Title: Caged Bird
Author: Illusive
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah isn't it so obvious that I own Naruto? … Note that was sarcasm, I don't want to get sued you know. Xx
Pairings: NarutoxHinata
Summary: 'It's like I'm trapped in this emotion that I want to be free of, yet I can't stop clinging onto it because if I let go I believe I just might lose everything I have; and now all I have is you.'
Warnings: …None?
Author's Note: This whole thing is based on the song 'Caged Bird' from DN Angel and the whole thing is basically Hinata's thoughts.
Drabble
'When you feel something so strong, you begin to wonder if your sanity might be slipping but when you love so strongly it just hurts too much. Like any other reaction to pain you would want to get rid of it but you then realize there's nothing you can do to stop yourself from experiencing the love you have for another. No matter what you do… Not even if I forced myself to forget about you or even to forget who I am would I be able to stop loving you. If I could only grow wings and fly away. To fly away from it all would mean freedom wouldn't it?
If I never saw you again, even if my mind forgot, my heart won't. All of this is like a huge wound which takes long to heal and will still leave a scar. So maybe if I just pretended I didn't love you, if I just turned my eyes from the facts and force a delusion onto myself. Maybe then, I'll be able to breathe again; but maybe not because I recognize that it doesn't work that way. Maybe it wouldn't work because I could never tear myself away from you. I could never forget you; I could never pretend that I don't love you, and I could never ever stop myself from watching you to remind myself that I am someone.
Now all I can do is distract myself from the fact that I am like a caged bird. Like it would be bound by its bars from its prison am I bound to this love. I'll be searching for a way out, just like the bird would after losing its freedom, but all of that would just result in mindless wandering and time wasting. As the bird loses hope and succumbs to its fate, I will as well, but in a different way because I know that if you did love me, you would set me free. If you did love me, then, I would not want to be free because even though I am bound, you will take care of me and even without my freedom I would have everything I need.
Yet… there is always that chance that you do not love me back. Now I am subjected to a fear created by this love. I'll always want to protect myself from getting hurt but I know that I would be even more hurt if I didn't take the only chance I have. So I am left to make a decision, choose to take a trail where I will soon be sent one way or another or to stay put an wait for someone to find me. That someone might never find me but then I would be safe right? No… I wouldn't because I would regret and that regret would kill me. It's like I'm trapped in this emotion that I want to be free of, yet I can't stop clinging onto it because if I let go I believe I just might lose everything I have; and now all I have is you.
I know now that I will have to sacrifice everything for love because that is what love is; to be willing to sacrifice anything and to surrender yourself. Even if I do fall at least I won't lose myself to regret.'