TitleJust A Step Behind the Rain
Summary: The original ending to Somewhere. Please read and tell me what you think… it was beautiful to write… and I just had to share it with you guys.
Shalan's Say: Okay… this is the original ending of Somewhere Over the Rainbow and it is rather sad… but it was just so beautiful that I had to post it as a one shot… please understand… I just thought you guys should read it because it might be the best one shot I have ever written… even though it was originally the ending… XD
TISSUE WARNING: Might want to have one or two… boxes
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Rain. Sweet, solid rain like a beautiful rush of euphoria cleansing the Earth of her impurities. Steady, like a constant release of tears dripping down the face of the world. Dripping off the clouds in the sky onto the ground below to collect and gather like crystalline memories on a flower's petal.
Tears. An unspoken sadness. A sadness that even if described, would still overshadow even the most beautiful of spoken words. Each tear speaks of a different memory, a different moment that wished it could stay with its owner until the very end, a moment that was so easily whisked away by even the tiniest of winds.
Words. Words mean nothing, for no words can describe a person's life. Words may be able to attempt to describe a person's deeds but leave one hanging, wishing for a more complete list of what that person was. For a person cannot be wholly one thing. There is no one word that can describe a lost life, but there is a word that can describe the silence that falls over the service.
Peace. As if nothing else in the world matters other than that one single moment. As if everything in the world stops, the city noise falls to a hushed reverence, the heartbeats of the humans, living, breathing and acting as if nothing had happened stop beating, as if for that one second, the world returns to the way it was when life began.
When all the clouds darken up the skyway
There's a rainbow highway to be found
No tears fall from her eyes as she stands over the fresh grave of her husband. No, those tears have been long spent; now only waves of pain and despair wash over her. He was her light, her guardian, her shelter from the rest of the world. The love that had, at one time, had her reeling head over heels was now attempting to choke her.
'Ichigo'… is the only word she can choke out. Her voice breaks somewhere in her throat and she stops trying as her body squeezes out the last of her tears, producing a steady stream of salty liquid that ends up confusing itself with the moisture on her face.
There are no words that can describe the pain of a loved one's death. There are no words that can comfort, there are no words that can lull and yet still, she longs for someone to speak to her, to comfort her, to stop avoiding her as if she were diseased.
At her side, the impatient little girl, not understanding the bleakness of the situation, tugs at her hand. "Mommy… let's go…" but she does not hear her daughter; she can only watch the flowers that adorn his grave collect droplets of water, like tears on a blouse collar.
Leading from your window pane
To a place behind the sun
They call it the ultimate sacrifice. To give your life for the person, or people, you love. That didn't mean that it was any easier to accept. His blue eyes dimmed as he attempted to keep his composure intact. He had learned to accept death when he had entered the military, yet for some reason, his heart still folded over itself when he had set eyes on his best friend's body.
Laying in the beautiful white casket, dressed in full formal uniform, his sword resting in his hands parallel to his body. His orange hair messy, looking as though he had just finished a job. His face was free of worry lines and free of age, looking as peaceful as though he had just simply fallen asleep there and would wake up at any second with an apology for dozing off during a conversation. When Uryu had seen that, he couldn't help what came next. Tears pricked at his eyes, spilling over and onto his own uniform.
There were still so many things that had been left unsaid between them, Uryu knows this all too well as he hears the firing squad fire in his best friend's honor. He knows that he will never get to see his best friend alive again, however, there is something of a peace in his heart and the last words that he had spoken to him came to mind, the last private conversation they had ever had.
"…it isn't death that scares me… it isn't even the thought of my not existing that scares me… what scares me is the thought of not being here for all of you… the thought of leaving so many things undone and unsaid…"
Uryu looked up into the rain… "…and the thought of never getting to see a rainbow again…"he closed his eyes.
Just a step behind the rain
Tears dripped down her face onto her blouse as her fingers tangled through his. The rain soaked her skin, her blouse, her hair but nothing seemed to cleanse her of the pain that she felt. Her husband's fingers tightened around hers. "Why?" She choked out and he shook his head in reply. Kazumi's limbs shook as a fresh wave of tears took her over. She pressed her face into his chest and Uryu rested his chin against her hair.
She couldn't help but wonder, if perhaps, there could have been something that they would have been able to do. Yet there was nothing. Nothing could change the fact that he was gone. The fact that her good friend's daughter would be raised without a father, the fact that Rukia would probably never be the same…
…nothing could change the fact that he had left so much pain in his wake.
Somewhere over the rainbow
She tilted her head down in reverence, there would be no replacing a man like Ichigo Kurosaki. There would be no other man as brave or as selfless as the orange haired lunk that seemed to know exactly what to say to make you smile even during the worst of days.
"Guess you can't cheer us up today can you Ichigo?" She asked softly as her own tears dripped down her face and onto the bouquet of flowers she was to place on his grave. Yoruichi walked over to his grave and placed the flowers near the head stone then gently gripped Rukia's shoulder. "Everything's going to be alright," the older woman said and Rukia looked up at her, searching her eyes. She was the first person to actually speak to her. The shorter was accepted into a motherly hug as fresh sobs came.
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby
Toshiro saluted, his hat under his arm as the firing squad's gunshots echoed through the nearly empty graveyard. The team leader, the man that had held them all together, the commander that they had all trusted was now lying 10 feet under. Toshiro could hardly pause to think about it, for he knew, that if he did, he would fall to insanity.
The man that had seemed too strong to die was now dead. Toshiro smiled lightly, Ichigo had always brought him coffee in the morning when he looked like he needed it. It was those little things that Toshiro remembered now, the little quirks and tasks that Ichigo took on in his persona.
Ichigo had always talked about rainbows and how he wanted to see what was on the other side. When Toshiro had told him that this idea was silly Ichigo had merely shrugged and replied that everyone could dream.
The detective bowed his head as tears dripped off his eyelashes.
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
The red head sighed softly as he placed a bouquet on his grave. "Wotcher…" Renji said under his breath. He had only known the carrot-top for a short time before his death, but for some reason his death tore him apart. Perhaps it was because Ichigo had always made a point to include him in his conversations, perhaps it was because Ichigo and his group had helped him out of a darker part of his life, but whatever it was it seemed that Ichigo had made a bigger impact on his life than he had thought.
"Rukia," he said softly and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She leaned into him.
Where troubles melt lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
As the group of people walked away from the gravesite suddenly Rukia felt very alone, standing with her daughter beside her husband's grave she suddenly felt like there really wasn't anything left in the world for her. The rain continued to pound on her shoulders and head but she welcomed it. She welcomed the feeling, because it meant that she could still love. Her eyes closed and she turned her face to the sky. The warm spring rain poured down her blouse and down her body, her limbs trembled.
Suddenly the rain stopped and she heard the sound of the water hitting fabric. She looked over at the person holding the umbrella. "Uryu…" she whispered and he attempted a smile. She pressed her face into his shirt. "There's nothing left… I have nothing left of him…" for what seemed like the fortieth time that day tears poured from her eyes.
"You have Masaki," Rukia looked up at him and he tilted his head. "Masaki is the most important thing right now. Ichigo wouldn't want to see you like this Rukia… Ichigo never wanted to see you cry…" he took the dry handkerchief from the inside of his coat pocket and wiped her face off. "Dry your tears now… we mustn't forget what Ichigo wanted us to do…"
"Keep moving on…" her voice faded at the lump in her throat again. The raven-haired man looked out over the graveyard.
"We have to continue his dream…" Uryu placed a hand against the side of her face. Something tugged at the back of his mind however as he led the widow off with Masaki in tow… he looked over his shoulder… he hadn't seen Kisuke since the explosion… but that thought was quickly abandoned as he concentrated on his best friend's widow…
…she was strong… she would make it…
Somewhere over the rainbow
Where birds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can't I
Water spilled off the single flower in his hand. The pristine white petals shimmered as the water collected in droplets.
There are no words that can describe the loss of a friend or a family member but there are even less words to describe the emotion that is aroused when one loses a savior. There was a reason he hadn't been at the funeral, there was a reason that he was standing here now alone, there was a reason that he was fighting down tears.
The young man that had come to him with a proposition that pulled him out of his gutter life and into the high and mighty. The young man that had taught him to see both sides and that had taught him that not everything is as it seems. The young man that hadn't had a clue as to what kind of an impact that he had made upon the world.
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh, why can't I
There was no word for what the man in the grave below him meant to him. His fingers trembled lightly. Silence thundered in his ears as images flashed before his eyes. Memories that made him smile. The flowers had been removed from the grave, leaving the head stone and the long rectangle of what was now mud but for some reason, the simplicity of it made his heart squeeze again.
"We are all dreamers, fighting to keep from being forced out of our dreams, and while we do not falter in our chase for our dreams we will be, in the end, granted that which we strive for, the dream that drives us… because if you falter your dream will be taken from you…"
Kisuke placed the flower on the grave then turned and walked away.
"…and if that dream is taken from you there is nothing left to fight for… that is why I choose to dream of gliding over the rooftops and out over the country sides…"
Dew glistened on the pure white petals of the rose and Kisuke looked over his shoulder. For the briefest of moments he could have sworn that he could have seen Ichigo, standing beside his grave, his deep amber eyes reflected in the sparkling dew.
"I dream of a place that cannot be taken from me… I want to go over the rainbow… because that's where everyone goes…"
As the blonde continued to pause the clouds cleared just for the briefest of seconds and suddenly a tear streamed from Kisuke's eye. There, reflecting the light from the sun, was the most beautiful rainbow that the man had ever seen. With that he turned around, leaving the past behind him.
"…somewhere over the rainbow…"