"How the Glee guys do it"
'-naochie03-': This was fun to write. I like writing Finn. xD He's cute and fun. And honestly, I like Finn when he's together with Kurt. Their interactions are so funny—and adorable. xD They're too adorable as brothers, really. One of the best things that ever happened, next to KLAINE of course. LOL.
PS: So yeah, we re-watched "Rumors" and I just squealed when I heard Sam tell about how Kurt discovered his state. Sam said that he was working as a pizza deliver boy at NIGHT, and then he delivered one to Dalton. So lemme get this straight, Kurt was at Dalton (coughBlainecough) at NIGHT? *obscene lewd images*
Summary: In which the boys are all about bromance, Blaine breaks the stereotype, Puck's obsessed with Blaine and Kurt's sex life, Mike gets ignored, Finn is mentally scarred for life, Sam is amused, Artie considers his friends' mental health, and the possibilities of Kurt getting pregnant.
Disclaimer: I do not own GLEE. If I did, Kurt Hummel wouldn't be walking straight, and Blaine would just be too tad smug about it.
Both Carole and Burt had taken a little 'late-honeymoon'. Finn didn't know the exact day or time their parents would come home—except maybe, other than that suspicious and not to mention, disturbing, high-pitched and giggly 'Soon!' he had gotten from his mom. All he knew was that Kurt Hummel, his baby brother from another mother, had something to do with it.
As soon as the couple was out of their sight, the countertenor wasted no time in calling everybody in the New Directions, inviting them over for a sleepover that was terribly greater than Rachel's, and that yes, Blaine would no doubt be invited too.
And less than five minutes later, Blaine showed up. Finn shrugged. Phone call or no phone call, he knew that the curly haired soloist was really going to make a visit at their house. Of course he does, every single day.
Afterwards, people from the New Directions came in.
Mercedes came surprisingly with Sam. (And they even made a coughexcusecough that it was by pure coincidence that they 'met' up with each other!) Finn rolled his eyes internally. Yes, and they all knew that Sam was a natural blonde-oh, and please excuse the dripping sarcasm, the one flooding the floor.
Puck came in with beers. (Surprisingly no vodka or any strong alcohol—weird.)
Tina brought Mike.
Santana brought Brittany, who brought some dolphin stuffed toys for Kurt, and some other 'toys' that she said that was only for dolphins and stuff.
Lauren came in...She just did.
Quinn arrived. She brought a manicure/pedicure box and insisted that it was his baby brother who told her to bring one.
Rachel stormed in, straight to Kurt's bedroom, without so much a glance or a greeting to Finn. (In which Finn took great hurt in. Dammit! He was SO sure that he didn't do anything to make Rachel angry that past week.)
And lastly, Artie came in with...Halo.
'Aw, yeah'. Finn cheered in his mind. Thanking Grilled Cheesus, he fist pumped into the air claiming that this was the best (first) Hummel-Hudson sleepover ever.
Puck and the other guys were hanging by the living room, chilling and just drinking beer. In adverse to girls' gossip about how the guys bond together and let their beautiful bromance sweep in, which was usually playing COD or Halo, or talking about girls, or watching violent movies—they never thought that guys could just sit and unwind and just...talk.
But absolutely no crying.
Because that would be a girly thing to do.
And so, it came to everybody's surprise when they saw Blaine Anderson walk into the room with a slight uncomfortable look on his face. Completely oblivious to everyone's stares, the curly haired Warbler grabbed a beer and sat down on the space next to Finn.
"Dude? Why are you here?" Puck asked offhandedly.
A bit offended, Blaine frowned. "What? I'm not allowed to be here?"
"No", Artie explained, "it's just that...You're—"
"You're gay", Puck emphasized the word without any intentioned malice, just burning curiosity. "Aren't you supposed to be with Kurt and the girls upstairs or something?"
Snorting, the shorter took a swig of his beer. "I don't know. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I have to paint my nails or listen to gossip in a sleepover. I mean, hey, I like football", he shrugged.
Totally amazed by this guy's confidence and unpredictableness, Finn raised his fist as a gesture to the other. Blaine caught his drift and grinned.
"Way to break the stereotype, dude", Finn remarked as he fist bumped with Blaine.
"So, did you guys fuck already?"
Blaine literally spat his drink. Thankfully though, to his opposite direction. Finn was saved from a beer shower.
"Really, Puck? Really? My baby brother's sex life?"
"Sometimes, I doubt your being of straightness."
"I like boobs."
"Sure you do." Sam gave Puck a sideways glance.
"That's what he said." Artie commented.
Mike was about to open his mouth to give his piece of mind (since they have forgotten about him for the past hour or so—again!) when Puck beat him to it by slamming his drink down. "That's not the point!"
"What is your point then?"
The other Asian couldn't handle it any longer. "The tip of the iceberg?"
Awkward silence filled the room. All their glances only told him of one thing: "What the hell dude?" Now...Now Mike finally understands how Brittany was feeling all this time. Honestly, poor girl.
"Back to the topic, how far are you with Princess?"
Blaine felt himself get a bit flustered. "Well...I can't tell you exactly. But we're not...going all the way yet."
"And yet", Sam snorted, "here you don't deny about the both of you 'heading' towards there. Right, Blainey boo?"
"Burt has a shotgun you know", Finn mumbled, extremely put off by the whole conversation. Then the quarterback grinned as the boy in question visibly paled. "Yeah...Kurt mentioned that to me...before", he muttered, "I thought he was kidding about that though."
Puck eagerly waved Finn's nonsensical threat away. "Shut up Finn. Now prep school boy, tell me, how far long are you with Princess?"
"Dude!" Finn and Blaine blushed at the same time. "What the hell man? Why are you so excited by—by this topic anyway? And dude!" He then turned to the shorter, "Why the hell aren't you protesting or anything?"
Sam chuckled. "Don't get your panties in a knot Finn. Puck's just asking something which is supposed to be private but not-so-private in an awkward way. Let the man do his thing."
"But it's—I'm his BIG brother, for heaven's sake."
"My point exactly", Puck nodded. "Obviously, Porcelain won't tell you anything. And you don't have the balls to ask him either. What would you do one day when you wake up and they're both together in his bed, naked? Or Kurt comes home with a hickey on his neck or you walk in on them—"
"Okay! Okay! I get it! Jeez! No need for the mental images Puck", Finn said through gritted teeth. The Warbler just shook his head and took another chug to shake away the embarrassment and the (potential) plans and images that was playing like a mini-movie way in his head. And god no, he so did not need a raging hard-on with the guys as an audience. And absolutely no, he did not want everybody in the New Directions to know that Puck's vivid descriptions were arousing him.
Artie made a confused glance at Puck. "Dude, did you just ask Blaine 'how far long is he' with Kurt? Don't you ask that question to like, pregnant chicks?"
"I'm safe to say that I'm 100% not pregnant", Blaine laughed.
Finn looked at the other as if he grew two heads. "That's because you're a dude, man."
"And Kurt isn't?" He raised a challenging brow.
"So, Blaine has no possibility of getting pregnant, but Kurt has?"
"Wait—Kurt's pregnant?"
"What the hell dude! Are you stupid or something? Kurt couldn't—wouldn't, because he's a guy too...right? Right dude?" Finn helplessly stared at Blaine, and then Artie, and then Sam, and then Mike-anyone for backup. Burt would kill him if he got his precious son pregnant. But wait, he learned back in sixth grade that only girls get pregnant. And he was sure of that fact. Heck, he got Quinn to prove it. But KURT, pregnant? Uh-oh. Just the thought of it made him feel nauseous already.
As if on cue, the graceful countertenor bounced downed the stairs. He was wearing his favorite Chanel dark blue set of pajamas. His skin was flushed, and his eyes were sparkling. Blaine thought that he was the most beautiful thing his eyes have set on.
Finn, on the other hand, quickly jumped up from his seat and tackled the poor boy by embracing him from behind. Kurt let out a girlish shriek, which made Artie and Mike snigger.
"Finn! My hair!" was heard amidst the string of what seemed like a string of French curses leaving the boy's pretty lips. With a yelp, the huge quarterback was separated from him when Kurt slapped his hand rather harshly.
But then, being the persistent ignorant person he is, Finn turned Kurt around to face him. And then he lifted his pajama top just up to his bellybutton, earning another undignified squeak from his brother (and Blaine's diverted attention to the exposed smooth, white, delicious looking flat stomach) and touched it with both of his hands, caressing it gently.
"You...You would tell me, right Kurt?" Finn began awkwardly. Flicking his gaze towards his boyfriend's for a brief second, the counter tenor saw that Blaine was staring at him with intense eyes. His usual hazel eyes turning a full hungry black.
He felt his cheeks heat up.
"Tell you what Finn?" Kurt sighed exasperatedly as he slapped Finn's hands away and then straightened the creases of his top.
"...Are you pregnant?" the quarterback bluntly threw the question. And god, Puck swore that he has never seen a more hilarious scene than this one. Hell, F.R.I.E.N.D.S and even that show, Two and a half men, was nowhere near as amusing as the live one going in front of him. Meanwhile, Blaine was starting to believe Kurt when he told him that Finn was dropped on his head far too often when he was just a baby.
Kurt Hummel was sure that this was the most embarrassing moment of his life.
And with Finn Hudson as his stepbrother, he was awfully sure that this was the most embarrassing moment of his life...so far.
Mustering all his energy, he poured it in the best bitch-glare he could ever produce at Finn. And it sure damned hell worked, because he was whimpering and looking like a kicked puppy. "Are you for real Finn? Really?" His face was so hot it burned.
"Yes, I'm gay Finn. But I'm still a guy, so I can't plausibly get pregnant!"
"But Puck said—"
"You always believe with what everybody says!" He snapped. Uh-oh, full-bitch mode. "Like that time when Quinn said you got her pregnant when the both of you were in the Jacuzzi. Or the time you thought I was cheating on Blaine with Sam!"
Both Blaine and Sam winced a little at the given memory.
Puck snorted. "Porcelain, you just admitted that you weren't pregnant. But you also admitted that you and Blaine were..." he sniggered, "Let's just say 'trying' to get you—" he was interrupted when Blaine threw a pillow cushion on him.
"Oh my god Puckerman", Kurt rubbed his temples. "Stop putting ideas into Finn's head! You know how he gets! It's like the time when he was convinced that Santa and the tooth fairy was a couple!" With a huff, he stormed into the kitchen.
Beet-red with embarrassment, Finn glared at Puck the whole time as he sat down and grabbed his half-empty beer bottle. Sheer awkward silence filled the room as they all listened to Kurt noisily finding something in the kitchen. And then he was muttering to himself all the way as he carried a tray of refrigerated brownies, the ones Finn was salivating over, to his room. But he gave Finn one last hard glance before strutting up the stairs.
Artie was the one who broke the silence. "Well, that was entertaining."
"At least we all learned something today", Sam nodded, stroking his imaginary beard.
"Finn learned that babies came from girls", Blaine smirked.
"Shut up Blaine."
"And we learned that Finn's the type to easily fool. Noted." Sam chuckled evilly.
They all fell into comfortable silence, drinking beer and making small talk. It wasn't until Kurt came down to put the dirty dishes in the sink and strutted back to his room when Puck noticed Blaine checking out Kurt's ass.
Grinning evilly, he waited till Kurt was out of earshot.
"So Blaine", Noah Puckerman grinned, "what kind of mailman do you have?"
A/N: Well, that was fun. xD There's a part two of this. :)) LOL. Let me know what you think! And please, seeing people at my fics to Story Alert and Favorites is nice, but I honestly want to hear your thoughts on this!:D Thanks. :)