I stood at the end of our dining room table, studying it with satisfaction in my eye. My nice china from Asia was neatly sitting in two rows, the silverware shining beside it, and steaming hot dishes my husband Sean cooked running down the middle. This is going to be yet another perfect birthday, I thought to myself.
There was a sudden crashing of pots and pans in the kitchen and I smiled to myself as Sean poked his head around the corner.
"It's all good. Just a few dishes that need to be re-washed," he reported before disappearing back into the kitchen with a wink.
At the bottom of our winding staircase, I heard my daughter Sophia and her husband arrive. Moments later we were all in the kitchen giving greetings and exchanging hugs.
"Happy birthday Sophia," I murmured in her ear as I hugged my daughter close to me.
After a moment of saying everything without saying anything, we drew apart. While Sophia went over by the stove with Sean, I gave my son-in-law a quick hug, enjoying the familiarity of it. We broke apart at the sound of Sean and Sophia having yet another very animated conversation about cooking. I smiled as I thought back to how nothing was this easy.
***20 YEARS EARLIER***
I rolled down the windows in our SUV before reaching around to find my sunglasses. This Floridian summer was proving to be one of the hottest of the decade.
I glance in my rear view mirror to see that my seven year old daughter has slipped on her big, hot pink sunglasses and was now staring distractedly out the window. She brushed a golden curl away from her face to look up and catch my eye.
"You okay Soph? Is something bothering you?" I asked her.
"I just wish daddy was here," the little girl replied, tears shimmering in her eyes. She brushed them away with the back of her hand before replacing her sunglasses and turning back to the window.
Jackson, I thought to myself. He had recently passed away from Lung Cancer and Sophia missed her dad more than ever, especially on these occasions he always made sure we spent together as a family.
"I know honey, I know. I miss daddy lots too. But I'm sure that up in heaven he's watching you right now and wishing you wouldn't be so sad on your special day. He's celebrating with us too because he know how much you enjoyed our special times together." I fell silent for a moment as I pulled into a parking spot and climbed in the back beside Sophia. "We're at the store now so lets go get our last minute ingredients. Then we can bake your cake and have a fun night doing whatever you want. Does that sound good?" I asked her, giving her a big bear hug.
Sophia sniffled and slowly nodded her head. We both climbed out of the car and walked towards the store. We smiled at the cool air from the central air conditioner and Sophia skipped over to get a cart for us. As she pushed it through each of the aisles, we picked up the ingredients we needed to make her skor cake: skor bits, whipped cream, sugar, and caramel sauce. The rest we had at home. I pushed the cart up to the checkout as Sophia ran to the side to pick out what kind of chocolate bar or candy she wanted today. It was a little game we played every time we went to the grocery store. Sophia would pick out what kind of treat she wanted and then she'd secretly pick one for me based on our moods. Today she came back with a caramilk bar for her and I pretended to shield my eyes so that she could slip mine to the clerk without me finding out what it was. When it was all packed away and hidden, I turned back to the clerk with a smile on my face. I glanced into his blue eyes, and noticed they were the most beautiful ocean blue eyes, and they stood out even more against the black curls that tumbled into his eyes.
I quickly paid for our things and as I turned to leave, I'm fairly sure I heard him whisper "Have a good day April." I paused, and turned around to face him.
"How'd you know my name? I've never even met you before," I questioned him, curiosity edging into my voice.
"I must have seen it on your debit card when I swiped it," he smoothly lied. Careful, he thought to himself.
"Oh okay then. Well you have a good day too then… Derek," I replied after glancing down at his name tag. With that I turned with Sophia's hand tightly grasped in mine as we carried on out into the summers heat once again.
That night as I put Sophia to bed, I noticed how sleepy she was as she curled up into a little ball with her bunny and blankets. She must have been worn out from everything we'd done tonight; from baking and decorating her cake to having sand castle building contests to setting off fireworks from the beach behind our backyard, she'd had the biggest smile on her face. Somewhat similar to Derek's grin, I thought to myself. In the background I heard the phone begin to ring somewhere downstairs.
I shook my head, quickly clearing any thoughts of him as I gently rose from Sophia's bed and headed down the stairs.