Surprise new fanfic! *bam*

This is mainly written because a) I've had pieces of plot in my mind for ages and now they come together and it's like an epiphany and b) because Guest53 wants me to. I often say that Iblis is my fanfic-writing muse, but honestly, 53, I think it's rather you. I write so much off your ideas and your encouragement these days. I have no idea who you are and what your story is, and yet you're so important to my writing. I will never meet you, or know your name, or hug you, but I will dedicate this fic to you. I hope you like it. *bows*

This kinda should have more than two categories, as it's actually an Adventure/Romance/Humor/Suspense/HurtComfort/Friendship/Supernatural crackfic! As is every well-written work of fiction, I might add. (Sure hope that this is well-written though)

Warning for mild guy-on-guy in later chapters. Also some of my OCs (some people don't like those).

Now, before we head over to the first chapter, have this mysterious prologue! Haha, try and make sense of that, y'all!

Disclaimer: Neither do I own anything, nor do I mean to offend anyone.

Reviews and suchlike are always welcome and will definitely be answered. At least if they're not random trolling. That'll be ignored because I don't need that kind of negativity in my life or whatever. But if you have constructive criticism, feel free to share it with me – I love a good discussion.

Hmm…will that be all? If you love Iblis and you know it, clap your hands!? *clap clap* Ah well, whatever, on with the story.

"So you won't cooperate?"

"Sorry, boy. I'm afraid it isn't that easy."

Somewhere, in a remote corner of the world, in a spacious room with heavy stone walls and an almost unbreakable iron door, a boy and a woman stood facing each other. The room was large, but dark and damp; it looked somewhat like a dungeon. The woman was dark-haired, pale and very tall, her figure was that of a woman athlete. The boy, also dark-haired and somewhere within his teenage years, sported the expression of someone who had expected to come out on top of a situation, only to find he really wasn't. The woman was standing between him and the door, blocking his way out.

The boy said: "I went through all this trouble tracking you down…"

"And I couldn't care less if I tried" the woman interrupted him coolly. Did I mention the large, black-bladed longsword she was holding casually in one hand, pointed at his throat?

"Look, honey, I don't help djinn. Especially not little dipshits like you. And I've no intention to be in on that crazy stupid plan of yours. Did you honestly think your measly djinn powers would be enough to bind me? Thinking is not your thing, is it?"

"They told me you were bound to this place…"

"Bound, yes, but not powerless. This is my lair. You have walked in here like a stupid little fly into a spider's web and tried to attack me. And I'm going to squash you against the wall like the weak little fly you are."

"I will be stronger" he said. "As soon as I have the staff…"

"You will be nothing" she mocked, smiling cruelly. "Right now, I have half a mind to wipe the floor with you before I kill you, little bastard. Or maybe bind you to me and take you as a slave. I could use a djinn slave. Maybe a less annoying one, though."

He clenched his teeth, but said nothing.

"Now humor me" she said. "What was it you wanted to do again, when your batshit plan comes together?"

"I don't have to tell you that."

She prodded him once, very lightly, with the sword. "This is a demon sword, honey. Also this room is djinnproof, and the door is locked. I'm inclined to say you're wrong. You have to do whatever I say."

He rolled his eyes and groaned, sounding more exasperated than afraid. "I'm going to look for my father" he answered her question.

Suddenly, the woman's arrogant smirk fell, and she let out a little gasp.

"Iblis" she whispered. Her sword-free hand went up to her chest and clutched a golden locket that was hanging there, in a weird contrast to the rest of her worn-out biker outfit.

"Yes, Iblis" he smirked triumphantly, mistaking the expression on her face for fear.

The woman strode over to the door and threw it open.

"Leave."

"Wh…what?"

"You heard me. Leave. There's the door." She gestured there with her sword.

"You're not killing me?"

"Go away."

He made for the door to freedom as fast as he could without running, but in the door he turned around again.

"You know that that's pretty stupid, right?" he asked. "You know that I'll return to you as soon as I have the staff."

She smirked. "Let's see about that."

"You think I'm not gonna make it? Well, I will. I'll find the thing. I have friends now, powerful friends, that'll help me. And as soon as I have found my father…"

"Try China" she interrupted.

"What?"

"You're looking for your father? Try looking in China."

The boy rolled his eyes again. "That's a pretty large country, China. Any more specific?"

The woman bit her lip, looking insecure all of a sudden, probably thinking about how much she should tell him. Then her hand snuck up to the golden locket again.

"Xian" she said. "Try there. And hurry. Or else the only thing you might find is your father's cold corpse."

"Was that a threat?"

"No. That was a prediction. Just…just fucking hurry up, okay?"

As the boy's hurried footsteps died away in the distance, the woman lowered her sword, stowed it away in a sheath on her belt and said to herself: "Let's see if that decision won't come back around to bite me in the ass…"

Then she closed the dungeon door again, sat down with her back to it and buried her face in her hands. And nobody heard her whisper: "Oh Iblis…Rudyard…I pray to god he finds you…"