Disclaimer: I am quite certain that we do not own any of these characters... otherwise our show would be exactly like this! (enter Gangsta' Yami) 'Fo sho mang!"

I Like Me Some Astronaut Babies.

It was a typical gloomy night at 'Yami's Pirate Only Bar-rrr', where only pirates were welcome. Pirate Bakura, a regular, sat in his regular spot. It was the best spot; for he could see everything. He was sipping on his pirates ale when he spotted the strangest sight. A cowboy with the goldest of gold locks like the sunken treasure in the stomach of a narwhal, intruded Yami's PIRATES ONLY Bar-rrr.

"Who da fuck do you think you is?" Gangsta-Pirate Yami spat.

"Hey ya'll! I reckon I'd like me some whiskey." Cowboy Marik exclaimed.

"Get your chap less ass out of my bar, bitch."

"I reckon I ain't lookin' for a fight, ya'll."

Gangsta-Pirate Yami quickly made a lasso-like motion, signaling the beating of the cowboy intruder. Pirate Bakura watched with impassive eyes as many buff, shitless, pirate men began to surround the daft cowboy. A tall man with a shit ton of pirate, care bear tattoos took the first punch, knocking the cowboy unconscious. Damn, that's a harsh beating.

Pirate Bakura continued watching as the buff, shirtless, pirate men continued about their shady business, kicking the victim as they passed. Bakura quickly finished his pirate ale and made his way towards the bruised and battered cowboy. He grabbed a hold of the eye-catching and surprisingly silky strands.

"Ey yo! Where you takin' dat punk ass bitch?" Gangsta-Pirate Yami yelled.

Pirate Bakura turned with a pirate glare, "None of your business, lowlife..." He exited the bar, Cowboy Marik in tow.

With gangsta tears brimming his eyes, Gangsta-Pirate Yami choked out, "Damn, what an inspirational pirate man."

Pirate Bakura was a revered pirate man and his ship reflected his reputation. His ship was an epitome of death. The sails were as black as ink with golden, narwhal penises etched into the cloth. He likes him some narwhals and some penis. His vessel was large, like his pirate package, which he planned to use that evening... Cannons of awesome lined the sides, ready for battle.

When they reached the ramp, Cowboy Marik was instantly dropped.

Pirate Bakura unlocked the simple lock attached to the ramp and prepared to open the cabin door. He then started a series of complex stretches, as if preparing for a marathon. With his legs warmed up and limber, he descended onto burned numbers on the floorboards. The captain showed great athleticism as he dramatically worked his way through the epic hopscotch course. At the end of the course was a giant red button. Pirate Bakura made his way towards the obnoxious button, pressing it with subtle excitement... gaaayyyy. If You Wanna Be My Lover began playing loudly from the speakers conveniently attached near the cabin door. His body began to move to the beat in an erotic manner. Slim, sexy hips gyrated to the beat, giving his watching crew all extreme hard-on's.

Gangsta-Pirate Yami waved as he passed by into the ship's cabin.

Finally unlocking the cabin door, Pirate Bakura pranced back to drag Cowboy Marik with him. As the pair reached the entrance, a voice called out to them.

"Who da hell are you, mang?"

Bakura rolled his eyes in impatience.

The voice called out again, "What's the password, yo?"

"NARWHALS!"

The cabin door opened with a groan.

"Welcome back, Captain Bakura." Gangsta-Pirate Yami grinned.

Upon entering the pirate Captain's room was a massive narwhal shaped bed accompanied by satin, narwhal penis sheets sat in the center. The bed posts had been intricately carved with a woodland theme, gold plated leaves spiraling to the peak. Thick red velvet curtains lined the sides of the canopy and silky, golden curtains accenting around the top. The bed was supported by a solid oak frame elaborately designed to match the posts, gold plating included.

The walls were stained in black and red as if a grotesque pirate battle had just taken place. Ornate furniture pieces were placed decoratively around the room giving it a feng shui feel.

Damn! That's a lavish room!

Pirate Bakura gently laid his Cowboy Goldie Locks down onto the sleek sheets of his sexy penis bed. He prepared to raise the sails. Stripping Cowboy Marik of his tattered gear, he eyed his treasure greedily. His eyes first spotted a firm, chiseled, six-pack on acres of tanned skin, begging to be marked by his yellowed teeth. The pirate peeled off the tight, chap-less pants revealing a pliable buttocks. Reaching for his lube, he readied his ship for departure.

Cowboy Marik opened his eyes upon a prickly prick of a feeling in his asshole. It was a pleasant prickly prick feeling. But not really. With a groan of protest, he tried squirming away from the rapist, unsuccessfully. He craned his neck to face his assaulter. Pirate Bakura bore a smug smirk.

"You're not going nowhere...I got you for three whole minutes. It's rape time..."

Cowboy Marik screamed and screamed, wishing for the brutal plundering of his sunken treasure to be over. Wham! Bam! Boom! Thank you sir. The ship had been docked and the treasure, found.

In exhaustion, Pirate Bakura shoved the cowboy off his beauteous bed onto hard, wood floors.

Cowboy Marik reflected briefly before he succumbed into unconsciousness. "Damn my ass hurts...and it's a little chilly down here."

As if reading the victim's thoughts, a heavy, down blanket settled on chilled shoulders.

To be continued...