"Cal…" Gillian entered Cal's office, ready to leave for the day.
"Yes, Gillian?" Cal was sleep reading on the couch, in his study room. Once he hears her voice he jumped to his feet and come out. He stands at the doorframe watching her. She takes a seat on the couch and remains there motionless. Something has changed. She kicked her shoes aside and tucked her feet under her legs. Nothing comes yet over her mouth.
"Would you tell me?" Her head's down, as far as this goes she's ashamed.
Cal takes a seat near to her on the couch. She's been crying, her makeup was screwed up. Instinctively his hand move along her arms, to her shoulders and he embraces her thin silhouette. She pulls him closer and hugs him with all her strength. Cal takes that as a signal to don't let go just yet. After a while her sobs start to calm and her grip on him starts to vanish. He gives her one of his hands and cleans her tears with the other. He traces her jaw line with his open hand resting it on her chin. "Tell you what love?"
She tries to jostle her face away from him, but he brings his other hand up and holds her still. Closing her eyes she whispers something almost inaudible "Cal, If … If you knew something that would hurt me, would you tell me?" That said, her eyes opened shut and her piercing gaze makes Cal to startle this time. Her eyes, her blue eyes, are now again full of tears and he could saw how much worry she has.
"Well, I guess that's why we have that bloody line of yours. Isn't it?" He tries to avoid her answer, regain some time and posture. Because somehow he doesn't even know what's going on with her. Bloody hell Foster, what's all this about? It's everything that crosses his mind, but he can't tell her that.
Annoyed by his answer she stands to her feet and starts to walk across the room. Her fluid movements in her bare feet make Cal wonder if she's even human. But her frenzy voice full of anger remembers him she is totally. "Classic deflection, Dr. Lightman… Can't you be honest with me just this one time? Would you or wouldn't you tell me if I've done something wrong?"
"Gill, I don't understand your point. There's even a right answer to that question? Is there something you want me to tell you? Something I should've known?" Confusion's all over Cal's face. He was the expert but this time she had him.
"It's nothing Cal, you know me… I'm… I'm just … Forget it, I shouldn't have." She comes near him and grabs her shoes and coat. "See you tomorrow."
"Gill, wait. That's not right love, don't do that." But she's gone and the only thing he hears is the echo of his voice on the hall.
When she came home her head was a mess. She had screwed everything. She was supposed to show her love to him, instead she let him thinking she was nuts. How difficult it was to stand there so close to him, in his arms. She wanted to touch him, kiss him, and show him she was the right choice. But all she kept thinking was Wallowsky spending time with him, time he was supposed to be with her. God he made her so mad sometimes. Why he kept pushing her, screwing things in the Group? Was he trying to send her a message? Was he trying to make her see that she was just his business partner? And all the late nights she'd spend on her office trying to make the finances go well. This was the way he thanked her, by going on dates with Sharon.
A tap in the front door startles Gillian from her thoughts. "Gillian I know you're home! I saw you're car on the driveway. Please, open the door!" Cal smooth voice came in.
Her breath catches, she couldn't talk to him right now. She wouldn't know what to say. She would only screw the things more between them. But he knew she was home. She decides to remain silent and sits in the floor behind the door.
At the lack of answering Cal decides he's not letting her alone tonight before he could understand and says: "I'm not leaving, you open the damn door or I'll open it myself!"
A soft cry come from the inside: "Cal, go away!" Silent tears are falling down her cheeks. She remembered when a professor told her that people could cry for days when they've been holding their suffering to long.
"Gillian Foster, would you open the door? At least explain me what's going on with you. I've never seen you like this. I'm worrying Gill." Gillian doesn't need to be a voice expert like she was to know Cal was really worried. He have always concerned about her well being. And that's why she loves him so much, if only he knew.
"Cal, please go away! I'm not talking to you tonight!" Gillian could manage to say between sobbing. She gets up from the floor and heads to the kitchen.
"Love, have you forgot I got your spare key? I'll use it, if you don't open." Cal says making her to freeze.
Cal never thought she would open, even with him threading to get in. Because he thought she would know him. He got the key, but he never used it and he'll never open her door if she asked him not. He respected that woman more than anyone else. If only she knew how in love he was with her. Everything she'd been doing, saving him and the company all this time. She was smart and funny and innocent. She was his Gillian and he needed to know what was wrong with her. All the trouble he had been causing just to avoid her. She was perfect and he was just a screwed up guy. He would never let her be in love with him, even if he loses her forever. She couldn't get in love with him it will make her suffer, because he was no good for her. Burns was a great guy, he would make her happy.
A click interrupts his feelings. He pushes the door open but Gillian isn't there anymore. So he gets in the house and starts looking for her.
Gillian was in the kitchen boiling water to make tea. He touched her shoulder lightly with the back of his fingers, making her to shrug and move on to the sink. Once there she grabbed two cups from the cupboard. While she made their tea she never looked at him and they didn't talk. It's like she was ignoring him. She offered him his cup of tea and walked to living room.
Cal followed her lead. Actually, they didn't need words between them. Sometimes words made it even more difficult. They seat comfortable on the couch and drink their tea in the dark. She didn't turn the lights on and Cal thought it was ok. Long minutes passed maybe hours. Gillian was no longer crying and Cal was no longer anxious because he could feel she was ok.
Gillian could feel his gaze on her, despite the darkness in the room. He always got that power over her. She could feel his gaze like he was touching her. So she took advantage of the darkness and got closer to him. If she couldn't say what she was feeling, she definitely could show him. She moved quickly on the couch. Temporarily Cal had dropped his head back to the couch and he didn't notice her intention. He just felt Gillian seating on his lap moving her hands in circles on his chest. She holds his face with her hands and trusted her lips to his. The kiss was tender and funny because Cal could still taste the salt of her tears in her lips and the sweet of the tea. And something else that he made a mental note would be Gillian's taste. Something he would never forget. When they paused for air, yes paused, Cal was wishing this was just a pause. But he couldn't see her.
"What are we doing? This seems so right but we will regret this so badly in the morning." He caressed her face and pulled her closer in his lap, that's when he feels her lips again and his hands moved to her rub her back. He needed her to be closest to him as possible and Gillian was probably thinking the same judging from the soft moans she was giving him. Cal had no strength to interrupt it. Instead he kissed her deeply savoring her. God, she smelled so good and her mouth was so warm. She took off his shirt and trailed kisses down his chest teasing him with her tongue. She tangled her fingers in his and leaded him to her bed. They made love passionately, slowly memorizing everything from each other, kissing every inch of flesh, touching and savoring. And when morning was starting to come they fall a sleep holding each other tightly.
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