Why Felix Is Not Allowed Near His Cape

by iFellOffMars

After there was Why Aro Is Not Allowed Near The Blender and Why Jane Is Not Allowed Near The Knives there was a Felix and his cape.

Continuation of my Why Aro Is Not Allowed Near The Blender and Why Jane Is Not Allowed Near The Knives

Ten Reasons Why Felix Isn't Allowed Near His Cape

1. He cannot wear it and pretend to be "Vampire Man"

2. No matter how much he wants it, he will never be a good super hero.

3. The only reason he wants the cape is so people will stop telling him he looks like an evil Emmett.

4. It does not look cool.

5. Even vampires can trip and fall on a piece of unfashionable clothing.

6. He can't pretend to be a pro wrestler either.

7. It does not help him blend in with his surroundings.

8. He cannot kidnap children and hide them in his cape.

9. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU FELIX, CAPES ARE NOT USED TO WIPE UP THAT DEAD GIRL'S BLOOD!

10. He cannot hand it over to Aro for a lovely game of dress up.