Okay, so I really Rosalie. She's annoying, she's self-centered, she's vain, she's mean, she's all around STUPID! So, therefore, I am going to bash her, make Emmett look like the hero, and have fun with it. Hopefully you can have fun with it too. Or maybe not. You may stare at the screen blankly and wonder if I've forgotten to take any medication, or if I've broken out my sponged room and in my nice safe insane asylum and stolen a computer. I shall now inform you that I did take my medication this morning, but it isa an advil as I'm sick. Not mentally, just normally sick –shifty eyes- and the asylum faculty are too busy trying to capture Adam West and Vampire Scooby to come after me yet. You'll never catch Vampire Scooby, so therefore will never try to catch me.
Slightly messed-up 'fic..um…especially so at the end. No, I don't know why I made Emmett do it…or how I got this idea….
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or New Moon. If I Rosalie..it wouldn't be pretty. If I owned Bon Jovi songs..I would die of happiness and be unable to write this, and I do not in any way, shape, or form claim ownership of insane persons Adam West and Vampire Scooby. Wait. I take that back. Vampire Scooby is my personal friend, but I don't own her. They own themselves, except maybe Adam West…the government might claim him as their crazy kitty/bat.
Emmett's 1st person POV
I'd had enough of her crap. I was done with her. She was a vain spoiled celf-centered littlee. Ugh! I can't even describe how much I hate her! I was gonna show her…with karaoke!
Emmett's 3rd person
Rosalie and Emmett were sitting outside.
" Rosalie said," Hey Emmett, you're being like, a dork again. Stop it or I'll get a divorce!"
" Good. That's exactly what I want!" Called Emmett.
" Eh?" Rose asked," Emmett, how could you!" pronouncing her "you" more you "joo", sorta blending her words in her whiny tone.
" Like…this!" He said hitting the background music. No lyrics, but a Karaoke screen in the portable TV he ad with him, and a mike.
" You brought a karaoke set to our dinner alone?" Rose asked.
" We're hardly alone, we're sitting in the middle of a crowded Mcdonalds watching people eat!" he called," We can't even eat!"
" Because I know I'm skinny and beautiful and watching them eat and get fats makes me special and important," she replied.
" Now, I shall embarrass you!" he said, starting to sing.
"Shot
through the heart, and your to blame, darling
You give love a bad
name"
" Eh? What's wrong with Joeybobbillyjoejack? It's a beautiful name! It was my mother's name!" Rose protested, Emmett just ignored and ontinued
"An
angel's smile is what you sell "You're a loaded gun ... yeah
"Shot through the heart, and your to blame "You
paint your smile on your lips "You're a loaded gun "Shot
through the heart, and your to blame "Shot through the heart and your to blame
"Shot through the heart
and your to blame "You give
love...
You promise me heaven then put me
through hell
Chains of love, got a hold on me
When passion's
a prison you can't break free
There's nowhere to run
No-one can save me, the damage is done
You give
love a bad name
I play my part and you play your game
You
give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
Blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boys dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was
your first kiss goodbye
There's
nowhere to run
No-one can save me, the damage is done
You give love a bad name
I
play my part and you play your game
You give love a bad name
You
give love...
You give love a bad name
I play my part and you play your
game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
I play my part and
you play your game
You give love a bad name
You give love a bad name
You give love...
You
give love a bad name
You give love...
You give love a bad
name."
Then he dropped the mike and said," You shot me in the heart..and now I'll return the favor.
Then, he pulled out a gun and shot Rose. In the chest. Where the heart was.
" Nooooo!" she cried," But I won't die!" Rose cried.
" So true," Emmett said," Time to get the pitchfork and torches!"
And then, he ran home at super-sonic speed screaming like a mad-man.
The Cullen Kitchen
" Esme," Carlisle asked," Do you hear that? It's..Emmett. Okay, 'fess up. Who gave him caffeine?"
That instant Esme hid her "murder fuel" coffee can under the sink.
I dunno why I did that. Me and Vampire Scooby were discussing our mutual hate of Rose and I imaged Emmett shooting Rose in the heart Oo. Why? The world may never know….
If you can name any references in this 'fic, PM me the answer and I may devise a "prize". Vampire Scooby, no giving away answers, and no YOU DON'T COUNT! Trust me, if I didn't say this, she'd try.