Only You

by Kryss LaBryn

A/N: A friend (EthaNox) and I were chatting the other day, about why Elias wears the veil. And when he started. And so I went back and looked at when he left Lindel (which is the start of chapter 38/Episode 21), and noticed something. And made myself sad.

So I wrote this to share the misery. Heh.

The autumn leaves flamed and glowed in the light of the lowering sun, flashes of colour bright against the paling blue sky as the rising breeze danced through them. Chise tugged her scarf a little tighter. She'd have to switch to a thicker jacket, soon.

She glanced up at Elias, walking beside her. His own pace was so much longer than hers that he'd often just scoop her up and stride along, his long legs easily eating up the miles home; but whenever they journeyed back from Town, as she was learning the locals called London, he was usually content to simply slow to her pace, wandering along beside or a few steps behind her.

Did the long trip tire him? Did he simply think his puppy needed the exercise occasionally? She couldn't read his expression. He'd worn his human glamour in Town, of course; but even in his usual form, here on the final lonely stretch home, he had his face veiled.

A gust of wind toyed with the dangling edge, blowing it aside, giving her a glimpse of his teeth. Why did he even bother with it? Did he honestly think it hid him, disguised his inhuman face? It didn't hide him at all; it even left his horns bare.

"Elias?" she asked, curious now. "Why do you wear that veil?"

"To hide my face," he replied, almost in an aside.

"But why? It doesn't hide your face, you know. Not really."

"It hides my eyes."

"I suppose? But, I mean, you can still see that you're not, you know, not... human."

Elias huffed slightly through the cloth. "I know. That's not the point. That's what the glamour is for."

Chise slowed, confused. "But... then..."

He stopped, turning to face her. "It hides my eyes."

Chise blinked up at him, silent, not wanting to press him further, but still not grasping his point. Weren't his teeth scarier to people? Or just—his head being just a skull?

Elias sighed, glancing around the empty countryside, and flipped back the veil. "Chise—look at me."

She obeyed, her eyes flitting over his face before meeting his own glowing pupils, confusion still plain in hers. He crouched, putting his face almost at the same level as hers, and taking her hand, pulled her closer. "Look at me."

She still didn't see what he meant, and couldn't quite read his expression. "What—I don't quite—"

"There. Do you see?"

Chise sighed, stroking her hand down his long face. "I don't, I'm sorry. I just see you."

Elias nodded slightly, and stood again, twitching his robe back into place. "My face doesn't change expression," he said, looking off into the distance, somewhere over her head. "How do you read it?"

"Well, I mean, I just look at your eyes, at your body language. Your pupils are very expressive, did you know that?" She smiled up at him, but instead of smiling in return, he turned away, flipping the veil back over his face and continuing up the hill.

"Perhaps that's why you're the only one who can."

He had quickened his pace; Chise had to jog to catch up. "Wait—What—I don't—don't understand."

He paused again, and rested his hand on her head as she stood by his side. "No, you can't, can you?" He sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. "When you look at me, you look at me," he said finally. "You look me right in the eyes. No one else does. In all the years I've walked this earth, no one else has ever looked right at me. Not even Lindel. Only you."

He looked down to her, caressing her cheek. "Only you. I stood before you, and you looked at me. Right at me."

"So... when you say the veil hides your eyes... It's not to try and seem less scary, or to pretend you're just a human." She looked at the red cloth (and how did he even see through it?), her eyes welling with sympathy. "It's so they can't meet your eyes. So when they don't..."

"So when they don't, I can pretend it's only because they can't. Yes." He straightened, glancing away, the lines of his shoulders hinting at embarrassment. "Sometimes I just don't have the patience for it. Or the energy."

Chise took his hand, squeezing it in commiseration. "How long have you been wearing it for?"

"Since I left Lindel, and met other humans. The other mages were often courteous; but not one of them ever actually looked me in the eye. Even Simon doesn't. Not quite. Angelica does try sometimes, though, I suppose."

"That's..." Unutterably sad. Poor Elias. "I'm really sorry, Elias."

"'Sorry'? Why are you sorry? You look at me." Bending, he scooped her into his arms. "Just don't stop, please." Turning, he headed for home.

"All these long, long years I've spend in this earth. And yet in all that time, you were the only one who always looked to me."

"I've lived so long in this world. But in all that time... The only one who has ever looked only at me... Has been you."

-Elias Ainsworth, Chapter 38 (Episode 21)