Everlasting Cold

Author's Note: Alternate ending to Track 13-Got it All. Enjoy the story and R&R.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of Gravitation.

Japanese Terms: Sensei-Teacher

Summary:

On the night that Yuki Eiri walks among the memories of the past, an unexpected run-in with a fleeing criminal brings him to the ultimate decision.

…

"It's cold. The frigid air laps at my skin and strangles me by the throat. My voice comes out as a mirror of the air, giving birth to the sharp wind. Snowflakes descend from above and blanket the world before me."

"What about your way back? Should I wait for you?"

"I turn and he questions me. Why does he care? The fare for one ride is already so high. Pointless since this is where it ends. My ride is over. It began here, and it ends here. But I answer him anyways, just to get him off my case."

"No. Thanks but no thanks."

"I hear him let out a huff as he rolls up the taxi window. Then he drives off."

"Well…You're going to freeze to death."

"I walk silently through the thick trail of white. The powder grasps at my shoes like the hands of the dead to my mind. It was here that I last saw Kitazawa Yuki. He was the greatest person I ever knew, and he was quite skilled at tutoring me as well. I admired him and looked up to him like an older brother…But he died here, in this cold, dark place. I took everything from him. His name, his life…I killed him. I cornered him and beat the shit out of him."

"The ice crystals seem to swirl into a smile, mocking me. I proceed regardless, arriving at a street corner. Strange how the trip only took me several minutes, yet time drags with each step…More like hours than minutes. Kitazawa Yuki died back there…The true Kitazawa-sensei."

"I can see faint flashes of red and blue light in the distance, coming from around the bend; the police most likely. As I turn the corner, my suspicions are proven correct. Not only do I hear the sirens, I walk straight into the person they were chasing: A short, old geezer with gray hair. He wears a toque, and a purse is clutched firmly under his left arm. He stares at me in terror. He trembles at the sight of my eyes; the "eyes of a murderer" as Aizawa Taki had referred to them as."

"I don't move. The volume of the sirens rises exponentially and I know that they're coming. The old man panics, but I doubt it was from the risk of being caught. He sees past my eyes. He sees the killer that I was…and he runs in fear."

"It is only now that I notice that he dropped something. A tool of death, not so different from the one that I used to end Kitazawa's existence, lay there in the snow. I pick it up. The cool metal stings my hand. It still has one more shot."

"I move on, tucking the weapon into my coat pocket. Its presence disturbs me, and the prospect of keeping it scares me, but I cannot deny its call. Seguchi and my brat sister must be looking for me. I can only hope that when they discover my whereabouts that what few threads of sanity they have left will be enough to compensate for my last error in judgment."

"I ascend a fallen-in staircase. This place brings back memories…Bad memories. Kitazawa Yuki died here…The fake and cruel Kitazawa-sensei. I turn the doorknob and it almost falls out of its place. I enter through the ancient door and take in my surroundings. The paint of the walls has peeled, revealing bare stone. Random graffiti litters the rock and torn furniture is strewn about."

"An empty bottle of whiskey rolls out from underneath the couch, halting next to my foot. I gaze down at it and the bloody echoes of the past flood into my mind. Yes, indeed Kitazawa died back there, in the park where the cabbie left me…The kind and caring Kitazawa to whom I had become attached, as if a force like gravity had brought us together. Then the same force destroyed me. The bottle that rests beneath me killed Kitazawa-sensei. I killed the fake…The one who paid thugs to beat and rape me. I killed them too. Their sick faces disgusted me, and my fright meant their undoing."

"Seguchi protected me from the truth, but now I know again. I remember. I sit down, my back against the cold wall. I retrieve the gun from my pocket and it clicks in anticipation of vengeance, or at least that's what I hear. Kitazawa Yuki died back there and here. The one I loved is lost to the snow that continues to plummet outside. The one who burns forever in hellfire; his spirit remains here."

"Forgive me Yuki."

"I plead, but do not wait for a reply. I hold the weapon to the side of my head. I can feel the heat of impending destruction. My brain swells with regret, and my heart aches tremendously. For the first time since I left home, I think about Shuichi…but I do not ask his forgiveness as I pull the trigger.

…

Oh! Oh! Smashing Blue! Oh! Oh!

The dried aftermath of the passing aftermath has begun to tell the tale
In tears, so silently…The wandering nights have passed

Shivering with the rain that trails down my body, a fleeting thought passes
In crimson allure…The wandering nights have passed

Colouring the radiant miracle
Smashing Blue
Beginning to make me true
The vanishing moon is silent
We don't even need your voice
Smashing Blue
Our bodies are left naked
Glittering just like twilight

Oh! Oh! Smashing Blue! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Smashing Blue! Oh! Oh!

Amid these glassy, stylish lies, my heart seems to want something
In memories, make me true
Fading, you are silent
Speed that could break us
Smashing Blue
Twilight is the time that begins everything and races on ahead

Oh! Oh! Smashing Blue! Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Smashing Blue! Oh! Oh!

Drama's preparations, the fake moon
The storyteller, burdened with loneliness
With awakened eyes, make it blue

Colouring the radiant miracle
Smashing Blue
Beginning to make me true
The vanishing moon is silent
We don't even need your voice
Smashing Blue
Our bodies are left naked
Glittering just like twilight

…

-Owari-