When April walked into the gallery she found Jackson pacing back and forth in front of the window. She glanced quickly at Richard who gave her a sympathetic smile before she headed over to Jackson
"Hey…" she said quietly touching his arm as he turned to face her.
"I hate this guy April! He's bopping over my mother!"
"I know Jackson...I know. Come on let's get out of here for a bit" she suggested gently grabbing his hand and leading him out of the gallery. "Do you want to go to the cafeteria and get some food, or to the daycare and get Harriet or maybe go take a nap in an on call room?"
"I don't want Harriet to see me right now and there's no way I can sleep or eat right now. April ...can we go to the chapel for a little while...just you and me?"
"Yes Jackson, of course we can do that." April spoke gently as she grabbed Jackson's hand and intertwined her fingers with his.
Together they walked hand in hand through the hospital, inside the chapel, slipping into a pew together. No one else was there so they sat quietly together for a few minutes. April prayed quietly to herself with her head rested on Jackson's shoulder. Jackson lost in his own thoughts trying not to fall to pieces, his hand rested on April's thigh rubbing his thumb back and forth across it. After a few minutes April lifted her head and turned herself to Jackson as he started to speak.
"Mom's always been larger than life you know...Laughs harder, yells louder than everyone. She's the life of the party...She always inserted herself into every single aspect of my life, whether I wanted her to or not. Hell whether I knew about it or not."
A small smile graced April's face as she nodded gripping Jackson's hand "That she has. We can both be thankful to her for that. Montana happened because of her meddling. She has always been and will continue to be your biggest support. An incredibly wise and steadfast woman" April agreed.
"Now I can't imagine what a room would even feel like without her in it, taking up all that space" Jackson sputtered as tears started running down his checks. April reached up to wipe away his tears and cupped his face for a moment before she grabbed his hand in hers once again, eyes on him with encouraging support.
"It was different, losing Samuel. That was more like, like my world collapsing around me you know…." Jackson stopped for a moment trying to to catch his breath and control his tears.
"I do know Jackson...I know. You were so strong for both of us during that time. You were the one that helped me see at least a little bit of light...I never told you this but you were the one that made sure I didn't completely collapse when my world collapsed. You made sure a had a tiny bit of light, which was the only way I could leave and go to Jordan. I couldn't give that light back to you. I couldn't handle my world collapsing, I couldn't support you while healing myself. You needed me and I wasn't there and I am so so sorry for that…." April expressed as tears started to fall down her own cheeks. She turned her body to be sideways on the pew so she could wrap her arms around Jackson.
Jackson leaned into April, resting his head in the space between her chin and shoulder "And this I just….I feel like, a scared little kid." he finished before allowing himself to finally fully feel his feelings. Sobs poured out of him while his shoulders shook up and down in April's arms. "I don't like it...I don't like it" Jackson repeated while April rubbed his head and reassured "Shhhh, I know, I'm right here."
After they sat quietly for a while Jackson lifted his head off April. "Come here" he said grabbing her hand and leading her up to the candles at the front of the chapel. He lit a candle and lit two of the prayer candles. "One for mom and one for Samuel" he said simply and handed the main candle to April.
"One for Catherine and one for our incredible baby boy" she agreed lighting two candles before she stepped back and grabbed Jackson's hand in hers, both of them in silent prayer, individually but together.
As they turned to head out of the chapel Jackson stopped and turned himself towards April grabbing her arms and rubbing his hands up and down them slowly. "Thank you for opening up to me about what you were going through with Samuel. For acknowledging the bad and ugly of the situation….April Kepner, I love you. For giving me our precious baby boy and beautiful baby girl. For constantly helping me to see things in a new light. For changing me in ways I can't even explain if I'm honest. I have loved you from the moment we became more than friends. Even when we couldn't figure out how to come through darkness together...I loved you so much during those dark times it hurt. I fell in love with you all over again in Montana...I have never stopped. We are meant to be April. Please come home and be with me and your daughter. We have work to do so please come home. I want to work on us."
"Jackson Avery...I would love nothing more. We have so much work to do but I believe we can do it. I have always believed in you...I have always loved you. I have prayed to God to love you and protect you and to lead you to a life full of love and peace even if it wasn't with me... but I am so thankful you want to walk that path with me again. I love you...and I am here for you, no matter what happens we will whether it together. Catherine is an incredibly strong woman and I honestly believe in my soul she will pull through this." April reassured collapsing herself into Jackson's chest wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.
As they turned and walked hand in hand out of the chapel towards the waiting room Jackson let out a little laugh "...Mom really does have a way of meddling..."