A/N: Aptly named Miracle Drivers, as in it's a miracle that they can even drive haha. As promised in my latest chapter of GoMod, here's the new KuroBasu short story I was talking about! Yes, it's cracky and full of complete and utter silliness, but I couldn't help myself once I latched onto this idea. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it!
Since I don't know and couldn't find much information about drivers ed in Japan, I decided just to go with drivers ed from the US, where teenagers have to go through drivers ed to get their permit and then have their permits for at least six months before taking their driving test. Now with the technicalities out of the way, please strap on your seat belts. This is going to be a one wild ride! (pun completely intended)
Summary: The world had better watch out because the Generation of Miracles are finally experiencing what all young teenagers go through: drivers ed. One thing's for sure: the road will never be the same again.
Disclaimer: All the awesome characters of Kuroko no Basket belong to Tadatoshi Fujimaki. I do not own or claim to own anything.
Miracle Drivers
Chapter 1: The Beginning of the End
Sunday afternoons were meant to be uneventful. This time was meant to be spent lazing around—it was a time to relax and unwind before the start of another hectic week. But it took only a single text message sent in the form of one Akashi Seijurou to completely shatter that peaceful equilibrium.
*.*.*.*.*.*
Kise was already uneasy when he saw the name of his most recent text message's sender flash up on the screen of his phone (it was almost never a good thing when Akashi had to contact you), but he almost dropped his phone in shock when he read the contents inside. "You've got to be kidding, Akashicchi!"
*.*.*.*.*.*
In the privacy of his own room, Aomine promptly spat out a mouthful of the soda he was drinking when he read the text. "What...the hell?"
*.*.*.*.*.*
Momoi's eyes were as wide as saucers. "Whaaaa?" She read the text again, as if expecting the contents of the message to have changed in the brief period of time she went into shock. "He can't be serious!"
*.*.*.*.*.*
Midorima sighed as he massaged the bridge of his nose. "I knew I shouldn't have left my lucky item alone for even a minute." He eyed his cell phone—the current source of his oncoming migraine—balefully. "I should have expected him to pull something like this sooner or later..."
*.*.*.*.*.*
"Eh?" Murasakibara's eyes widened slightly. He popped another handful of chips in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. "How interesting, Aka-chin."
*.*.*.*.*.*
"..." The phantom sixth player of the Generation of Miracles could find no words to express his conflicted thoughts as he reread Akashi's text once more.
To: Ryouta, Daiki, Satsuki, Shintaro, Atsushi, & Tetsuya
Subject: Drivers Education
Now that we are in our second year of high school, I have decided that it is high time we begin taking a driver's education course. You shall all register for a drivers ed class by the end of today and I will allow you one month to complete it and obtain your permit.
We will all sign up to take the driving test on the same day, on June 17, seven months from today. We will all meet up at the park by Teikou the week after so that you may report to me the results of your driving test. I expect to hear favorable results then.
Once they got over their initial shock, the five former members of the Generation of Miracles, sans one leader, plus one manager, all stared at their phones with a resigned sort of acceptance. They knew that there was no escape from this—everyone knew that once a new idea strikes up Akashi Seijurou's fancy, he will stop at nothing until said idea is carried out in its entirety.
The birds were chirping, the skies were a clear blue, and people continued on with their own business, oblivious to the fact that this was the very moment when the drivers from hell were unleashed upon the world.
7 months later
June 17 was a day of clear blue skies, trilling birds, and gentle breezes. It was a subtle mockery to how this entire thing began at its inception, on that fateful day seven months ago.
"Aominecchi! Kurokocchi! Look time no see!" Kise called out excitedly when he saw his two former teammates standing under the shade of a tree.
Aomine gave a slight nod of acknowledgement, not bothering to move from his place by the trunk. "Hey."
"Good morning, Kise-kun." Kuroko said, nodding politely.
"I thought I would be the first one here," Kise continued. He suddenly seemed to realize something. "Hey, did Aominecchi and Kurokocchi come here together? No fair! I wanted to walk here with Kurokocchi too!"
Kuroko and Aomine exchanged a brief look before the latter looked away and rolled his eyes. "Dude, your house isn't even on the same direction as ours."
"We just happened to arrive here at the same time, Kise-kun." Kuroko explained.
"Okay," Kise said, easily accepting the explanation. "Man, it's been much too long since all of us have gathered together like this, huh? I can't wait to everyone again!"
"I, on the other hand, beg to differ. I could have happily gone on with the rest of my life without having to see any of you for another seven months or so. Though I suppose I should count my lucky stars that I went this long without being approached by any of you before this."
Kise turned around, a wide smile on his face. "Midorimacchi! It's so good to see you again!"
"I would be lying if I say that we share the same sentiments," Midorima retorted dryly as one hand went up to push at his glasses while the other squeezed a rubber ducky so tightly that it gave a sad squeak in protest.
"Waah! How cruel!" Kise cried. "Kurokocchi! Midorimacchi's being mean to me!"
Aomine didn't bother to hide his snort of derision. "How is any of this new to you?"
Kuroko seemed to ponder for a moment before cocking his head curiously. "Was I supposed to do something about it during all those other times as well, Kise-kun?"
Kuroko did not seem to realize that his straightforward words struck a personal blow in Kise and so, he looked on expressionlessly as Kise wailed in despair. Aomine let out a bark of laughter in response, clapping Kuroko on the shoulder. "Good one, Tetsu!"
Midorima sighed tiredly. "Even all the luck in the world could not keep me from these idiots..." He continued to squeeze the life out of the innocent rubber ducky.
Kuroko wasn't sure that the rubber ducky would last much longer at this rate. "Instead of taking it out on the rubber ducky, might I suggest using a stress ball instead, Midorima-kun? I have also heard that yoga is a good method for relieving pent up stress."
Aomine burst out into loud, raucous laughter as tears of mirth streamed down his face. "Too...much...Tetsu!" he managed to gasp out between laughs.
"This is not for stress!" Midorima snapped. "I'll have you know, this so happens to be my lucky item of the day."
"Of course, Midorimacchi~"
"Have a cookie, Mido-chin." Murasakibara suddenly seemed to appear out of nowhere and shoved a cookie in front of Midorima's face. "You'll feel happier after eating one."
"I think I will pass, thank you," Midorima said curtly.
"Dai-chan! I can't believe you left me behind!" Momoi exclaimed as she joined the others by the shade of the tree.
"Momoicchi! Good to see you too!" Kise called out.
"Hey, it's not my fault you took so long picking out your damn clothes!" Aomine scowled. "I told you I would leave you behind if you didn't finish in ten minutes."
"But I had to look good for Tetsu-kun!" Momoi protested.
Aomine resisted the urge to face-palm. "Oh, for the love of..."
"So I guess we're all licensed drivers now, huh?" Momoi chirped happily. "How did you all do on your test?"
She should have realized then and there that something was wrong, especially when everyone suddenly averted their eyes and muttered half-baked excuses under their breath.
"I don't want to say 'til Akashi gets here," Aomine said almost petulantly.
"Aww, why not, Dai-chan?" Momoi's eyes widened. "Wait, it couldn't be that you failed, right?"
Aomine's eyes widened. "What? Me? Fail? That's just stupid. What gave you that idea?" he quickly countered, not realizing that he spoke at almost twice his normal speed.
Kise laughed nervously. "Haha, failing the driving test? That's a silly idea, right Midorimacchi?"
Midorima cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses before responding. "Indeed it is. Who could possibly fail to pass a simple thing like a driving test?"
"Definitely not me." Murasakibara said as he munched on his cookies at an erratic pace.
"I actually did not get a chance to take mine yet." Kuroko spoke up for the first time.
"Did I hear that correctly, Tetsuya?" Everyone turned around to see their leader walk towards them. He folded his arms folded across his chest, an expectant expression on his face. "I could have sworn I just heard you say that you did not take your driving test yet, but I do believe my instructions explicitly informed you to take your driving test last week."
"I apologize, Akashi-kun. I did make an appointment to take my test last week, but the online appointment system malfunctioned somehow, so my appointment did not go through. In the end, I had to reschedule it to take it next week instead."
"Alright then, I suppose there was nothing you could do about it," Akashi allowed. "And how about the rest of you?" He addressed the only female of the group first. "Satsuki?"
"I got my license!" Momoi said happily.
"Good work, Satsuki," A brief half smile flickered across Akashi's face. "I had expected nothing less from you. Daiki?"
Upon hearing his name, Aomine froze for half a second, before quickly averting his eyes to the ground. "I...kinda...it wasn't my fault!...that stupid car got in my way..." This string of incoherent mumbles continued for a while.
Akashi merely cocked an eyebrow. "Do speak up, Daiki. I did not understand a single word you had just uttered. How did you do on your driving test?"
Aomine took a deep breath, as if he were bracing himself before going in for the kill. "Ikindadidn'tpass."
Akashi's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Pardon?"
"What?" Momoi gaped. "You mean, you actually failed, Dai-chan?"
"Shut up, Satsuki." Aomine snapped as he turned away. By now, a rosy pink hue had developed on the tips on his ears.
Akashi closed his eyes before recomposing himself. "We will be talking about this later, Daiki." Aomine couldn't help but flinch at the cold tone. The redhead turned expectantly to the next member. "Ryouta?"
Kise laughed nervously. "Funny story, Akashicchi..."
Akashi took in Kise's nervous laughter and the way his eyes darted around anxiously and drew his own conclusions. "You didn't pass either." The question was said as a statement.
Another bout nervous laughter. "No..."
Akashi took a deep breath, then fixed everyone with a hard stare. "Alright, let me rephrase my question: how many of you actually passed your driving test?"
Momoi was the only one who raised her hand.
Having already anticipated this type of response, Akashi merely raised an eyebrow at the lack of hands. "Well. This is certainly not what I would have expected from all of you."
Momoi was flabbergasted. "All of you failed? B-But how..."
"It was not a lucky day for me..." Midorima muttered.
"Sorry, Aka-chin." Murasakibara murmured.
"Apologies do not cut it, Atsushi." Akashi said. "Quite frankly, I am very disappointed in all of you. Failure equates to losing. Do not let there be a second time." The warning was clear in his words. Everyone shifted their feet and mumbled 'yes's'.
"You passed the driving test too, didn't you Akashi-kun?" Momoi confirmed with the redhead.
"Naturally."
"He probably scared them into giving him the pass or something," Aomine muttered discreetly to Kuroko. One side of Kuroko's mouth twitched upwards, the only outward indication of his amusement at Aomine's words.
"Was there something you wanted to share with the rest of us, Daiki?" Akashi asked, fixing his heterochromic eyes on him.
"It's nothing," Aomine assured hastily.
Akashi took that as an acceptable answer. "So in order to uncover all the possible reasons for your unforeseen...failure," he spoke the word disdainfully. "I expect each of you to narrate your side of the story in order to explain to me why you managed to fail a driving test of all things."
"You mean, you want us to tell you what happened during our test?" Kise asked.
"That is correct." Akashi said. "But, seeing as I am one of the few ones here who actually managed to pass the test the first time around, I shall be the first to relay to you my side of the story. Now, let me recount to you all the events of my driving test, exactly as they had occurred..."
A/N: I apologize if I made any mistakes in the technicalities of drivers ed. I'm no expert in the ways of drivers ed, so I would appreciate it greatly if you point them out to me.
Anyways, next time, Akashi will be telling us what happened during his driving test! Might Akashi turn out be a surprisingly good driver? Or, as Aomine said, did he in fact, scare everyone into giving him the pass? You'll just have to read on and see!
I know that this may seem nothing more than a cracky fic so far, but I would to hear your opinions all the same. Like it? Dislike it? Please let me know! Thanks!
-Bird of Dreams