Notes: In this story, the Metacrisis Doctor and Rose continue to do domestic, work for Torchwood and travel in the TARDIS. It's a sort of Doctor and Rose meet Indiana Jones and Lara Croft. Please let me know if you enjoy it.

Chapter 1

New York, January 2016 (Pete's World Calendar).

A black, shadowy figure descended head first from the ceiling like a spider on a line of web silk. Halfway to the floor, the figure stopped and reached into a pouch on their utility belt.

A small aerosol sprayed a fine mist downwards which caused the previously invisible laser beams to scintillate in the darkened hall of the American Museum of Natural History in New York.

The lasers criss-crossed above and around the display case that housed the Teotihuacan Sapphire, a Mesoamerican pyramidal gemstone of exceptional quality. It was four inches across on each side with a one inch bevelled recess around the base.

The suspended figure lowered a metre tall pole through the beams until it stood on its round base on the floor. A number of jointed, spider like arms carefully unfolded and started to place prisms in the path of the beams until an area above the glass case was cleared.

The human spider continued its descent until it was hovering above its prize. Even in the dim light of midnight, the iridescent blue sapphire seemed to glow with an internal light all of its own.

A circular suction cup was placed on top of the case and a diamond cutting tool ran around the edge of the cup until there was a faint 'click' as a hole was cut in the top of the case.

This was put to one side and a black box with four legs was attached to the edge of the hole with a clamp. The four legs had elongated feet that made it look like a miniature fork lift truck.

The two outer legs went either side of the sapphire, while the inner two eased themselves underneath it. The pressure sensitive alarm pad that the gem sat on was depressed gently by the outer forks as the inner forks lifted. Sensitive pressure gauges in the black box compensated for the weight of the sapphire and the downward pressure of the outer forks.

The Teotihuacan Sapphire was slowly raised to the opening in the showcase and gloved hands gently took the gemstone and placed it in a black cloth bag which was then attached to the utility belt.

The black, shadowy figure ascended back to ceiling and into the arms of the welcoming darkness.

Paris, February 2016 (Pete's World Calendar).

In the Museum National d'Histoire Naturelle, on Rue Cuvier, a replay of events that occurred in New York a month earlier were underway. A black, shadowy figure once again descended from the ceiling, deployed prisms, used a suction cutting tool and a small fork lift device to remove the Cheops Ruby from the safety of its display case.

The ruby was a magnificent blood red gemstone cut to the same design as the Teotihuacan Sapphire. In fact it had long been speculated by archeologists and jewellers alike that they may have been cut by the same ancient craftsman.

Modern examination of the gemstones had found that they were 99.9% exact in every dimension. Add to that the fact that they were the largest and least flawed examples of their kind, it was hardly surprising that all sorts of myths and alien conspiracies had grown around them.

These conspiracies were further fuelled by the fact that in 2001, The Prang Emerald was auctioned off at Christie's of London for £1.7 million to an anonymous Far East buyer.

This emerald was also the largest and least flawed of its kind, and yes, you've guessed it, it was the same size and shape as the other two gems. Although this couldn't be absolutely confirmed, as it had not undergone any scientific scrutiny before it was sold.

A tropical island, 196 light years from Earth, April 2016 (Pete's World Calendar).

Rose lay face down on the sun lounger, sunning her naked back under the large orange sun. They were on annual leave from Torchwood, and were spending it on the deserted second planet of Beta Pegasi, which they had decided to call Paradise.

The TARDIS had sprayed them all with a factor 30 sun block that would be effective for the duration of their stay. Her husband had donned a loincloth and the papoose, taking their son off to explore the jungle that adjoined the white sands of the beach. She sighed contentedly as she listened to the waves lapping gently on the shore.

'This IS paradise', she thought to herself as she felt the lightest of warm breezes caress her skin. The three of them were the only sentient life forms on the planet, and this island had no dangerous predators.

In his exploring, John had found that the top predator was something that looked like a tabby cat with a monkeys arms, legs and tail. They were inquisitive and friendly, but weren't brave enough to venture into the tree house.

The planet and the luxury tree house had been a birthday surprise for her, as John had shipped in timber, decking and materials from a DIY store on Earth and spent a week building it. When the TARDIS took him home, he had only been gone for an hour.

This was their secret hideaway where they could relax and get away from it all. They had hardly worn any clothes since they had arrived, except for a leather belt that Rose wore to clip her smartphone on to for emergencies. If they were exploring, they would wear animal skin loincloths to protect sensitive bits of their anatomy.

Rose reached out with her mind to see what John and EJ were doing. She could hear her son's internal babble as he sat in the papoose on John's back. He couldn't talk yet and his thoughts were more impressions and images rather than speech.

["Cat monkeys funny."] That was his name for the apex predators on the island. ["Daddy laughing…. Need to pee…. That's better…. Hee hee, Daddy said a naughty word."] Rose was giggling at his innocent thoughts.

["Sounds like someone needs a shower,"] Rose thought to John with a smile.

["Oh, hi Sweetheart. Felt that did you?"] John had a trickle of pee running down his spine. ["He nearly got my hair with that one,"] he laughed. ["I'm nearpool now."]

["I'll meet you there, I need to wash my hair before we leave."] Rose climbed off the lounger and grabbed her belt. She fastened it loosely around her waist so that it hung on her hips, before heading along the grassy path through the trees.

She came upon the clearing where a rocky pool was surrounded by jungle, and a small waterfall gently poured a sheet of water off a ledge into the crystal clear water. She saw John in the pool holding EJ, who was splashing the water with his hands. John had his back to her which gave her an idea.

She took off her belt and hung it on the branch of a tree and quietly slipped into the water, it was deliciously cold, her skin puckered slightly with goose bumps.

She closed her mind with a grin, took a deep breath and disappeared below the surface. She pulled herself down with a single breast stroke and then gracefully waggled her body like a dolphin, hugging the bottom of the pool.

She could see John ahead of her, standing on the smooth boulders of the pool bottom. He had taken off his loincloth and papoose and left them at the poolside. She rolled onto her back and eased forward until her head was between his ankles.

Being careful not to make contact, she blew some air out of her mouth and watched the bubbles race for the surface and tickle his 'undercarriage'. She opened her mind and saw him look down. Even through the water and the bubbles, she could see the enormous grin on his face.

She eased herself between his ankles and slid up his body, breaking the surface with a gasping laugh and meeting his waiting lips with hers. EJ squealed with delight at seeing his mother suddenly appeared from the water.

"You Tarzan, me Jane," she said with a laugh as they finished the kiss.

"You, little minx," he laughed. "Here, have Boy and turn around, I'll wash your hair." He had collected a couple of broad, round leaves on his way to the pool and left them floating nearby.

He grabbed one of the leaves and squeezed the sap out of the thick stem into his hand. When he rubbed his hands together, it formed a scented lather that he rubbed into her scalp and hair.

"Mmmm, that feels SO good," she said. The apple-cinnamon-mint scent filled her nostrils, and would always remind her of this pool and this intimate moment. When John had finished she turned to face him and handed him EJ.

"Here, now it's my turn." John held his son and Rose swam around him, grabbing the other floating leaf. John was taller than Rose, and she couldn't stand on the bottom of the pool and wash his hair. She wrapped her legs around his waist to stay above the water.

She lathered the sap and rubbed it into his sticky up hair, making him groan with pleasure. EJ continued to chuckle and splash the water. Rose reached around John and rubbed the sap into her son's sticky up hair as well.

"Time to rinse," she said, and John waded over to the waterfall, carrying EJ in his arms and Rose riding piggyback.

"EJ," Rose sang. "Water on your head." She sent him the mental image of water pouring over his head, and laughed as he screwed his face up in anticipation.

The cool water gently drummed down on them as John walked through the cascade and into the small cave behind. Dappled sunlight danced over the wet stone walls, giving it the feel of a fairy grotto.

"Oh I love it here John. Thank you for finding our special hideaway." She kissed his neck.

"I love it here too, and you are very welcome." He turned around and walked back through the curtain of water into the sunshine. He continued to wade to the shallows and Rose climbed off him to stand on the bottom.

Stepping out of the water, John put his loincloth in the papoose and slung it over one shoulder while carrying EJ in his other arm. Rose grabbed her belt and slung that over her shoulder. Hand in hand they strolled back to the tree house.

They had a barbecued lunch on the beach before packing up and getting dressed. John took the cases and carried them down the steps to put in the TARDIS that was parked underneath the house. Rose sat on the balcony with EJ, taking in the view before they had to leave and returned to 'real life'.

Back on her old Earth, she thought it was a bit flash that people like Richard Branson had their own tropical islands, but John had given her not just an island, but a whole planet. He had registered his wish to be custodian of the planet with the Shadow Proclamation, and they had granted him permission.

This meant that although they didn't own the planet, they were the caretakers and had the responsibility for overseeing the natural evolution of life here. They could visit as often as they liked and indeed would be expected to visit at least once every year.

That would not be a problem.

London, July 2016 (Pete's World Calendar).

"... Happy birthday dear Eye-ulf…. Happy birthday to you." It was Friday 15th July, and young EJ smiled and chuckled as he tried to clap with the assembled family and friends, as they cheered and applauded.

Rose crouched down by the side of him and blew out the single candle on his 'spaceship' cake, which was on the table of his high chair.

"Cake everyone?" she said as she took the cake through to the kitchen to cut it and put the slices onto plates.

"Can I have the rocket engine?" Tony asked. "John says that a moon rocket can generate nearly 600,000 foot pounds per second of thrust," the five year old told them.

"Did he now?" Jackie said with raised eyebrows.

"Yes. It's so it can reach it's escape velocity," he said proudly.

"Which is?" John asked with a grin.

"11.2 kilometres a second. That's 25,000 miles an hour Daddy."

Pete had a proud smile on his face. 'That's my boy', he thought to himself.

"Ooh, he's bright," Melissa, their next door neighbour said. Anthony and Melissa had a two year old daughter called Abby, who had been invited to EJ's first birthday.

Jackie smiled and ruffled Tony's hair. "He's really sharp this one."

Rose came through to the sitting room with the cake and everyone sat down to eat. Rose used a plastic baby spoon to feed the cake to her son, who was determined to take the spoon and feed himself, making as much mess as possible.

Everyone was laughing at the birthday boy's antics and chatting amicably, when the muted TV showed a report of a volcano blowing its top.

"That's another one this year," Pete said.

"Where was it this time?" 'Uncle' Jack asked.

"Mount Galunggung in West Java, Indonesia," Donna-the-house informed them.

"Is this anything to be worried about John?" Rose asked her husband.

John smiled at her. "Volcano clusters are a statistical probability now and again. Once they've all released their pressure, it'll quiet down again for a few hundred years."

"Oi you Torchwood lot," Jackie chided. "Don't you ever stop lookin' for trouble? This is a birthday party. Donna, have you got any 'Space Patrol' for the young'ns?"

Tony and Abby cheered as a 3D animated children's space adventure appeared on the TV and Donna turned the volume up. EJ smiled and clapped his hands when he saw it. He knew these characters, as Tony had played with his action figures with him.

"Oh brilliant," John said. "I love this show."

Melissa leaned towards Rose. "Is he serious?" she asked quietly.

Rose rolled her eyes and laughed. "Unfortunately, he is."

Rose took EJ out of his high chair and put him on his play mat with his new activity toys. She smiled as he started picking them up and tasting them, just like his father would.

Something else that reminded her of John, was the way he would examine the toy as if trying to work out how he could open it and find out how it worked.

"I swear that if we'd have got him a sonic screwdriver as a present, he'd have had this lot in pieces by now," she laughed.

Melissa laughed politely with everyone else. She hadn't got a clue what a sonic screwdriver was, but felt sure it was something that Rose's scientist husband would use.

John went into the kitchen to get the drinks, bringing back a bottle of wine, cans of beer, some glasses, a bottle of Vitex for Tony and Abby, and a baby bottle of juice for EJ.

"So Melissa, how long have ya lived next door then," Jackie asked.

"Just three years now."

"And what do you and your husband do then?" Jack asked her.

"I'm an interior designer and Ant's a loss adjuster for an insurance company," she told them, and the conversation continued as they drank and ate nibbles.

John was on the floor, playing with EJ and all his new toys, along with Tony and Abby, while Jack regaled everyone with tales of his adventures (which usually ended up with him being naked). Melissa had never met anyone like Jack before and wasn't sure if he was being serious or not.

Eventually it got to the time when all small children should be in bed, and the guests said their thanks and goodbyes. Rose changed EJ's nappy and put him into a baby grow. She kissed him goodnight and John took him up to the nursery to put him down for the night.

When he came back down, they cuddled up on the sofa for the rest of the evening, finishing the wine and the beer before heading up to bed. Tomorrow they would be going away for the weekend, to Paradise.