Armin
He just wanted to be alone but Eren and Mikasa-being the good friends that they are-wouldn't let him. And without realising it, he was happy with that.
Disclaimer: Attack on Titan doesn't belong to me
He sat alone on his bed in the boys' barracks holding on to the only thing that reminded him of his home-when he still had a family-his grandfather's old hat. The dusty brown hat was quite worn out since the day he received it; it was slightly misshapen and had a slight tear in the brim but Armin still kept it close to him; it was very precious to him.
He carefully put the hat on his head while tears welled up in his eyes. He thought back to the day the elderly Arlert put the hat on his head before leaving-never to return.
Today was the anniversary of the day he was left alone in this cruel world.
For that day he wasn't a cadet, a soldier or a survivor-he was just Armin Arlert, a fifteen year old who had to endure losing not only his parents but also his grandfather. And while most of the time he was able to keep his emotions in check; today he was just overwhelmed by all the negative emotions-sorrow, loss, unbelievable pain as well as his short comings as a cadet and friend, his inferiority complex was also plaguing him that overcast morning.
"I wish I'd died with the rest of you so I wouldn't be burden on my friends" he said to himself while tears glided down his face
Armin curled up on his bed and thought he was completely alone however a certain Jaeger stood outside by the window and had heard and seen everything with a very concerned expression on his face.
Xxx
The cadets had just finished lunch-Armin still hadn't left the barracks but luckily Eren covered for him saying that Armin was ill so he was to be excused for that day. Captain Levi didn't seem to mind-surprisingly.
"Eren, where's Armin? I haven't seen him all day." Mikasa asked as she and Eren left the eating hall
"He's still in the boys' barracks. He hasn't moved all day, I'm getting worried"
"Is he alright?" she asked also growing concerned. It was unusual for Armin to seclude himself much less from his closest friends
"I'm not sure unless…" and then it clicked in his head "Don't tell me today's the anniversary of his grandfather's death" and suddenly he remembered Armin clutching onto his grandfather's old hat "Oh man it is. That's why he's so depressed"
"But why wouldn't he tell us?" she was about to turn and head over to him but Eren put his hand on her shoulder to stop her
"You know Armin, he hates making people worry about him, especially us. I guess he thinks if he told us he'd be burdening us"
"But he's not a burden" she felt bad
"He doesn't believe that" he thought of his friend going through this all by himself
"So what are we going to do?"
"I've got an idea"
It was late afternoon; the sun had just begun to set, painting the sky in gold and orange light. Eren walked into the boys' barracks and towards his and Armin's bunk where the young blond was staring at the ceiling-eyes red and puffy.
"Hey Armin, you alright?" he took a seat at the bottom of the bed
"Eren…I'm fine" he sat up trying to make it look like he hadn't been crying
Eren sighed
'Still trying to pretend he's fine' he thought to himself
"Look Armin, I know what today is and how personal it is for you" Armin turned to look at Eren genuinely surprised. How could Eren possibly have known if he hadn't told him?
"And if you're here now then that means that you're worried about me, I'm sorry about that"
"No don't apologise and I'm worried about the fact that you didn't tell me or Mikasa"
"There are more important things to worry about than me"
"What's more important than helping your friend?" he said as gently as he could but he was still quite frustrated "You always insist that everything is more important than you, that anything takes priority over your life but it's not true. We've been friends for years and it's that big brain of yours that's gotten us-me mostly-out of a lot of shit" he closed his eyes and leaned back against his arms "You know for a genius you can be an idiot sometimes, you're the only one that doesn't see how valuable you are. It must be a genius thing-not that I would know obviously"
After a few seconds of silence they both started laughing. Eren looked over to see a genuine smile on Armin's face and he was glad to see it.
"And with the mood lifted, let's go" Eren stood up and held out his hand for his friend and Armin remembered the last time Eren held out his hand like that-back when they were kids. He didn't take his hand then but he decided to take his hand now and stand with the help of his best friend. "After spending the entire day in here, you need to clear your head with some fresh air"
But just as Eren stepped outside he stopped
"Oh and another thing Armin, please don't wish that you'd died with your family again." He turned to look at him "We need you here"
Xxx
The two of them had been walking around in the forest for about twenty minutes-Eren leading and Armin following closely behind.
"Eren I'm starting to get the feeling that you have no idea where we're going" he said looking around and noticing that they weren't travelling in a specific direction, just walking basically
"You're right I don't, I was just buying time" he stopped and turned to face him
"Buying time for what?"
"For Mikasa to finish her part of the plan" he said while leaning against the tree next to him
"What plan?"
"The plan where we cheer you up" Mikasa said just catching up to them carrying something wrapped in material
"Mikasa how did you find us?" he asked surprised to see her and confused that he was the only one who didn't know what was happening
"Eren left a mark on the trees you passed" she walked forward and gave him the package "Armin, we know how you feel-all three of us have lost our families. So don't think you're going through this alone and don't for a second think that sharing that pain with us means that you're a burden in any way because you're not. Eren and I see you as family and hope that you see us that way too. With that in mind I hope this makes you feel better" she unwrapped the item and gave it to him
He froze
"Mikasa…how did you…?" he was stunned and before he could say anymore, tears had already left his eyes
In his hands was his grandfather's hat but it looked better than ever-it had been washed and the tear in the brim was sewn closed.
"I guess after all these years I still remember how to sew, so Eren asked me to fix your grandfather's hat. The walk in the forest was just him buying me time to work on the hat"
"I-I don't know what to say" he said trembling with emotion with the hat still in his hands
"You don't have to say anything; except that in future you'll tell us when you're feeling weighed down because we'll come support you" she took the hat from him and placed it on his head.
Where it belonged.
"Thank you, both of you" he finally managed to speak but the tears never stopped flowing from his sky blue eyes but he was smiling nonetheless. And before Mikasa could say anything Armin put his arms around her in an affectionate hug. She was surprised at first but then hugged him back with a smile. They separated after a while and once they had Armin looked over to Eren.
"Just get in here" Eren held out his arms and the two childhood friends hugged and laughed
The sun was almost completely set-it was time to head back to HQ.
"Alright let's go before they notice we're missing" said Mikasa leading the way back, Eren by her side and Armin slightly behind. He watched his two closest friends walking and talking to each other with a smile on his face.
He thought he knew what he wanted when he decided to spend the day by himself-in complete isolation in fear of burdening his friends but he couldn't be any happier at the fact that his friends had come to cheer him up; that they'd dropped everything to tell him the one thing he never could believe about himself-they needed him just as much as he needed them:
They were best friends,
Equals
And that's all he ever wanted.
And that's that story done and dusted. Hope you enjoyed it, feel free to review or PM if you have questions about any of my stories.
Until next time-
Ketsui Tasogare