First of all, welcome to my new story, Kiss the Bride. I hope that you all enjoy it, and I would love any feedback that you may have.

The first 3 chapters are part of my entry into the Back2SkoolUNFmett writing competition, and I am very excited to say that I won the Judges Choice Royale prize, for best overall Emmett. Very exciting!

This story is rated M for adult content and lots of bad language.

Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to . I do not own any part of the Twilight Saga.

Kiss the Bride

Chapter 1

EmPOV

I don't know why I said that I would do it. Was it a moment of weakness? Was I drunk? Was someone trying to blackmail me? The fact that I couldn't remember the reason why lead me to believe that yes, I was fucking hammered when I agreed to it. And by now I should know that when I make plans under the influence, nothing good ever comes of it. Suck it up, big man. Time to get this shit started.

Walking out into the lounge room that I shared with my brother Edward, I was hoping to make it out of the front door before he spotted me and made my life hell. I was halfway to the door when I heard his voice call out from the kitchen.

"Hey, Em, why are you dressed as a cop?" Think, man think.

"Are you going to a fancy dress tonight?" Edward was looking at me, waiting for me to respond.

"Um, yeah, Mike's having a party and decided it just had to be fancy dress. You know Mike, any chance to get in his Tarzan costume. If I have to see him in that elephant thong one more time, I'll fucking drive his ass over the border and dump him there. Naked and with no passport so we won't see the fucker anytime soon." Yeah, it was all a lie but I was hoping I could get out of the apartment before he called me on it.

"Cool bro, sounds like fun. Hey, I've still got my Indian costume in there somewhere, the one I wore for Alice's 21st. Let me go get changed and I'll come with, we'll go as part of the Village People." He laughed, thinking he was funny. I probably would have too if I wasn't sweating like a pig and trying to lie to my little brother. Fuck. Not what I was expecting, but that is what I get I guess when I don't plan a little better.

"Uh, no Ed, it's only a small party, you know, just a couple of guys from high school and I'm not even going to stay long," I lied, yet again. Unconvincingly as it turned out.

"Emmett, what the hell is going on? Since when did you become such good friends with Mike, hell, he was in my year at school, not yours. If anyone got invited to his party, it would be me." He looked at me like he could see through every word I said. Time to fess up. Fuck.

"Ok, see here's the thing. And if you tell anyone about this, I will make your goddamn life so miserable you will wish you were quarantined with an infectious disease and not able to see anyone for months. I mean it Edward. Not. A. Word." I can't believe I was going to tell him, I must be fucking insane.

"So, I went to a party with some old college friends a few weeks ago and we all started to play a little Texas Hold'em. Just for fun you know. Combine it with a couple of shots and some hot little co-eds and it was a scorching hot party."

Edward sighed, "Em, when the fuck are you ever going to grow up? You're twenty-five and still partying like we did in high school. You haven't had a girlfriend in like 3 years. Enough already."

"Eddie, this has nothing to do with my partying, well, ok just a little but that is not the point. I haven't had a girlfriend because every chick I meet knows who I am, or who our parents are and are dying to get their little paws on my trust fund. I've had enough of it and I'm sick of being played so I'm just taking a little time off until I meet 'the one'." I've had enough of explaining myself to Edward, so I just want to get it all out there.

"Anyway, so we are playing cards and I am losing big time. My last hand and I had a flush, I just knew that would win it all back but I had nothing left to bet with. So, Demetri is the only other guy left in the betting ring and he agrees that should I lose, I would have to take one of his shifts at work tonight because he can't make it and would lose his job if he cancelled on one more shift. So of course I agreed, I had a fucking flush Eddie. Who knew that the fucker would have a full house? That shit is just not cool." I had hoped to get away with no more questions, but it was not to be.

"And he's a cop. Is that legal, can you even just take a shift in the police force like that?" He looked a little confused, the dipshit.

"Shit no, Ed. He's a stripper. Before you say anything, it is only one client. A hen's night and I just want to get there, do my thing and get the hell out of dodge." The thought of loads of women grabbing at my junk made me shudder a little, I had images of twenty Mrs Copes, drunk and groping. Just don't think about it. One night, you can do it.

"Oh man, this is priceless. You've got to let me come." Uh-uh. No way in hell.

"As much as I would love to have you there to take the piss, it aint gonna happen." I could not think of much worse. I looked up at Edward to see him snapping my picture on his phone.

"So you wouldn't mind me sending this out to a couple of people then, just for kicks?" The smug bastard.

"Ed, you can come, you sit in the corner, you don't say a word and this is never mentioned, ever again. Clear?" I can't believe this was happening.

"Crystal," smirked Edward, the git was loving every bit of this.

At least he stayed quiet for most of the trip to the hotel. The 'hens' were staying at the Four Seasons Seattle, in a junior suite. It was going to be very interesting having to walk through the lobby and up the elevator in my costume, but hey, let em all look. Edward may laugh but I know I look good.

"So Em, have you been practicing your moves, you know, a few pelvic thrusts here, a couple of booty pops there." I'm so regretting bringing him along. Did I really think that he would just shut up and look pretty.

"Edward, we all know that you're just jealous. I can actually pull this off, and with style. Could you? Could you rock this outfit like I could?" At least it shut him up for a little while.

"Whatever." That's it?

"Woah, great rebuttal there Ed. Don't hate." A quick look at him and I realised that he was sulking. That brother of mine needed to learn to just relax and enjoy life. Fuck, I was the one who was about to strip their clothes off for a bunch of screaming chicks, to be manhandled and groped. All he had to do was press the play button for the cd and sit back and watch. Fucking tosser.

We arrived at the hotel in record time, Edward parked the car and we got out to walk up to the hotel.

"What room did you say it was, Em?" I had to pull out my phone to check the room number. Fuck, why are my hands shaking? I'm not goddamn nervous. Ok. Maybe just a little nervous, but still, piece of piss right? I might even meet a cute bridesmaid or two.

Trying to make my voice sound more confident than I felt, I said, "1501. Why do you need to know?"

"Because if you think that I am walking with you looking like that, you are sadly mistaken." He was shaking his head, and starting to turn a little red even as we speak.

"Edward, why would you care? You aren't the one in the fancy dress. So what if someone thinks you're my bitch. I'd say you're pretty fucking lucky, if you ask me." I had to laugh at the look on his face. Priceless. Stuck up git.

The walk of Edward's shame was finally over and we arrived at 1501, hearing music coming from the other side and lots of giggling and shouting.

"Right, here goes nothing. Ladies, here comes Officer Cullen. Hold onto your hair extensions, you're in for a wild ride." Taking a deep breath I knocked on the door and prayed they would be gentle with me.

The door was opened by a beautiful girl, who was probably around Edward's age. She had long dark brown hair and eyes the colour of rich chocolate, so deep and full of emotion that I was starting to think that this party was looking up already.

"Officer Cullen, maam. I'm here to detain a Miss…" I took a look at the piece of paper in my hands, "Rosalie Hale." I heard a small giggle from her, glad that she thought I was funny. At least she knew that I was the hired entertainment, she was quite obviously eyeing me up and she nodded her head at me in approval. Maybe it would be a good night after all.

Walking further into the room, I took a quick glance over my shoulder to see if Edward was following me. I could hardly do the striptease without the music, so I was pleased to see that he was right behind me, even if his eyes were glued to the gorgeous brunette, just as hers were stuck on him. Oh well, guess there goes my chance there. Edward rarely had a reaction like that to women so she must be something special in his eyes.

I put my bag down, took out the handcuffs and attached them to my pants. I had no idea when to actually use them but I thought that I would just go off the cuff, so to speak. Looking at Edward, I gave a nod and he started the warm up music, so that the ladies would all start to gather.

"Now that I have your attention, I am looking for a Ms. Hale. Ms. Rosalie Hale." After much giggling everyone started to gather around, there had to be at least twenty women there. I was hoping that it would be a more intimate affair, a handful at most but I shook the thought and kept thinking. It's just half an hour out of your life. That's all. Let's get this party started and finished and move it the hell on.

I could hear some shrieking coming from the other room. "Bella, what the fuck are you doing? I don't want to go in there just yet. I was just grabbing another drink." Great. Probably a drunk bridezilla with the mouth of a sailor. Let's hope she is a little more controlled around me.

I saw the petite brunette again, who I assumed was the Bella that was being yelled at, and she was dragging someone that I couldn't quite see until she thrust her in front of me.

Holy fuck. And I thought Bella was gorgeous. This girl was absolutely stunning.

"Rosalie Hale?" Please say no. If it is her, she is getting married next weekend and I have just got to get to know her.

She looked up at me with the bluest eyes that I have ever seen, a little flustered and a lot drunk.

"Woah, are you here to arrest me, officer? Have I been a bad girl?" It would have been sexy had she not let out a loud belch at the end of her sentence and then high fived the girl next to her.

Still, there was something about this girl that just drew me in. Like Ed and his little brunette that he couldn't keep his eyes off.

"Yes maam. Very bad. Please hold out your hands, you're coming with me."

"Not yet, but the night is still young." She winked at the Bella girl. I had just met my female twin. Fuck, that was hot.

I was actually enjoying this far too much. Who would have thought?

After I handcuffed her, I led her to a chair that was set up in the middle of the room. I was starting to have doubts that I would even be able to get through this, she had me so muddled.

"Please sit still on the chair, and I will begin your punishment. You can look, but not touch." I really wanted her to touch, but I had to keep this somewhat professional. Well as professional as you could when you were about to strip down to a leopard print thong.

The music started, which kind of surprised me as Ed was paying me zero attention. This was a good thing, the less he saw, the better.

Trying to relax, I listened to the beat and started to sway a little with it, my back to the blushing bride. When she started to clap her hands in time with the music, I started to move a little more, then turning I reached for my cap and flung it to the far corners of the room. The ladies seemed to like that move, hooting and whooping it up.

I raised my eyebrows to Rosalie, who laughed and indicated that I should keep going. Never one to disappoint, I started in on my shirt buttons; taking a step closer to her with each button I opened. When I was right in front of her, I tore my shirt off and it too joined my cap in the corner of the room. This was seriously fun. What can be too bad about having loads of women clap and cheer for you, urging you to take off your clothes? Especially when one of them was my dream, albeit one that was out of my reach.

Before I knew it, the dance was almost complete and I was down to my leopard thong. While it made me cringe a little, the girls were hot for it, and I think I just decided that I was going to wear it again, in the privacy of my own room, of course.

As the song was ending and I had finished rubbing, licking and basically drooling all over Rosalie, I unshackled her and was taken by surprise when I felt her hands on my chest, rubbing up and down my abs, and I was thanking god for sit ups. At that moment I was cursing the fact that she came into my life a week before her wedding day. I wonder what lucky bastard got to spend the rest of his life making this woman happy.

"So who is the lucky groom?" I asked her, trying to divert my mind, and by mind I mean both of them, from the very dirty things that it wanted to do with Rosalie.

"His name is Royce. Royce King."

You've got to be kidding me. I knew Royce, not personally but we have some mutual friends and by all accounts he seems like a vile and repulsive person. He was nasty, we all knew it, but because his parents owned half the town he grew up in, he was treated like royalty. He bragged over conquests, and I had heard stories of his indiscretions only recently, probably about nine months ago. They involved hookers, lots of them and some seriously sick sex games, which I believe not all were willing participants of.

"How long have you been together?" For her sake, I hope it was only a recent relationship and quick engagement.

"Just over two years, we met at a little café not far from here and it all just clicked, you know. Of course I knew who he was, but I didn't think he would give me a second look, but here I am," she said, looking at the ring, or should I way rock, on her finger. Oh, I get it, she likes the fact the she will be Mrs Royce King, the social elite and top rung of society.

And this is why, like I told Edward earlier, that I never tell anyone that I have money. I want someone to want me for me, not my trust fund and it seems that Rosalie, like everyone else, had an agenda.

While I was thinking how disappointed I was, I had not realised how close I had actually moved in towards her. Her face was only inches away from mine and I noticed that her breathing had picked up and she was staring at my lips. Before I could even think twice about my actions, I was kissing her like there was no tomorrow and no one else in the room.

It didn't last long. Just long enough for me know that I never wanted to stop. Long enough to know that I had to know her better and long enough to know that I was in deep shit.

I had always believed in true love and that when you met the right person that you would just know. Like you know that the sun will rise in the morning and the moon at night. Some had called me a hopeless romantic. I'd done the relationship thing when I was younger and ultimately discovered that women were at first interested in my looks and then in the money. I'd done the one night stands and unfulfilling time on the singles scene and seen some pretty nasty behaviour. All of these things though, had not discouraged me or made me believe that I would never find my love, my soul mate.

The thing that discouraged me now was the fact that I had a sneaking suspicion that the person for me, my other half, was none other than Rosalie Hale. Unfortunately she seemed like all the rest, marrying for money, status and a seat on every single charity board in Seattle. But let's not forget the most obvious thing against me, she is marrying Royce fucking King, self dubbed King of Seattle in precisely 7 days time. Nope, could not get much worse.

A/N: So Emmett is a bit of a softy really.

Let me know what you think...