"
That's an order bitch!
Mom, are you deaf?! Hand over the chicken!
Both adults look away, nibbling, biting down on their pieces of chicken. This is disorderly, disrespectful, bullshiting behavior! God fucking damnit! I can't take this anymore!
"That's how you want it bitch?! .. Fine!"
If you think I'm gonna take their ignorance and
idiotic behavior, you are pathetically mistaken.
"I hate you!"
Fucking right I do! This two bitches have done messed up! I never kicked their asses! I never kicked the jizzed up donkeys nuts! I never did anything remotely helpful for myself! What will become of me if I don't kick dicks and bend them backwards for my pleasure?!
"I'm running away!"
I'm serious about running away, the bitch tits and dicktard balls can suck the substances out of my black ass! Fuck You!
(Stan's house)
Goddamn what fags these pussies are.
Playing a board game.. these assholes deserve to have me in their presence, I'll make it interesting.
"Hey guys, have some pretty big news"
They'll understand, right? They should, I'm a best friend, they better understand! You hear that, I'll fuck you pussies up, if you don't allow me in your houses! You should watch your backs! Because I'll be slicing them open.
I sigh aloud, just come out and say it.
"Ran away from home"
Let it sink in, let your hearts, excluding Kyle's, open out for me, since Jews are evil creatures.
"Yea, my mom just doesn't even care about me anymore.. So I moved out"
"Didn't even try and stop me. It's gonna be tough living on my own, but I'll get by somehow"
Silence. Then..
"You can't stay here" said the hippie loving gay wad.
What?! What the fuck Stan?! Does our gay, fake as your ex girlfriends face, friendship mean nothing to you!
"Maybe you didn't hear me" I ground out through my clenched teeth, "I ran away! I don't have anywhere to sleep! I'm out on the streets!"
I can feel the knife in my hand, cutting through flesh and letting out an eruption of blood.
"You can't stay at my house either"
That's fine Kahl, I don't need that bitch you call a mother bitching at me with her bitchy attitude. She's a goddamn whore! Just not as much of a slut as my mother. Besides your family, including the mini Jew dildo who's also fucking Canadian, I'm not letting myself be turned into a Jew myself. I still have a heart, I still have a soul, I don't wanna be a heartless bastard, a dirty creature who masturbates to miserable pain and eats the bodies of Christians!
"Alright that's fine"
It totally is kewl. I hate Kyle, I didn't even offer a suggestion towards living with the Jew.
"Butters, I'll crash with you"
And live with his parents! That's funny shit, it's hilarious shit, but Butters is next on my list for living in a cozy warm house.
"No, my parents won't let me bring homeless people anymore"
When was the first time you had a homeless person ever? Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner so I wouldn't have to waste my breath on a pussy asshole like yourself!
"Well, what do you guys expect me to do?! Stay at Kenny's house?! His family's totally poor, I'm not staying with poor people!"
I refuse to stamp my foot like a knife wielding child whose knife been taken away from them.
Fine! I'll stay with the poor boy! I can't live with poor people! .. can I?
"Alright, I'll stay with Kenny. Let's go man"
"Fuck you"
Hey don't flip me off, you son of a bitch!
What kind of friends are these?! Won't even let me stay at their places for even a few nights! I should prepare their sentencing of their wieners! They should even be hanged for being cock nosed butt fucking jackasses!
"Well, I guess now we see how supportive friends can be!"
What?! This is serious sarcasm I'm using!
"When the chips are down, you won't even lend a hand!"
Damn right!
"I'll just go sleep on the street somewhere! Out in the cold! Probably get mugged and gang raped by some minorities!"
Shudder. I hate minorities! With their black or white skin, like an Oreo with genitals, touching my genitals with their dirty looking hands, feeling me up! I'm just a freaking child! I don't deserve being unwelcome! I deserve hospitality, pleasantness. I'm only 9 years old, and I'm strayed from my own home. This is bull crap!
Before I could storm out, and slam the door for good measure, I'd like to say one more thing.
"You guys will be sorry when I turn up dead!"
Now I'm gone, but I'm not giving up in bothering others in giving me a place to sleep for awhile until my mother comes to her senses. There's always an extra you could trick into thinking that you lot are friends.
(Jimmy's House)
Once I roughly ring the doorbell, I patiently wait for Jimmy to answer the person who's using his doorbell rights.
The skinny, crutch wielding, deformed in the face has revealed himself.
"Hey Jimmy"
I'm looking down, playing with my gloved hands, it's all part of the act. I'm trying to be patient, friendly even. Its all plotting, I just need a place to stay.
"You're not gonna believe this.. but I ran away from home. I just.. I really need the support of my best friend right now"
Come on brother, bring it in. Give a hug to me, I won't bite you, don't think I have rabies, just get your white looking disfigured ass over here, and put those crutches away. Ain't nobody got no time for those touching you in an embrace.
"Who's your best friend?"
He's looking at me curiously, I look at him in disbelief. He's giving me a look of 'did I stutter?'
"You are Jimmy, we've always been best friends! We know everything about each other"
Did I stutter Jimmy? Because I'm pretty damn sure that I didn't and that you're supposed to be inviting me into your residence!
"W-what's my last name?"
Uh.. I don't freaking know. I was thrown off guard that the crippled boy was interrogating me with facts about him, I guess I was wrong. I don't know everything about him, not even something as simple as a last name.
(Craig's House)
Who needs a doorbell when you can just bang on the door? But if they don't fucking answer, I'll grab their nuts, pull them out and make them obey me.
I just really need a place to crash for awhile!
I was seriously considering pulling Craig's dick through the wood, but Craig's ballsy cock got saved as he responded to my insistent knocks.
"Craig dude, ran away from home"
Get that in there first things first.
"You're the first person I came to"
That's a lie. But he doesn't need to know that. I'm trusting you fucking readers to keep a secret! Otherwise I'll hunt you down, I'll chop you up, and feed you to your parents! If you don't have parents, then I'll just give it to wild animals. You all saw my revenge on Scott Tenorman, what's it that I might do it again?
"I knew you'd take me in off the streets"
It seems I've hit a challenge. Craig, being the black asshole he is, has told me he hates me.
Well no shit, I hate you too. But you were next in line for rooming, so give me your house!
Fucking door slam to the face! Craig, you motherfucker! Open the damn door!
XX
Anger is boiling in every vein, making my heart light with a fiery ire, muscles clenched and tense, my anger was being held back, my body language was screaming with madness, ready to claw and bite intensely at whoever dares to pass me or come near me.
"This is bull crap!!"
It totally is! Sitting drenched in the downpour, having a newspaper over my head I ripped out of somebody's hands, and some more soaked paper laying on my lap. It was visibly ripped apart, of where I released some severe irritation at this crap I'm in.
Screams and the occasional gun shot echoed in the air, despite being drowned out by the heavy rain drops.
There was a dead body I had to push away so I could sit down, I'm not sitting on that poor piece of shit, he was black, therefore a minority, and what's my motto for those crappies?
Don't go anywhere near those dirty dicks! Just like hippies and Jews, they're evil, they're vile and ruthless to get what they need! They don't deserve anything! Unless it's to get hanged or a bullet to the head.
"Mom'll break soon, I can outlast her"
Probably not.
(Back at Cartman's house)
Slam.
I didn't think I would just come back to my house, but it's still my house and I'm not letting two goddamn pieces of shit ruin me and let me live off the streets and snack on dead people's flesh! Some parts can actually taste decent but I'm not a freaking cannibal!
"Alright"
My mother's back was turned, so I had to get her attention. And the major dick sucking asshole, you know who I'm talking about, is not present. I don't need him. But I need my mother to be the obedient bitch and make me food.
"I'm back"
"Oh Eric, I'm so happy you're home"
Sure you are, but I hope you learned something today, and you will change back to your old self and be compliant to your son.
"Yes, well, hopefully you learned your lesson, I've come back but there's gonna be some changes around here"
She doesn't have the reaction I wanted. She looks happy, and I don't need my mother being joyful, just defeated and twisted into thinking she has to obey me. That's what I want again! I miss ordering her around.
"Look what I did Eric"
I don't even look at what she's showing me. Just a nasty glare.
"I learned how to make Sumie paintings, I almost forgot at how artistic I was"
Like I fucking care.
"Yes that's very interesting"
The hell it's not! After I actually glanced at the crappy painting, it really looked vomit and shit mixed together. That's when black is created.
"But I've been living on the streets for almost 4 hours! Make me something to eat"
I would've added bitch but we could go gradual for now.
She seems to be uncomfortable, cheerlessness taking over. Unfortunately I got my hopes up, because I thought that she would respect me and listen to the real commandant, but he returned.
"How's the painting going?"
No! Fuck no! But it's true. The jizzed up orange fucking asshole is really here. Why can't it be like old times, huh?! Would it fucking kill that guy to actually be killed?! Because I'll fucking do it already!
"Oh look, it came back"
Don't call me it buttfucker!
"Yep, just like you said it would"
My mom's still on this beaner's side?! She's calling me an it as well! Am I gonna take this crap? Fuck that shit.
"What is he still doing here?!"
Ignoring me is their way of agreeing terms. I'm having flashbacks now, all thanks to these two bitchy motherfuckers.
And I'm still hungry! That's pissing me off even more so.
"He said he's hungry. What do I do?"
Make me some food! I need my nourishment after living off on cannibalism! I tried it and it sucks ass. Especially when it's all dried up and wet from the rain.
"Well let's feed it"
XX
"What the hell is this?!"
I'll tell you what it is! It's the healthy shit that gay wads eat!
"Skinless chicken"
That's pathetic!
"Boiled vegetables and salad?!"
I hate healthy crap more than these two dick holes! The skinless chicken is a fucking outrage, just looking at it makes my stomach wanna puke all over my mom, the whore of the year, and the asshole of the year, the Mexican punk ass.
"This is just like Auschwitz!"
Probably worse than a concentration camp.
"This is more aggressive dominant behavior. Don't nurture it"
Shut up! Shut up shut up shut up! I thought this Mexican was supposed to be neck slaughtered and have a dick skinning so it'll be easier to chop but fuck no! He's still here with his ridiculous orders! And calling me a dog? Mistake!!
"Oh my god"
No fucking way. It's Snickers, just bite sized. This is a foolish design of food.
"Bite sized Snickers?! That's it! I'm calling child protective services!"
Did you really think I was gonna take this disrespectful treatment?! I'm calling the service and maybe I'll be able to be treated to a new parent, one who will respect my commands without bitching about it.
"Eric! If you don't want to eat, why don't you just brush your teeth and go to bed!"
I'm not scared of you! Telling me to go to bed doesn't get you anywhere!
I'm ready to do it, I have to do it! I'm about to dial up and demand for some trustworthy adults, or to be shipped outstate.
I hear footsteps.. they're gonna stop me are they?
Hahahahahahaha! What a fucking joke these two are!
"Mom, I want this guy OUTTA here! You got it?!"
She's not nodding!! Why don't I just leap up and break her neck and smash the fucking phone in her face?! Would it kill you mother to fucking nod and get this guy the fuck out of here?!
"If he's not out of here in two minutes, I will call social services on you!"
Do I make myself clear?! Perhaps I should yell it in your ear and break both of your necks!
"You project the dominant energy and it will pick up on it, I promise.. Shoulders back, head high, don't reason with it, don't argue with it, just dominate it"
"I am your son, and you will listen to me! You have no right to-"
You have no right to do that! Stop!
I'm getting 'tsst'd' again by my own freaking mother!
"Mom, knock it off!"
She's not listening, she's goddamn still not listening to me! I could even give a speech about her fucking up big time and she'll still do it! My only mother, reduced to this.
"I'm not gonna stand for-"
I can't stand for shit now. She pinched me so hard, I was on my back, just like the times of the past when the man who ruined my life did.
I couldn't talk, I couldn't even move.. it was as if I was paralyzed. Every time words shot out of my mouth, the more pinches to my sensitive neck and to my twisted heart, it was mentally and physically to my being, the person I always was, but now it feels like I'm defeated by lying on the ground, motionless, and even if I could say something, anything to get my mother back to her original character, not uncharacteristic, I would but it wouldn't help as I'll just violently squeezed to my defeat, over and over again.
(Living room)
"See, you were calm, assertive and in control"
Not me, not anymore. It's my mother who is.
I timidly walk over to my mother, who patiently waits for her son to sit by her, despite everything that has happened between us.
I even snuggle my head by her immediately after I climb the couch. I feel like an obedient cowardly dog who will shrink in fright when I misbehave.
"O-oh my gosh!"
Yes, mother, we know how strange this is, but I'm doing it, and I'm not loving it.
"This is the behavior we've been looking for. A relaxed submissive state"
Yes, I feel calm, too calm even. Curse words aren't aren't even running through my head, it's like my passive state is the wall blocking my other personality, my real personality, the bastard who screws people over, the asshole who nobody can stand and who everybody hates. Who am I now? What person am I shaping out to be?
"He's never done this before"
I know.. I know.
"Now you can reward the behavior with praise and attention"
I am a child and I'm entitled to attention!
Words of the past are coming back to me at last. Does this mean I can have all the free attention I want from my mother, despite being a meek shell of a person.
"I love you very much, poopsikins"
Love you too mom.
"You're mommy's sunshine"
I guess so. It just felt great to have my mother focused on me again.
"Now you can give him a snack"
A snack? I am hungry, I get a treat for good calm behavior. And it's candy. God, that tastes good. I want this chocolate to drip down my throat, to feel my throat up so I can freaking lick it all and savor its sweetness.
"Good this is really good, now try a command"
My moms really gonna do it, I have no doubt that she's the one ordering me around now. This is outrageous! But.. it seems that I'm compliant, the one who will take crap from the adults and not bitch and moan about it.
Where the hell am I mentally going in life? I need to stop being passive and be my own goddamn person again!
"Eric, I want you to go upstairs and brush your teeth. Then I'll be up to read you a story before bed"
Ok mom, I'll go upstairs and.. brush my teeth like a good son, a passive son who's no longer aggressive and dominant in behavior.
XX
"Who does she think she is, telling me to brush my teeth?!"
Goddamn it! It's like something is controlling me, edging me on to the sink, where my toothbrush lies.
With the toothbrush in my hand, and the faucet running, waiting for an object to get wet, there's only one question that needs to be answered.
"Jesus, what's happening to me?"
(Kyle's house)
This fucking sucks! I'm thinner, and wearing clothes that my mother orders me to wear. I should be able to wear whatever the hell I want! This is messed up! It's just as messed up as Jews existing in this world!
Inviting myself into Kyle's house, I slam the door to get their attention away from their faggy video game to me, the guest.
"Guys listen up, I really need your help this time"
Get off the damn video crap and help me with my crap! They're still not listening, and they still have the faggy pussy Butters!
"I've thought about it a lot, and I've decided I have to kill my mom"
Let it sink in your goddamn brains, let my information enter in and drown your hearts with the fact that I'm gonna commit murder, to my own goddamn mother.
"Kill your mom?!"
Yes Butters, kill my mom! Don't question me!
"She doesn't let me wear what I want anymore! Things have really gotten out of hand. So my mom must die, so I can have a place to live, without her trying to run my life. She's like Hitler with all the demands she makes"
I love Hitler more than my mother. He was a tyrannical man with more dominance than my bitchy mother and the asshole vagina sucking dick who has twisted my mother to think she owns me, that she could do whatever the hell she wants to me. Well he's a jacked off dumbass to think I'll just comply with my mom. The bitch must die!
Forward.. Kill her!
"Dude, have you lost more weight?" Stan asked.
Yes! The hippie pays attention at last!
"Yes! I lost almost 10 pounds now! You see what I mean! I totally know what it feels like to be a Jew in the Holacaust now. I must kill my mom, it's my only way out"
"Dude, don't kill your mom, that's not cool"
The Jew speaks. I don't want a wicked Jew to speak to me: not now, never! Kyle is worth nothing to me, only his Jew gold. Jews are greedy creatures, who devour Christian children, who crave to be the better race, but are over shadowed by our superior holidays.
"She's Hitler! Would you have killed Hitler if you had the chance?!"
Not if I kill Kahl first, if he lays a dirty hand on my role model, my inspirational figure.
"Alright here's the plan"
Rolling out my easel with my plan drawn out perfectly, precisely, I break down the action point.
"At 9:45 tonight I'll sneak out of my room and leave the house leaving the back door unlocked. You guys come into the house at 10:30 PM sharp, having given me enough time to get down to Perkins to be seen by everyone there. And then all four of you will go upstairs to kill my mom"
Go team!
"Dude, we're not killing your mom"
Shut up Stan! Don't talk like that.
"Well, I can't kill her, I'm too obvious a suspect"
And if I killed her, they could probably track down the fingerprints on the gun, and check a scan of who touched that gun. That's an example of evidence.
"Now when you reach her room, Butters will keep a lookout while Kenny opens the bedroom door, Kyle puts a pillow over my mom's head, and Stan shoots her in the face"
Easy, effortless even. Just gun down the victim and explode a particular body part where it gushes out blood.
"Where am I supposed to get a gun?!"
At a hunting store or somewhere, dumbass!
"I don't know Stan, that's your job! Do I have to think of everything here?!"
The sensitive dark haired asshole is being too stubborn about this. I mean seriously, why can't he just cooperate and not bitch about it! He even takes a step back and says he's not shooting anybody's parent.
"Ok fine! Butters will cover my mother's head with a pillow, and Kyle can shoot her in the face"
Will Kahl do it? I mean his ancestors killed Jesus, my mother's a Christian, so will Kyle prove he's ruthless and make his ancestors proud?
"NO, Cartman!"
B-But you're Jewish!
"God, Well how about I just do everything?! How's that sound? I'll just do everything while you guys play video games"
They're taking it literally, they're really not gonna help a friend out.
"Fine!"
This is how it's gonna be! Won't even help somebody who's in desperate need!
"I'll do it by myself!"
(Night, Cartman's House)
The door creaks in an eerie manner, long and loud somewhat having a creepy vibe to it if you listen, like you know somebody's coming, not friendly, but with an unpleasant surprise. They could have a goal, a goal to fulfill their own twisted desires.
Like me. It's exactly 10:30 PM. Just like I said.
In my mother's room, with the clock ticking away, slowly, calmly, giving me time to do the deed of murder. It's not rushing me, but I'm not wasting time just to play with my mother's body, I need to slice her head off or maybe.. I shouldn't do the act of decapitation.
My shadow falls on my mother's body, just peacefully sleeping, not knowing of the fact that she'll never see another day of her life cause she'll be dead, by her own sons hand!
"You forced me to do this" were my first whispered words to her. Go on Mother, sleep. Sleep until you wake up no longer in this world. Oh wait, that's not possible since you'll be nothing but a lifeless woman!
"You couldn't just love me as a son. You just had to humiliate and degrade me with your rules. I won't let you dominate my life anymore!"
She'll be slayed by me, she'll be gone because of me, and it seems that I won't care if my own mother is no longer with me, she'll be in a place where I could no longer feel her or see her, but what only matters is my life I want to live without her by my side! I need her to be behind me where her flesh will bleed out after I stab her.
"Goodbye, mother"
Raising my arm to begin the action, it trembles as it hovers over my mother's face. Can I really do it? A child kill their own flesh and blood, somebody who gave you life and you repay it by destroying their life?
Wait. Maybe I don't have the right to kill my mom.
No! I must! It's the only way to give me back the life I had in the past! Where I won't live by domination from others, where I will be free from rules and give in to others wishes!
"No! She's my mom, I could do whatever I want with her! It's more important I live the way I want"
Is it? Is killing your own mother gonna get the happiness you want for your life? Or will even you be guilty of killing your mom?
She isn't an object you own! She's a human being.
"She isn't a object I own, she's a.. she's a human being"
No! Kill her! She's out to make you suffer!
Which side am I choosing?! Which side will I listen to?! There's the good and the bad, and it's a struggle between my buried deep conscience and the side of the cruel bastard, the one who I chose to be, ignoring the good side in me. Who would've thought that my inner voice would have come back to the surface? I don't even know what I want! It's goddamn difficult when your right and wrong are battling with who will come out on top.
The knife wasn't the only one shaking.
I turn around and look down at the knife, just to see how sharp the point is, how it curves, how it's cold metal is in contrast against my warm skin.
"M-Maybe all these changes are good for me. Maybe.."
The world doesn't revolve around me.
Doesn't revolve around me, it doesn't, it doesn't..
It echoes in my head, it twists my heart around, opening a hole where I could actually feel and think about how serious this crime I'm going to commit.
See what this is doing to me?! I'm feeling emotions I'm not familiar with, emotions I thought I'm not possible to have, but I'm only human and it's alright to feel this way.
"Maybe the world doesn't revolve around me"
Letting my grip on the knife and paper towels go, they fall soundlessly on the carpet, and frankly so do I.
Black vomit explodes out of my mouth, as my body was still trembling with my conscience screaming at me with doing the right thing, and my immoral side screaming, begging me to kill my mother and to have the control I wanted. I'm not so sure what I want for my life.
What the hell do I want?! What the hell do I need to do to stop this raging mental battle inside of me?!
The world doesn't revolve around me!
Idiot!
I pound the floor in rage, banging it so hard on the carpet everything near me rattled in its wake. Fucking static coursed through me and flashed on and off until it flickered like a broken TV screen. Screaming my head off like a freaking lunatic, I struggled and battled violently against myself. I could've even think clearly, couldn't even speak properly, just wildly clawing at air as more static and more types of shit I could just not explain, just kept coming in and out like an unstable candle.
I managed to get in the hallway despite what was happening to my body. I'm surprised I didn't bang into the wall and wake my victim.
She's not a victim!
Yes she is! Go back and slay her!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
Unsteadily walking over to the wall, I can't even see anything anymore as flashes of red and static produced and wouldn't even let me see! I felt as if blind. But that went away as quick as it started and I saw blearily that I had banged against a wall. And as it quick as it away, it came back and it had me choking and gasping for air while screaming until I couldn't take it anymore, and then I just .. passed out, slipped into unconsciousness.
Silence. Quiet. Peace.
(Cartman's House, morning)
A surprised gasp fills my ears.
Weren't expecting this, were you mother? See, I can be a good boy. I made the decision of doing my math homework, and eating a healthier breakfast.
Ham with grapefruit well placed into a dining bowl.
"Why Eric, you made your own breakfast"
She's still surprised. It's like she doubted I could do this by myself. Well it's the power of choice at making your own breakfast and with doing your own homework, and I stepped over to make that choice. Independence is the key word here.
"And you're studying before school?"
A smirk wanted to dance across my face and stay glued, but for some reason I kept my smirk to myself and not make itself known to my mom.
"Well, you told me I had to review my homework before class started"
She bowed her head, eyes closed and smiled tearfully, and when she reopened them, I saw she got teary eyed.
"Oh, Eric. I'm very proud of you"
So am I, but doesn't mean you have to cry. To be honest I was a little caught off guard myself.
It showed in my voice.
"Th-thank you?"
"I love you sweetie"
Don't go overboard mom. You're starting to embarrass me even if nobody's around.
"Mom, you're starting to embarrass me, geez"
Our little moment of gagging sweetness got interrupted by the doorbell. Gee, wonder who that could be.
Once my mother clears the room, I swiftly grab my bowl of grapefruit, dump it out, soundlessly work around the kitchen as I'm cleaning everything out, and woah and behold, I'm done. In like a minute.
I'm curious to see who the hell was at the door, and look what I've got: nobody there with the door opened and my mom, motionless. I couldn't see her face, but I bet it was shocked. What the hell did that Mexican bastard do now?
"I cleared up the table, Mom. I'm going to go upstairs and make my bed now"
Or sneak out the window and do something entertaining. Stan, Kyle, and I had a Science project to do, and I could mess up the project and fail the Jew and hippie. Kyle knew right away something was up, and he damn well wasn't buying my good boy act. Screw him, I'll slice his thumbs off. That'll teach him not to believe me.
Turning away, I got stopped in my tracks by Mom, who asks if I would like to go to something called 'Madame Butterfly' Friday evening.
I don't like that offer.
I'd rather do something with my lifelong enemies and purposely ruin the project. I know the Jew jacks off on high grades, and he could damn well miss masturbating this one time for an F. School gives him sexual pleasure or something, I don't know.
"No, that's okay. Besides, I promised Stan and Kyle we can work on our science project then"
My mom knows me well. She's gonna bribe me with KFC if we go to the play. Then she went even further by saying we can go to Target and she will buy me that killer Mega Ranger I have been asking for.
Interesting..
"Could I perhaps have .. 2 Mega Rangers?"
She doesn't hesitate to reply to her child.
"Yes, darling. You can have whatever you want"
As she's hugging me, and cuddling her head on my shoulder with love, I feel the smirk that has been seeking to make itself known, apply on my face on its own.
I think.. I finally have my control again. But it's a little different. You see, I've learned something today.
By being the good child, gets you somewhere, it can get you the things you seek for and desire. And taking advantage of your mother for the dominance you've been craving for helps wonders.
Everything's going just the way I wanted at last. Everything I have been through these couple weeks has given me a sense of hope that I will be able to take control of my mother again, and it did. My wishes have become my reality. I'll be able to lead to my old life again. Man, having KFC and two sweet toys kicks ass.
AN: I tried my best with Cartman's POV in this episode. Perhaps you guys could give me more things on what Cartman would say to people. Hope it didn't suck and hope it made you smile.