Baby, I'm too lost in you, caught in you,
Lost in everything about you
So deep I can't sleep, I can't think,
I just think about the things that you do
I'm too lost in you
Crushes were so much easier when she was younger. She would simply get a little giggly on whichever classmate she found attractive and smile at them a little more often than normal. She tended to act a little more ladylike and maybe not be so bossy. Since she normally liked her geekier classmates, theoretically she had less competition. Of course, they wanted the prettier girls, whose hair would be either curly or straight (not both at the same time) and who talked a lot less, so her heart was inevitably broken. Those little heartbreaks hurt for maybe a week, and then she found a new book to amuse her.
How Hermione wished that she had confided more in her mother. If she had, maybe her mother would have told her that crushes and heartbreaks only get worse with age. Now, at seventeen, her crush which had horribly and quickly turned into lust was driving her insane. Books could no longer take her mind off of him, especially when he was in the same room, and it was becoming more and more difficult to answer him lucidly when he spoke to her. Almost inexplicably, her breath would shorten and she found herself biting her lip more and more often.
It only made matters worse that she knew he wanted her just as badly.
Dancing around their feelings had made things simpler; there was always the chance that one of them was wrong and a simple heartbreak would occur for which there was a simple remedy. Now that everything was pretty much out in the open, she had no clue what to do. Making the first move seemed to be the most logical, since she really did know him quite well, but she had first obtain the courage. This of course left her with option two, waiting, which was making it harder and harder to be in his presence without letting out a moan at the sight of him.
Logical Hermione couldn't believe how far into this she had let herself get. Hormonal Hermione was taking control, using the justification that if she gave in, the temptation would be gone. Logical Hermione didn't believe herself and always insisted that giving in would create the desire for more, which even logical Hermione admitted he would be quite capable of creating. Complete Hermione knew there was a reason that she always hated yo-yos.
Thus, in limbo she remained, using class to distract her during the day and trying to keep at least one person between them whenever they were together. Occasionally, this didn't work and those mealtimes during which they sat next to each other were some of the most difficult moments of her life. She was comforted that this wouldn't last long and at least he was feeling something of what she felt. Nights were too intense for her to even think about during the day.
At this moment, someone had mercy for her and he was out patrolling the corridors as she sat alone in the common room. Homework piles surrounded her, quills littered the floor, and her hair was piled on top of her head to allow her eyes unencumbered access to books and paper. He hadn't crossed her mind since dinner, during which she had to sit next to him; he had mentioned having to do patrols with someone from Ravenclaw before throwing a disgusted look Harry and Ginny's way and leaving. She hadn't seen or heard of him since.
Naturally, when the portrait hole opened, she jumped about twice her height in the air. He laughed a little as he walked over to her and plopped down in the chair next to her.
"I assume you forgot I was patrolling tonight."
"Yes, Ronald, to state the obvious, I did." Hermione wanted to smack herself; if she was capable of speaking to him, sarcasm seemed to be the only means of responding.
He laughed a little before perusing the homework piles. "Shall I state more of the obvious and say that you would sleep better at night if you didn't spend so much time doing homework a week before it's due?'
Not dreaming of him would do the trick as well. "I enjoy not putting my homework off until the night it's due and having to rush. The stress would kill me."
"You do your homework more regularly than Harry and I, and you're more stressed than both of us put together. I don't think your method is working."
"I also don't have an outlet for my stress like you two do."
"Get one then. It's not easy watching you like this."
Hermione lifted her head and looked sideways at him. Little things like that, that was how he showed his affection and they always made her smile. Oh damn, he was giving her that flirtatious look and she began to dread tonight's dreams.
"I don't really have the time to find one, and you know I'm naturally horrible at that type of thing. I can't even think of anything I could do to siphon off stress."
"Exercise works really well and almost anything can be considered exercise, if you do it properly."
"I guess kissing would fall under that category, then." Hormonal Hermione was winning this fight.
Ron flushed and gave a sheepish smile and laugh. "Well, it is exercise for your mouth. Although to kill off your stress, it'd have to be some pretty intense snogging."
Complete Hermione was praying that he wasn't insinuating anything, while Hormonal Hermione was egging herself on. In a surprise takeover, Sarcastic Hermione won.
"I don't go off and snog the first member of the opposite sex that I see."
"Ouch."
Logical Hermione wanted to take back what she said, but of course Hormonal Hermione felt that it needed to be said. Maybe not exactly at this moment, since it was killing the mood, but it did need to be said.
"I'm glad you're like that," Ron added, after smiling good-naturedly, "because then the guy that gets that lucky opportunity will know how lucky he really is."
Hermione blushed and looked back down to her paper. Another one of those little compliments would completely undo her, not like her will wasn't falling apart already. Sarcastic Hermione, be satiated for the evening, crawled back into her hole and Logical Hermione was weakening. It seemed like she was putting all of her energy into keeping herself looking down at the paper, which would keep Hormonal Hermione slightly at bay. Just keep looking down, even if he speaks…
"Look, since you're busy, I'll head up to bed. We both have to patrol early tomorrow morning, so don't stay up too much later."
Oh Lord, even if Logical Hermione won, only a few hours of sleep wouldn't be enough to keep her winning tomorrow, especially in the early morning twilight zone. Don't look up….
But why not just give in? Who's it going to hurt? Nobody else is here to see. There was also the added bonus that it was known that he was feeling something for her.
Now, when Hormonal Hermione began thinking logically, Complete Hermione knew all was lost. She looked up and tried to keep a straight face.
"I'm almost done. Just stay with me for a little bit longer."
Ron, who had been half out of his seat, gave her a slightly incredulous look as he sank back down.
"Miss Granger, I don't believe you've ever asked me to stay with you outside of desperate situations. Is something wrong?"
No, nothing could possibly be wrong.
Of course, at that moment, he had to do it and make her will crack. Hermione had seen that seductive smile once before, but it had been used on Lavender. Even then, her knees had gone weak and she had barely been able to concentrate all day. In her logically weakened state, weak knees weren't the only things happening to her.
Hermione wasn't sure how it happened, but the next thing she was conscious of was her lips on his, hands on his face, and herself pushing against his lap. The kiss was so much more than she dreamt as he instantly caught on and pulled her closer, one arm wrapped around her waist, the other holding the back of her head as if it was about to fall off. She pulled away slowly, breathing heavily, and her eyes closed. It was as if his mouth couldn't be away from hers as he moved with her, their noses still touching and his forehead resting against hers.
It was all too good to be reality. She felt a smile creep onto her face and heard his heaving breathing in time with hers. His lips were too close to resist and she met them again, kissing him as passionately as before. Something, she wasn't quite sure what, told her that she was slightly uncomfortable pushed against his lap like that, and she semi-consciously climbed on. She soon became quite aware of the rather large lump pushing into her thigh and of the loud moan he released from somewhere in his chest. Hormonal Hermione was screaming for joy and began to egg herself into pushing down her hips just a little bit.
Ron's moan was louder this time and both hands gripped her waist tightly as if to keep her where she was. The pressure right there felt so good and Hermione couldn't help the little noise that escaped. She suddenly regretted it as he pulled away and stared at her wide-eyed and mouth open.
"Hermione! What's gotten into you?"
The sudden loss of his lips, the loosening of his hands on her hips, and his expression instantly strengthened Logical Hermione enough for her to take over. Why the hell did she listen to emotion?
"I am so sorry, I honestly have no clue what got into me," she stammered, her cheeks burning bright red as she hid her face in her hands.
"Like hell you don't!" Ron accused, pulling her hands away from her face, "There's no way you could've kissed me like that without knowing what you were doing! And moving your hips like that!"
Hermione let her head sink to her chest as tears welled up in her eyes. All she wanted to do was get away and hide in her dormitory, but when she tried, Ron wrapped one arm tightly around her waist and held onto both wrists with his free hand.
"Please," she begged, chocking back tears, "just let me go."
Ron's forehead pressed against hers and she felt him shake his head.
"No, I'm not going to," he whispered, "I finally have you and was kissing you just like I've dreamed, and of course I've gone and fucked it up. You wanted that as badly as I did. If I hadn't stopped, I can only imagine what I would've done and I want you too much to risk getting slapped or a knee in the groin."
Hermione couldn't help laughing a little and she let herself look up, although she wasn't trusting herself to speak. Thankfully, he understood and kept talking.
"Please, I don't want to stop- that's the last thing I want. I just want to make sure you know what you're getting yourself into. It'll take extreme strength of will to stop once I've started and I don't think I'll be able to go back to just friends again. Kiss me like that again, Hermione, like I've dreamed for ages, and you've got me, hook, line, and sinker."
Hormonal Hermione took over violently as she saw the look of longing he was giving her. Her deep, dark thoughts of throwing friendship out the window to feel like that again surfaced with a roar and she couldn't stop herself from kissing him again. In his shock, her thankfully let go of her wrists, and her hand were all over his face and neck and burying themselves in his hair. Hermione was no longer herself, but a hormonal being doing only what felt good.
His hands gripped her waist tightly again and pushed her into him. That wonderful feeling was back and all she wanted to do was feel more of it; of course, the only solution was to push harder into him. He let out another loud moan which removed his mouth from hers- taking the opportunity, she moved onto his neck, kissing down towards his collar bone and moving as far below it as she could. He tasted so good and his scent was driving her insane. Logical Hermione gave one feeble attempt to remind her of what she was doing, but Hormonal Hermione was so strong that it was silenced instantly.
Ron's hands moved away from her waist to catch ahold of her face to bring her lips back to his. Hermione whimpered at the loss of the pressure on her hips, but felt herself silenced as he kissed her again, snaking his tongue into her mouth. Hermione felt her tongue push back and all she wanted was control. She pushed his chest into the chair and took a firm hold on his face. Her dominance turned him on as she felt the bulge get stronger and he let out another moan.
"Promise me you aren't going to stop now," he barely whispered, "I think it would kill me."
She laughed throatily and moved her mouth to his ear. "Well, you aren't in a position to turn me away and it should be known that now I've started, it's going to take extreme strength of will to make me stop."
He shuddered and she gently bit his earlobe. She felt his mouth open against her cheek, but no sound came out. She felt the compulsion to run her tongue against his ear and this time, sound came out.
"Dear God Hermione, you keep this up and I'm going to blow a load in my pants," he whispered distractedly, as if it was taking all of his concentration to control himself. Of course, Evil Hermione decided she needed to come out and partner with Hormonal Hermione. Making Ron lose it, no matter whether it was in his pants or in her hand, seemed like the perfect idea.
Moving her hips in a circular motion against his, she recaptured his mouth and slid her hands up his shirt. His muscles tensed, making them more easy to be felt by Hermione and so much more sensitive to her touch If she clawed her hand, he let out a startled gasp. If she ran a finger lightly down his chest, the bulge grew and shook.
His hands moved up and down her waist and toyed with the bottom of her shirt as if they were itching to get beneath it. Just as one hand moved tentatively underneath, the large clock above the fireplace sounded loudly. Both jumped and Ron looked as if he had been rudely awoken from a dream. Evil Hermione separated from Hormonal Hermione, who decided that she needed to go rest and recuperate.
"I didn't realize how late it was. I better get back up to bed."
Hermione refused to look at Ron as she gathered her things and headed towards the stairs. She didn't turn around until she reached the third step and heard her name called out. Turning slowly, she let out a sly smile at Ron's shell-shocked face.
"I'll see you tomorrow morning for rounds. Don't stay up to much later."
And after blowing him a kiss, she turned around and headed upstairs to a night of welcome dreams.
A/N: Okay, I could have over-rated this, but would much rather be safe than sorry. Please review and if you're kind enough, check out my other stories. There are a couple that don't have any reviews and I'd welcome any, even if they say that the stories suck. Danke schön!