"I do not know about this place Merida," the queen scanned the restaurant. "It looks like they serve roadkill," she said eyeballing the hare feet hanging as wall decor. "C'mon Mum, live a little. You don't have to only eat at the places 'fit for a queen.'" The mother and daughter were seated at their table. People watched in awe as the Queen of Scotland unfolded her brown paper napkin and gently floated it down onto her lap. "What is she doing here?" people murmured amongst themselves. "Merida, a princess does not place her elbows on the table." "Mum, they're just my bows." The two chuckled. "I'm glad I get to spend some time with you dear," the queen grinned. The waitress trudged over and slapped the menus on the table. "Can I get ya somethin' ta drink?" "A root beer." The waitress' eyes shifted to the queen. "I'll have a spring water please." "We only have tap." She scribbled in her notepad. "Tap? What is tap?" The waitress rolled her green eyes. "Tap water is fine," Merida grinned at the waitress. She began to walk back to the kitchen but swung back around. "The manager wants to know if he can have a picture of ya for the wall of fame." "Wall of fame? Sure. Who else is on there? Gerard Butler? Ewan McGregor?" The queen smiled for the camera. "We don't have 'em but we have Feasty and Roady." Click. "Who?" the queen inquired. "Well ya see Madam," a man in a neighboring table turned to the queen and princess. "Feasty is known for winning against every competitor he's faced for eating the most rats in thirty minutes." He pointed to Feasty's picture hanging crookedly on the wall. The queen swallowed in disgust. "And Roady provided all of the roadkill for here for eight years!" The queen's cheeks puffed with air. "He's just kiddin'," in chimed another man. "Roady is up on that wall because he is the customer that ate here the most...that is, before he died. God rest his soul." The queen gulped. "I'll be back with ya drinks. Choose a meal," the waitress traipsed back to the kitchen.
"Ready to order?" The waitress stood over the table with her notepad ready in hand. "What are ya specials?" "'Your' specials Merida; 'your.'" "What are YOUR specials?" The waitress pointed to the chalk board leaning against the wall by the entrance and read down the list. "Chicken, duck, deer, rat..." She strained to see the last one. "Oh, and bear." "BEAR?!" The queen and princess yelled in unison. "Yeah." Merida and her mother's eyes grew large. They swallowed simultaneously and looked around the room at all of the animals pinned to the wall. Merida's eyes met a great big skinned bear hanging over their table. "Mum..." Merida pointed up. "Excuse us," the queen folded her napkin and placed it on the table as well as some cash. The two royals hustled out the door. "I think I'll stick to the restaurants 'fit for a queen.'" Merida laughed. "That's a good idea."