Touching the Dark
Author's Note: Lots of people write about Raven committing suicide, or hating herself, cutting her wrists, or just being plain depressed. If you're one of those writers, I'm probably about to offend you. I don't think Raven's depressed, and I really think that a lot of people make her out to be a lot more sad and pathetic than she is. In Spellbound she states "I'm not creepy, I'm just different." Just because she's different doesn't mean she's depressed or she hates herself…she's just different. She likes the dark. She likes dark things. I hate it when a fan fic writer makes the characters do things that they've only done in the series…like for instance people are endlessly making Raven JUST drink tea. Hello people! She's gotta eat sometime, and I'm sure that most people have forgotten the times that she's eat pizza with the Titans. Same thing with BB and tofu. Earth calling writers: Vegans eat more than just Tofu. In fact, I've found some really good vegan recipes online, I highly suggest people that are interested should try Google for Vegan Recipes. Anyway, at the moment, this story hasn't much of a point other than showing a little bit of the world through Raven's eyes (though I'm thinking that its going to have some BbxRae in it, and it'll eventually lead to some stuff involving Raven's darkside). I'm sorry if I've annoyed anyone with my rant…but I had to get it off my chest, it was really bothering me.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Chapter 1 – The Dark
The blackness enveloped her. She breathed it in, allowed it to become part of her. To her it was beautiful in a way normal people could never understand. It was in the dark she that was the happiest. Some people like the dark because they're afraid of the light, and some people like the dark because it reflects their feelings, but for Raven the reasons were different. She loved the darkness. She loved how unbroken it was. She loved how thick it felt, as if she could reach out and caress it. Everything about the dark entranced her. The dark was calming, she loved how it felt on her skin. For Raven, darkness was more than just the absence of light, it was a friend…a quiet listener that would never betray secrets.
"Raven! Please come out." Beast Boy called. Raven didn't respond. If she spoke, she felt it would break the darkness. Beast Boy called again, "Come on Raven! I didn't mean it that way!" She knew he was sorry, but she couldn't forgive him. It wasn't the comment, it was what he was doing now. He was breaking the darkness, and that was a sin that was too much for her to forgive. Momentarily she allowed for her anger to flare. 'Shut up' she thought as she quickly got up and opened the door.
"Please go away. I do not desire your company." Raven said quickly as she slammed the door.
"But Raven!" Beast Boy called through the door. Angrily Raven turned and opened the door once more. "I said 'Go away' and I meant GO AWAY."
"…but…" Beast Boy started, slightly afraid to contradict her.
"If I tell you you're forgiven, will you go away?"
He considered this for a moment, "Would you mean it?"
She rolled her eyes, "No, but if you leave right now, I can manage to forgive you."
"All right…" Beast Boy said, unsure of himself. He sadly turned to go. He's feelings were obviously hurt. Raven's anger softened for a moment. She hadn't meant to hurt him, she just wanted to be alone. She shook her head, and closed the door.
She just wanted to be alone. She was sure the rest of the world thought that she was depressed, but it wasn't true. She just enjoyed her own company. What was so wrong with that? 'I can entertain myself. Why does everyone have to think I'm some depressed queen of the dead? I just want to be alone.' Once again she was left to the dark, but for some reason it was different from before. Her concentration had been shattered. There was a thin line between alone and being lonely, and her concentration had just crossed the line. Having the opportunity to talk to someone, now she felt a little pang for want of conversation…
She sat back down on her bed and tried to enjoy the darkness. After a few minutes she knew it was useless. She was going to have to find someone. A little thought crossed her mind. 'Maybe I should apologize to Beast Boy…I was a little short with him…and I know he didn't mean it…But on the other hand he is the reason I can concentrate.' She finally decided to just get out, maybe a short flight around the city would calm her nerves, and allow her sweet seclusion once more.