The Biggest Little Wedding in the World

by Valma

Daphne: I want to marry you.

Niles: I want to marry you!

Daphne: No, I want to marry you now!

Niles: As in... now?

Daphne: Yes!

Niles: Why?

Daphne: Why? Because you'd do anything, even put up with my insane family, to make me happy. Because you'd travel halfway around the world to make my dreams come true, even the impossible ones. And because I can't spend one more minute without being your wife, Niles Crane. Because I adore you.

Niles: But I thought you always wanted a big wedding.

Daphne: Do you want to make my dreams come true? This is my dream.

Niles looks deeply into her eyes, then takes her hand. Grabbing his coat, he leads her out the front door, closing it behind them…

Niles pressed for the elevator, as he held Daphne's hand tightly. He glanced up and gave an anxious little smile.

"This is when the elevator is supposed to come right away," he said half-embarrassed and chuckled lightly. "At least in the movies it comes immediately."

"Yes," Daphne concurred. "The besotted couple dash out the door and jump into the lift. When the doors close they fall into each other's arms and embrace – all the way down… " She giggled while she let his arm swing back and forth in a gentle swaying motion.

"And when the doors open," Niles continued, "There's… there's a crowd gawking at them… but they don't seem to mind, they just keep on kissing – they're so much in love." He pulled her hand up to meet his mouth and kissed it softly.

Niles let out a wishful sigh. Daphne pursed her lips and shook her head.

"What?" Niles said expectantly. "What's wrong?"

Daphne reached out and delicately stroked his cheek. "Nothing's wrong, sweetie," she assured him. "It's just that you are such a romantic. It's one of the things I love so much about you."

"Look who's talking," Niles teased her. "You're the one who marched over here at this ungodly hour, demanding that we get married right away. I… I was perfectly satisfied to wait."

"Speaking of waiting," Daphne said, "What's taking that lift? Do you think we should use the stairs?"

"And miss the opportunity to use the elevator as our kissing booth?" Niles coyly looked at her in a sidelong glance.

The moment the words were out of him, the elevator doors parted in front of them like the Red Sea. Always a perfect gentleman Niles allowed Daphne to go first, of course. But the second the door closed behind them, he leaned forward to receive his expected reward.

Daphne laughed and cheekily taunted him.

"Now who's the impatient one?"

Niles didn't answer and only pulled her close to him so that there wasn't a sliver of space between them.

"Ooh," tittered Daphne, "Who's your friend?" She let her hand wander down to his groin and applied just the right amount of pressure to make her point.

"I can't help it," Niles growled. "You drive me crazy, Daphne!"

He pressed her up against the corner of the elevator and kissed her deeply.

"Go on, Niles!" Daphne's voice dropped into a throaty whisper. "Tell me how wicked I am… how I … put a spell on you."

She punctuated each phrase of her sentence with kisses on his neck. Niles grasped her thick auburn hair in his hands and planted his lips firmly on hers.

"Oh, Niles!" Daphne shrieked.

Thump! The elevator reached it destination and the doors opened with a swoosh.

"Good evening Dr. Crane… Ms. Moon… "

"G… good evening, Mrs. Latimer," Niles leaned back and straightened his jacket. Daphne just smiled demurely. "Out for the evening… were you?"

The matronly condo board member didn't answer, but her tightly drawn mouth spoke volumes of disapproval at what she perceived as improper behavior. A bead of sweat rolled down Niles' forehead as he bumbled out an unsolicited explanation.

"We were… umm, we were… just… just stepping out for some air. It's… it rather stuffy in the apartment tonight, I'm afraid."

"Yes… well, some nights are stuffier than others, Dr. Crane."

As the doors closed on the elderly tenant of the Montana, Niles and Daphne clearly heard "… and some are noisier as well!"

"Oh dear," worried Niles as they passed through the doors of the building. "Do you think she'll cause some trouble? They are always on the edge about the noise we make."

"That old cow better not." sniffed Daphne indignantly. "She's probably just jealous because she's forgotten what it's like! Besides when we get back, we'll be a married couple and there isn't anything they can do about it!"

Niles stopped suddenly and turned to look at Daphne.

"We will, won't we." His eyes teared up and he reached out for her hand again.

"Yes, my pet, we will. Husband and wife… 'til death do us part."

"Um, Daphne?"

"Yes, Niles."

"Where are we… headed… exactly?" Niles stumbled on the words. "I mean – where do we go to get married tonight?"

Daphne paused and looked at him with widening eyes.

"I don't rightly now, dear. What time is it right now?"

"It's 11:30," said Niles glancing at his watch. "We can't possibly get married tonight at this late hour."

He looked up at Daphne without raising his head. He was waiting expectantly for her to make the next move. She bit her lip slightly and then grasped his hand a little tighter.

"Niles," Daphne sounded like she was feeling her way through a darkened room. "Niles, what if… what if we flew to… Vegas or Reno?"

Now his head tilted up to meet her gaze directly.

"Vegas? Reno? But… but we don't have any luggage or… or even a toothbrush. What would the people in the airport think?"

You're right," she replied contritely. "It's an impulsive, silly idea. We should just go back… and wait… like we planned all along. That's the sensible thing to do."

Daphne stopped and began to turn back towards the entranceway of the Montana.

Niles remained where he was. As Daphne noticed his passive resistance, she swung back around to face him.

"I didn't say we wouldn't go," he explained. "It may be impulsive and a bit silly, but it is also spontaneous and… and excitingly passionate… just like you."

He smiled at her.

"That's what I love about you so much," he added. "You make me see things that I never could imagine before I met you."

"Niles, you constantly surprise me," she said and kissed him on his cheek. "But seriously, shouldn't we at least go back and get a few things?"

"No, we'll just… what is the expression – we'll just wing it!"

"Are you sure, darling?" she asked.

"Yes," he said simply, his determination shining over his entire face. "Take your pick – Vegas or Reno. It's your choice, Daphne."

"Reno," she said thoughtfully. "It sounds a wee more exotic than Vegas and it's a bit closer."

"Then Reno it is, my love! Let's go… Taxi!"

"Niles… Niles, wake up."

"Go, back to sleep, Daphne," he mumbled as he gently pushed her hand away from his shoulder. Why was there such an echo in the bedroom… come to think of it, how come his bed felt so uncomfortable?

"Niles, they just announced our flight," Daphne prodded at his arm persistently. "We can board now."

"No, sweetheart, I'm not bored, just… just tired," he continued. "And this pillow isn't helping matters. It feels like I have a button in my ear."

"That's because you do! That pillow is your coat and our flight will be leaving soon, so get up now, Niles!" Daphne shook him again, this time with such vigor that he had to open his eyes - or risk falling onto the floor. Since his bones already ached enough, he deemed it necessary to accede to Daphne's demands to wake up.

The noise, the lights, the strange smells, slowly all began to come together and register in his consciousness.

Niles suddenly realised that the reason he felt so stiff was that he had just spent the last four and half hours trying to sleep bent up like a pretzel in a chair in the boarding area of the Seattle airport.

"What time is it?" he yawned wearily.

"It's 5:30 in the morning," Daphne answered as she pulled at an errant strand of hair that insisted on falling into her eyes. "And don't yawn… that… will… just start me… doing it… too." Yawns began to invade her sentences with increasing frequency.

"Sorry, my love," Niles said as he gave his eyes a rub and shook out the wrinkles in his crumpled overcoat. He reached out and gave her a hug and helped her up out of her seat. "We better get going – they said that the plane will be leaving a little after 6:00 a.m."

"Niles, if we ever get married again, and I suggest running off to Reno, just remind me of how sore my bottom is at this moment, all right?" She giggled at the ridiculousness of her statement and then leaned up against his shoulder as they walked up to the boarding attendant and started down the tunnel to the aircraft. "And if you say I told you so… I'm going to kick you!"

Niles just kissed the top of her head and joined her in her laughter at the absurdity of their decision.

"We haven't done anything this impulsive since I put Dad's Winnebago in gear and drove it down that lane way!" he reminisced.

"But, just think - it will make a wonderful story to tell our kids," she said with a tired smile as they found their seats and settled in for takeoff.

"Sir, could you check and make sure your seat is in an upright position and secure your tray."

This time it was Niles who nudged Daphne awake with a gentle shake and a welcoming kiss on her forehead, as he cinched her belt around her waist.

"Daphne, we're here."

She smiled and opened her eyes slowly.

She didn't say anything, but her hand squeezed his fingers with just the right amount of pressure that told him she was very contented.

"God, how I love this woman," he thought. "I still have to pinch myself to see if I am really living this, or if it is just some type of grand illusion. Here I am – tired beyond belief, hours from home, in another state, no hotel reservations, no provisions, not even a change of underwear, and I have everything I could ever need or want. I have Daphne Moo… Oh my God – in an hour or so, she'll be Daphne Crane – my wife!!! I am the luckiest man on the earth!"

Daphne leaned over and whispered in his ear, "I'm the luckiest woman on the earth right now."

Niles shook his head in amazement and said, "How did you do that? I was just thinking that I was the luckiest man! You really are psychic!"

"Well, that should come in handy, since we can always visit the gaming tables after the ceremony." she joshed.

Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the excitement of the moment that they both felt, but that simple joke sent them both into gales of laughter until all the heads on the plane turned their direction and someone muttered something about immature behaviour. Niles shushed Daphne with a strategically placed finger over her lips. She promptly popped the digit into her mouth and made such a sensuous gesture that Niles let it linger for a few minutes before wincing and withdrawing it reluctantly.

"Don't... don't tease me like this, please." The strain in his voice told Daphne that his torture was genuinely felt. "I want to marry you first, before I… before we… we – "

"Get lucky?" Daphne asked tantalizingly.

Niles gulped as the plane bumped down on the runway.

"Another gambling pun," he quipped. "If I didn't know better, I'd think that you had this type of wedding planned all along, right from the time I proposed."

"Not at all," Daphne insisted cheekily. "It was purely inspirational! Although right from the beginning I told you to buckle up when we were in the Winnebago, didn't I?"

"I just thought you were speaking metaphorically," Niles said. "I didn't really expect to end up strapping myself in a plane heading for Reno."

"Well, it's the unexpected things, Niles, that makes life so interesting." Daphne replied in earnest. "Now tell me I don't look like I slept in my clothes and let's go get married!"

"There it is!" Daphne cried, as she excitedly waved the free brochure that she had picked up in the airport about. "The Peppermill Casino and Resort… that's the one!"

The cab jerked to a stop. Niles took their newly acquired marriage license out of his wallet and carefully transferred it into the breast pocket of his suit jacket. He squinted as he looked through the car window, out at what promised to be a glorious, sunshine filled day in the "Biggest Little City in the World" - Reno, Nevada.

"You picked one of the best," chirped the driver. "But if you want a luxury suite it can be mighty expense!" The resort loomed before them, and Daphne bent down low in her seat to catch a glimpse of the full extent of the behemoth structure, an imposing testament to avarice and excess.

"Doesn't matter," said Niles confidently patting his wallet. "Money is no object, when you are armed with a credit card!"

They paid the driver and walked tentatively towards the entrance. It wasn't exactly familiar territory for either one of them. They did feel kind of awkward entering such an imposing complex without any luggage and looking a bit worse for wear from the long wait at the airport and subsequent plane ride. As they wended their way through the pressing crowd in the lobby, Niles began to reflect out loud.

"Lucky you don't need any written proof of a divorce in Nevada to get married," said Niles. "It wasn't until I was on the plane that I thought that I might be required to show the final decree of my divorce to Mel."

"Oh, Niles, this is Reno, darling," Daphne chided. "They invented the quickie divorce here! If they required an official piece of paper for everyone getting re-married, some people would be bringing three file boxes with them to the courthouse!"

"I'm one of those people," Niles pouted. "Divorced twice, remember?"

"Yes, you're a regular Mickey Rooney, you are!" Daphne jested. She stroked his cheek with affection. "Niles, I love you! And you love me! That's all that matters. Let's check in and see what time the closest chapel opens up. I can't wait to take a bath. Maybe I can buy a new dress in one of the hotel shops. Do you think we should make dinner reserva – Niles, what's wrong?"

"Well, I… I… I'm not sure but I seem to have misplaced my wallet," Niles' voice definitely started to rise in tone and volume as he pulled at his trouser pockets with an increasing amount of panic. "It… it was here, just a moment ago… I… I… don't know…"

He suddenly felt a constriction in his chest.

"Daphne," he stuttered. "I… I can't find it! It's… its gone!!"

He stumbled over the nearest chair and collapsed into it, his face drained of all color.

Daphne rubbed his back soothingly.

"You're not going to faint, are you Niles?" she asked sympathetically. Daphne looked around suspiciously at the river of tourists that surged past her. "Do you think we should contact the police?"

Niles shook his head dejectedly. "No, that won't do any good," he stated trying his best to let Daphne's vain attempts to placate his anxiety work on him. "Who… whoever's g… got it by now is long gone! B… but we should get on the phone and cancel my credit cards immediately!"

But even as he said those urgent words, he didn't accompany them with the corresponding action. He remained seated, as if the crisis had welded him to the chair. Niles ground the palm of his hands into his eye sockets and moaned, "This… is… a disaster! We should never have come to this haven of iniquity!"

Suddenly Niles gave a little jump, his whole body spasmed into an alert posture.

"Daphne! Daphne, do you have your credit card!"

His face broke out in a beam of hope.

Daphne's brow furrowed a bit and Niles' smile faded away as she spoke.

"Oh, sorry love. When we went to dinner with Mum and Dad last night I brought my small evening bag and it doesn't have room for my full wallet. All I have is my driver's license and few essential cosmetics and a bit of cash."

"Essential cosmetics! How about an essential like a Visa card!" Niles said testily. "How much room does that take up anyway?"

Daphne withdrew her hand from his back.

"Look," she intoned flatly. "I know you're upset right now, but you aren't helping any by getting grouchy with me. I didn't lose your wallet and we are in this together, so take a deep breath and let's start trying to figure out what to do. After all – it's our wedding day."

Niles looked up into her eyes. A pang of guilt swept over him.

"I'm sorry, Daphne," he professed sheepishly. "I should have never have said that. I… I guess I was just flustered by all this and I was taking it out on you. Can you forgive me, please?"

Daphne reached out and patted his shoulder.

"Of course, Niles," she said with a sigh and after a brief pause she continued, "Now, onto an important point – do you have the return tickets on you, or were they in your wallet?"

Niles felt for the envelope with the airline tickets in his jacket pocket and gasped dejectedly when he came up empty handed. He didn't have to confirm it with words – his face said it all.

"What about your cell phone?"

He shook his head. "I remember leaving it on the table by the door back home. I must have forgotten to put it in my pocket when we left. Damn!"

"No, no, that's all right," assured Daphne. "We can always call from a pay phone."

"That's right!" howled Niles with delight. "We can call Frasier and get him to wire some money for us to buy some return tickets. Our problem is solved! We're rescued!!"

They proceeded to the nearest public phone and after a lengthy delay scrounging for loose chain and exchanging a bill for some coins, they gathered enough money to make the long distance call to Seattle.

But their disappointment in losing Niles' wallet was only compounded when, after repeated attempts, they could not get any reply to their calls to Seattle. None of the phone numbers that they knew by heart seemed available to hear their pleas. Martin's cell phone was busy, Frasier's home line was also busy and his cell phone was turned off. Daphne couldn't remember the exact numbers for Roz's phones and when they tried all the combinations, none of them worked.

"Oh, why does she have to have an unlisted number!" lamented Daphne.

"If you had as many ex-boyfriends as she does," Niles said sarcastically. "You'd have your phone number unlisted too!"

"Just keep dialing!" Daphne moaned. "And stop being judgmental about other people's sex lives."

It was coming up on noon by the time Niles had reported his credit cards stolen and had them cancelled, tried all the Seattle numbers again, with no results and made inquiries of various people where the nearest Western Union agent was located. Daphne was on the verge of tears by this point. Niles could sense the tension rising.

"I know," he said with a certain amount of false cheer. "How much cash do you have Daphne?"

"Not even $10," she sniffled.

She looked inside her purse and counted briefly. "Seven dollars and change," she reported.

"Well, that should be enough," he said with a compassionate smile while he brushed away a budding tear from her eye before it traced its way across her cheek.

"Enough for what?"

Niles slipped his arm around her waist and drew her up close to him.

"For a romantic cab ride through Reno," he said encouragingly. "We can try to call Seattle again when we get to the Western Union office. By then one of them will be available, for sure! It will be better than sitting around here and not having enough money to do anything. What do you say?"

Daphne's paused and drew her bottom lip back in a bit.

"Well," she said slowly. "I guess we could do that. Loitering about in this fancy hotel and having less than ten dollars between us is just plain frustrating, really. And I think the security staff has given us the 'once over' about a dozen times by now. Let's give your idea a go!"

"Just think of this as making our lives more interesting," Niles said with a little boy grin and then kissed her on the nose. "Come on, Daphne, let's go find a cab!"

"Now we really will have something to tell our kids!" said Daphne with a nervous laugh as they gathered up their coats in their arms and walked out into the increasing afternoon heat.

"Who knew cabs were so expensive in Reno!" Niles fumed. "We wouldn't get half way there on the money we have! Now what?"

Daphne looked around in the now broiling street.

"Now Niles, I don't want you to get irritated, but desperate times call for desperate measures, all right?" she implored, trying to prepare him for what she was about to suggest. "What… about, umm… taking the bus?"

Niles turned his head and looked at Daphne as if she was delirious from the heat.

"The what?"

"The bus – you know… public transit," Daphne confirmed. "It says in this pamphlet that I picked up in the hotel, that the tickets are only $1.25 a piece and… that would give us enough money to make the call to Seattle and still have some left over to get a bite to eat as well."

Niles' mouth started to open in protest, but then he squinted up in to the withering heat of the afternoon. It had to be at least 90 degrees. They couldn't walk the over ten miles to the Western Union office and they couldn't afford a cab. There wasn't any choice.

"Sounds like a perfect solution," he said confidently. "Let's flag down a bus!"

"Umm… Niles you don't hail a bus, like you do a cab," Daphne informed him with a touch of incredulousness creeping into her voice.

Niles naively asked, "Well how do you get on one, then?"

"Have you never taken the bus before?" Daphne gave her head a little shake in wonderment. "Even when you were a medical student?"

"Well, no," he answered defensively. "But that was because I walked everywhere to keep in shape, not… not because I was a snob – which is exactly what you were implying – so don't deny it!"

"All right! I'm sorry!" Daphne rolled her eyes and made a clucking sound with her tongue. "But really, Niles! They're called bus stops, and you just line up and wait for the bus to come to you on its own schedule. Come on, there's one up a bit further. Let's just hope we can get one with a bench in the shelter so we don't have to stand in this heat!"

"I've heard of bus stops before," grumbled Niles under his breath. "I just haven't actually used one – that's all!"

He continued scowling as they plodded down the busy street for about five minutes until they reached the bus shelter. Checking the schedule Daphne noted out loud that the next bus would be along in 10 minutes, so she perched herself on the end of the metal bench.

Niles commenced with extracting his handkerchief from his suitcoat jacket and laid it down as a symbolic barrier between the dirty bench and himself at the other end. As the minutes ticked by, his stiff formal posture became decidedly more drooped in the relentless torridity, until he looked like he was about to slide off the seat at the slightest provocation.

Daphne finally took pity on him and slid down the length of the bench and put her arm around him. He glanced over at her and then instinctively rested his head on her shoulder with a sigh.

"This isn't working out the way I pictured it," he whimpered. "By now we should have been toasting our nuptials in the honeymoon suite of the Peppermill Resort – instead, here we are being made into toast in this giant outdoor broiler!"

"You'll feel a lot cooler if you took off that suitcoat jacket, sweetie," suggested Daphne tenderly.

"No," insisted Niles. "By now, I'll have you know, my shirt is completely soaked through and I just don't want people staring at me, thank you. I've suffered enough humiliation for one day – I just dread talking to Frasier… no wait – it will be even worse if I get Dad on the phone. At least Frasier will understand my frustration a bit better. Dad will just be disgusted at my ineptitude."

"Oh, Niles," Daphne said as she began to peel his jacket off of him slowly and loosen his tie. "You worry too much. No one will gawk at you because your shirt is a bit wet and your Dad won't scoff at you – well… he probably will roll his eyes and he might scold you a bit, but you know that it's just his way, so just ignore it. O.K.?"

She brushed her hand across his forehead in a gesture to comfort him as well as wipe the sweat away from his brow.

"Once we get to the Western Union office this will all be behind us… a distant memory… something to look back on and… oh, here's the bus!"

Daphne picked up his jacket and her coat, handed him the required bus fair and instructed Niles to "just follow my lead". Niles hesitantly gathered his coat and hankie from off the bench and trudged after her, carefully mimicking Daphne's every move, so as not to look too out of place.

"Keep an eye out for 4th Street," Daphne warned as they plopped down in a seat at the back of the bus. "That's where we have to get off. If you see it, you just pull the cord up there and the bus will stop. Oh, shoot! I think this is the one that makes all the stops and not the express bus. Better settle in – this could take a while."

"That's all right," said Niles with an air of resignation. "Nothing else has gone right today, so why should this be any different." He closed his eyes and tilted his head back until it rested on the back of the seat.

He began to grumble more to himself than to Daphne about how he just "wished this day would end" and how he'd give anything to be "anywhere else but here".

"We still have almost five dollars left," Daphne said, ignoring his whining, as she counted out the remaining cash in her handbag. "I think when we get to the money agent we should get something to eat and drink. It's been a while since we had anything and in this heat it's not a good idea to go without too long."

"Uh-uh, whatever," sulked Niles as he kept his eyes shut and hugged his outer clothing in his arms. He began to drift off as the bus lurched down the street in uneven fits and starts.

Suddenly he heard a sputtering sound and when he shook off his stupor and looked over, he saw Daphne's face screwed up in a tight red knot and tears starting to flow freely from her eyes.

"This isn't my ideal way to spend a day, you know!" she choked out in frustration. "I'm doing the best I can and a bit more appreciation from you could be used right now!"

The heads of the other passengers turned towards them.

Niles, fully alert now, reached out and started to plead with her to "Take a deep breath and calm down... "

"Don't!" she wailed. "I won't calm down! You've been acting just beastly for the last little while! You're not the only one who's disappointed!"

Niles immediately put his arm around her and she fell into his chest sobbing. He rocked her gently back and forth and repeatedly apologized for his selfish attitude as he stroked her arm in an act of contrition. Niles stared out the smeared and dusty window of the bus for a few moments, watching Reno blur by him, and then in a flash of illumination, he reached out and pulled the cord that dangled down within a couple of inches of his grasp. The bus rolled a few more yards and then came to a halt at the next marked stop.

Daphne raised her head in puzzlement. Her tear-stained face dug into his conscience.

"Why are we stopping here? We still have at least six more blocks to go Niles. Once we get off it will cost another almost three dollars to get back on again."

"We are getting off because… because I forgot something," Niles explained. "Something very important!"

"Forgot something?" Daphne squeaked. "Not your treasured hankie, I suppose! Niles – this isn't a good idea! We really should keep going on this bus!"

But Niles could be just as stubborn as Daphne in his own way, when he wanted to, and this was one of those times. He took her hand and guided her down the isle of the vehicle until they came to the doors.

"No, it wasn't my handkerchief. I'll explain it to you as soon as we get off."

Daphne hung back for a fraction of a second, glanced at the slightly impatient bus driver, and then stepped down through the folding doors, her hand tightening her grip on Niles' fingers.

"This better be good," was all she said. Once out in the street, she dropped her hold and crossed her arms defiantly across her chest.

"Just walk with me, please," he entreated her. "It's just back here a ways."

He offered her his hand again and smiled, his eyes coaxing her to trust him and go along with what he had in mind.

Daphne pursed her lips, but she finally caved in and placed her hand in his again. She remained silent, but that didn't really matter – Niles filled up the void by chattering nervously as they walked along the crowded thoroughfare.

"I don't know if this will work, but nothing else has… so we have got nothing to lose, do we? I can't stand another moment seeing you so sad. It suddenly dawned on me… the thing I forgot was… well I had forgotten the whole reason why we came here in the first place. This whole trip… getting married this way, was supposed to be symbolic of our passion for each other, our overwhelming love and here I am just moping about, feeling sorry for myself because things didn't work out the way we thought they would. Daphne – I love you more than anything else in this entire world! I would gladly get rid of everything I own… I could lose every cent to my name, and as long as you love me, I wouldn't care! When you came though my door last night and told me that you couldn't spend one more minute not being married to me, I realised that all the fancy trappings in the world didn't matter as long as we could be together. We came to Reno to get married – so let's get married!"

He came to a full stop and turned to face her. His eyes looked deeply into hers with a fervent hope that she was willing to look beyond the irritation they both temporarily felt - with the heat and the traffic and the disastrous time they had just gone through - and see what was truly evident.

"Ready?" he asked encouragingly, his eyes darting upward to a sign just above her shoulders.

"The Lucky Seven Marriage Chapel – Cheapest Weddings in Town" it read.

"But… but Niles," she stuttered, breaking out in a giddy laugh while the tears splashed down her face. "Even the cheapest place in town won't do it for four dollars and change!"

"I won't let that stop me!" he said with determination as he slipped his Bulova watch off his wrist and proceeded through the door with her in tow.

It took a fair bit of convincing, but Niles finally persuaded the wary fellow behind the counter to accept the expensive bauble as payment for their most basic ceremony. It certainly wasn't the fanciest wedding they could have had. But Niles insisted that their conscripted witness, a woman who was shopping for souvenirs in the attached gift shop, at least take the chewing gum out of her mouth to make sure the service didn't totally lack dignity. Daphne washed off her face in the miniscule washroom at the back and Niles donned his jacket and straightened his tie. Then, while the noisy fan oscillated back and forth with a wheezing sound, Niles took Daphne's hands and pledged his unwavering love to her. His voice trembled as he said his required lines and she answered him back with equal emotion. When the jaded man behind the pulpit finally said "I now pronounce you husband and wife – you may kiss the bride, partner." Niles gathered her softly in his arms and kissed her with such tender passion, even their indifferent witness wiped a wayward tear from her cheek.

"I love you so much Niles Crane," Daphne whispered in his ear. "This is the happiest day of my life."

"I knew it would be Mrs. Crane," Niles answered back.

"Congratulations, you two," sobbed the woman as she headed to the cash register to pay for her souvenir salt and pepper shakers in the shape of a pair of dice. "I hope you will be very happy together."

"I have another wedding party waiting, buddy," said the minister and he pointed to the exit.

"Not before I buy the bride a gift," insisted Niles. "What will it be darling – an 'I love Reno' hat or the roulette wheel sun glasses?"

"Umm… such a hard choice," Daphne giggled. "But I think I should go with the hat, don't you? It goes so well with my dress."

"Wise choice," Niles concurred. "And that leaves us with just enough money for a phone call to Seattle when we get to the money agent."

Niles tucked the legal paperwork carefully into his pocket and they strode out back into the hustle and bustle of the street with renewed vigor.

"Just imagine your family when they hear what we have done!" Daphne twittered.

"I know," Niles said pensively. " Your mother… I don't even want to contemplate that scene. Frasier, of course, will be furious – he'll rant on - about how he wasn't invited, and how we hurt his feelings… and Dad, he'll be disappointed that he wasn't here of course… I feel a bit bad about that."

"Me too," added Daphne. "Maybe… maybe we shouldn't tell them. I wonder if we could fake a ceremony somehow when we get back? I kind of would like to buy Roz a dress - you know – something with pouffy sleeves!"

"Or, we… we could let Frasier plan it – he'd like that!" mused Niles.

"That means there will be doves there, you know," cautioned Daphne.

"Well, it can't be helped, darling. We owe him that much at least. We will just tell them that we went away for a few days… for a romantic getaway! It won't be lying – just not giving them all the details."

Niles squinted into the distance, shielding his eyes with his hand.

"Daphne, is that the place we're looking for?"

The familiar Western Union logo shimmered up ahead in the heat of the street.

"Yes," she confirmed. "We finally made it. It won't be long now before we can rejoin civilization!"

Daphne's pace quickened as they traveled the last few yards between them and salvation of the money wire service.

"What the hurry?" teased Niles. "I thought you said this would make our lives more interesting… you know, something to tell our children."

"We've got plenty to tell the kids," Daphne retorted. "Right now all I can think about is getting to a hotel and getting into a tub! And by the way, Dr. Crane – you should be thinking about the same thing too, if you catch my drift!"

"How about a bubble bath?" Niles eyes danced up and down. "In a bathtub big enough for twoooo!"

"Just make the call," Daphne chirped impatiently. "Or we'll be sleeping in a shelter tonight."

Within a half an hour, the required cash was wired and they thankfully caught a cab to the nearest respectable hotel to spend the night, since their flight back to Seattle didn't leave until the next day.

Once up in their room, Daphne flopped on the bed exhausted. Niles shed his jacket and lay down beside her.

"Let's order room service and take that bath" he said calmly. "I don't want to go anywhere, except straight into your arms. And I want to stay there until we have to leave to catch the flight home."

He glanced at his wife, as she lay on the bed cover, her eyes closed and a trace of a smile on her lips. Niles propped himself up on one elbow and stroked her hair. He shifted silently over and kissed her until she responded back to him in kind.

"You're a filthy little pig," she murmured and then she opened her eyes to catch his reaction.

Niles obliged her with an uplifted eyebrow and a look of surprise at such a statement.

"And I am going to scrub you until you squeal!" Daphne burst out in a loud chuckle. "Come on, let's see if that tub really does fit two people!"

Niles didn't mind a bit when she stripped his clothes off and dumped them in a heap on the bathroom floor. He didn't even bat an eyelash, when they used their only apparel for mop rags to clean up the copious amounts of water that splashed over onto the floor after their aquatic lovemaking reached an unparalleled height and they tumbled onto the bed to finish off their night of passion. He wasn't the slightest embarrassed that he had to answer the knock on the door from room service draped only in a stiff hotel towel, and that by the time they got around to eating the food it was stone cold and hardly palatable. And he couldn't have cared less that, when he finally put his garments on again the next morning, he looked like a crumpled up paper bag and had to publicly been seen in that disheveled state all the way back to Seattle. None of that mattered one iota. What really mattered to him was that Daphne was finally his wife and he was simply the happiest man in the world.

And he knew that they would have a great story to tell their future children, about how mom and dad got married in Reno… but he also knew, that there were some delicious details that they would always be sure to keep… just to themselves.

The End