I wrote this as an extra chapter for my story Secret Weapon. I was wondering what would have happened between Picard and Crusher being beamed back to the ship at the end of chapter eight, and the epilogue, so I decided to explore it a little.
Secret Weapon Missing Chapter 9
Beverley woke and tried to sit up, only to be hit by a wave a pain and stiffness. She sucked in a deep breath, only to be met with more pain.
"Woah, woah!" Nurse Alyssa Ogawa called across the room. "Take it easy there, Doctor." She rushed over to Beverley's side and put her hand on her boss' arm. "The bone knitter still needs a couple of hours to finish its job."
Bev reached down to find the two nodes attached to her skin on each side of her rib cage. She consciously tried to slow her breathing as she took in her situation. "How bad?" she asked cautiously.
Alyssa gently squeezed the doctor's arm. "Pretty bad, Doc." She tapped a few controls off to the side as she spoke, "3 full fractures across the right side of your ribs, and another 6 micro fractures on the left side. A small amount of internal bleeding where one of your fractures grazed the muscle wall, and your cheek bone had a hairline fracture as well. We've repaired all the damage. Just waiting for this guy to finish his job and you can retire to some proper bedrest in your quarters." She gestured to the bone knitter humming away.
Beverley took the information in, feeling supremely grateful that Worf and his team had appeared when they did. I couldn't have survived another blow. She realized with the kind of gratitude and humility that only a near-death experience can bring.
"I will inform the bridge that you are awake," Alyssa continued as she moved back to her previous patient, "I know a couple of people who will be happy to hear you are coming around."
The bridge thought Beverley with sudden clarity. She remembered the captain, who had come into sickbay with her. She began looking around for him, careful not to disturb her injuries.
Distantly, Beverley heard Alyssa talking with Commander Riker over the comm system as her brow creased in confusion. Jean Luc isn't here, and he's not on the bridge…
"The Captain has been sent to his quarters to rest," Ogawa explained, noticing the confused look on the doctor's face, "The Cardassain crew is in the brig until we reach the Starbase in about 20 minutes or so."
Beverley nodded. She was glad to hear the captain's progress was going so well that they had released him to his quarters already. She also felt a slight shiver at the notion that Madred and his followers were still on board the Enterprise. She would be happy when he was dropped off at the Starbase and they could all gain some distance from the sinister Gul…likely former Gul now…Beverley thought. She hoped to find out that Madred was transferred from the federation's custody right into a jail on Cardassia. His need to inflict pain on others was dangerous. Bev thought about how he had…
Enough, Bev, it's in the past Beverley chastised herself. It wouldn't help to be thinking about Madred or anything to do with him. I will save that stuff for Deanna to wade through.
"Beverley!" a voice called across sickbay. Bev turned as much as she comfortably could to see Deanna herself entering the room and coming to her side. Be careful what you wish for Doc. She grumbled to herself.
"I'm so glad to see you awake, you are looking so much better!" Deanna smiled, "How are you feeling?"
"Stiff, sore…relieved to be home again." Beverley replied, squeezing Deanna's hand.
"I'm sure. You've had quite the week Beverley. I missed you very much." Deanna replied, squeezing her hand right back.
Deanna paused.
Here it comes, thought Beverley.
"You know," Troi began, "I'm not the only one who missed you around here…"
"-stop right there Dee. I know where you're going with this, and I can only say…not yet." Beverley sighed. "I know we have lots to talk about and I promise I will make an appointment as soon as I am back to normal. "
Deanna looked smug, and simply smiled and nodded. She hesitated a moment, then took Beverley's hand and whispered, "I know you and the captain went through a lot over the last few days. If you want anything to come of that Beverley, you will have to show him how to lower the protective barrier he keeps around his heart. He truly doesn't remember how." She rose just as Riker entered sickbay, rushing to her side.
"Beverley, I'm sorry. I came as soon as I could after I found out you were awake." He rested his hand on her fore arm, "How are you doing, nurse Ogawa tells me you had quite the injury to your ribs…"
Beverley smiled, "it was nothing my team couldn't handle." She patted the bone knitters that worked on her middle. "I will be back into fighting shape in no time."
This time it was Riker's turn to smile. "I bet you will be in fighting shape. Worf has been bragging about your Mok'bara skills on display on the planet's surface."
Beverleys grin stayed in place but it became tighter at the mention of the battle she had had to undergo. Her heart felt tight and her hands and shoulders grew tense. I have a lot more healing to do than just these ribs.
"Anyways, I should get back up to the bridge. It's nice to have you back Bev….I…uh…well, we all missed you a lot." Will gave Beverley a gentle pat on the shoulder, before turning to leave.
Home. Beverley had truly felt homesick over the past week. She missed her cabin, and her work. She missed her friends and her patients. She missed her son, and she missed…him. She missed Jean Luc, even while she was so mad at him. He had revealed to her over the past week his feelings for her, and in turn, he had forced Beverley to reveal her own feelings to herself. I love him. I am in love with him. How long have I loved him? How long has he loved me? What does this all mean now?
What the hell am I going to do when I see him and how am I ever going to stop him from pushing me away?
Beverley didn't know, but for the first time in a long time, she had the courage to find out. She wanted to see what would happen, she wanted to see Jean Luc Picard and find out what he wanted to do next.
She had only now to wait. Two hours until they send me to my quarters. Another 24 hours before I will be off of bedrest…Soon…
--page break--
Jean Luc Picard sat in his quarters with nothing but time. He had been released to his quarters for rest. He had a minor concussion, which had been repaired in sickbay; a broken wrist, also repaired; and for the second time this year, Picard had had to undergo a minor surgery to remove a Cardassian pain device from his neck.
His muscles still ached from the spasms of the pain device, and, even though his head wound had healed completely, Jean Luc had a headache.
To make it all worse, he felt so exposed and embarrassed. His feelings had been laid bare for all to see. He had sworn to himself that Beverley would never find out about his feelings, and now she, and the rest of his crew, had. He had spent so long thinking his feelings were wrong, and an act if betrayal. What can I possibly think now? How can I hide again?
Beverley had told Madred that she felt like the two of them were stronger together than they were apart. It was certainly true when he faced Madred the second time with Beverley there…but was she just saying that to sound confident in front of the Cardassians? Don't get your hopes up Picard.
Beverley had been just starting her treatment on her ribs when he left sickbay, so he knew she would still be there for a few more hours. He couldn't possibly visit her there without facing the wrath of the medical team and perhaps even Beverley herself. He had to at least look like he was obeying his bedrest orders.
Jean Luc glanced over at his desk, and the computer sitting on it. The past week had put him quite behind on some work... "Computer" he called out, "play the latest status reports from each department, starting with Engineering."
"Voice commands not recognized." the computer chirped back.
"Computer" Picard continued, a little more aggravated this time, "Recognize voice commands Captain Jean Luc Picard."
"Captain Jean Luc Picard is currently on medical leave and is therefore not granted access to executive voice commands."
"Computer," Picard grumbled, "Who has authorized this medical leave?"
"Medical leave initiated by Dr. Selar and approved by Commander William Riker."
Picard turned away from the computer on his desk. I guess work will not be my refuge today.
Then there was the matter of a certain Gul and his crew sitting in his brig for about the next ten minutes while the Enterprise docked at the Starbase. He had been so afraid when Madred had captured him again….but as was the case in the past, in this encounter he found Madred to be a pitiable man. The Cardassian truly believed that if he had been able to capture Picard and the doctor that he could have been rewarded in Cardassia. Picard had to admit the Cardassian Union did not seem to be as strong as it used to be but…there was no way any intelligent government would support his law-breaking and violent means. Madred was defeated again, in front of his daughter, again, and Picard hoped to never hear the man's name again. No Jean Luc would not be breaking his medical orders for the likes of the Cardassian crew sitting 4 decks away. They could slip away into the night, and Picard could think of no better ending to the encounter.
So…what now? He had to see Beverley. He had to know what she was thinking and feeling about all of this. He has loved her for so long, and if he had just been open with her in the first place she would not be sitting in sick bay right now. He had tried to hide his feelings, but maybe that was no longer an option. Maybe it was time for something more….
--page break--
It was well past dinnertime when Beverley was released to her quarters from sickbay. Not that I'm hungry anyways. She was surprisingly tired considering she had spent the past 24 hours in bed, and she was looking forward to replicating a nice cup of tea and jumping right back under the covers. She wandered straight through the living room and bedroom into her bathroom, where she wiped her face with a wet towel and brushed her teeth. Feeling more human, she turned and headed for the replicator.
…and stopped dead in her tracks to see Jean Luc Picard sitting on her sofa. He sat cross legged and he tensely held his hand together in his lap. He seemed to move in slow motion as he rose and came towards her in one swift movement. His eyes were full of emotion. Fear and nerves mixed with affection and lightning bolts of attraction. She wanted to reach for him, but held herself back, waiting to see why he was here. What do we do now?
"I couldn't wait to see you." He sounded cautious, but friendly. "I decided that sitting on your couch was close enough to bedrest."
Beverley cracked a sideways smile, "As your physician I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that." She moved forward and placed her hand on his chest. "I was hoping to see you too."
Jean Luc pulled her into a hug. "Beverley," he whispered, "I'm so sorry. I should have told you everything. I should never have left you on Morena. I was trying to hide you away like I hid my feelings. I felt like if I could just get you away from me that it would keep you safe...I could not have been more wrong."
He pulled back as Beverley was shaking her head no. "I don't want you to feel guilty any longer. We were both the victim of a very sick man who was acting out of desperation."
She stepped back and took his hand. "I also don't want you to hide your feelings any longer. We work so well together. When you push me away, I…" She looked down. Show him the way.
"I didn't think I loved you. I thought we were just friends." They let go of each other and lowered onto the couches. "I didn't really think about it until I spoke to you that night over the communicator."
Jean Luc sat patiently, hanging off of every word.
"But you have become more…" she stopped, raking her hair back with her fingertips. "Jean Luc, I don't know how it happened but you have become so much more. You're the first person I see every day and the last person I see at night. You care for me when I'm sick, you are like a father to my son. I tell you my secrets, my fears, and you're the first person I want to talk to when I have good news…"
Jean Luc held her face in his hands and kissed her. She responded immediately, kissing him back, and bringing her hands to rest on his shoulders. She could feel a need for him throughout her body - pulling them together. It feels as though a part of me has been restored. How could I not have seen this?
"…Beverley you are all those things and more. I cannot have enough of you in my life. You are… sunlight and fire. I have loved you for as long as I have known you." Picard rasped, pulling her in to plant brief kisses on her lips, and so tenderly on her cheek and her temple.
How could he ever be ashamed of this. He has so much to give. "Jean Luc, I didn't even realize how much I loved you. I wish…" she trailed off. Feeling regret at time that has been wasted. At love that had been denied.
Jean Luc nodded, agreeing with her wordless feelings. "I should have trusted you. I should have trusted myself. We nearly lost everything." He kissed her hand softly, reverently.
His comments brought her back to the present. She could feel the hard, new skin along Picard's neck where it had been regenerated. She could feel the sore stiffness of her own body from newly-healed bones. They were in no condition to be sitting up and chatting let alone…. expressing newfound feelings.
"Jean Luc," Beverley brought herself back to reality, "we do need rest…"
She hesitated, "would you like to…" hold me; rest in bed with me? Please don't make me ask. I need to learn how to let someone in again too.
Jean Luc rose, understanding her unspoken request. I will never deny you anything, don't you know that? He held her hand, pulling her to him as they moved to the bedroom. They were both still wearing their soft clothing from sickbay so he guided her to lie under the covers. He lowered himself down behind her back, wrapping his hand and arm around her own arms. "Is that all right?" he asked softly.
Beverley adjusted herself so she was resting on her side that had not been so badly injured. She pulled his hand close to her and dropped a soft kiss on his fingertips "Mmmmm" was her only reply.
Jean Luc breathed in the soft floral smell in her hair as he drifted off to sleep. He smiled to himself as his last waking thought washed over him. Tomorrow we will begin the rest of our lives together.