I walked up the hill until he saw the large dragon coiled around a pine tree. It was big, and intimidating, so don't act like I'm an idiot. That's my job. I stepped back, stumbled, and fell on my rear. I fumbled with the strange crowbar, trying to pull it through my belt loop. My traveling companions rushed quickly to the top of the hill. Cassie pulled a ukulele out of her back pack. The dragon growled and I grabbed my crowbar out of its makeshift holder slamming it into my face. That's me, smooth as sandpaper. My vision darkened and the last thing I remember before passing out was Cassie beginning to play "somewhere over a rainbow". It's a nice song to pass out to.
When I woke up, the summer sun over head, and a green eyed boy around 17 was leaning over me trying to feed me what looked like a spinach brownie. I, being a cool headed individual, said something like "Whoa-huh" and punched him the face. Man, something was weird with this guy because he didn't flinch and I almost broke my hand. it's okay though cause I did kinda attack him.
"Hi my name is Percy, eat this" he said with a warm smile. Wow, he didn't mince words.
"Will it kill me?" I asked. I'm going to level with you here, it looked a little like a goat turd.
"No, and I won't either" he said. So that good but he still was kinda staring at me which was freaking me out.
"Thanks, my name's john by the way" I said stuffing the whole thing in my mouth. It tasted like warm popcorn and my hand stopped throbbing. That's when I decided I liked this Percy kid.
"Don't eat too much or you'll die" he said suddenly. I spat it out and looked at him with a shocked look on my face. That's when i decided i didn't like him that much.
'I thought you said it wouldn't kill me?" I said.
"I meant you could eat that square but not anymore." He said, like it was common knowledge. That was the moment I decided he nice but not all too bright.
"Seaweed brain, stop messing with him it's just a bump" said a blonde girl who was setting next to my friends. I later found out her name was Annabeth. "My name's Annabeth" she said, "we'll show you around."
It was fun; our guides, my friends and I walked around and saw a lake for canoeing, a dangerous rock climbing wall and the mess hall (I liked the mess hall because it meant I could eat for the first time in a week). I tried to spar a little but the swords just felt wrong in my hand. I decided to keep my crowbar. Camp half-blood was the promised land Trevor had promised.
Finally we met Chiron. He chatted calmly to us, but let's face it; we were all just staring at his horse legs. He asked our names and Bruce was the first to answer and quickly and energetically shook his hand.
Let me describe Bruce; he's prep. He was also born in 1936, but because some quality time at the lotus hotel and casino he's only sixteen. He has black hair and blue eyes. He first got out six months ago and made his way to Vermont where he met me, Cassie, and Trevor. He did with nothing but a light polo shirt, khakis, a pair of dress shoes, and a celestial bronze dagger ducted taped to a golf club.
Next Cassie said her name. Chiron bowed a little and she curtsied with her dusty sundress.
Time to describe Cassie, She's sixteen and that's not because time dilation or anything, she should be that age. She was born in Texas and has brown hair and big beautiful blue eyes. They're deep as a fresh spring of… whoa, got a little weird there, sorry. Her life was messed up when she repaired a ukulele that was Orpheus's lyre in disguise. Once she found it a creepy kid from her class named Trevor came over showed her his goat legs and started leading her north. They made it to Vermont, found Bruce and I, then after Trevor describe how wonderful a certain camp was, and got eaten. In all fairness I told him that "Free Toomatas 4 yeu!" was obviously a trap made by Cyclopes. Anyway Cassie is nice.
"Hi, my name's john" I said then politely shaking his hand. I have blue eyes, blond hair and enjoy long walks on the beach. Sorry, that was a lame joke. Here's my story: I was born in north Florida. I don't know my mom because she left me in a dumpster at age 3. I grew up in a foster home of what I later learned to be centaurs, not crippled party goers. When they told me to go north I did and they gave me the things I brought up with me. Those things were a black t-shirt that says "Pwarty time", a pair of heart boxers, a pair of jeans, and a crowbar with both ends made of celestial bronze.
Speaking of my adoptive parents I iris messaged them right after the meeting. "Yo little dude" said my "dad", "wazzup!". He was wearing a glow stick necklace and what could only be described as a "whale top hat".
"I made it to camp half-blood, and even found some friends." I replied. I couldn't help noticing he was in a centaur mosh pit. "Where's mom?" I said.
"I'm proud, man!" he said ignoring me, "you're safe and social at age 1!" he grinned stupidly and I stared at him in shock. "Oh, crap! I was going to tell you that later. Oh, well, I explain to Chiron and he'll tell you. Tootles little man!" he said resuming his partying.
"Wait, tell me now!" I said, but he was gone into a fine mist and a finally flash of the strobe light.
Troubled, I went to the mess hall where before eating we had to stand in front of everyone and introduce ourselves. As soon as Bruce introduced himself a lightning bolt appear over his head. Campers clapped, Bruce beamed, and then he sat down at the Zeus table. Cassie introduced herself and a musical note appeared over her head and she sat down with her siblings at the muses table (they all sat at one table by the muses' request. I introduced myself and to things happened. First a young satyr walked up and told Chiron there was an iris-message about a certain "little Bro-hemoth". As soon as Chiron walked away from me there was a change in the air and time slowed to almost stopping. Instinctively I leaped to the side right before a lightning bolt struck where I was standing. So, that was exciting. By the way it happened five more times until I ran into the big house. The big house has a lightning rod.
Ten minutes later Chiron was talking to me solemnly. "John, do you remember your childhood?" he asked. He could tell by my face I didn't really. I mean I did but only a little, it's just a blur. "Your adoptive father has informed me he raised you from the time you looked about five until last winter, correct?" he said and without waiting for my answer he continued. "You aged at the rate of about a year a day. They only raised you for one year. After the first two weeks after your birth you began to age naturally. We also know found your mother, she was a senior camper last year and she left during the titian rebellion."
"Who's my dad" I asked. Thoughts rolled around in my head like a swimmer caught in a whirlpool.
"Your father's name was Luke Castellan, but at the time of your conception he was Cronos" he said with firmness. I stood up walked two feet and threw up. Then, and don't judge me, I fell face down completely unconscious.
Chapter 3: departure
When I came to I was in a bed in the big house. A flash of red hair was all in saw in the doorway. On the table next to me was a scroll. I picked it up and it said "dear john, the god news is you can go outside without being flash fried…" I liked not being flash fried, whatever that is. "unfortunately, you must complete a quest for the gods by next month or they'll kill you. Here's the prophecy…
12 gods, 12 tasks, each one dire. Will thou die by blade or fire. Son of time save your breath. Or you'll meet a timely death."
"That kinda sucks" I thought, but hey I had a chance. As soon as I walked out of the house I was given my crowbar and a grey Pegasus to help me on his travels. No one but Chiron knew my identity so they were all friendly. The Pegasus I found out was the son of Percy's Pegasus. Percy said his name was Slapjack and I had to keep him out of trouble. Too bad I was going to be in trouble for a long time.
Chapter 4: Ares' challenge
First on the list was taking an ankle band from some girl at a Virginia summer camp. Funny story, when I got there it turned out they were amazons. Really hot amazons. When I landed I found the cabin leader and did intense battle with her. Get your mind out of the gutter, that wasn't code for something, she had a sword (also not code for anything). Half way through the fight I realized I was tiring and needed to stop. Suddenly she froze and just glared at me. I decided to stop staring at her dark brown eyes and long red hair (sorry that was weird but she was hot, ok) and just grabbed the ankle band. It had a dolphin on it.
Suddenly, it vanished and I thought I heard someone say "Next time punk." Also little miss amazon decided to fight me and slashed of my hand. Two. Words. D*** that hurt like a B*****! As I grabbed my hand and flew of I learned an important lesson. My limbs could be reattached just by pressing them together and ignoring the intense burning pain. Luckily I finished my first task I a day so I was doing okay.
Chapter 5:5 easy tasks
For Artemis all I had to do was catch a deer without killing it. It took me three days to find out I could freeze time but after that (any stealing some rope from a immobile camper it was a cake walk. Then Aphrodite's was to kiss a stranger. I manage to use my natural awkwardness to beat this one. I tripped while trying to think of how to complete the challenge and fell face first into a young woman with dwarfism. Then Dionysus decides to make a surprise task and drove the woman mad. I'm not going to lie I had to punch a lady midget. In the face. Twice(she was really set on "killing all laser lions). After Demeter told me to pick a crop and try to make it grow. She then sent rain, summer hail, and made thorns grow. I told her I decided to grow thorns shortly after this. She was mad. Then Athena handed me a knot the size of a small dog and asked me to find its end. I being a wise and resourceful smart A** set it on fire. I declared I not only found but caused its end which she found slightly amusing. Plus I managed to do this in just a week.
Chapter 6: I get to lead a celestial car chase
Apollo asked me to fly his chariot for a day. It started out great; I turned the sun into some car I saw in an 80's cop film. I flew it to cruising altitude. Then a giant star covered scorpion started chasing me. It flew and threw fire balls all around the sun. near sun down after hours over dodging and exhausting panic attacks it grabbed the fuel pipe and sent us tumbling into the ocean. The water steamed around me and the force of the crash sent my head flying into the dashboard. For the third time in the last two weeks I was knocked unconscious.
Chapter 7: short cut
When I woke up I realized I was in Olympus. Hermes looked down at me and gave a weak smile. "you look like your father" he said slowly. "You look so much like him, except for your eyes, your horrible devil eyes." he said in a frightening tone. I got up and rushed to the nearest statue, a mirror like likeness of Achilles. In the glint of his shield I saw my eyes where golden. I got scared; the air grew cold, a butterfly stopped, frozen in time. Hermes walked over obviously unaffected by my power. "Calm down" he said softly. I breathed out and my eyes slowly my eyes changed back to their normal blue state. "I'm sorry" he said, "I just got carried away by my emotions". He pause them said" you have on task left and one night to do it in, all the remaining gods assigned you this task so it will count for all of them. You have to defeat the Typhon before he emerges for Tartorus. Nico will escort you there." Suddenly a boy a few years younger than me steeped out of the shadows and pulled me into them. When I could see again I was on the edge of a vast pit. Since I was probably dead anyway I took a deep breath and jumped in.
Chapter 8: everything hits the fan
I close my eyes not daring to open them. The air was heavy and malevolent I feel for about a split second (it seemed like an eternity) before it hit a soft fuzzy surface. I accidentally open my eyes and couldn't shut them. I was on the shoulder of what looked like a giant man made of mold. Its face shifted and changed into every monster imaginable. it also changed into my centaur parents' faces in pain, Cassie's face if had been dead for a day or two, it even turned into my face only laughing with big golden eyes. Then, in an instant I was sucked into the dark depths of his stomach. I felt hands all around me and I beat them off with my crowbar. It glowed faintly and I saw the hands were what looked like an old woman's hand on the end of a fluid-like tentacle. Worse yet I saw the "arms" lined the stomach in all directions. I beat at them and tired to stop time. The air grew cold, but they were barely slowed. Just when they were closing in around me, I swung with my crowbar and it shone with a cold light. The metal melted and reformed into a golden scythe. With new strength and cleaved through the hands. Dust and sulfur swirled around me, but the hands kept tearing at me. They ripped of my shoes, my shirt was long gone and my jeans where in tatters. Finally there was a rushed of foul air and I was rocket out of the chasm.
I picked myself up and stood with dignity and pride. I lifted my crowbar (it must have changed back) high. I might have been covered in dust and grime but my eyes shone and my posture demanded respect. Then my ruined jeans fell apart and my heart boxers showed. Nico stifled a laugh and said"it's time for your court hearing".
Chapter 9: the god's cut me a break
Beside the fact the gods let me bring two friends along to my court hearing nothing else happened after that. At least not yet. I'm standing in front of the Olympian council in my boxers. Cassie and Bruce are trying not to stare (at the Olympians, not my boxers). So that sums up my story so far, I just hope the story about your life flashing before your eyes before you die is a wives' tale. I'm pretty sure it just happened though. Crap.
"John Lukeson" said Zeus (I finally got the last name I've wanted since… right now)"for wounding the Typhon, we will not directly destroy you. We will also place you in Hermes' house because of yourother father's linage. The other campers won't know your true identity because of us or anything we do or say. However cross the gods and we will make sure you are punished. SEVERLY. That is all.
On the long cab ride to camp I told Bruce and Cassie the whole story. Even about how I was technically not even fit for preschool. We had gotten used to Bruce being over fifty so they seemed mildly ok with it. We also decided to keep this on the down-low, no one but us could find out or I would be stoned or something. We also decided to stay year round since me and Bruce where pretty powerful and Cassie was in possession of the most powerful stringed instrument ever. At the end of the summer we all got beads too. Cassie got a dancing dog because she apparently got Mrs.O'Leary the camp hell hound to dance the Macarena. Bruce got a lightning bolt (he was the first Zeus child since whatz-er-name). Rumors spread fast so everyone knew I battled the typhoon (just not why I battled it). By the end of the summer I knew what my bead was, a crowbar breaking a hand clean in two.