Heat rises to your cheeks as you both sink into silence, too shocked to say anything.
He's probably repulsed.
What were you thinking, Remus? He's your best friend. Or he was. He might not be after that.
It wasn't what you were expecting though. It was more. The fireworks seemed more like stars exploding, the butterflies more like dragons. You didn't expect the sweet sickness that followed and you certainly didn't anticipate that reaction.
You can't quite place the feeling now, but something seems too good, too perfect.
Nobody is ever allowed happiness, and you learned that the hard way. Life never lets you be happy – and if you decide to be happy with what it gives you, it takes that away too.
Suspicion crawls through you, fear overwhelms you, you're consumed by negativity.
Who says that he doesn't like you too, or didn't enjoy that kiss just as much as you did?
You hold on to that tiny flicker of hope. Trap it in your mind, in your heart. Never let it go out, even if the two of you do go separate ways.
Who are you kidding, though?
Sirius Black, the absolutely gorgeous joker, the notorious womanizer, would never like you in that way, because after all, you're Remus Lupin, the good boy, the smart one, the werewolf. His best friend.
You were quite happy keeping your feelings secret until you looked into his eyes.
You melted, didn't you, Remus? You completely crumbled. When he asked what you were thinking, you told him everything. Well, everything except him. You couldn't find the words to tell him, knowing he would probably hex you into next century before you could even stop talking. He looked away, started talking about one of his conquests. You use one of your many witty insults that somehow compliment him without him noticing – except this time, he noticed.
He stared at you, you stared back. And that was when you kissed him.
You'd never been a big fan of kissing, not that you had a huge queue of ladies waiting to lock lips with you. With Sirius, it was different, though. It wasn't sloppy or forced like it was with any girl you'd kissed before. Oh no, this one was magical and made your whole body glow.
Too good to be allowed.
Slowly, you look at him, catching him looking at you.
"Sorry. I'll... uh... go now..." You manage to mumble, standing up and beginning to walk away.
Before you can get too far, though, you feel a warm hand connecting to yours, fitting into it perfectly.
"Please don't." His beautiful voice says, low and unfaltering.
You sink back down next to him. And that is when you realise that maybe there is hope for you, maybe he can like you back. Highly unlikely, you know, but the flicker becomes a flame, burning away inside your heart.
"Don't be sorry." He says, his voice fuelling the fire, aggravating the butterflies desperately trying to escape your stomach.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." He continues.
He smiles and you know it's all for you now. You know he means it, he's not upset.
Barely allowing yourself to believe it's true, you smile back.
Then comes the moment when you know it's all true – the moment when he kisses you.
When he kisses you because he wants to and because he can. And that's the moment you've been waiting for. That is the moment when life can't ruin anything or take anything away from you, because the only thing left to take isn't easy to steal.
He's yours, Remus, all yours.
AN: Writing wolfstar for Izzie because reasons.