Who needs the fairytale?
Summary: Neela needs Abby's advice when she finds herself facing a difficult decision. Set towards the end of season 15. Currently a two-parter but may be developed, we'll see how it all works out.
Disclaimer - I'd love to own the characters, storylines, actors and sets but I really don't have room in my little house. Maybe I could just have Ray….? Would that be OK?
It had been a tough shift and Neela had taken her earliest opportunity to slip out of County General. It was unlike her to pay attention to breaks and finishing times but the day had worn her down and she realised with a bit of a shock that she hadn't felt this physically and mentally exhausted for a long, long time.
She arrived at the El platform not long before the train itself and on boarding, she was glad to see that the train was as empty as she'd ever seen it. It was a relief after spending the day providing surgical consults to the busy ER. She could only hope that none of the other passengers would try to strike up a conversation. Usually the casual friendliness of her fellow Chicagoans cheered her and made her feel as though she belonged in the city but recently she had been wishing more and more for the chilly reserve and self sufficiency of the passengers riding the London Tube system. A place where eye contact was strictly forbidden and the only words of conversation exchanged between strangers were stilted "excuse me's". Maybe she was becoming jaded, maybe a little less open she contemplated unhappily. In the past couple of years she had become more confident, harder, tougher. She had thickened her skin and she had earned respect but she sometime wondered what had happened to a more carefree and naïve Neela. She had never been laidback but she had been somewhat looser and the people around her had managed to bring out a brighter version of herself. She frowned and slid further down into her seat, blocking the view rushing past the window.
Thankfully her journey passed uneventfully and she arrived back at her apartment to be caught by her elderly neighbour.
She tried to hide the weariness in her voice. "Good evening Mrs Jameson"
"Neela dear, I signed for some envelopes for you. I hope that was OK?"
Neela received the envelopes gratefully and entered her apartment. As usual, she dumped her bag and coat next to the door and reached for the stereo remote. Soft acoustic music filed the apartment and made the place feel a little more homely. She had never really wanted to make her mark on this apartment. It had always felt like a place to sleep. If she was being truthful she would have to admit that; with the exception of her childhood home; the only place that had ever felt like a refuge from the world had been Ray's old apartment. Messy, chaotic and juvenile it might have been but it was safe and comfortable. She would leave work eager to be home, unwinding on the sofa or eating take away cross-legged on the floor.
Putting the thoughts of Ray out of her mind she turned her concentration to the envelopes in her hand. Three bulky, official-looking envelopes and a scruffy thin package in a padded envelope. Neela recognised the official stamp on the first of the envelopes and tore it open to reveal an acceptance for a surgical fellowship at County if she wished to take it. The second and third envelopes were along similar lines. The second was an acceptance for Duke and roused more interest in Neela than the acceptance for County. The third envelope contained another acceptance but it caused a multitude of emotions. She was excited but also felt a deep rush of shame and embarrassment run through her body. Instead of reading any further through the letters she left them on the coffee table; taking only the padded envelope; and went into the kitchen. She was feeling inclined to make up a pot of coffee but quickly changed her mind and retrieved a good quality bottle of tequila from one of the high shelves. It was saved for emergencies and shocks and she felt today had warranted a couple of shots at least.
She set the bottle and final envelope on the kitchen counter and pulled herself up onto one of the wobbly breakfast stools. After sitting for several minutes and doing nothing but taking occasional sips of tequila she carefully ran a finger through the envelope and pulled out a small hardback book with the smiling faces of Abby, Luka and a chubby looking Joe. She flicked through the pages smiling at some of the older pictures at the front. There was an unimpressed looking Pratt bouncing Joe as Morris pulled faces. There was Frank showing his softer side as Joe played on the admit desk and in a particular heart-warming shot, Ray was holding Joe in his lap as Joe's arms reached out to paw at Ray's beloved guitar. On the last page she found a short handwritten note from Abby.
'The years haven't been easy and mine and Luka's relationship has not been a fairy tale. There is never a right time and a right way. The day to day reality will always be more important than the big gesture. I'm so lucky to have had all of the struggles and all of the pain because it means my life is real and not a storybook happy ending. Every bad thing that has happened has led me to where I am now and I wouldn't change it if I could. Cinderella is for wimps.'
Neela picked up the phone and dialled Abby. No one else was in a better place to help her decision.
A/N I will update soon. I think some good old Abby wisdom would be just the ticket.