Category: Humour/Romance

Pairings: S/J (who else?)

Rating: PG13

Season: Five. Minor spoilers for Ascension

Summary: Fluff alert. Sam's fed up of being a workaholic and decides that it's time to rebel a little. Unfortunately she's out of practice and doesn't quite know how to do it.

Disclaimer: they're not mine and I'm not making any money from this. I'm just having (far too much) fun.

A/N: Oops! I only wanted Sam to act out a little but she just wouldn't have it and said "No, I wanna go out and have some fun!" Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.
Sam sat slumped at her desk, bloodshot eyes closed as she tried to pretend to sleep for a few minutes. Her shoulders were screaming, both from the demands of her last mission and the hours spent in front of her computer terminal since returning. While she knew she'd been stiffer and more tired in the past, she hadn't felt this despondent for a long time and she didn't know quite how to rectify the situation.

Her team had shared a particularly grueling mission schedule recently, which had culminated in a simple exploratory mission turning into a mud bath. They'd trekked ten clicks north of the gate so that Daniel could look at some ruins the UAV had spotted, only to discover that there were no writings or signs of life when they arrived there. While Daniel had still managed to wax enthusiastically about the rough shelters, the rest of the team had been distinctly unimpressed. And then it had started to rain.

The pleasant hike they had experienced on their way out had turned into a grueling endurance test as they slipped and slid their way back to the gate, the mud clinging everywhere. Sam could still feel it squelching between her toes. Her sense of relief at finally nearing the gate had been so great that she had sped up, desperate to reach home, only to trip and fall head first into a patch of particularly boggy ground. Only Teal'c had offered her a hand up, admittedly with one eyebrow quirked; the other two jokers had been too busy laughing, Daniel particularly delighted that it hadn't been him to fall in for once.

When they finally stepped through the gate, Sam had wanted to punch someone. Her team mates may have been soaked and filthy up to their thighs but she was caked in mud from head to toe, with spiky hair and murky streaks decorating her face. The quirk of General Hammond's lips and the amusement of the airmen standing by had done nothing to soothe her temper. Reminding herself to breathe deeply she'd headed down to the showers, only to find that the men had already beaten her to it. By the time they'd finished up and let her in, the stinging needles of water beating on her back were only luke-warm and were rapidly cooling.

So she had decided to rebel. General Hammond had granted them a week's downtime, with the sole condition that they all caught up with at least some of the backlog of paperwork cluttering their desks. It had been her turn to smirk as Jack grumbled, being the one who was significantly behind with his work. She chose to forgo the impending fireworks between her COs and slip home, into a steaming bath scented with her favourite essential oils. Lying there, she resolved to take it easy this break and really relax properly. Which is why she hadn't headed back in till mid-afternoon the next day.

She groaned softly to herself and opened her eyes; maybe she hadn't quite got the hang of this relaxation thing. Only to jump in shock as she saw her CO sitting directly opposite her, a grin on his face as he fiddled with something he'd picked up off her desk.

She felt the blood run into her cheeks with mortification at being found 'asleep' at her desk again, and she made a grab for the object in his hand. "Geez Sir, you frightened me half to death! Don't you have anything better to do than sneak into my office?"

His grin merely widened as he saw her flush. "Now is that any way to talk to your commanding officer, Carter? I was on my way to bed after a hard day's work," she snorted in disbelief, "And just wanted to check on the morale of the troops before turning in. Not that I was hoping to find my troops here of course, since apparently everyone's more up to date with my paperwork than I am. Teal'c is in his quarters, surrounded by candles and doing his jaffa thing and Danny's lab is empty: even he's gone home for a break. Perhaps you can imagine my amazement at finding my 2IC both on base and oblivious to the world."

He leant in towards her and swiped the doohickey back, amusement lurking in his voice. "So would you care to explain to me exactly what you're doing here while you're supposed to be on downtime, Carter? And what the hell this thing is anyway, it looks a little tacky for an alien device."

And she'd thought her cheeks couldn't redden any more. "I am on downtime, I didn't come in till after lunch!" flew out in one jumbled rush of air. She paused and took a deep breath, lips quirking. "And that's an executive toy my brother gave me last Christmas." She shrugged. "We've never been a close family, finding suitable presents can be hard."

Unbelievably, Jack gave the toy a look of disdain and put it right back where he'd found it. Only the galaxy's finest for this colonel. "Carter, I would tell you to get a life but we already know that doesn't work. I suppose I should just be glad that you're only doing twelve hour shifts."

Sam glanced down at her watch and was horrified to see that it was after midnight. Maybe she did need a life. "No Sir, you're right. I had no idea it was so late. Maybe we could all have a team night tomorrow or something – pizza and movies round my place?"

It was Jack's turn to flush and his voice became unusually hesitant. "Well, normally that would be great but, well, tomorrow Danny, T-man and I already have plans. Kinda a guys' night. You'd be welcome to join us but, anyway, I don't really think it's your sort of thing."

Sam's instinctive reaction was pain, but she determinedly pushed that aside into irritation. There he was, telling her she needed to socialise more, but he didn't seem to want to spend a casual evening out in a group together. She'd thought that even after everything that had happened, they were still friends. "Come on Sir, you know I can out-drink and outshoot most men. Now you don't want me to come out and do a guy thing? What exactly do you have planned that I can't come along for?"

Jack looked at his 2IC in surprise: while nothing she'd said was untrue, she wouldn't normally use that tone of voice with him. Which prompted him to put an edge in his voice. Plus, he didn't exactly want to admit where they were going; while he wasn't ashamed precisely, Sam's high opinion meant a lot to him and he wasn't sure how she'd react to his confession. "We're actually going to watch some jello-wrestling, Major. Sure you don't want to join us?"

Sam couldn't believe her ears. Of all the stupid, misogynistic pursuits… "Sure, why not?". She really hadn't meant to say that. Oh crap.

That pretty much summed it up for Jack too, but he wasn't about to back down. "Great, looking forward to it. Pick you up at eight?" He studied Sam's face intently, wondering exactly how she was going to get herself out of this one.

Apparently she wasn't. Her heart sank as she considered her options but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of calling her bluff. Enough of playing the meek little major; she'd decided that she was going to rebel and damn it, this was a pretty convincing way of doing it. "I can't wait. I'd better be off though: guess I'm going to be needing my beauty sleep for tomorrow." With that she nodded and stood up, gathering her belongings to head home. She prayed that she'd wake up soon and find herself sprawled out over her desk or even better, back home in bed. No such luck.

She was halfway out the door when a voice called after her, stopping her in her tracks. "Ah Major? Don't forget your bikini for tomorrow night; I'm sure you could whip any of those bimbos in there."

Sam's whole body whipped round and she caught Jack's gaze with her own: if looks could kill… His relaxed, slouchy pose radiated amusement at her situation and the shit-eating grin on his face spoke volumes about his feelings. Then she caught herself and swept out the room, not deigning to reply to his comment. She was going to show him that she could enjoy the night if it killed her! Unfortunately that was seeming more and more likely as time went by, but it would all be fine. She had a PhD in astrophysics but more importantly, she had a girlfriend who would give her all the advice she needed. Sam was definitely paying a visit to Janet in the morning!

Jack sprawled out on his stool, his mind blank with shock for a minute. Just when he thought his major had lost her ability to surprise him; it looked like she'd be going along with them after all! As he headed back to his quarters he made a mental note to give Danny and T-man a heads up in the morning. Their plans might have been altered but this was certainly going to make for a much more interesting evening!

A/N: Yes I am insane, I know. Unfortunately I've never seen any jello-wrestling – I'm not even sure we have any in England! If anyone could give me a heads up I'd really appreciate it. Otherwise I'm just going to let my imagination run away with me and that could be very dangerous!