Summary: Setting 5 of 7 (8, but 8 is dehydration) of the Degun's uses. When Megamind panics at the museum, he shoots the curator with a different setting. Setting: Decoupage. Based on a writing prompt from tumblr.
Story type: alternate universe; Megamind will be OOC towards the end
Characters: Bernard, Megamind, Roxanne
Decoupage: The art of decorating an object by gluing colored paper cutouts onto it in combination with special paint effects [...] and other decorative elements
Megamind was flipping through the settings of his de-gun, looking for the Dehydration setting. Costume? if he wasn't so panicked right now due to Roxanne nearby he'd be tempted to use the Destroy setting.
He found the setting, at least he thought he did, and pulled the trigger. A gold beam came from the barrel, hitting the man between the eyes. He collapsed against the cart, that wasn't supposed to happen. He was about to ask if he was alright, when-
"Thanks for the few Bernard- oh my god!" It was Roxanne, who was looking at Megamind and Bernard- who was still leaning on the cart. She moved over to the man, "Bernard", and moved him off of the cart.
"We can speak later- for now we have to go because the museum is going to explode!" Megamind cried over the weak groans of the man.
Roxanne looked at Megamind, who was wearing his pajamas with his degun in one hand and a serious expression on his face. He was serious.
"How much time do we have?" Roxanne asked, dragging Bernard around the cart. "Help me with him."
Megamind grabbed the man's other arm. "Two minutes." He said, looking at his watch. He whistled and brain bots flew up to them. "Get us down from here, my lovelies. Hurry!"
The bots surrounded them, grabbing the two humans and alien before flying down and away from the museum. When they touched down, Megamind shoved the two humans down and covered them with his own body as the museum explded behind them.
Megamind looked down at the other two as he got off of them. He slowly stood up and turned to look at the shambles that was once the museum. He smiled as the bots surrounded him, bowging and awaiting orders.
"That was excellent my lovelies! Now, go help your brother and sister bots home- no bot left behind after all. Daddy will be along shortly." Megamind instructed the bots before he turned to Roxanne and the man. "Are you alright? Is there anything I can do to help?"
Roxanne looked up at Megamind with anger as her hands were on Bernard. "I think you've done enough. Not only did you blow up his place of work, you shot him!"
"I blew up the museum because it reminded me of Metro Man and all of the battles we waged against one another! I couldnt bare being so mel-an-colly!" Megamind snapped.
"Megamind is NOT the sentamental type.." came the weak voice of Bernard as he slowly up.
There were paper cutouts of pink and gold hearts on his clothes, glitter and glitter-glue was splattered all over him. Fluffy, colorful feathers were all over his hair and there were some flowers and twigs in his hair mixed with streamers and it was arranged in a crown.
He looked down at himself and groaned weakly in annoyance. "Great.." He looked at the museum and groaned again. "This is perfect!"
He turned to Megamind. "You... Your.."
His legs collapsed out from under him, apparently he was either really shocked to find out that Megamind really was Megamind or the excitement from the museum and what happened to him was too much that he just had to pass out. Either way..
"What do we do?" Megamind looked at Roxanne.
"What do you mean 'we'?" Roxanne pulled Bernard's arm over her shoulders. "It's your fault he's in this condition! Look at him!"
"I feel bad about this, alright!" He gestured to the museum. "We- we could take him back to Evil Lair until he's stable." Megamind suggested. "Please, Roxanne.. Let me help him. Please.." his green eyes were remorseful, his lips were in a gentle pout of worry and his brows were furrowed in concern.
Roxanne nodded, giving in. "Well take him back to his apartment so he'll think this was all a bad dream." Soon they made it to his apartment building, taking him up the stairs and into his apartment where they removed his jacket and sweater, revealing a bare chest. They pulled the twigs, flowers and heart cutouts from his hair.
Bernard woke up the next morning lacking a large amount of decorative items in his hair and on his body, dressed in only his pants. "Uh.." he groaned. "This has been the worst day of my life.."