I walked into Pulse, this club I go to regularly. Friday nights are always packed with people, like body to body full. It was hot in here and people were wearing little clothes to barely anything at all. My outfit was suit for this, dressed in a little black dress with some red stiletto heels. I was making my way to the bar when I saw him. The man I went on one date with then completely blew off. It wasn't that I didn't like him or that he wasn't my type, I mean he is attractive and totally my type but I didn't want it to happen again. Trying to ignore the stares and nasty comments I continued walking. Making it to the bar I took a couple shots. Before I knew it I was grinding against him, the one and only Daryl Dixon. He didn't seem to care that I never called. After a few hours I was done, I didn't want to hurt him anymore than I probably already did. I tend to lead guys on but don't stick around. I don't mean to but that's just how it happens.
Walking out of the club he's following close behind. "Beth!" Not turning around I kept my steady pace. Getting in my car I drove home. Tears fell from my eyes as thoughts ran through my mind. Why was I so afraid to fall for him? I'm such a fuck up and don't deserve him. I would just end up hurt, right? I mean that's what they all do, they hurt me. They sleep with me then are done with me and I'm sick of bein that girl. Best to just not fall in love at all. I wasn't gonna let him in and destroy me, not this time. I pulled into my driveway and wiped the tears away. I mean how pathetic am I for crying. He didn't mean a thing to me, or that's what I kept telling myself. I slammed my car door shut and walked to my door unlocking it and heading straight to my room. I stripped off my short dress and heels. I put on some short shorts and a baggy t-shirt. Crawling into my bed wanting to forget the world. I was just about asleep when there was banging on my door. Sluggishly getting out of bed I made my way down the stairs. Unlocking my door as a yawn escaped my mouth. There he stood, Daryl.
"Daryl, what are you doing here?" I grumbled.
"Look, I don't know what I did to make you hate me but I want you. I want you in my arms when I fall asleep. I want to wake up with you next to me. You're different and I need you. Your are everything that I want in a girl. Beth, will you please just give me a chance? To show you we can make this work" He was pleading.
Letting out a breath. "Look you did nothing wrong but I don't want to be with you, hence the not calling you. I get you want me but I can't, okay? I can't do whatever we have going on anymore. You were just there when I needed someone to fuck. You mean nothing to me. So just go home Daryl. " The words hurt to say as they left my mouth.
The look on his face brought tears to my eyes. Closing the door, I leaned against the cool door. It was all coming back. The day I left him. Left behind the life we had together. We were so happy together that was until I got pregnant. After our daughter was born I couldn't stay. My family hated me and wanted nothing to do with me. When I was pregnant they all said some horrible things to me so when Gracelynn was born I left. We decided to give her up for adoption because we thought it was for the best. I acted as though Daryl was just some guy I met but that's not true. I love him and I regret everything I have ever done to him. There was no way I can be with him, knowing all I have done. This was it, I wasn't going to hurt him again, not ever. Closing my eyes the last tear fell as I clenched my stomach. I was going to go away forever. Somewhere where he couldn't follow me.
I wrote him a note saying that I was leaving again, running away. It was easier to run than face my fears. The note said Look Daryl, I am so sorry for everything. I wish I could go back and change it all. As many times as I apologize I can't forgive myself. I'm leaving and I just ask one thing. Don't come lookin for me. You will just get hurt and that's the last thing I want to do to you. I know me leavin will hurt but you will cope. I'm just a girl nothing important. I can't be with you knowing I gave our daughter up. I know you didn't want to and I made you. I am so so so sorry."