Hey, everyone! This is a just a random idea I came up with. I plan to make this a multi-fic that is pretty much every idea Smeagol has to kill Sam, so it's all going to be in his POV. There will most likely be mentions of Frodo, depending, but we'll just see where it goes :) Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Reviews are cherished ;)
Disclaimer: I don't own this. This belongs to the amazing creators of Lord of the Rings
Chapter 1: "First Death"
Idiot.
What an idiot. That stupid, fat hobbit tries to controls us, but no! We sooooo won't lets him. No. Can't have that. He's just stupid and fat and ugly and…brute. He beats up poor, defenseless Smeagol.
Let's kill him.
Yessss…
Plan A:
We have it! We'll kill him…with wolves! Yes! Yes, the wolvesis will come in the deepest night and attack the fat one! YES!
No…will there be a trace to Smeagol? No. No, no. Smeagol needs his handses clean (to others, even though he will send the hobbit to his deaths). What to do then? The wolves are common around the world. Are there wolves…in the Shire place though? Oh, no! There aren't any!
Idiot, idiot, idiot!
Ohhhhh…forget that. We take that whole part back (not whole, just the wolf). We won't use wolves. There aren't any in the Shire so they will catch Smeagol and he won't be able to gets out of that trap. We will be caught.
Oh! What would Master do if he found out we killed his friend? He will look at us with betrayal and anger and…..ahhhhhh! Send us aways! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Smeagol doesn't want that's! No! Never! That is not ideal for us!
We just won't get caught. Yessss. Perfect plan. Wolves are too risky. We can't risk the wolves. They'll be the sending away of us and get us into troubles with the Master. We need something elses…what though? We need something ferocious, wild, fast…and will eat the hobbits (the fat hobbit, not Master). Hmmmmmm….and won't put any suspicions on us.
Cheetahs!
Yes! Yes, cheetahs will do the trick! There's no way they can trace those back to us. No. Not poor Smeagol. Where would he get a cheetah? What is cheetah anyways? A ferocious, wild, fast and hobbit-eating cat…? What?!
Poor hobbit…
Not! (Haha).
So we will starts by catching the cheetahs and bringing them to the woodses behind the Hobbiton town.
Easy.
Now for the hardest part. How do you lure a fat hobbit out to the woodses that has wild cheetah cats in it?
A set up?
Perhaps…
We'll just lure him out there, how 'bout? Yessss. We will plant those…ugh. Awful taters out there and tell him some vile creature has stole them in the night and eh has to hurry quick to gets them back. We will show him the way and when we gets to the woods…BAM!
Hmmmmmm…how to keep the cheetahs restrained? Oh, three will do. Four is too much to handle and two won't do the job. Not how we want it done. Not effective with just twos. Fat hobbit could scream during that time and then it will be ruins. All ruined. Three will do and we'll tie them to a tree stump until Smeagol gets there to let loose the beastes.
We'll also take part of his garden out there. Leave a trail, we think, (of soil and perhaps purple flowers) that lead to the woodses. Yes! The taters and his preeeeeeecioussss flowers should do the trick.
Eureka!
We can't wait. Soon (very soon) the fat hobbit with the stupid brain. Will. Be. DEAD! (Hahahaha!)
We just need to get those cheetahs first…
Well, there it is! I hope you enjoyed it! This is mostly just a rant so that's why it seems to be all over the place ;P Also, if you see any typos then they are most likely on purpose. The weird spellings of the words just seem to fit Smeagol's unique voice better.