SMALL, BUT DEADLY
"As of today, there is a new member of the G. I. Joe team," Duke's voice rang out. The other G. I. Joes stood straight, their facial expressions differing.
"He is the greatest ninja in the world today. Code name: Snake Eyes."
Duke turned and faced the door expectantly, waiting for the ninja to answer the cue.
The G. I. Joes watched, some looking confused, some curious.
Suddenly - tic tic tic tic tic!
"Is that… tiny feet?" asked Cover Girl in disbelief.
"What in the sam hill…?" Heavy Duty peered at the door. The door shook slightly, then once again, harder.
"What is this?" asked Beach Head, leaning forward.
Suddenly a small voice came from the other side of the door. "Let me in! HEY! Let me in!"
Everyone was too astonished to move. As if annoyed at the delay, a tiny blade appeared sliding through the side of the door.
BOoOoOM!
Mouths fell open as the ninja walked in on top of the door. His muscular figure was dressed in complete black, and a katana was held in his left hand.
"IS THIS A JOKE?" cried Breaker, his eyes the size of two pizzas.
The great Snake Eyes was all of one foot six inches high.
"Oh, no," moaned Long Range, "don't tell me. The government has been doing genetic experiments again."
"Genetic experiments?" squeaked Snake Eyes. "I'll have you know that I am the greatest ninja in the WORLD!"
"You mean the greatest ninja in Toyland," Heavy Duty retorted.
Under his breath Breaker sang softly "Ding dong, the wicked witch is dead…"
The beautiful redhead Scarlett standing next to him covered her mouth politely, trying not to laugh.
Snake Eyes whipped around and stalked over to Breaker, who sang louder as the ninja approached.
"Which old witch? The wicked witch, ding-dong- OW!"
Breaker bent over and clutched his leg as the tiny figure kicked him a good one in the shin.
"That HURT!"
"Good!" Snake Eyes replied.
Duke, startled out of his daze, said hastily "Now, let's all welcome Snake Eyes."
"With what? A handshake? We'd squish him," Beach Head huffed.
"Are there any questions?" asked Duke quickly.
"I have one," said Cover Girl, raising her hand.
"Yes?" asked Duke, relieved.
"Actually, it's for Snake Eyes," she said. Duke glanced worriedly at the tiny ninja.
"Okay," he said aloud, then mouthed 'don't say anything that will hurt his feelings!'
'Of course not,' Cover Girl mouthed back. Then she looked down at Snake Eyes.
"Well?" he asked, tapping his foot.
"I know you're talented and skilled in defense techniques and all that, but…"
"But what?" the ninja demanded.
"But how do you keep from getting stepped on?" Cover Girl finished with a straight face.
Heavy Duty roared with laughter despite Scarlett's efforts to shush him.
It took an elbow in the ribs to quiet him.
"I get rid of people like you," Snake Eyes replied sourly.
"That's all I wanted to know," Cover Girl answered politely, stepping back into the line.
"Hum, er, is… ahah, everyone done? No more questions?"
"None, except does he have a return policy?" asked Beach Head.
"He looks like an ACTION FIGURE!" said Long Range, outraged.
"Yeah! This has gotta be somebody's idea of a sick joke," shouted another.
"QUIET! EVERYONE! CALM DOWN!" roared Duke. "You WILL welcome Snake Eyes with COURTOSY and you WILL do it GLADLY!"
Fake smiles immediately plastered everyone's faces.
"Welcome to the team, Snakes," they chorused. But one thought ran through all their heads.
…and may he drown in a coffee cup.