Dean sighed. He didn't just sigh, he emotionally exhaled with the sorrow of a thousand abandoned puppies. But it was manly. Because he was Dean Winchester.
Suddenly Sam popped in, munching on a bowl of leaves and scratching his antlers. "Mmmmmrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaghhhhh."
Dean nodded absently. "Yeah, alright. I'll look into it."
"Mmmmaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhh." Sam exited stage right.
Something touched his shoulder. Dean screamed—a manly shout, of course—and swiveled around, dropping his Busty Asian Beauties magazine with masculinity.
"DEAN," Cas said with (not very) great emotion. "YOUR MANLY ASSISTANCE IS NEEDED."
Dean's macho eyes rolled. "Of course. What for?"
"I SEEM TO HAVE RUN INTO A DILEMMA."
Dean huffed with the ruggedness of a wild grizzly bear eating a deer. Alive. "What kind of dilemma, Cas?"
"A COMPLICATED ONE."
Castiel was staring intensely at him, so Dean reached behind him and whipped out a "NO HOMO" sign. The writers made sure to include it just in case people got the wrong idea and started, y'know...shipping them. Because even though they had a "profound bond," needed each other, and had killed for each other although they weren't even related, clearly their relationship was obviously, completely platonic.
Because of Dean's machismo, of course.
Suddenly! Crowley jumped in. "Don't listen to that poxy git, Dean!" he shouted. "He's nattering on about this and that and getting his knickers in a twist over nothing!"
Dean glared at him with the intensity of a thousand burning suns. If Crowley had been human he would have spontaneously combusted. "You're pathetic," he spat. "Just like your mom in bed."
Crowley shrieked, whipping out his junk and peeing all over Dean in anger. Dean roared and lopped off his man bits with the First Blade. Sam came galloping in, but was blasted back from the sheer manliness emanating from Dean. Cas squinted and shielded his eyes.
"You bloody arsehole!" Crowley seethed. "I'll box your ears for that, you munter!"
"What the hell is he saying?" Dean stage-whispered to Sam, who just hummed.
Dean handed back Crowley Jr. and the king of hell whimpered. "We can fix this," he promised Little Crowley. "It'll be all right."
"Well," Dean admitted, pulling out a pair of sunglasses from his back pocket, "I guess that was kind of a..." he put on the sunglasses, "...dick move."
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Cas screamed, pulling an electric guitar out of thin air and striking the chord.
"Marrrrrrrrhhhhhh!" Sam complained.
Dean threw the sunglasses off. "Yeah, Sam's right. We gotta stay on topic."
"What topic?"
"No one asked you, Junkless the Second." Cas snickered and Dean fist-bumped him.
"Oh yeah, dude, what was up with you anyway?" Dean asked with the masculinity of a rock star riding a lion made out of steel and breathing fire. While playing AC/DC.
"OH YES," Cas stated with (not much) feeling. "DEAN, WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM?"
Dean smacked his hand into his forehead. In a manly way.
THE END
Obviously I wasn't entirely coherent writing this. Hope you enjoyed anyway! XD